生活大爆炸英文剧本第二季1112.docx

生活大爆炸英文剧本第二季1112.docx

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生活大爆炸英文剧本第二季1112

Scriptcompiledby

www.big-bang-forum.de

THEaddressforgeeksand„TheBigBangTheory“fans!

THEBIGBANGTHEORY

by

ChuckLorre&BillPrady

Season2,Episode11（s02e11）

Title:

TheBathItemGiftHypothesis

--->Dialogonly<---

SHELDON

Yourargumentislackinginallscientificmerit.Anditiswell-establishedSupermancleanshisuniformbyflyingintoEarth'syellowsun,whichincineratesanycontaminatematterandleavestheinvulnerableKryptonianfabricunharmedanddaisyfresh.

HOWARD

WhatifhegetssomethingKryptonianonit?

SHELDON

Likewhat?

HOWARD

Idon'tknow.Kryptonianmustard.

SHELDON

IthinkwecansafelyassumethatallKryptoniancondimentsweredestroyedwhentheplanetKryptonexploded.

RAJESH

OritturnedintomustardKryptonite,theonlywaytodestroyarogueKryptonianhotdogthreateningEarth.

LEONARD

Raj,please,let'sstayserioushere.Superman'sbodyisKryptonian,thereforehissweatisKryptonian.

HOWARD

Yeah,whataboutKryptonianpitstains?

SHELDON

Supermandoesn'tsweatonEarth.

HOWARD

Okay.He'sinvitedfordinnerintheBottleCityofKandor.Heminiaturizeshimself,entersthecitywhereheloseshissuper-powers.Now,beforedinner,hishostsays,„Who'supforalittleKryptoniantetherball?

“Supermansays,„Sure,“worksupasweat,comesbacktoEarth,hisuniformnowstainedwithindestructibleKryptonianperspiration.

RAJESH

Booyah.

SHELDON

SupermanwouldhavetakenhisuniformtoaKandoriandry-cleanerbeforehelefttheBottle.

RAJESH

Kandoriandry-cl...?

Igiveup.Youcan'thavearationalargumentwiththisman.

HOWARD

Hey,isn'tthattheguywhowontheMacArthurgeniusgrantlastyear?

No,notallatonce.

RAJESH

Thenhow?

HOWARD

Leonard.NowRaj.NowSheldon.

RAJESH

Ididn'tgetagoodlook.CanIgoagain?

HOWARD

No.

LEONARD

It'sDavidUnderhill.Sowhat?

SHELDON

Sowhat?

Hisobservationofhigh-energypositronshasprovidedthefirstconclusiveevidencefortheexistenceofgalacticdarkmatter.

LEONARD

Ihavetwowordsforyou.Thefirstis„big,“theother's„whoop.“

SHELDON

Itisabigwhoop.Madealmostalltheworkyou'vedonesinceyou'vebeenherecompletelyuseless.

LEONARD

Didnot.

HOWARD

Didtoo.

LEONARD

Did...Okay,maybesomeofit.But...Look,theguywasjustintherightplace,attherighttimewiththerightparadigm-shiftingreinterpretationoftheuniverse.Hegotlucky.

RAJESH

Inmorewaysthanone.He'saveryhandsomeman.

HOWARD

Doesn'tdoanythingforme.IfIwasgonnagothatway,I'mmoreofaZacEfronkindaguy.

RAJESH

Oh,yeah.LikeyouhaveashotwithZacEfron.

DAVID

Excuseme.AreyouLeonardHofstadter?

LEONARD

Uh,yeah.

DAVID

I'mDavidUnderhill.

LEONARD

Uh,yeah.Heh,heh.

DAVID

Yeah,Dr.GablehausersaidifIwantedtosetsomethingupinthephotomultiplierlab,thatyou'dbeabletogivemeahand?

LEONARD

Youwannaworkwithme?

DAVID

Ifyouhavealittletime,yeah.

LEONARD

Wow.Yeah,sure.Yeah,noproblem.Um,here'smyhomenumber,here'smycell,here'smyoffice,here'smyparents'numberupinNewJersey.Theyalwaysknowhowtoreachme.

DAVID

Okay.

LEONARD

CongratulationsontheMacArthurgrant,bytheway.Bigfan.

DAVID

Thanks.I'llcallyou.

LEONARD

Okay.Bye-bye.Whatareyoulookingat?

You'veneverseenahypocritebefore?

=================================

===========THEMESONG==========

=================================

RAJESH

Trailingbadly,WolowitzneedsastrikeifhehasanyhopesofcatchingupwithSheldonCooper,whoisdominatingintheninthframewithacareer-best68.

LEONARD

Hey,guys.

HOWARD

Thatdoesn'tcount.Do-over,do-over.

SHELDON

Therearenodo-oversinWiibowling.

HOWARD

Therearealwaysdo-overswhenmypeopleplaysports.

SHELDON

Wherewereyouthat'smoreimportantthanWiibowlingnight?

LEONARD

Actually,Iwas...

SHELDON

It'sarhetoricalquestion.ThereisnothingmoreimportantthanWiibowlingnight.

LEONARD

Comeon,it'sjustavideogameandwesuckatit.

SHELDON

Nicemotivationalspeechfromtheteamcaptain.

HOWARD

Wherewereyou?

LEONARD

IwasworkingwithDaveUnderhill.

HOWARD

Ooh,„Dave.“SoundslikeLeonard'sgotanewBFF.

LEONARD

Actually,he'sprettycool.Imean,notonlyisheabrilliantscientist,butitturnsouthe'sablack-diamondskier,hecollectsvintagemotorcycles,heplaysinarockband.

HOWARD

So?

We'reinarockband.

LEONARD

No.Weplay„RockBand“onourXbox.

SHELDON

Nicemotivationalspeechfromourleadguitarist.

LEONARD

He'sfunnytoo.HedoesthishystericalimpersonationofStephenHawkinghavingphonesex.Whatareyouwearing?

That'snot...Hedoesitbetter.Anyway,hesaidhewasgonnatakemetothegymtomorrow,soI'mgonnagopracticemysitups.

RAJESH

Wow.Humongousmancrush,dude.

HOWARD

Yeah.It'sofficiallyabromance.

PENNY

Hey,Sheldon,areyouandLeonardputtingupaChristmastree?

SHELDON

No,becausewedon'tcelebratetheancientpaganfestivalofSaturnalia.

PENNY

Saturnalia?

HOWARD

Gatherround,kids.It'stimeforSheldon'sbelovedChristmasspecial.

SHELDON

Inthepre-Christianera,asthewintersolsticeapproachedandtheplantsdied,pagansbroughtevergreenboughsintotheirhomesasanactofsympatheticmagic,intendedtoguardthelifeessencesoftheplantsuntilspring.ThiscustomwaslaterappropriatedbyNorthernEuropeansandeventuallyitbecomestheso-calledChristmastree.

HOWARD

Andthat,CharlieBrown,iswhatboredomisallabout.

PENNY

Okay,well,thankyouforthat.ButIgotyouandLeonardafewsillyneighborgifts,soI'lljustputthemundermytree.

SHELDON

Wait.Youboughtmeapresent?

PENNY

Uh-huh.

SHELDON

Whywouldyoudosuchathing?

PENNY

Idon'tknow.'Causeit'sChristmas?

SHELDON

Oh,Penny.Iknowyouthinkyou'rebeinggenerous,butthefoundationofgift-givingisreciprocity.Youhaven'tgivenmeagift.You'vegivenmeanobligation.

HOWARD

Don'tfeelbad,Penny.It'saclassicrookiemistake.MyfirstHanukkahwithSheldon,heyelledatmeforeightnights.

PENNY

Now,hey,it'sokay.Youdon'thavetogetmeanythinginreturn.

SHELDON

OfcourseIdo.TheessenceofthecustomisthatInowhavetogooutandpurchaseforyouagiftofcommensuratevalueandrepresentingthesameperceivedleveloffriendshipasthatrepresentedbythegiftyou'vegivenme.It'snowondersuicideratesskyrocketthistimeofyear.

PENNY

Okay,youknowwhat,forgetit,I'mnotgivingyouapresent.

SHELDON

No,it'stoolate.Iseeit.Thatelfstickersays„ToSheldon.“Thediehasbeencast.Themovingfingerhaswrit.HannibalhascrossedtheAlps.

HOWARD

Iknow.It'sfunnywhenit'snothappeningtous.

PENNY

Sheldon,Iamvery,verysorry.

SHELDON

No,no.Ibroughtthisonmyselfbybeingsuchanendearingandimportantpartofyourlife.I'mgoingtoneedaridetothemall.

HOWARD

It'shappeningtous.

LEONARD

Ow.Ow.

DAVID

Areyougonnamakeit?

LEONARD

Yeah,Iguess.Thanksforlettingmetryoutyourmotorcycle.

DAVID

Noproblem.

LEONARD

Ihadnoideaitwassoheavy.Thingjustfellrightoveronme,didn'tit?

Heh.

DAVID

Yeah.Luckyforyouitwasn'tmoving.

PENNY

Oh,hey,Leonard.Ooh,areyouokay?

LEONARD

Oh,yeah.It'sjustalittlemotorcycleaccident.

PENNY

Oh,myGod.Howfastwereyougoing?

LEONARD

Idon'tknow.It'sallsuchablur.

DAVID

Goodone.Hecouldn'tevengetitstarted.Hi.Dave.

PENNY

Hi.Penny.Soit'syourmotorcycle?

DAVID

Uh-huh.

PENNY

Oh.Isitokay?

DAVID

It'sfine.

LEONARD

Luckyforthebikeitlandedonmyleg.

DAVID

YoumindgivingmeahandwithSpeedRacerhere?

PENNY

Oh,yeah.Yeah,sure.So,um,Dave,howdoyouknowLeonard?

DAVID

I'maphysicist.

PENNY

Ha,ha.No,you'renot.

DAVID

Whyisthatsosurprising?

PENNY

Uh,well,it'sjustthatthephysicistsIknowareindoorsyandpale.

LEONARD

I'mnotindoorsy.IjustweartheappropriatesunblockbecauseIdon'ttakemelanomalightly.

PENNY

SoareyouandLeonardworkingonanexperimenttogether?

PENNY

Yeah,actuallyweare.

LEONARD

Yeah,we'reexaminingtheradiationlevelsofphotomultipliertubesforanewdarkmatterdetector.

PENNY

Uh,sweetie,sweetie,Davewastalking.Youknow,Ilovescience.

LEONARD

Sincewhen?

PENNY

Sincealways.

PENNY

Callmeageek,butIamjustnutsforthewholesubatomic-particlething.

DAVID

ThelastthingIwouldevercallyouisageek.

PENNY

Oh,well,that'swhatIam.Queenofthenerds.

DAVID

Hey,ifyou'dlike,Icouldshowyouthelabwe'reworkingin.We'vegotsomecooltoys,youknow.Lasersandstuff.

PENNY

Youknow,Ihavealwayswantedtoseeabigsciencelab.

LEONARD

Sincewhen?

PENNY

Sincealways.

DAVID

Leonard,areyouokayhere?

LEONARD

Uh.Yeah,Iguess.

DAVID

How'boutwegoseeitnow?

Maybeafterwardswetakethebikeupthecoast.Wegrabalittlebitetoeat?

PENNY

Um,yeah.Yeah,thatsoundsgreat.Letmejustgetmyjacket.

DAVID

Boy,she'lldo,huh?

LEONARD

Yeah,ifyoulikethattype.

DAVID

Soyouandher...?

LEONARD

No,justneighbors.

LEONARD

Really.

DAVID

Idon'tknowhowyoulivenextdoortothatwithoutdoingsomethingaboutit.

LEONARD

Actually...scienceismylady.

PENNY

Okay.Let'sgo.

DAVID

Allright.Seeyoutomorrow,Leonard.

LEONARD

Seeya.Bye,Penny.Havefun.

SHELDON

Yes?

Didyouforgetyourkey?

Idon'tseeanythinginhereawomanwouldwant.

HOWARD

You'rekidding.You'vegotlotionsandbathoilsandsoaps.That'stheestrogenhattrick.

SHELDON

Whatitisisacacophonousassaultofeucalyptus,bayberry,cinnamonandvanilla.It'sasifmyheadweretrappedinthepajamasofasultan.

RAJESH

Sheldon,ifyoudon'tlikethisstuff,let'sjustgonextdoorandbuildherabear.

SHELDON

Itoldyoubefor