英语四级作文提分技巧.docx
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英语四级作文提分技巧
结构简洁
好的写作，首先而且至关重要的一点就是简洁。
繁冗的写作堆砌了许多无用的词藻，反而减弱表述的清晰度。
当然，也不能仅仅因为简短就认为短句一定优于长句。
只要一个单词确实能起到一定的作用，它就应该留在句中。
一般来说，只有在进行强调或修饰、美化句子时，才能使用重复的单词、语音和短语。
修改文章，就是要删繁就简。
比较下面这对句子，注意体会二者的差别及效果。
1）Dr.SunYat-senwenttoJapanbymeansofabigboat.
2）Dr.SunYat-senwenttoJapanbyboat.
斜体字部分较啰嗦，因为"by"就是"bymeansofboat"。
请看下列例句
Wordy:
Itmakesmefeelpainfultothinkthatshehastowork12hoursadayandsevendaysaweek.
Better:
Itpainsmetothinkthatshehastowork12hoursadayandsevendaysaweek.
Wordy:
ItwillbeouraimtoensureproperhealthcareforeachandeveryoneoftheChinesepeople.
Better:
OuraimistoensureproperhealthcareforallChinese.
Wordy:
Thisbookwillhelpyoumasterthebasicelementsofgoodwriting.
Better:
Thisbookwillhelpyoumasterthebasicsofgoodwriting.
Wordy:
Thesearchoftheforestthattheyconductedwasentirelycomplete.
Better:
Thesearchoftheforestwascomplete.
或Theyconductedacompletesearchoftheforest.
第二个句子合乎汉语表达习惯，即他们对森林进行了彻底的搜查。
Wordy:
Hehasnosenseofprinciples,whetherheisinpublicorinprivate.
Better:
Hehasnoprinciples,publicorprivate.
Wordy:
Wheneveranyonetelephonedhertoaskherforhelpwiththeirhomeworkshealwaysobligedrightaway.
Better:
Sheimmediatelyobligedanyonewhotelephonedforhelpwithhomework.
Wordy:
Inacautiousmannerthecarwentaroundthecorner.
Better:
Thecarnegotiatedthecorner.
Wordy:
Ifthegovernmentagencyfindsthatanindividualhasreceivedapaymenttowhichtheindividualwasnotentitled,whetherornotthepaymentwasduetotheindividual’sfaultormisrepresentation,theindividualshallbeliabletorepaytothegovernmentthetotalsumofthepaymenttowhichtheindividualwasnotentitled.
Better:
Ifthegovernmentagencyfindsthatyoureceivedapaymentthatyouweren’tentitledto,youmustpaytheentiresumback.
Wordy:
Anotherimportantaspectisgoodhealth.Itisoneofourgreatblessings.Itmaybeachievedthroughproperdietandexercise.Restisalsodesirable.
Better:
Thegreatblessingofgoodhealthmaybehadthroughproperdiet,exercise,andrest.
词语简化的一些技巧
2策略之一：
用介词短语替代从句。
例:
Wordy:
Whiletheywereplayingtennis,shestartedanargumentthatlastedallmorning.
Better:
Duringtennisshestartedanargumentthatlastedallmorning.
Wordy:
Whenyoucometothesecondtrafficlight,turnright.
Better:
Atthesecondtrafficlightturnleft.
2策略之二：
删除诸如"whois”或"thatis"之类的关系代词，变从句为短语。
例:
Wordy:
Thenovel,whichiswritteninthreeparts,toldastorythattookplaceintheMiddleAges.
Better:
Thethree-partnoveltoldastorysetintheMiddleAges.
注：
把句中的”threeparts”改用形容词来表达，节省了四个不必要的单词”whichiswrittenin”。
我们经常可以将关系代词如”that”去掉，这只会引起最少的变动。
2策略之三：
剔除你不需要的单词
"Twojointpartnerswillpresenttheirviewsoveralong-distancetelephonecall."
写完这样的句子后，你自己再读一遍，挑出单词”joint”和”telephone”，注意删去不必要的词。
2策略之四：
表达否定意义时，尽量避免使用否定词。
英语中很多词不用"no’s"或者"not’s"也能表达否定含义的词汇，你尽可以采取更为委婉的表达方式。
例：
Thuscollegestudentswhodonothavesufficientfinancialbacking,
也就是collegestudentswholackssufficientfinancialbacking。
如果你不想使用太多的否定词，就应该尽量避免使用它们。
善于变化
许多人将简洁与简短混为一谈，其实二有很大区别。
简洁的主旨是用尽量少的词汇讲述整个故事，简短的主旨则是为保持文章篇幅短小，精心撰写或随意删除文中的某些词语或章节。
简洁并不意味着总写短句子。
事实上，如果句式缺乏变化，文章就会显得支离破碎，缺少联系，让人觉得写作技巧贫乏。
句式的变化能令文章协调而流畅，会让读者感觉到作者对主题把握得游刃有余。
虽然短句没什么语法错误，但用得太多会使本应合在一起的意思分离开来。
记住：
不要使用一串串短的、支离破碎的句子。
要理清自己的思路，尽量使句子长度有所变化。
例:
Before:
TheArtofStrategywaswrittenbySunTzu.Itisafifty-six-hundred-wordChineseclassicalwork.Thewriterputforthasetofprinciplesinaverytightlycompressedmanner.Theydealwithhowtodefeatoppositionsandwinbattles.
这种表达的问题在于：
（1）简单的“主语+谓语”结构太多;
（2）"written"和"writer", "TheArtofStrategy"和"It"，"setofprinciples"和"they"为重复用语;
（3）读起来很单调。
After：
Inhisfifty-six-hundredwordclassic,TheArtofStrategy,SunTzuputforthatightlycompressedsetofprinciplesforachievingtriumphoveropposition.
介词结构+同位语+主语+谓语的形式比较好，因为将"SunTzu"放到了最重要成分-主语的位置，其他成分按逻辑排序居次要地位。
整个句子很流畅。
再看下面各例
Choppy:
Ofcourse,theweaponsatSunTzu’stimewerequiteprimitive.Thearmieswereverylarge.TheywerenearlyaslargeasthoseinWorldWarTwo.ThedevastationandhumansufferingswerejustasprofoundasinWorldWarTwo.
Better:
ComparedwithWorldWarTwo,theweaponsatSunTzu’stimewerequiteprimitive,butthearmieswerenearlyaslargeandthedevastationandhumansufferingjustasprofound.
Choppy:
Proverbsareshortsayings.Theyaredrawnfromlongexperience.
Better:
Proverbsareshortsayingsdrawnfromlongexperience.
Choppy:
Peoplechangeandplaceschangeaswell.Jenniferfeltthisstrongly.Shehadbeenawayforelevenyears.
Better:
Onreturningafteraneleven-yearabsence,Jenniferhadastrongfeelingofhowpeopleandplaceschange.
Choppy:
Beijingstreetsarecrowdedwithtaxis,companycarsandprivatevehiclesownedbythenewlyaffluent.Thenumberhasbeenrisingrapidlyinthelastfewyears.Thelateststatisticsshowtherearenow1.2millionvehiclesinBeijingalone.
Better:
Taxis,companycarsandprivatevehiclesownedbythenewlyaffluenthavecrammedBeijingstreetsinrisingnumbersinthelastfewyears-1.2millionvehiclesatlastcount.
Choppy:
MobyDickisabook.Itisalongbook.Itisaboutawhale.AmannamedAhabtriestokillit.HermanMelvillewroteit.
Better:
HermanMelvillewrotealongbookcalledMobyDick.Itisthestoryofastruggleofamanagainstawhale.
Choppy:
Thousandsofbuildingsmetthesamefate.Thisaloneisnowbeingpreserved.Itmarksthecenterofthenuclearexplosion.Itisbeingpreservedasasymbol.ItsymbolizesourwishthattherebenomoreHiroshimas.
Better:
Ofthethousandsofbuildingsthatmetthesamefate,thisalone,markingthecenterofthenuclearexplosion,isnowbeingpreservedtosymbolizeourwishthattherebenomoreHiroshimas.
Choppy:
Ihavealwayshadadream.Mydreamhasbeentobeafamouswriter.Everyonewouldreadmybooks.Iwouldbecomeverywealthy.
Better:
Ihavealwaysdreamedofbeingawealthy,famouswriter,readbyeveryone.
Choppy:
Thisisawreck.ItwasformerlythestatelyImperialGarden.Itispreserveddeliberatelyasareminderandsymbol.
Better:
Thiswreck,formerlythestatelyImperialGarden,ispreserveddeliberatelyasareminderandsymbol.
句式变化的一些技巧
英语的一个显著特征是它可轻易地把简单结构（一个中心意思）转化为复合结构（两个中心意思）和复杂结构（一个中心意思和一个从属意思）甚至转化为复合-复杂结构（两个或以上的意思）。
主句，又称独立句，表达可独立成句的思想内容。
从句，又称非独立句，表达不能独立成句，而需与主句一起构成完整的思想内容。
达到句式多变的最佳期途径是把关键词或短语换到开头或结尾，从中发现达到你的目的和适合你的品味的最好方法。
通过连接短句--省词，增词，改变词序或把不那么重要的思想放到从句中去--你就可以写出更流畅，成熟的句子。
例
Before:
LuHaograduatedlastsummer.HejoinedtheFirstAutoWorksinChangchunsoonaftergraduation.Hereceivedanengineeringdegreefromhiscollege.
采用从句能将这三个简单句以不同方式连接起来。
After:
Aftergraduatinglastsummerwithanengineeringdegree,LuHaosoonjoinedtheFirstAutoWorksinChangchun.
（介词结构+主语+谓语）
或：
Anengineeringdegree-holder,LuHaojoinedtheFirstAutoWorksinhangchunlastsummersoonaftergraduation.
（同位语+主语+谓语+状语）
或：
Havinggraduatedwithanengineeringdegree,LuHaojoinedtheFirstAutoWorksinChangchunlastsummer.
（状语+主语+谓语）
巧用倒装
Tobeornottobe:
thatisthequestion.
--WilliamShakespear
Neverbeforehavewehadsolittletimetodosomuch.
--美国前总统FranklinD.Roosevelt
Plain:
Wesatonthecliffsbythesea,watchingthesunset.
Interesting:
Onthecliffsbytheseawesat,watchingthesunset.
（介词短语-主语-谓语-分词）
Normal:
Theprofessorwalkedin.
Reversed:
Inwalkedtheprofessor.
（谓语-主语）
Normal:
Jeremyscornedhonestmen.
Reversed:
HonestmenJeremyscorned.
（宾语-主语谓语）
Normal:
AlthoughIamfondofmychildren,Ihopetheywon’tgrowupspoilt.
Reversed:
FondasIamofmychildren,Ihopetheywon’tgrowupspoilt
Normal:
Henevergaveupcertainhabitsofhisyouth,andoneofthemwasthathelikedtoinspecthisclothesthoroughlyforwrinklesbeforehesteppedoutofthedoor.
Reversed:
Certainhabitsofhisyouthhenevergaveup,andoneofthemwasthathelikedtoinspecthisclothesthoroughlyforwrinklesbeforehesteppedoutofthedoor.
Normal:
Stephenwasabunglerthen.
Reversed:
AbunglerStephenwasthen.
（补语-主语-谓语）
Normal:
Weshallneverfeelsecure.
Reversed/Interesting:
Secureweshallneverfeel.
（补语-主语-谓语）
Normal:
Thisisalostgeneration.
Reversed:
Thisisagenerationlost.
Plain:
TheimmenseexpanseoftheGobiDesertstretchesbeforeus.
Interesting:
BeforeusstretchedtheimmenseexpanseoftheGobiDesert.
（介词短语-谓语-名词）
Plain:
Hewasn’tcutouttobeapeacetimeofficer.Hewantedglory,hewantedtheexcitementofwar.Noone,exceptpossiblyhimself,haseverdoubtedhisphysicalcourage（oranyotherkindofcourage）.
Interesting:
Hewasn’tcutouttobeapeacetimeofficer.Hewantedglory,hewantedtheexcitementofwar.Hisphysicalcourage（oranyotherkindofcourage）noone,exceptpossiblyhimself,haseverdoubted.
Normal:
Nobodyknowswhylandssinkundertheseaandriseagain.
Reversed:
Whylandssinkundertheseaandriseagainnobodyknows.
Normal:
Idarenottrusther.
Emphatic:
TrustherIdarenot.
Normal:
Ineverthoughthewouldreturnalive.
Emphatic:
NeverdidIthinkhewouldreturnalive.
Loose:
Historyhasprovedamplythatmerenumbersmaybedefeatedbysmallerforceswhoaresuperiorinarms,organization,andmorale.
Better:
Thatmerenumbersmaybedefeatedbysmallerforceswhoaresuperiorinarms,organization,andmoralehistoryhasamplyproved.
Plain:
Ihatetaxesandtaxcollectorsequally.
Interesting:
Taxesandtaxcollectors,Ihateequall
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