绝望的主妇604剧本.docx

绝望的主妇604剧本.docx

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绝望的主妇604剧本

DesperateHousewives

6X04TheGod-Why-Don’t-You-Love-MeBlues

OriginalAirdateonABC:

October18,2009

------------------------------------------------------------

MaryAliceVoiceover:

PreviouslyonDesperateHousewives…

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Aproposalwasmade...

John:

Yourniececametomyrestaurant,askedmeforahostessingjob.

Mike:

I'msorry.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

…anotherwasbroken.

Mike:

Oh,Katherine,youdon'thaveto...

Katherine:

Mike,please.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Asecretwaskept...

Tom:

Carlosisgonnafindoutaboutthisthingeventually.

Lynette:

Bythen,IwillhaveprovedIcandothejob,pregnantornot.

Dr.Hill:

She'sstillunconscious.I'dliketorunsometests.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

…anotherrevealed...

Lynette:

Julie'spregnant.

------------------------------------------------------------

[Bree’stestkitchen]

MaryAliceVoiceover:

BreeVandeKampwashavinganaffair.Andwheneverherlovercalled..."Doneearly.Meetme@motel@noon.Karl"…sheneededanexcusetoleaveworkearly.

Bree:

I'mofftothejeweler's.Gottagetmypearlsrestrung.

Bree:

I'mofftothesalon.Gottakeepthisredhairred.

Bree:

Ihavetovisitmyaunthinthehospital.Shehasshingles.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Butonthisparticularday,Breewassurprisedtofindherworkhadbeendoneforher.

Katherine:

Morning!

Bree:

Katherine,it'sbarely9:

00.Howlonghaveyoubeencooking?

Katherine:

Oh,Idon'tknow.Since3:

00?

4:

00?

Bree:

Youdon'tneedtodothiswholeluncheonbyyourself.

Katherine:

Well,Idon'tmind.WhenI'mhappy,Ihaveallthisexcessenergy.Gottachannelitsomewhere.

Bree:

Oh,youmustbeprettydarnhappy.Anyparticularreason?

Katherine:

Isn'titobvious?

I'minlove.

Bree:

That'swonderful!

Whydidn'tyoutellmeyouwereseeingsomeone?

Youknowwhat?

Itdoesn'tmatter.Themainthingisyou'refinallyoverMike.

Katherine:

I'mnotoverMike.

Bree:

You'renot?

Katherine:

No,silly.Who'dyouthinkIwasinlovewith?

Bree:

ButMikejustmarriedSusan.

Katherine:

Oh,honey.Theirfirstmarriagewentdowninflames.Thisone'sgonnacrashevenfaster.They'renotevensleepingtogether.

Bree:

Whatmakesyousaythat?

Katherine:

Lastnight,thelightintheirupstairsdenwasonat3:

00A.M.

Bree:

Thatdoesn'tmeananything.MaybeSusanwantedtoreadwithoutwakinghim.

Katherine:

No.Mikemadeamistakeandheknowsit.He'sjustwaitingforJulietofeelbetter,andthenhe'lldumpSusanandbegmetotakehimback.So...grabanapron.Westillhavedesserttomake.I'mthinkingtartetatin.It'sMike'sfavorite.We'llmakeanextraoneforhim.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

PoorBree.Shewantedtohelpherfriend.Butshedidn'thavetimetodealwithKatherine'simaginarylover...

Thephonetext:

“Bree…areyoucoming?

Karl”

Bree:

Ihaveateethcleaning,soIwon'tbeabletohelpyou.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

…notwhenshehadarealone.

------------------------------------------------------------

[OpeningCredits]

------------------------------------------------------------

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Youwouldn'tknowittolookathim,butthatnicemanwhodeliversyourmailhitshiswife.You'dneverguessbyhersmile,butthatnicewomanacrossthestreetembezzlesfromherboss.Andthatattractivecouplewhojogsbyeverymorning?

Well,theyliketheircocaine.Thesadtruthis,wedon'tknowourfriendsandneighborsnearlyaswellaswethinkwedo.Eventhepeoplewelove...keepsecrets.

[Nick’shouse]

Nick:

Needcoffee.

Angie:

Well,thisisn'thelpingyougetyourcoffee.

Nick:

Whatever.It'swakin'meup.Hey,bud.Hey,whatareyoustilldoin'home?

Ithoughtyouhadamorningclass.

Danny:

Actually,I'mthinkingaboutquittingschool.

Nick:

What?

Danny:

Yeah.IthoughtImightgetajob.

Angie:

Danny,ourfamily'sbeeninthiscountryfivegenerations.It'stimeoneofusgotadiploma.Okay,what'sgoingon?

Talktome.

Danny:

Noonetalkstomeatschool,noonesitsnearme,andeverybodythinksI'mthepervwhoattackedJulie.

Angie:

Look,thisisatemporarything.Thepolicearegonnacatchthisguy,andeveryonewillknowyouareinnocent.

Danny:

Yeah,butmeanwhile,I'mthecampusfreak.

Angie:

Baby,domeafavor.Let'stalkaboutthislater.Ifyougotoschooltoday,we'llfiguresomethingoutwhenyougethome,okay?

Danny:

Okay.

Angie:

Okay.

Nick:

Whyyoubeingsonicetohim?

Thereisnowaywearelettin'himdropoutofschool.

Angie:

Iknowthat,butwehavetobecarefulhere.YouknowDanny--whenhegetsunhappy,hegetssloppy,saysallsortsofthingsheshouldn't.

Nick:

Okay.Sonowallwe'vegottadoisfigureouthowtomakeateenagerhappy.

------------------------------------------------------------

[Lynette’shouse]

Lynette:

Damnit!

Tom:

What'sthematter?

Lynette:

Oh.Nothingfits.Mybreastshavegottenhuge.

Tom:

Oh,yeah.

Lynette:

Ihateitwhenthathappens.EverytimeI'mpregnant--secondtrimesterlikeclockwork.Whyareyousmiling?

Tom:

Whydoyouthink?

"TheSupremes"areback.

Lynette:

WhatdidItellyouaboutnamingthemaftermusicalgroups?

Tom:

Iknow.It'sjustthat"Bennyandthejets"aresohappytosee'em.

Lynette:

Thisisserious.IhavetohidethesethingsatworksoCarlosdoesn'tfindoutI'mpregnant.WhatamIgonnadowithyouguys?

Tom:

Igotsomeideas.

Lynette:

Hey,hey,Igotameeting.

Tom:

Wait,but--hereonlylikethisfortwoweeksuntiltheygetallsore,andyougivemethat"don'ttouchme"look.

Lynette:

Okay.Good-bye,Tom.

Tom:

Oh,comeon.No,Lynette,comeon.Callinsick.Kidsgetsnowdays.Wecouldcallitaboobday.Okay,itiswaytooearlyforthe"don'ttouchme"look.

------------------------------------------------------------

[Gabrielle’shouse]

Gabrielle:

（onphone）SoIwaitedaroundallmorning,Carlos,forthatrepairmanthatyoutoldmetocall,andhenevershowed.No,I'mnotdone.I'msharingmydaywithyou.Thenyourchildrentookmy$300perfumeandgavetheirdollsabath.Yes,Ispent$300onperfume.Butyou'remissingthepoint!

Oh,really?

Youdon'tlikeitwhenIyell?

Well,howaboutthis?

Ihavetakencareofyourdemonspawnchildrenfor12hours.Myshiftisover.

[OutsideGabrielle’shouse]

John:

So,you,uh,havingfunworkingattherestaurant?

Ana:

I'mhavingfunworkingwithyou.

Gabrielle:

Lookwho'shere.

John:

Hi,Gabrielle.

Gabrielle:

Iwastalkingtoher.So...IthoughtIwasgonnapickyouup.

Ana:

Johnofferedtogivemearide.

John:

AndIappreciatedthecompany.

Gabrielle:

Okay,timetogoinside.Someone'sgothomework.

Ana:

Bye.

John:

Night.

Gabrielle:

Yourememberhomework,John--thatthingthatkidsinhighschoolhavetodo?

John:

Irememberit.Ithinkyouusedtohelpmewithmine.

Gabrielle:

Whatareyoudoingwithher,John?

John:

Itakecareofmyemployees.

Gabrielle:

Really?

Doyoudrivethebusboyshome,too?

Iwillpickherupfromnowon.

John:

Comeon.

------------------------------------------------------------

[Hospital–Julie’sward]

Andrew:

Heythere.How'sshedoing?

Susan:

Muchbetter.Thedoctorsaystheswellinginherbrainhassubsidedandshecouldcometoatanymoment.

Andrew:

Well,that'sterrific.

Susan:

Julie,youshouldseetheflowersAndrewbroughtyou.They'regorgeous.

Andrew:

It'stheleastIcoulddo.JulieknowshowIfeelabouther.Don'tyou,Jules?

Susan:

Ilovethatyoutwohavestayedfriendsalltheseyears.

Andrew:

Yeah,well,we--wekindoflosttouchwhenshewasinmedschool,but--buteversinceshequit...Imean,wetalkallthetime.

Susan:

Shequitmedschool?

Andrew:

I-Ithoughtshetoldyou.Itwassixmonthsago.

Susan:

She'sbeenoutofschoolforsixmonths?

Andrew:

（toJulie）Youaresoluckyyou'reinacomarightnow.

Susan:

Whathasshebeendoingallthistime?

Andrew:

Shedidn'tknowwhatshewantedtodowithherlife,sowhileshewasdeciding,shegotherselfajob...waitingtables.

Susan:

Didyoujustsay"waitingtables"?

Andrew:

Ithoughtshe...

Susan:

Toldme?

Yeah,no,shedidn't.Thisisunreal.Yesterday,IfoundoutJuliethoughtshewaspregnant.AndnowI'mfindingoutthatmydaughterthesurgeonisactuallymydaughterthe...waitress.I'mgonnaneedamoment.

Andrew:

Takeyourtime.I'll--I'lljust...

Susan:

Wait!

Theguy.

Andrew:

Whatguy?

Susan:

Juliewasseeingsomeguy.Youtwotalkallthetime.Whatdoyouknow?

Andrew:

（toJulie）Nowwouldbeanexcellenttimetowakeupandhelpme.

Susan:

Andrew,whoishe?

Hemaybetheonethatattackedher.

Andrew:

AllIknowistherewasaguy,butI-I-Idon'tknowhisname.

Susan:

Oh,please.Whywouldshetellyoushewasseeingsomeoneandnotsaywho?

Andrew:

Becausehe'smarried.

------------------------------------------------------------

[Gabrielle’shouse]

Gabrielle:

Whatyougotthere?

Juanita:

Mints.

Gabrielle:

Mints?

Mintsthatare..."ribbedforherpleasure"?

Juanita:

Yeah,wefoundawholeboxofthemunderAna'sbed.

Gabrielle:

Ana!

Juanita:

CanIhaveonebeforedinner?

Gabrielle:

No!

No,youcan'teatthese!

Juanita:

Thesearen'tmints.

Gabrielle:

They're...balloons.

Celia:

Yay!

Gabrielle:

Grownupballoons.

Juanita:

Doyouanddaddyplaywiththem?

Gabrielle:

Ifwedid,youandIwouldn'tbehavingthisconversation.

[Ana’sroom]

Ana:

Niceknock.

Gabrielle:

Whatarethese?

Ana:

Well,thosearecondoms.Yousee,whenaboyandagirllikeeachother--

Gabrielle:

Shutit.JuanitaandCeliafoundtheseunderyourbed.

Ana:

Okay,Iwantalockonmydoor.

Gabrielle:

I'vegotnewsforyou.Thatisnotwherethelockisgonnago.

Ana:

Thisisreallynoneofyourbusiness.

Gabrielle:

Sorry.17pluscondoms?

Totallymybusiness.

Ana:

What'sthestory?

Gabrielle:

AreyousleepingwithJohnRowland?

Ana:

AuntGaby,he'smyboss.

Gabrielle:

An