ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿92567.docx

1、ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿92567ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿 ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿为大家整理美国着名脱口秀主持人艾伦在杜兰大学的精彩演讲，杜兰大学是成立于1894年美国南部的一所着名的综合性大学，下面是小编整理的ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿 ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿英文 Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs. President Cowen; distinguished guests, undistinguished guests - you know who you are, honored faculty and creepy Spanish t

2、eacher. And thank you to all the graduating class of 20XX, I realize most of you are hungover and have splitting headaches and havent slept since Fat Tuesday, but you cant graduate til I finish, so listen up. When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediately said yes. Then I went to lo

3、ok up what commencement meant. Which would have been easy if I had a dictionary, but most of the books in our house are Portias, and theyre all written in Australian. So I had to break the word down myself, to find out the meaning. Commencement: common, and cement. Common cement. You commonly see ce

4、ment on sidewalks. Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mothers back. So theres that. But Im honored that youve asked me here to speak at your common cement. I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus - alumini - aluminum - alumis - you had to graduate from this schoo

5、l. And I didnt go to college here, and I dont know if President Cowan knows, I didnt go to any college at all. Any college. And Im not saying you wasted your time, or money, but look at me, Im a huge celebrity. Although I did graduate from the school of hard knocks, our mascot was the knockers. I sp

6、ent a lot of time here growing up. My mom worked at ( 估计是某家商店的名字) and I would go there every time I needed to steal something out of her purse. But why am I here today Clearly not to steal, youre too far away and Id never get away with it. Im here because of you. Because I cant think of a more tenac

7、ious, more courageous graduating class. I mean, look at you all, wearing your robes. Usually when youre wearing a robe at 10 in the morning, it means youve given up. Im here because I love New Orleans. I was born and raised here, I spent my formative years here, and like you, while I was living here

8、 I only did laundry six times. When I finished school, I was completely lost. And by school, I mean middle school, but I went ahead and finished high school anyway. And I - I really, I had no ambition, I didnt know what I wanted to do. I did everything from - I shucked oysters, I was a hostess, I wa

9、s a bartender, I was a waitress, I painted houses, I sold vaccuum cleaners, I had no idea. And I thought Id just finally settle in some job, and I would make enough money to pay my rent, maybe have basic cable, maybe not, I didnt really have a plan, my point is that, by the time I was your age, I re

10、ally thought I knew who I was, but I had no idea. Like for example, when I was your age, I was dating men. So what Im saying is, when youre older, most of you will be gay. Anyone writing this stuff down Parents Anyway, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and the way I ended up on this pa

11、th was from a very tragic event. I was maybe 19, and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident. And I passed the accident, and I didnt know it was her and I kept going, and I found out shortly after that, it was her. And I was living in a basement apartment, I had no money, I had no hea

12、t, no air, I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was infested with fleas. And I was soul-searching, I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here I dont understand, there must be a purpose, and wouldnt it be so convenient if we could pick up the phone and call God, and ask

13、 these questions. And I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God, which was one-sided, and I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, and I hadnt even been doing stand-up, ever, there was no club in town. I said, Im gonna do this on the Ton

14、ight Show With Johnny Carson- at the time he was the king - and Im gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down. And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phon

15、e conversation with God that I wrote. And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay. And I thought if people found out they wouldnt like me, they wouldnt l

16、augh at me. Then my career turned into - I got my own sitcom, and that was very successful, another level of success. And I thought, what if they find out Im gay, then theyll never watch, and this was a long time ago, this was when we just had white presidents - this was back, many years ago - and I

17、 finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldnt live that way anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative. And my character would come out at the same time, and it wasnt to make a political statement, it wasnt to do anything other than to free

18、 myself up from this heaviness that I was carrying around, and I just wanted to be honest. And I thought, Whats the worst that could happen I can lose my career. I did. I lost my career. The show was cancelled after six years, without even telling me, I read it in the paper. The phone didnt ring for

19、 three years. I had no offers. Nobody wanted to touch me at all. Yet, I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide, but didnt, because of what I did. And I realised that I had a purpose. And it wasnt just about me and it wasnt about celebrity, but I felt like I was being punished. i

20、t was a bad time, I was angry, I was sad, and then I was offered a talkshow. And the people that offered me the talkshow tried to sell it. And most stations didnt want to pick it up. Most people didnt want to buy it because they thought nobody would watch me. Really when I look back on it, I wouldnt

21、 change a thing. I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is, is to be true to yourself. Ultimately, thats whats gotten me to this place. I dont live in fear, Im free, I have no secrets. and I know Ill always be ok, because no matter wha

22、t, I know who I am. So In conclusion, when I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought when I grow up, I want to be famous. I want to be a star. I want to be in movies. When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars, I want to have groupies. To quote the Pussycat Doll

23、s. How many people thought it was boobies, by the way Its not, its groupies But my idea of success is different today. And as you grow, youll realise the definition of success changes. For many of you, today, success is being able to hold down 20 shots of tequila. For me, the most important thing in

24、 your life is to live your life with integrity, and not to give into peer pressure. to try to be something that youre not. To live your life as an honest and compassionate person. to contribute in some way. So to conclude my conclusion: follow your passion, stay true to yourself. Never follow anyone

25、 elses path, unless youre in the woods and youre lost and you see a path, and by all means you should follow that. Dont give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass. Dont take anyones advice. So my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine. And I know that a lot o

26、f you are concerned about your future, but theres no need to worry. The economy is booming, the job market is wide open, the planet is just fine. Its gonna be great. Youve already survived a hurricane. What else can happen to you And as I mentioned before, some of the most devastating things that ha

27、ppen to you will teach you the most. And now you know the right questions to ask in your first job interview. Like, Is it above sea level . So to conclude my conclusion that Ive previously concluded, in the common cement speech, I guess what Im trying to say is life is like one big Mardi Gras. But i

28、nstead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, youll have more beads than you know what to do with. And youll be drunk, most of the time. So the Katrina class of 20XX, I say congratulations and if you dont remember a thing I said today, remember this: youre gon

29、na be ok, dum de dum dum dum, just dance. ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿中文 谢谢，谢谢考恩校长，和有头有脸的来宾们，呃，有头有脸的来宾，你知道你是谁，不用介绍了，诚心感谢大家&bd&bd以及讨厌的西班牙语老师。 感谢所有20XX届的毕业生，我知道你们绝大多数人还因为宿醉头痛欲裂，狂欢到今天都还没睡，但是没听完我的演讲不能毕业，所以都听好了!(学生们欢呼) 当我被问是否来参加毕业典礼演讲的时候，我立刻就回答了：yes!&bd&bd然后我才去查毕业典礼是什么意思(众人笑)。如果我有字典的话就轻松多了，但我家的书大多是portia的(Ellen的妻子，澳大利

30、亚人)而且都是澳洲文，所以&bd&bd我得自己摸索，去找出这个词的意思。 commencement毕业典礼：commen常见的+cement水泥，常见的水泥。 你常常见到水泥，在人行道上，人行道有裂缝，你要是踩到裂缝，就会撞伤你妈妈的背，所以大概意思就是这样了。 但我很荣幸被邀请来做你们的常见的水泥的演讲。我以为非得是又有名，又是你们学校的校友才能来&bd&bd我没有在这里念过大学，我不知校长先生是否知道，我完全没上过大学&bd任何一间大学!我到不是在说你们在浪费时间和金钱，不过看看我，我是个超级成功的大名人唉! 事实上我在这里度过许多成长的岁月，我妈妈在这里工作时，我常来找她&bd&bd每当

31、我要偷她钱包里的钱时。但我今天在这里的原因，显然不是要偷你们的钱&bd&bd我在这里是因为你们，因为没有比你们更优秀更勇敢的毕业生了。看看你们每一个人，身穿你们的袍子(学士袍)，通常我们说在早上10点还穿着袍子(睡袍)代表你放弃人生了。我在这里，因为我爱纽奥良，我在这里出生成长，在此度过少年时光，正如你们一样，当我住这里时，我只洗过6次衣服。 当我从学校毕业的时候，我完完全全迷失了自我，学校我指的是初中，后来我也继续念完了高中。我当时，没有任何的野心，不知道自己想做什么。我什么工作都做，我挖生蚝，当带位员，做酒保，当服务生，粉刷房子，卖吸尘器&bd&bd完全不知道自己想做什么。我只想随便找个糊

32、口的工作，过一辈子，能有钱负得起房租就行，我完全没有任何计划。我想说的是，当我像你们这么大的时候，我真的以为我了解自己，但其实我并不了解，举例来说，我像你们这么大的时候，还在和男人约会。所以我的意思是：当你们再长大些后，大多数的人，都会是gay!) 总之，当时我不知道我的人生要干嘛，而最后我找到了我人生目标，却是因为一件十分悲惨的事。我那时可能才19岁，当时的女朋友因为车祸身亡了。我经过了事故现场，并不知道是她，还继续往前走。不久后，才知道那是她。我当时&bd&bd住在地下室的公寓，没有钱，没有暖气，房子里都是跳蚤。我困惑不已，心想，为何她突然走了，而为何我又呆再这样一个境地里。我无法理解，但

33、其中一定有什么理由。要是能直接拿起电话打给上帝问个清楚，不就太好了。于是我开始写一些东西，心里涌现出一段我和上帝的对话，虽然只是我一个人的独白。当我完成了它后，我阅读了这个剧本，对自己说，我说我要在今夜秀上和强尼.卡森一起表演这一段。强尼.卡森是当时主持届的天王，我对自己说我要成为该节目史上第一个被邀请和强尼一起坐下来访问的女性。数年之后，我成为这个节目史上，第一位也是唯一一位，被邀请坐下来和他访问的女性。就因为那段我写的和上帝打电话的剧本。 从此我开始做单人脱口秀，做得很成功，也很辛苦，因为我想讨好每一个人，同时又守着我身为同性恋的秘密。我想人们要是发现了，就不会喜欢我了。后来我又有了自己的喜剧，也很成功，更进一步的