Escape from Spiderhead.docx

Escape from Spiderhead.docx

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EscapefromSpiderhead

Fiction

EscapefromSpiderhead

byGeorgeSaundersDecember20,2010

“Dripon?

”AbnestisaidovertheP.A.

“What’sinit?

”Isaid.

“Hilarious,”hesaid.

“Acknowledge,”Isaid.

Abnestiusedhisremote.MyMobiPak™whirred.SoontheInteriorGardenlookedreallynice.Everythingseemedsuper-clear.

Isaidoutloud,asIwassupposedto,whatIwasfeeling.

“Gardenlooksnice,”Isaid.“Super-clear.”

Abnestisaid,“Jeff,howaboutwepepupthoselanguagecenters?

”

“Sure,”Isaid.

“Dripon?

”hesaid.

“Acknowledge,”Isaid.

HeaddedsomeVerbaluce™tothedrip,andsoonIwasfeelingthesamethingsbutsayingthembetter.Thegardenstilllookednice.Itwaslikethebushesweresotight-seemingandthesunmadeeverythingstandout?

ItwaslikeanymomentyouexpectedsomeVictorianstowanderinwiththeircupsoftea.Itwasasifthegardenhadbecomeasortofembodimentofthedomesticdreamsforeverintrinsictohumanconsciousness.ItwasasifIcouldsuddenlydiscern,inthiscontemporaryvignette,theancientcorollarythroughwhichPlatoandsomeofhiscontemporariesmighthavestrolled;towit,Iwassensingtheeternalintheephemeral.

Isat,pleasantlyengagedinthesethoughts,untiltheVerbaluce™begantowane.Atwhichpointthegardenjustlookedniceagain.Itwassomethingaboutthebushesandwhatnot?

Itmadeyoujustwanttolayoutthereandcatchraysandthinkyourhappythoughts.IfyougetwhatImean.

Thenwhateverelsewasinthedripworeoff,andIdidn’tfeelmuchaboutthegardenonewayortheother.Mymouthwasdry,though,andmyguthadthatpost-Verbaluce™feeltoit.

“What’sgoingtobecoolaboutthatone?

”Abnestisaid.“Is,sayaguyhastostayuplateguardingaperimeter.Orisatschoolwaitingforhiskidandgetsbored.Butthere’ssomenaturenearby?

Orsayaparkrangerhastoworkadoubleshift?

”

“Thatwillbecool,”Isaid.

“That’sED763,”hesaid.“We’rethinkingofcallingitNatuGlide.OrmaybeErthAdmire.”

“Thosearebothgood,”Isaid.

“Thanksforyourhelp,Jeff,”hesaid.

Whichwaswhathealwayssaid.

“Onlyamillionyearstogo,”Isaid.

WhichwaswhatIalwayssaid.

Thenhesaid,“ExittheInteriorGardennow,Jeff,headovertoSmallWorkroom2.”

II

IntoSmallWorkroom2theysentthispaletallgirl.

“Whatdoyouthink?

”AbnestisaidovertheP.A.

“Me?

”Isaid.“Orher?

”

“Both,”Abnestisaid.

“Prettygood,”Isaid.

“Fine,youknow,”shesaid.“Normal.”

Abnestiaskedustorateeachothermorequantifiably,asperpretty,aspersexy.

Itappearedwelikedeachotheraboutaverage,i.e.,nobigattractionorrevulsioneitherway.

Abnestisaid,“Jeff,dripon?

”

“Acknowledge,”Isaid.

“Heather,dripon?

”hesaid.

“Acknowledge,”Heathersaid.

Thenwelookedateachotherlike,Whathappensnext?

Whathappenednextwas,Heathersoonlookedsuper-good.AndIcouldtellshethoughtthesameofme.Itcameonsosuddenwewerelikelaughing.Howcouldwenothaveseenit,howcutetheotheronewas?

LuckilytherewasacouchintheWorkroom.Itfeltlikeourdriphad,inadditiontowhatevertheyweretesting,someED556init,whichlowersyourshameleveltolikenil.Becausesoon,thereonthecouch,offwewent.Itwassuper-hotbetweenus.Andnotmerelyinahorndogway.Hot,yes,butalsojustright.Likeifyou’ddreamedofacertaingirlallyourlifeandallofasuddenthereshewas,inyourDomain.

“Jeff,”Abnestisaid.“I’dlikeyourpermissiontopepupyourlanguagecenters.”

“Goforit,”Isaid,underhernow.

“Dripon?

”hesaid.

“Acknowledge,”Isaid.

“Me,too?

”Heathersaid.

“Yougotit,”Abnestisaid,withalaugh.“Dripon?

”

“Acknowledge,”shesaid,allbreathless.

Soon,experiencingthebenefitsoftheflowingVerbaluce™inourdrips,wewerenotonlyfuckingreallywellbutalsotalkingprettygreat.Like,insteadofjustsayingthesex-typethingswehadbeensaying（suchas“wow”and“ohGod”and“hellyes”andsoforth）,wenowbeganfreestylingreoursensationsandthoughts,inelevateddiction,witheighty-per-centincreasedvocab,ourwell-articulatedthoughtsbeingrecordedforlateranalysis.

Forme,thefeelingwas,approximately:

Astonishmentatthedawningrealizationthatthiswomanwasbeingcreatedinrealtime,directlyfrommyownmind,permydeepestlongings.Finally,afteralltheseyears（wasmythought）,Ihadfoundtheprecisearrangementofbody/face/mindthatpersonifiedallthatwasdesirable.Thetasteofhermouth,thelookofthathaloofblondishhairspreadoutaroundhercherubicyetnaughty-lookingface（shewasbeneathmenow,legswayup）,even（nottobecrudeordishonortheexaltedfeelingsIwasexperiencing）thesensationshervaginawasproducingalongthelengthofmythrustingpeniswerepreciselythoseIhadalwayshungeredfor,thoughIhadnever,beforethisinstant,realizedthatIsoardentlyhungeredforthem.

Thatistosay:

adesirewouldariseand,concurrently,thesatisfactionofthatdesirewouldalsoarise.Itwasasif（a）Ilongedforacertain（heretoforeuntasted）tasteuntil（b）saidlongingbecamenearlyunbearable,atwhichtime（c）Ifoundamorseloffoodwiththatexacttastealreadyinmymouth,perfectlysatisfyingmylonging.

Everyutterance,everyadjustmentofposturebespokethesamething:

wehadknowneachotherforever,weresoulmates,hadmetandlovedinnumerousprecedinglifetimes,andwouldmeetandloveinmanysubsequentlifetimes,alwayswiththesametranscendentlystupefyingresults.

Thentherecameahard-to-describebutveryrealdrifting-offintoanumberofsequentialreveriesthatmightbestbedescribedasatypeofnonnarrativemindscenery,i.e.,aseriesofvaguementalimagesofplacesIhadneverbeen（acertainpine-packedvalleyinhighwhitemountains,achalet-typehouseinacul-de-sac,theyardofwhichwasovergrownwithwide,stuntedSeussiantrees）,eachofwhichtriggeredadeepsentimentallonging,longingsthatcoalescedinto,andweresoonreducedto,onecentrallonging,i.e.,anintenselongingforHeatherandHeatheralone.

Thismind-sceneryphenomenonwasstrongestduringourthird（!

）boutoflovemaking.（Apparently,AbnestihadincludedsomeVivistif™inmydrip.）

Afterward,ourprotestationsoflovepouredforthsimultaneously,linguisticallycomplexandmetaphoricallyrich:

Idaresaywehadbecomepoets.Wewereallowedtoliethere,limbsintermingled,fornearlyanhour.Itwasbliss.Itwasperfection.Itwasthatimpossiblething:

happinessthatdoesnotwilttorevealthethinshootsofsomenewdesirerisingfromwithinit.

Wecuddledwithafierceness/focusthatrivalledthefierceness/focuswithwhichwehadfucked.Therewasnothinglessaboutcuddlingvis-à-visfucking,iswhatImeantosay.Wewereallovereachotherinthesuper-friendlywayofpuppies,orspousesmeetingforthefirsttimeafteroneofthemhasundergoneaclosebrushwithdeath.Everythingseemedmoist,permeable,sayable.

Thensomethinginthedripbegantowane.IthinkAbnestihadshutofftheVerbaluce™?

Alsotheshamereducer?

Basically,everythingbegantodwindle.Suddenlywefeltshy.Butstillloving.WebegantheprocessoftryingtotalkaprèsVerbaluce™:

alwaysawkward.

YetIcouldseeinhereyesthatshewasstillfeelingloveforme.

AndIwasdefinitelystillfeelingloveforher.

Well,whynot?

Wehadjustfuckedthreetimes!

Whydoyouthinktheycallit“makinglove”?

Thatwaswhatwehadjustmadethreetimes:

love.

ThenAbnestisaid,“Dripon?

”

Wehadkindofforgottenhewaseventhere,behindhisone-waymirror.

Isaid,“Dowehaveto?

Wearereallylikingthisrightnow.”

“We’rejustgoingtotrytogetyouguysbacktobaseline,”hesaid.“We’vegotmoretodotoday.”

“Shit,”Isaid.

“Rats,”shesaid.

“Dripon?

”hesaid.

“Acknowledge,”wesaid.

Soonsomethingbegantochange.Imean,shewasfine.Ahandsomepalegirl.Butnothingspecial.AndIcouldseethatshefeltthesamereme,i.e.,whathadallthatfussbeenaboutjustnow?

Whyweren’twedressed?

Werealquickgotdressed.

Kindofembarrassing.

DidIloveher?

Didsheloveme?

Ha.

No.

Thenitwastimeforhertogo.Weshookhands.

Outshewent.

Lunchcamein.Onatray.Spaghettiwithchickenchunks.

Man,wasIhungry.

Ispentalllunchtimethinking.Itwasweird.IhadthememoryoffuckingHeather,thememoryofhavingfeltthethingsI’dfeltforher,thememoryofhavingsaidthethingsI’dsaidtoher.MythroatwaslikerawfromhowmuchI’dsaidandhowfastI’dfeltcompelledtosayit.Butintermsoffeelings?

Ibasicallyhadnadaleft.

JustahotfaceandsomeshamerehavingfuckedthreetimesinfrontofAbnesti.

III

Afterlunchincameanothergirl.

Aboutequallyso-so.Darkhair.Averagebuild.Nothingspecial,justlike,uponfirstentry,Heatherhadbeennothingspecial.

“ThisisRachel,”AbnestisaidontheP.A.“ThisisJeff.”

“Hi,Rachel,”Isaid.

“Hi,Jeff,”shesaid.

“Dripon?

”Abnestisaid.

WeAcknowledged.

SomethingseemedveryfamiliaraboutthewayInowbeganfeeling.SuddenlyRachellookedsuper-good.AbnestirequestedpermissiontopepupourlanguagecentersviaVerbaluce™.WeAcknowledged.Soonwe,too,werefuckinglikebunnies.Soonwe,too,weretalkinglikearticulatemaniacsreourlove.Onceagaincertainsensationswerearisingtomeetmyconcurrentlyarisingdesperatehungerforjustthosesensations.SoonmymemoryoftheperfecttasteofHeather’smouthwasbeingoverwrittenbythecurrenttasteofRachel’smouth,somuchmorethetasteInowdesired.Iwasfeelingunprecedentedemotions,eventhoughthoseunprecedentedemotionswere（Idiscernedsomewhereinmyconsciousness）exactlythesameemotionsIhadfeltearlier,forthatnowunworthy-seemingvesselHeather.R