CHAPTER 1011.docx

CHAPTER 1011.docx

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CHAPTER1011

CHAPTER10

AdayortwolaterMrs.StricklandsentmeroundanoteaskingifIcouldgoandseeherthateveningafterdinner.Ifoundheralone.Herblackdress,simpletoausterity,suggestedherbereavedcondition,andIwasinnocentlyastonishedthatnotwithstandingarealemotionshewasabletodressthepartshehadtoplayaccordingtohernotionsofseemliness.

"YousaidthatifIwantedyoutodoanythingyouwouldn'tminddoingit,"sheremarked.

"Itwasquitetrue."

"WillyougoovertoParisandseeCharlie?

"

"I?

"

Iwastakenaback.IreflectedthatIhadonlyseenhimonce.Ididnotknowwhatshewantedmetodo.

"Fredissetongoing."FredwasColonelMacAndrew."ButI'msurehe'snotthemantogo.He'llonlymakethingsworse.Idon'tknowwhoelsetoask."

Hervoicetrembledalittle,andIfeltabruteeventohesitate.

"ButI'venotspokentenwordstoyourhusband.Hedoesn'tknowme.He'llprobablyjusttellmetogotothedevil."

"Thatwouldn'thurtyou,"saidMrs.Strickland,smiling.

"Whatisitexactlyyouwantmetodo?

"

Shedidnotanswerdirectly.

"Ithinkit'sratheranadvantagethathedoesn'tknowyou.Yousee,heneverreallylikedFred;hethoughthimafool;hedidn'tunderstandsoldiers.Fredwouldflyintoapassion,andthere'dbeaquarrel,andthingswouldbeworseinsteadofbetter.Ifyousaidyoucameonmybehalf,hecouldn'trefusetolistentoyou."

"Ihaven'tknownyouverylong,"Ianswered."Idon'tseehowanyonecanbeexpectedtotackleacaselikethisunlessheknowsallthedetails.Idon'twanttopryintowhatdoesn'tconcernme.Whydon'tyougoandseehimyourself?

"

"Youforgetheisn'talone."

Iheldmytongue.IsawmyselfcallingonCharlesStricklandandsendinginmycard;Isawhimcomeintotheroom,holdingitbetweenfingerandthumb:

"TowhatdoIowethishonour?

"

"I'vecometoseeyouaboutyourwife."

"Really.Whenyouarealittleolderyouwilldoubtlesslearntheadvantageofmindingyourownbusiness.Ifyouwillbesogoodastoturnyourheadslightlytotheleft,youwillseethedoor.Iwishyougood-afternoon."

Iforesawthatitwouldbedifficulttomakemyexitwithdignity,andIwishedtogoodnessthatIhadnotreturnedtoLondontillMrs.Stricklandhadcomposedherdifficulties.Istoleaglanceather.Shewasimmersedinthought.Presentlyshelookedupatme,sigheddeeply,andsmiled.

"Itwasallsounexpected,"shesaid."We'dbeenmarriedseventeenyears.IseverdreamedthatCharliewasthesortofmantogetinfatuatedwithanyone.Wealwaysgotonverywelltogether.Ofcourse,Ihadagreatmanyintereststhathedidn'tshare."

"Haveyoufoundoutwho"--Ididnotquiteknowhowtoexpressmyself--"whotheperson,whoitishe'sgoneawaywith?

"

"No.Nooneseemstohaveanidea.It'ssostrange.Generallywhenamanfallsinlovewithsomeonepeopleseethemabouttogether,lunchingorsomething,andherfriendsalwayscomeandtellthewife.Ihadnowarning--nothing.Hislettercamelikeathunderbolt.Ithoughthewasperfectlyhappy."

Shebegantocry,poorthing,andIfeltverysorryforher.Butinalittlewhileshegrewcalmer.

"It'snogoodmakingafoolofmyself,"shesaid,dryinghereyes."Theonlythingistodecidewhatisthebestthingtodo."

Shewenton,talkingsomewhatatrandom,nowoftherecentpast,thenoftheirfirstmeetingandtheirmarriage;butpresentlyIbegantoformafairlycoherentpictureoftheirlives;anditseemedtomethatmysurmiseshadnotbeenincorrect.Mrs.StricklandwasthedaughterofanIndiancivilian,whoonhisretirementhadsettledinthedepthsofthecountry,butitwashishabiteveryAugusttotakehisfamilytoEastbourneforchangeofair;anditwashere,whenshewastwenty,thatshemetCharlesStrickland.Hewastwenty-three.Theyplayedtogether,walkedonthefronttogether,listenedtogethertotheniggerminstrels;andshehadmadeuphermindtoaccepthimaweekbeforeheproposedtoher.TheylivedinLondon,firstinHampstead,andthen,ashegrewmoreprosperous,intown.Twochildrenwereborntothem.

"Healwaysseemedveryfondofthem.Evenifhewastiredofme,Iwonderthathehadthehearttoleavethem.It'sallsoincredible.EvennowIcanhardlybelieveit'strue."

Atlastsheshowedmetheletterhehadwritten.Iwascurioustoseeit,buthadnotventuredtoaskforit.

"MYDEARAMY,

"Ithinkyouwillfindeverythingallrightintheflat.IhavegivenAnneyourinstructions,anddinnerwillbereadyforyouandthechildrenwhenyoucome.Ishallnotbetheretomeetyou.Ihavemadeupmymindtoliveapartfromyou,andIamgoingtoParisinthemorning.Ishallpostthisletteronmyarrival.Ishallnotcomeback.Mydecisionisirrevocable.

"Yoursalways,

"CHARLESSTRICKLAND."

"Notawordofexplanationorregret.Don'tyouthinkit'sinhuman?

"

"It'saverystrangeletterunderthecircumstances,"Ireplied.

"There'sonlyoneexplanation,andthatisthathe'snothimself.Idon'tknowwhothiswomaniswho'sgotholdofhim,butshe'smadehimintoanotherman.It'sevidentlybeengoingonalongtime."

"Whatmakesyouthinkthat?

"

"Fredfoundthatout.Myhusbandsaidhewenttotheclubthreeorfournightsaweektoplaybridge.Fredknowsoneofthemembers,andsaidsomethingaboutCharlesbeingagreatbridge-player.Themanwassurprised.Hesaidhe'dneverevenseenCharlesinthecard-room.It'squiteclearnowthatwhenIthoughtCharleswasathisclubhewaswithher."

Iwassilentforamoment.ThenIthoughtofthechildren.

"ItmusthavebeendifficulttoexplaintoRobert,"Isaid.

"Oh,Ineversaidawordtoeitherofthem.Yousee,weonlycameuptotownthedaybeforetheyhadtogobacktoschool.Ihadthepresenceofmindtosaythattheirfatherhadbeencalledawayonbusiness."

Itcouldnothavebeenveryeasytobebrightandcarelesswiththatsuddensecretinherheart,nortogiveherattentiontoallthethingsthatneededdoingtogetherchildrencomfortablypackedoff.Mrs.Strickland'svoicebrokeagain.

"Andwhatistohappentothem,poordarlings?

Howarewegoingtolive?

"

Shestruggledforself-control,andIsawherhandsclenchandunclenchspasmodically.Itwasdreadfullypainful.

"OfcourseI'llgoovertoParisifyouthinkIcandoanygood,butyoumusttellmeexactlywhatyouwantmetodo."

"Iwanthimtocomeback."

"IunderstoodfromColonelMacAndrewthatyou'dmadeupyourmindtodivorcehim."

"I'llneverdivorcehim,"sheansweredwithasuddenviolence."Tellhimthatfromme.He'llneverbeabletomarrythatwoman.I'masobstinateasheis,andI'llneverdivorcehim.Ihavetothinkofmychildren."

Ithinksheaddedthistoexplainherattitudetome,butIthoughtitwasduetoaverynaturaljealousyratherthantomaternalsolicitude.

"Areyouinlovewithhimstill?

"

"Idon'tknow.Iwanthimtocomeback.Ifhe'lldothatwe'llletbygonesbebygones.Afterall,we'vebeenmarriedforseventeenyears.I'mabroadmindedwoman.Iwouldn'thavemindedwhathedidaslongasIknewnothingaboutit.Hemustknowthathisinfatuationwon'tlast.Ifhe'llcomebacknoweverythingcanbesmoothedover,andnoonewillknowanythingaboutit."

ItchilledmealittlethatMrs.Stricklandshouldbeconcernedwithgossip,forIdidnotknowthenhowgreatapartisplayedinwomen'slifebytheopinionofothers.Itthrowsashadowofinsincerityovertheirmostdeeplyfeltemotions.

ItwasknownwhereStricklandwasstaying.Hispartner,inaviolentletter,senttohisbank,hadtauntedhimwithhidinghiswhereabouts:

andStrickland,inacynicalandhumourousreply,hadtoldhispartnerexactlywheretofindhim.HewasapparentlylivinginanHotel.

"I'veneverheardofit,"saidMrs.Strickland."ButFredknowsitwell.Hesaysit'sveryexpensive."

Sheflusheddarkly.Iimaginedthatshesawherhusbandinstalledinaluxurioussuiteofrooms,diningatonesmartrestaurantafteranother,andshepicturedhisdaysspentatrace-meetingsandhiseveningsattheplay.

"Itcan'tgoonathisage,"shesaid."Afterall,he'sforty.Icouldunderstanditinayoungman,butIthinkit'shorribleinamanofhisyears,withchildrenwhoarenearlygrownup.Hishealthwillneverstandit."

Angerstruggledinherbreastwithmisery.

"Tellhimthatourhomecriesoutforhim.Everythingisjustthesame,andyeteverythingisdifferent.Ican'tlivewithouthim.I'dsoonerkillmyself.Talktohimaboutthepast,andallwe'vegonethroughtogether.WhatamItosaytothechildrenwhentheyaskforhim?

Hisroomisexactlyasitwaswhenheleftit.It'swaitingforhim.We'reallwaitingforhim."

NowshetoldmeexactlywhatIshouldsay.Shegavemeelaborateanswerstoeverypossibleobservationofhis.

"Youwilldoeverythingyoucanforme?

"shesaidpitifully."TellhimwhatastateI'min."

Isawthatshewishedmetoappealtohissympathiesbyeverymeansinmypower.Shewasweepingfreely.Iwasextraordinarilytouched.IfeltindignantatStrickland'scoldcruelty,andIpromisedtodoallIcouldtobringhimback.Iagreedtogooveronthenextdaybutone,andtostayinParistillIhadachievedsomething.Then,asitwasgrowinglateandwewerebothexhaustedbysomuchemotion,Ilefther.