Ted演讲稿脆弱的力量.docx
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Ted演讲稿脆弱的力量
BreneBrown:
Thepowerofvulnerability
So,I'llstartwiththis:
acoupleyearsago,aneventplannercalled
mebecauseIwasgoingtodoaspeakingevent.Andshecalled,andshe
said,I'mreallystrugglingwithhowtowriteaboutyouonthelittle
flier.AndIthought,Well,what'sthestruggle?
Andshesaid,Well,I
sawyouspeak,andI'mgoingtocallyouaresearcher,Ithink,butI'm
afraidifIcallyouaresearcher,noonewillcome,becausethey'llthink
you'reboringandirrelevant.(Laughter)AndIwaslike,Okay.Andshe
said,ButthethingIlikedaboutyourtalkisyou'reastoryteller.SoI
thinkwhatI'lldoisjustcallyouastoryteller.Andofcourse,the
academic,insecurepartofmewaslike,You'regoingtocallmea
what?
Andshesaid,I'mgoingtocallyouastoryteller.AndIwaslike,
Whynotmagicpixie?
(Laughter)Iwaslike,Letmethinkaboutthis
forasecond.Itriedtocalldeeponmycourage.AndIthought,you
know,Iamastoryteller.I'maqualitativeresearcher.Icollectstories;
that'swhatIdo.Andmaybestoriesarejustdatawithasoul.Andmaybe
I'mjustastoryteller.AndsoIsaid,Youknowwhat?
Whydon'tyoujust
sayI'maresearcher-storyteller.Andshewent,Haha.There'snosuch
thing.(Laughter)SoI'maresearcher-storyteller,andI'mgoingtotalkto
youtoday--we'retalkingaboutexpandingperception--andsoIwantto
researchthat
myofpieceastoriesaboutsometellandyoutotalk
fundamentallyexpandedmyperceptionandreallyactuallychangedthe
waythatIliveandloveandworkandparent.
Andthisiswheremystorystarts.WhenIwasayoungresearcher,
doctoralstudent,myfirstyearIhadaresearchprofessorwhosaidto
us,Here'sthething,ifyoucannotmeasureit,itdoesnotexist.AndI
thoughthewasjustsweet-talkingme.Iwaslike,Really?
andhewas
like,Absolutely.AndsoyouhavetounderstandthatIhaveabachelor's
insocialwork,amaster'sinsocialwork,andIwasgettingmyPh.D.in
socialwork,somyentireacademiccareerwassurroundedbypeoplewho
kindofbelievedinthelife'smessy,loveit.AndI'mmoreofthe,life's
messy,cleanitup,organizeitandputitintoabento
box.(Laughter)AndsotothinkthatIhadfoundmyway,tofounda
careerthattakesme--really,oneofthebigsayingsinsocialworkis,
Leanintothediscomfortofthework.AndI'mlike,knockdiscomfort
upsidetheheadandmoveitoverandgetallA's.Thatwasmymantra.So
Iwasveryexcitedaboutthis.AndsoIthought,youknowwhat,thisis
thecareerforme,becauseIaminterestedinsomemessytopics.ButI
wanttobeabletomakethemnotmessy.Iwanttounderstandthem.I
wanttohackintothesethingsIknowareimportantandlaythecodeout
foreveryonetosee.
SowhereIstartedwaswithconnection.Because,bythetimeyou'rea
socialworkerfor10years,whatyourealizeisthatconnectioniswhy
we'rehere.It'swhatgivespurposeandmeaningtoourlives.Thisiswhat
it'sallabout.Itdoesn'tmatterwhetheryoutalktopeoplewhoworkin
socialjusticeandmentalhealthandabuseandneglect,whatweknowis
thatconnection,theabilitytofeelconnected,is--neurobiologicallythat's
howwe'rewired--it'swhywe'rehere.SoIthought,youknowwhat,I'm
goingtostartwithconnection.Well,youknowthatsituationwhereyou
getanevaluationfromyourboss,andshetellsyou37thingsyoudo
really
awesome,and
one
thing
--
an
opportunity
for
growth?
(Laughter)Andallyoucanthinkaboutisthatopportunityfor
growth,right?
Well,apparentlythisisthewaymyworkwentas
well,because,whenyouaskpeopleaboutlove,theytellyouabout
heartbreak.Whenyouaskpeopleaboutbelonging,they'lltellyoutheir
mostexcruciatingexperiencesofbeingexcluded.Andwhenyouask
peopleaboutconnection,thestoriestheytoldmewereabout
disconnection.
Soveryquickly--reallyaboutsixweeksintothisresearch--Iraninto
thisunnamedthingthatabsolutelyunraveledconnectioninawaythatI
didn'tunderstandorhadneverseen.AndsoIpulledbackoutofthe
researchandthought,Ineedtofigureoutwhatthisis.Anditturnedout
of
feartheunderstoodaseasilyreallyisshameshame.Andbeto
disconnection:
Istheresomethingaboutmethat,ifotherpeopleknowit
orseeit,thatIwon'tbeworthyofconnection?
ThethingsIcantellyou
aboutit:
it'suniversal;weallhaveit.Theonlypeoplewhodon't
experienceshamehavenocapacityforhumanempathyorconnection.No
onewantstotalkaboutit,andthelessyoutalkaboutitthemoreyou
haveit.Whatunderpinnedthisshame,thisI'mnotgoodenough,
--whichweallknowthatfeeling:
I'mnotblankenough.I'mnotthin
enough,richenough,beautifulenough,smartenough,promote