老友记第一季01剧本.docx
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老友记第一季01剧本
老友记第一季01剧本
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《Friends》剧本(第一季)
101The OneWhereMonica GetsaNewRoommate (ThePilot-TheUncutVersion)
[Scene:
CentralPerk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe,and Monicaare there.]
Monica:
There'snothingtotell!
He's justsomeguy Iworkwith!
没什么好说的!
他不过是我的同事!
Joey:
C'mon,you'regoing outwiththe guy!
There'sgottabesomething wrongwith him!
少来了,你和那个人一起出去!
和你交往的男人一定有问题!
Chandler:
Allright Joey,benice. Sodoeshehaveahump?
Ahumpanda hairpiece?
打住,乔伊,最下留德。
他驼背?
即驼背又戴假发?
Phoebe:
Wait, doesheeat chalk?
慢着,他吃粉笔吗?
(Theyallstare,bemused.)
Phoebe:
Just, 'cause,I don't want her togothroughwhatI went throughwithCarl- oh!
我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙
Monica:
Okay,everybodyrelax.This isnotevenadate.It'sjusttwo peoplegoing outtodinner and- not havingsex.
各位别急,这不算是约会。
我们不过是出去一起吃晚餐,而不是做爱。
Chandler:
Soundslikeadateto me.
听起来像是说我的约会。
[TimeLapse]
Chandler:
Alright,soI'm backinhighschool, I'mstandinginthe middle of thecafeteria,andI realizeIam totally naked.
记得中学时代的梦,我站在自助餐厅, 突然发现自己全身赤裸。
All:
Oh,yeah.Hadthatdream.
我做过那样的梦。
Chandler:
ThenIlookdown,andIrealizethere's aphone...there.
我低头一看,看见有一支电话……在那儿。
Joey:
Insteadof...?
而不是……?
Chandler:
That'sright.
没错。
Joey:
Neverhad thatdream.
我没做过那样的梦
Phoebe:
No.
没有
Chandler:
Allofasudden,thephonestarts to ring.NowI don't knowwhatto do, everybodystartslookingatme.
那支电话突然响起,而我不知道怎么办,每个人都开始望着我。
Monica:
Andtheyweren'tlookingatyou before?
!
他们以前不看你吗?
Chandler:
Finally, IfigureI'dbetteranswerit, andit turnsoutit's my mother,whichisvery-very weird,because- shenever calls me!
结果是我妈打来,我感到很奇怪,因为我妈不曾打过电话给我!
[TimeLapse,Ross hasentered.]
Ross:
(mortified)Hi.
嗨
Joey:
Thisguysayshello,Iwannakillmyself.
这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀。
Monica:
Areyouokay,sweetie?
你还好吧?
Ross:
Ijustfeellikesomeonereacheddownmythroat,grabbed mysmallintestine,pulled itoutofmymouthandtied itaround my neck...
我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙抓起我的肠子, 从我的口中取出, 然后绑在我脖子上……
Chandler:
Cookie?
要饼干吗?
Monica:
(explainingtotheothers)Carol moved herstuff outtoday.
卡罗今天把她的东西搬走了
Joey:
Ohh.
Monica:
(toRoss)Let me getyousomecoffee.
我帮你泡杯咖啡,谢了。
Ross:
Thanks.
Phoebe:
Ooh!
Oh!
(She startstopluckattheairjust infrontofRoss.)
Ross:
No,no don't!
Stopcleansing myaura!
No, justleavemy aura alone,okay?
不要……别清理我的灵气。
可是……别碰我的灵气就是了。
Phoebe:
Fine!
Be murky!
好,继续痛苦吧
Ross:
I'llbefine,alright?
Really,everyone. Ihopeshe'llbe veryhappy.
没有!
!
行了吧?
!
真的,各位,我希望她开心
Monica:
Noyou don't.
不,你并不希望
Ross:
NoI don't, to hellwithher,she left me!
是的,我不希望!
去她的,她离开了我!
Joey:
And younever knewshewasalesbian...
而且你一直都不知道她是女同性恋者。
Ross:
No!
!
Okay?
!
Why doeseveryonekeepfixating on that?
Shedidn'tknow,howshouldIknow?
不知道!
行了吧!
为什么每个人都提它?
她都不知道,我怎么会知道?
Chandler:
SometimesIwish Iwasalesbian...(They allstare athim.)DidIsaythat out loud?
有时候我希望自己是个同性恋……我大声说出来了?
Ross:
I toldmom anddadlastnight,they seemedtotakeitprettywell.
我昨天晚上给我父母说了,他们好像没有什么
Monica:
Ohreally, so thathystericalphone callIgotfrom a womanatsobbing3:
00A.M.,"I'llneverhavegrandchildren,I'llneverhavegrandchildren."was what?
Awrongnumber?
真的吗,凌晨三点我接到一个电话, 一个女人歇斯底里的向我哭诉,
“我不能抱孙子了,我不能抱孙子了。
” 那是什么?
打错了
Ross:
Sorry.
对不起
Joey:
AlrightRoss,look.You'refeelingalot ofpainrightnow. You'reangry.You'rehurting. CanItell youwhattheansweris?
没事的,罗斯,瞧,你现在感到很痛苦。
你很生气,你很伤心,我告诉你答案是什么?
(Rossgestureshisconsent.)
Joey:
Stripjoint!
C'mon,you're single!
Havesomehormones!
脱衣舞酒店。
你单身,有性需求。
Ross:
Idon'twant tobe single,okay?
I just...I just-Ijustwannabemarried again!
我不想单身的。
我只想再结婚。
(Rachel entersinawetweddingdressandstarts tosearchtheroom.)
Chandler:
AndI justwantamilliondollars!
(Heextends hishand hopefully.)
我只想要一百万!
Monica:
Rachel?
!
瑞秋?
Rachel:
Oh God Monicahi!
ThankGod!
Ijustwenttoyourbuildingandyouweren'tthereandthenthisguywithabighammersaidyoumightbehereandyouare,youare!
天啊,莫妮卡,谢天谢地。
我到过你的住处,你不在。
有个拿着一根大榔头的人说你可能会在这儿, 结果你真的在这儿。
Waitress:
CanIgetyousome coffee?
想来杯咖啡吗?
Monica:
(pointingatRachel)De-caff.(toAll)Okay,everybody, this isRachel,anotherLincolnHighsurvivor.(to Rachel)This iseverybody,this is Chandler,andPhoebe,andJoey,and-you remembermybrotherRoss?
想来杯咖啡吗?
无咖啡因的。
各位,她叫瑞秋,另一位从林肯高中生存下来的人。
这位叫钱德勒, 菲比,乔伊。
还记得我哥罗斯吗?
Rachel:
Hi,sure!
当然。
Ross:
Hi.
嗨
(Theygo tohugbut Ross's umbrellaopens. Hesitsbackdowndefeatedagain. AmomentofsilencefollowsasRachelsitsandtheothersexpecther toexplain.)
Monica:
So you wannatellusnow,orarewewaitingforfourwetbridesmaids?
你想现在告诉我们,还是等伴娘来再说?
Rachel:
Oh God...well,itstartedaboutahalfhourbeforethewedding.Iwasintheroomwherewewerekeeping allthepresents,andIwaslooking atthisgravyboat.ThisreallygorgeousLamaugegravyboat.Whenallofasudden-(tothewaitressthatbroughthercoffee)Sweet'n' Lo?
-IrealizedthatIwas moreturnedonbythisgravyboat than byBarry!
AndthenI gotreally freakedout,and that'swhenithitme:
howmuchBarrylooks likeMr.PotatoHead.Y'know,Imean,Ialwaysknewlookedfamiliar, but...Anyway,Ijust hadtogetoutofthere,andIstartedwondering'WhyamIdoing this, andwho amIdoingthisfor?
'.(toMonica)SoanywayI justdidn'tknowwheretogo, andIknowthat youand I havekindadriftedapart, but you'retheonlyperson I knewwholivedhereinthecity.
婚礼前半个小时发生了变数。
我在堆放礼物的房间里,看着船形卤肉盘,非常漂后的船形卤肉盘,突然间…… 有没有代糖?
我了解船形卤肉盘此巴瑞更能引起我的“性趣” 我自己都吓了一跳,巴瑞愈看愈像猪头先生。
我一直都认为他很眼熟。
总之,我必须离开。
我开始想, ]我为何这么做?
我为谁这样做?
于是我不知该走往何处, 我知道你我日渐疏远。
但是你是我在这个城市,认识的唯一一个人。
Monica:
Whowasn'tinvitedtothewedding.
好像是唯一没受邀参加婚礼的人。
Rachel:
Ooh, I waskindahopingthatwouldn'tbeanissue...[Scene:
Monica's Apartment,everyone is thereand watchingaSpanish SoaponTVandaretryingtofigureoutwhatisgoingon.]
这件事就甭提啦。
Monica:
NowI'mguessingthat heboughtherthebigpipe organ,andshe'sreallynothappy aboutit.
我猜他送她一台管风琴,她肯定不喜欢。
Chandler:
(imitatingthecharacters)Tunaoreggsalad?
Decide!
金枪鱼还是鸡蛋沙拉?
快决定!
Ross:
(inadeep voice)I'llhavewhateverChristine ishaving.
克里斯吃什么我就吃什么
Rachel:
(onphone)Daddy,Ijust... Ican'tmarryhim!
I'msorry.Ijustdon'tlove him.Well,itmatterstome!
爸,我不能嫁给他……对不起,我只是不爱他。
对,是我的问题!
(Thescene onTVhaschangedto show twowomen,one isholdingherhair.)
Phoebe:
IfIletgo ofmyhair,myheadwillfalloff.
如果我没了头发,还不如去死。
Chandler:
(reTV)Ooh,she shouldnotbewearingthose pants.
她不该穿那条裤子
Joey:
Isay pushherdownthe stairs.
我建议推她下楼
Phoebe, Ross,Chandler,andJoey:
Push her downthestairs!
Push her downthestairs!
Pushherdown thestairs!
推她下楼!
推她下楼!
推她下楼!
(Sheis pusheddown the stairsand everyone cheers.)
Rachel:
C'monDaddy, listento me!
It'slike,it'slike, allofmylife, everyone hasalwaystoldme,'You'reashoe!
You're ashoe,you'rea shoe,you're a shoe!
'.And todayI juststoppedandIsaid,'WhatifIdon'twannabeashoe?
What ifIwanna bea-apurse, y'know?
Ora- orahat!
No, I'mnotsayingI wantyouto buymeahat,I'msayingI amaha-It'sametaphor,Daddy!
爸,你听我说……大家这样评价我这一辈子:
你是一只鞋……
今天我倒想看看如果我不再是鞋会怎样。
我说如果我想当皮包呢?
或是帽子呢?
不,我不需你帮我买帽子。
我说我是一顶帽子。
爸,这是一种比喻。
Ross:
You can seewhere he'dhave trouble.
你看他有些问题
Rachel:
Look Daddy,it's mylife. WellmaybeI'lljuststayherewithMonica.
爸,这是我的人生。
或许我会和莫妮卡住在这儿。
Monica:
Well,Iguess we'veestablishedwho's stayingherewithMonica...
我想我们已经决定好谁将和莫妮卡住在这儿
Rachel:
Well, maybethat's mydecision.Well,maybeIdon't needyour money.Wait!
!
Wait,Isaidmaybe!
!
或许那是我的决定。
或许我不希罕你的钱。
等一下,等一下……我说的是或许!
!
[TimeLapse, Rachelisbreating intoa paperbag.]
Monica:
Justbreathe,breathe.. that'sit.Just try to thinkofnice calmthings...
深呼吸,就这样。
试着想着美好的事物……
Phoebe:
(sings)Raindropsonroses andrabbitsandkittens,(Racheland Monicaturntolookat her.) bluebellsand sleighbells and-somethingwithmittens... Lala la la...somethingandnoodleswithstring. Theseareafew...
玫瑰上的雨滴, 猫嘴上的胡须,门铃和雪橇之类的。
啦 啦啦……还有手套……
Rachel:
I'mall betternow.
我现在好多了
Phoebe:
(grinsandwalkstothekitchenand saysto Chandlerand Joey.)Ihelped!
我帮上忙了
Monica:
Okay, look,thisisprobably forthebest,y'know?
Independence. Takingcontrol ofyourlife. Thewhole,'hat'thing.
或许这样最好,独立了,把握自己的生活,就像你说的帽子的事情
Joey:
(comfortingher)Andhey,youneed anything, you canalwayscome toJoey.MeandChandlerliveacrossthehall.Andhe's awayalot.
有任何需要找乔伊准没错。
我和钱德勒就住在对面,而且他经常不在家。
Monica:
Joey,stophittingonher!
It'sherweddingday!
乔伊,少趁虚而入了,今天是她大喜的日子
Joey:
What,likethere'saruleorsomething?
什么?
有规定不能吗?
(Thedoor buzzer soundsand Chandlergetsit.)
Chandler:
Pleasedon'tdothat again, it'sahorriblesound.
请不要在这样,声音很刺耳
Paul:
(overtheintercom)It's,uh,it'sPaul.
我是保罗
Monica:
OhGod,isit6:
30?
Buzzhimin!
天啊,6:
30了吗?
让他进来!
Joey:
Who'sPaul?
谁是保罗?
Ross:
PaultheWineGuy,Paul?
调酒的保罗?
Monica:
Maybe.Joey:
Wait.Your'not areal date'tonightiswithPaul theWineGuy?
或许吧。
等等,你今晚该不是真的要和调酒的那个保罗约会吧?
Ross:
Hefinally askedyouout?
他终于开口了。
Monica:
Yes!
是的
Chandler:
Ooh,thisisaDear Diarymoment.
终于被你等到了
Monica:
Rach,wait,Icancancel...
瑞秋,等等,我可以取消
Rachel:
Please,no, go,that'd befine!
不用了,你去吧,我不会有事的
Monica:
(to Ross)Are, areyouokay?
I mean,doyouwantmetostay?
真的没事吗?
你要我留下来吗?
Ross:
(chokedvoice)That'dbegood...
那样最好
Monica:
(horrified)Really?
真的吗?
Ross:
(normalvoice)No,go