ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿92567.docx

ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿92567.docx

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ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿92567

ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿

ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿为大家整理美国着名脱口秀主持人艾伦在杜兰大学的精彩演讲，杜兰大学是成立于1894年美国南部的一所着名的综合性大学，下面是小编整理的ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿

ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿英文

Thankyou,PresidentCowan,Mrs.PresidentCowen;distinguishedguests,undistinguishedguests-youknowwhoyouare,honoredfacultyandcreepySpanishteacher.Andthankyoutoallthegraduatingclassof20XX,IrealizemostofyouarehungoverandhavesplittingheadachesandhaventsleptsinceFatTuesday,butyoucantgraduatetilIfinish,solistenup.

WhenIwasaskedtomakethecommencementspeech,Iimmediatelysaidyes.ThenIwenttolookupwhatcommencementmeant.WhichwouldhavebeeneasyifIhadadictionary,butmostofthebooksinourhousearePortias,andtheyreallwritteninAustralian.SoIhadtobreaktheworddownmyself,tofindoutthemeaning.

Commencement:

common,andcement.Commoncement.Youcommonlyseecementonsidewalks.Sidewalkshavecracks,andifyousteponacrack,youbreakyourmothersback.Sotheresthat.ButImhonoredthatyouveaskedmeheretospeakatyourcommoncement.

Ithoughtthatyouhadtobeafamousalumnus-alumini-aluminum-alumis-youhadtograduatefromthisschool.AndIdidntgotocollegehere,andIdontknowifPresidentCowanknows,Ididntgotoanycollegeatall.Anycollege.AndImnotsayingyouwastedyourtime,ormoney,butlookatme,Imahugecelebrity.

AlthoughIdidgraduatefromtheschoolofhardknocks,ourmascotwastheknockers.Ispentalotoftimeheregrowingup.Mymomworkedat（估计是某家商店的名字）andIwouldgothereeverytimeIneededtostealsomethingoutofherpurse.ButwhyamIheretodayClearlynottosteal,youretoofarawayandIdnevergetawaywithit.

Imherebecauseofyou.BecauseIcantthinkofamoretenacious,morecourageousgraduatingclass.Imean,lookatyouall,wearingyourrobes.Usuallywhenyourewearingarobeat10inthemorning,itmeansyouvegivenup.ImherebecauseIloveNewOrleans.Iwasbornandraisedhere,Ispentmyformativeyearshere,andlikeyou,whileIwaslivinghereIonlydidlaundrysixtimes.WhenIfinishedschool,Iwascompletelylost.Andbyschool,Imeanmiddleschool,butIwentaheadandfinishedhighschoolanyway.AndI-Ireally,Ihadnoambition,IdidntknowwhatIwantedtodo.Idideverythingfrom-Ishuckedoysters,Iwasahostess,Iwasabartender,Iwasawaitress,Ipaintedhouses,Isoldvaccuumcleaners,Ihadnoidea.AndIthoughtIdjustfinallysettleinsomejob,andIwouldmakeenoughmoneytopaymyrent,maybehavebasiccable,maybenot,Ididntreallyhaveaplan,mypointisthat,bythetimeIwasyourage,IreallythoughtIknewwhoIwas,butIhadnoidea.Likeforexample,whenIwasyourage,Iwasdatingmen.SowhatImsayingis,whenyoureolder,mostofyouwillbegay.AnyonewritingthisstuffdownParents

Anyway,IhadnoideawhatIwantedtodowithmylife,andthewayIendeduponthispathwasfromaverytragicevent.Iwasmaybe19,andmygirlfriendatthetimewaskilledinacaraccident.AndIpassedtheaccident,andIdidntknowitwasherandIkept

going,andIfoundoutshortlyafterthat,itwasher.AndIwaslivinginabasementapartment,Ihadnomoney,Ihadnoheat,noair,Ihadamattressonthefloorandtheapartmentwasinfestedwithfleas.AndIwassoul-searching,Iwaslike,whyisshesuddenlygone,andtherearefleashereIdontunderstand,theremustbeapurpose,andwouldntitbesoconvenientifwecouldpickupthephoneandcallGod,andaskthesequestions.

AndIstartedwritingandwhatpouredoutofmewasanimaginaryconversationwithGod,whichwasone-sided,andIfinishedwritingitandIlookedatitandIsaidtomyself,andIhadntevenbeendoingstand-up,ever,therewasnoclubintown.Isaid,ImgonnadothisontheTonightShowWithJohnnyCarson-atthetimehewastheking-andImgonnabethefirstwomaninthehistoryoftheshowtobecalledovertositdown.Andseveralyearslater,Iwasthefirstwomaninthehistoryoftheshow,andonlywomaninthehistoryoftheshowtositdown,becauseofthatphoneconversationwithGodthatIwrote.AndIstartedthispathofstand-upanditwassuccessfulanditwasgreat,butitwashard,becauseIwastryingtopleaseeverybodyandIhadthissecretthatIwaskeeping,thatIwasgay.AndIthoughtifpeoplefoundouttheywouldntlikeme,theywouldntlaughatme.

Thenmycareerturnedinto-Igotmyownsitcom,andthatwasverysuccessful,anotherlevelofsuccess.AndIthought,whatiftheyfindoutImgay,thentheyllneverwatch,andthiswasalongtimeago,thiswaswhenwejusthadwhitepresidents-thiswasback,manyyearsago-andIfinallydecidedthatIwaslivingwithsomuchshame,andsomuchfear,thatIjustcouldntlivethatwayanymore,andIdecidedtocomeoutandmakeitcreative.Andmycharacterwouldcomeoutatthesametime,anditwasnttomakeapoliticalstatement,itwasnttodoanythingotherthantofreemyselfupfromthisheavinessthatIwascarryingaround,andIjustwantedtobehonest.AndIthought,WhatstheworstthatcouldhappenIcanlosemycareer.Idid.Ilostmycareer.Theshowwascancelledaftersixyears,withouteventellingme,Ireaditinthepaper.Thephonedidntringforthreeyears.Ihadnooffers.Nobodywantedtotouchmeatall.Yet,Iwasgettinglettersfromkidsthatalmostcommittedsuicide,butdidnt,becauseofwhatIdid.AndIrealisedthatIhadapurpose.Anditwasntjustaboutmeanditwasntaboutcelebrity,butIfeltlikeIwasbeingpunished...itwasabadtime,Iwasangry,Iwassad,andthenIwasofferedatalkshow.Andthepeoplethatofferedmethetalkshowtriedtosellit.Andmoststationsdidntwanttopickitup.Mostpeopledidntwanttobuyitbecausetheythoughtnobodywouldwatchme.

ReallywhenIlookbackonit,Iwouldntchangeathing.Imean,itwassoimportantformetoloseeverythingbecauseIfoundoutwhatthemostimportantthingis,istobetruetoyourself.Ultimately,thatswhatsgottenmetothisplace.Idontliveinfear,Imfree,Ihavenosecrets.andIknowIllalwaysbeok,becausenomatterwhat,IknowwhoIam.SoInconclusion,whenIwasyoungerIthoughtsuccesswassomethingdifferent.IthoughtwhenIgrowup,Iwanttobefamous.Iwanttobeastar.Iwanttobeinmovies.WhenIgrowupIwanttoseetheworld,drivenicecars,Iwanttohavegroupies.ToquotethePussycatDolls.Howmanypeoplethoughtitwasboobies,bythewayItsnot,itsgroupies

Butmyideaofsuccessisdifferenttoday.Andasyougrow,youllrealisethedefinitionofsuccesschanges.Formanyofyou,today,successisbeingabletoholddown20shotsoftequila.Forme,themostimportantthinginyourlifeistoliveyourlifewithintegrity,andnottogiveintopeerpressure.totrytobesomethingthatyourenot.Toliveyourlifeasanhonestandcompassionateperson.tocontributeinsomeway.Sotoconcludemyconclusion:

followyourpassion,staytruetoyourself.Neverfollowanyoneelsespath,unlessyoureinthewoodsandyourelostandyouseeapath,andbyallmeansyoushouldfollowthat.Dontgiveadvice,itwillcomebackandbiteyouintheass.Donttakeanyonesadvice.Somyadvicetoyouistobetruetoyourselfandeverythingwillbefine.

AndIknowthatalotofyouareconcernedaboutyourfuture,buttheresnoneedtoworry.Theeconomyisbooming,thejobmarketiswideopen,theplanetisjustfine.Itsgonnabegreat.Youvealreadysurvivedahurricane.WhatelsecanhappentoyouAndasImentionedbefore,someofthemostdevastatingthingsthathappentoyouwillteachyouthemost.Andnowyouknowtherightquestionstoaskinyourfirstjobinterview.Like,Isitabovesealevel.SotoconcludemyconclusionthatIvepreviouslyconcluded,inthecommoncementspeech,IguesswhatImtryingtosayislifeislikeonebigMardiGras.Butinsteadofshowingyourboobs,showpeopleyourbrain,andiftheylikewhattheysee,youllhavemorebeadsthanyouknowwhattodowith.Andyoullbedrunk,mostofthetime.SotheKatrinaclassof20XX,IsaycongratulationsandifyoudontrememberathingIsaidtoday,rememberthis:

youregonnabeok,dumdedumdumdum,justdance.

ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿中文

谢谢，谢谢考恩校长，和有头有脸的来宾们，呃，有头有脸的来宾，你知道你是谁，不用介绍了，诚心感谢大家&bd&bd以及讨厌的西班牙语老师。

感谢所有20XX届的毕业生，我知道你们绝大多数人还因为宿醉头痛欲裂，狂欢到今天都还没睡，但是没听完我的演讲不能毕业，所以都听好了!

（学生们欢呼）当我被问是否来参加毕业典礼演讲的时候，我立刻就回答了：

yes!

&bd&bd然后我才去查毕业典礼是什么意思（众人笑）。

如果我有字典的话就轻松多了，但我家的书大多是portia的（Ellen的妻子，澳大利亚人）而且都是澳洲文，所以&bd&bd我得自己摸索，去找出这个词的意思。

commencement毕业典礼：

commen常见的+cement水泥，常见的水泥。

你常常见到水泥，在人行道上，人行道有裂缝，你要是踩到裂缝，就会撞伤你妈妈的背，所以大概意思就是这样了。

但我很荣幸被邀请来做你们的常见的水泥的演讲。

我以为非得是又有名，又是你们学校的校友才能来&bd&bd我没有在这里念过大学，我不知校长先生是否知道，我完全没上过大学&bd任何一间大学!

我到不是在说你们在浪费时间和金钱，不过看看我，我是个超级成功的大名人唉!

事实上我在这里度过许多成长的岁月，我妈妈在这里工作时，我常来找她&bd&bd每当我要偷她钱包里的钱时。

但我今天在这里的原因，显然不是要偷你们的钱&bd&bd我在这里是因为你们，因为没有比你们更优秀更勇敢的毕业生了。

看看你们每一个人，身穿你们的袍子（学士袍），通常我们说在早上10点还穿着袍子（睡袍）代表你放弃人生了。

我在这里，因为我爱纽奥良，我在这里出生成长，在此度过少年时光，正如你们一样，当我住这里时，我只洗过6次衣服。

当我从学校毕业的时候，我完完全全迷失了自我，学校我指的是初中，后来我也继续念完了高中。

我当时，没有任何的野心，不知道自己想做什么。

我什么工作都做，我挖生蚝，当带位员，做酒保，当服务生，粉刷房子，卖吸尘器&bd&bd完全不知道自己想做什么。

我只想随便找个糊口的工作，过一辈子，能有钱负得起房租就行，我完全没有任何计划。

我想说的是，当我像你们这么大的时候，我真的以为我了解自己，但其实我并不了解，举例来说，我像你们这么大的时候，还在和男人约会。

所以我的意思是：

当你们再长大些后，大多数的人，都会是gay!

）

总之，当时我不知道我的人生要干嘛，而最后我找到了我人生目标，却是因为一件十分悲惨的事。

我那时可能才19岁，当时的女朋友因为车祸身亡了。

我经过了事故现场，并不知道是她，还继续往前走。

不久后，才知道那是她。

我当时&bd&bd住在地下室的公寓，没有钱，没有暖气，房子里都是跳蚤。

我困惑不已，心想，为何她突然走了，而为何我又呆再这样一个境地里。

我无法理解，但其中一定有什么理由。

要是能直接拿起电话打给上帝问个清楚，不就太好了。

于是我开始写一些东西，心里涌现出一段我和上帝的对话，虽然只是我一个人的独白。

当我完成了它后，我阅读了这个剧本，对自己说，我说我要在今夜秀上和强尼.卡森一起表演这一段。

强尼.卡森是当时主持届的天王，我对自己说我要成为该节目史上第一个被邀请和强尼一起坐下来访问的女性。

数年之后，我成为这个节目史上，第一位也是唯一一位，被邀请坐下来和他访问的女性。

就因为那段我写的和上帝打电话的剧本。

从此我开始做单人脱口秀，做得很成功，也很辛苦，因为我想讨好每一个人，同时又守着我身为同性恋的秘密。

我想人们要是发现了，就不会喜欢我了。

后来我又有了自己的喜剧，也很成功，更进一步的