英语写作Coherence.docx

英语写作Coherence.docx

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英语写作Coherence

Coherence（连贯性）

•连贯性是指句中的成分之间具有含乎逻辑的有机联系，全句所表述的思路清晰，使交际对方容易得到要领。

•Coherencemeansclearandreasonableconnectionbetweenparts.

•thetrainofthoughtsflowssmoothlyinalogicalsequenceinasentence,fromsentencetosentence,fromparagraphtoparagraph

Example:

Johnsawahandbaginafield.Hewalkedacrossthefieldandpickedupthehandbag.Hetookthehandbagtothepolicestationandhandeditinaslostproperty.Whenhehaddonethis,hewenthome.

•这个语篇做到了紧凑连贯。

这是因为四个句子表达的意义联系紧密：

通过重复（handbag）延续主题发展，第四句this的照应对象是一个句组，做到回应总结。

•通过代词指示做到语义连贯：

第二、三、四句中的he与第一句的John发生了照应关系，第三句的it与第一、二句的handbag是词汇复现关系。

•Asentenceiscoherentwhenitswordsorpartsareproperlyconnectedandtheirrelationshipsunmistakablyclear.

•Itisnotcoherentifithas

•confusingshiftsinpersonandnumber,orinvoice,tense,andmood.

•pronounswithambiguousreference,

•faultyparallelconstructions,

•danglingormisplacedmodifiers,

•Pronounreference

•句子中的代词应在数性和人称等方面保持一致，或者和它所对应的名词词组保持一致。

1）代词与先行词在数上不一致是一个常见的错误。

•Beingastudent,weallwishtolearntowritewell.

•Onecanneverwriteeffectively,unlesstheywriteasmuchandasoftenastheycan.

Nomatterwhatheislearning,childrenallseemtofollowwhatthealdutsdo.

•2）.Ambiguousreference歧义指代:

asentencecontainsmorethanoneantecedenttowhichapronounmaygrammaticallyrefer.

Faulty:

Shetoldmysisterthatshewaswrong.

•Revised:

“I’mwrong,”shesaidtomysister.

•Sheadmittedthatshewaswrongandsaidsotomysister.

•“You’rewrong,”shesaidtomysister.

•Mysisterwastoldthatshewaswrong.

Faulty:

Hewasknockeddownbyabicycle,butitwasnotserious.

Revised:

Hewasknockeddownbyabicycle,butwasnotbadlyhurt.

•Faulty:

I’mgoingtothelectureonmodernChinesedramawithmyfriend,becauseheisadramatistIlike.

•Revised:

I’mgoingtothelectureonmodernChinesedramawithmyfriend,becausethespeakerisadramatistIlike.

•3）.Weakreference:

theantecedentisimpliedorunspecified指代含糊,orthesamepronounstandsfordifferentimpliedantecedents.Inthiscase,youshouldclearlystatewhatisimplied.

He’stheauthorofabest-sellingbookonsailing,althoughhe’sneversetfootonone.

•IwishedIhadbroughtmyraincoat,forithadbecomecolderandIneededit.

•Whentheweatherbecamecolder,IwishedIhadbroughtmyraincoat,forIneededit.

•Whenhewentbythedogpound（栏）,theyrushedtothefenceandbarkedathim.

•Whenhewentbythedogpound,thedogsrushedtothefenceandbarkedathim.

•注意：

句中起修饰作用的名词不可以作代词所指代的先行词。

•e.g.InJohnWhite’snovelTheWhites,hedescribesthelifeoftheimmigrantfamily.

•InhisnovelTheWhites,JohnWhitedescribesthelifeoftheimmigrantfamily.

Faulty:

Amanisjudgednotonlybywhathesaysbutalsobyhisdeeds.

Revised:

Amanisjudgednotonlybywhathesaysbutalsobywhathedoes.

Amanisjudgednotonlybyhiswordsbutalsobyhisdeeds.

•平行结构：

Parallelism一句话里往往出现两个或两个以上意思并列的成分，这些成分应该保持平衡。

•Collectingstamps,playingchessandcatchingbutterfliesareWary’shobbies.

•她既漂亮，又温柔，还勤俭持家。

•Parallelideashadbetterbeexpressedinparallelconstructions,whichgiveemphasis,clarityandcoherencetoasentence.

不平行（non-parallelism）

•Dentistsadvisebrushingyourteethaftereverymealandtoavoidsugarinyourdiet.

•Dentistsadvisebrushingyourteethaftereverymealandavoidingsugarinyourdiet.

•Sheispretty,tender,andmanagesthehouseholdthriftily.

•Sheispretty,tender,andthrifty.

•善于使用平行结构（parallelconstruction）

•Both…and,not…but,ratherthan,notonly…butalso…,aswellas,either…or,等结构前后的语法形式必须一致。

•Hebelievedneitherinhimselfnordidhebelieveinothers.

•Hebelievedneitherinhimselfnorinothers.

•平行的含义:

•语法结构一致平行

•语法结构，意义，语气

语法结构平行Parallelinstructure

•Wordtoword;phrasetophrase;clausetoclause;sentencetosentence

•Wehavegreatfaithandhighhopesforher.

•Wehavegreatfaithinandhighhopesforher.

•Toswiminapoolisnotasmuchfunasswimminginariver.

•Toswiminapoolisnotasmuchfunastoswiminariver.

•Thehurricanewasmoreofathreattothetouriststhanthenatives.

•Thehurricanewasmoreofathreattothetouriststhantothenatives.

•WemetaFrenchmanwhohadlivedinBrazil,butheknewverylittleabouthisowncountry.

•WemetaFrenchmanwhohadlivedinBrazil,butwhoknewverylittleabouthisowncountry.

•意义，语气一致平行

•Parallelbothinsenseandmood,voice,etc.:

•TheSpringFestivalbringschildrencare-freehappinessandgrantspeopleleisuredrefreshment.

•TheSpringFestivalbringschildrencare-freehappinessandgrantsadults/parentsleisuredrefreshment.

•Hewasbeatenandrobbed,andthentheylefthimtodieinthegutter.

•Hewasbeatenandrobbed,andlefttodieinthegutter.

•IfIwererichandshewassingle,Iwouldmarryher.

•IfIwererichandsheweresingle,Iwouldmarryher.

•Payyourtaxesandyoushouldbehonest.（theimperativemoodshiftstotheindicative）

•Payyourtaxesandbehonest.

misplacedmodifiers错位

•英文句子的每个成分，如主语，谓语，宾语和状语，应在句中占有正确的位置。

如果放错了位置，那么这句话不仅是个病句，而且很可能造成意思上的误解。

•Peoplewhowatchtelevisionrarelyreadmuch.

•Wesawthemonkeysdrivingdownthehighway.

下面每句话能有两个或两个以上的含义，请把说出它的每一种意思。

•Thelambwastoohottoeat.

•Thepolicewereorderedtostopdrinkinginthepark.

•Themonkeysamusedthepeopleincagesatthezoo.

•Asharkmayattackamanthatishungry.

Misplacedwords—adverbs

•Becarefulwith“almost”“even”“hardly”“merely”“nearly”“only”etc.

•Misplaced:

Henearlylosttendollarslastnight.

•Revised:

Helostnearlytendollarslastnight.

•OnSunday,Ialmostwalkedtothepark.

•OnSunday,Iwalkedalmosttothepark.

•Ifamodifierthatcanmodifyboththewordsthatprecedeandfollowit,becareful!

•Therainthatthecropshadneededbadlydamagedtheroads.

•Clear:

Therainthatthecropshadbadlyneededdamagedtheroads.

•Clear:

Therainthatthecropshadneededdamagedtheroadsbadly.

•Shedecidedatthatinstanttoquithejob.

•Clear:

Shedecidedtoquithejobatthatinstant.

•Clear:

Atthatinstantshedecidedtoquithejob.

•Note:

thesementionedadverbsshouldimmediatelyprecedeorbeputclosetothewordtheymodify.

Misplacedphrases

•Mostoften,itistheprepositionalphrasesthataremisplaced.Thebestruletofollowistokeepthemawayfromwordstheymustnotbeunderstoodtomodify.Theusualwayistoputthemrightafterthewordtheymodify,becausetheytendtorefertothewordthatcomesimmediatelybeforethem.

•Misplaced:

IlookedatthetreeIhadfelled（砍倒）withmyhandsinmypocket.

•Withmyhandsinmypocket,IlookedatthetreeIhadfelled（砍倒）

•Misplaced:

Thefamilygottogethertoeatmooncakeswiththefullmoon.

•Revised:

Thefamilygottogethertoeatmooncakesandappreciatethefullmoon.

Misplacedclauses

•Janehadakitteninthehousethatatebirds.

•Inthehouse,Janehadakittenthatatebirds.

•Oneday,theQueengaveHouyiapillwhichcanmakepeopleflywhenhewasinthemountainKunlun.

•Oneday,whenhewasinthemountainKunlun,theQueengaveHouyiapillwhichcanmakepeoplefly.

垂悬修饰语（danglingmodifier）

•垂悬修饰语指在句中作状语却找不到逻辑主语的介词短语，非谓语动词短语，是常见的语病。

•Onarrivingtheriver,thecurrentwasfrightening.

•Goingthroughtheredlight,thetrafficpoliceondutystoppedhim.

•Note:

Itfrequentlyoccursatthebeginningofasentence.Theintroductoryphrasesalwaysrefertothesentence’ssubject.Ifthesubjectisnotthewordthattheintroductoryphraseismeanttomodify,thenthephrasedangles,orhangs.

•1.Whilereading,thedoorbellrang.

•Whilereading,Iheardthedoorbellring

•2.Standingbythewindow,theparkoppositeourhouseisinfullview.

•Standingbythewindow,wecanhaveafullviewoftheparkoppositeourhouse.

•3.Fromattendingclass,theprinciplesofchemistryweremadeclear.

•Fromattendingclass,wecametounderstandtheprinciplesofchemistry.

•Fromourattendingclass,theprinciplesofchemistryweremadeclear.

•4.Todevelopalivelywritingstyle,allkindsofsentencestructuresshouldbeused.

•Todevelopalivelywritingstyle,thewritershoulduseallkindsofsentencestructures.

•5.Whenonlythreeyearsold,myfathertookmetoacircus（马戏团）.

•Whenonlythreeyearsold,Iwastakentoacircusbymyfather.

•WhenIwasonlythreeyearsold,myfathertookmetoacircus.

•6.Withoutshoes,thetoughstonecutthefeetofthehikers（徒步旅行者）.

•Thetoughstonecutthefeetofthebarefootedhikers.

•7.Attheageofsix,mygrandmotherdied.

•WhenIwassixyearsold,mygrandmotherdied.

•注意：

generallyspeaking,judgingby,considering（that）,totellthetruth,given（that）,speakingof,talkingabout,tostartwith,tomakemattersworse等已经固定地用作插入语，表示一般的行为，不表示句子中具体的动作，不属于垂悬修饰语。

Waystocorrect

•Makesureyoursentencemainsubjectistheoneyoumeantomodify,orclearlystatethelogicalsubjectofanymodifiers,suchas:

words,phrases,andclauses.

.

Homework:

Trytomakethefollowingpassagemoreconcise:

•Therobinpopulationwasaffectedindirectlyforonesimplereason:

thereasonwasthattheyateearthwormsthathadstoredDDTintheirbodies.Robinseatearthworms,earthwormsarepoisonedbyinsecticides,andtheinsecticidesareusedtokillbeetlesthatfeedonthebarkofelmtrees.Robinseatmanyearthwormsaday,andtheyeatasmanyasanearthwormaminute.Asfewaseleveninfectedearthwormscankilledarobinandcausethebirdtodie.

Thenwriteanessayabouttheaboveresource.

•Whatdoyoulearnfromtheabovestory?