Ted演讲稿脆弱的力量.docx

Ted演讲稿脆弱的力量.docx

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Ted演讲稿脆弱的力量

BreneBrown：

Thepowerofvulnerability

So,I'llstartwiththis:

acoupleyearsago,aneventplannercalled

mebecauseIwasgoingtodoaspeakingevent.Andshecalled,andshe

said,I'mreallystrugglingwithhowtowriteaboutyouonthelittle

flier.AndIthought,Well,what'sthestruggle?

Andshesaid,Well,I

sawyouspeak,andI'mgoingtocallyouaresearcher,Ithink,butI'm

afraidifIcallyouaresearcher,noonewillcome,becausethey'llthink

you'reboringandirrelevant.（Laughter）AndIwaslike,Okay.Andshe

said,ButthethingIlikedaboutyourtalkisyou'reastoryteller.SoI

thinkwhatI'lldoisjustcallyouastoryteller.Andofcourse,the

academic,insecurepartofmewaslike,You'regoingtocallmea

what?

Andshesaid,I'mgoingtocallyouastoryteller.AndIwaslike,

Whynotmagicpixie?

（Laughter）Iwaslike,Letmethinkaboutthis

forasecond.Itriedtocalldeeponmycourage.AndIthought,you

know,Iamastoryteller.I'maqualitativeresearcher.Icollectstories;

that'swhatIdo.Andmaybestoriesarejustdatawithasoul.Andmaybe

I'mjustastoryteller.AndsoIsaid,Youknowwhat?

Whydon'tyoujust

sayI'maresearcher-storyteller.Andshewent,Haha.There'snosuch

thing.（Laughter）SoI'maresearcher-storyteller,andI'mgoingtotalkto

youtoday--we'retalkingaboutexpandingperception--andsoIwantto

researchthat

myofpieceastoriesaboutsometellandyoutotalk

fundamentallyexpandedmyperceptionandreallyactuallychangedthe

waythatIliveandloveandworkandparent.

Andthisiswheremystorystarts.WhenIwasayoungresearcher,

doctoralstudent,myfirstyearIhadaresearchprofessorwhosaidto

us,Here'sthething,ifyoucannotmeasureit,itdoesnotexist.AndI

thoughthewasjustsweet-talkingme.Iwaslike,Really?

andhewas

like,Absolutely.AndsoyouhavetounderstandthatIhaveabachelor's

insocialwork,amaster'sinsocialwork,andIwasgettingmyPh.D.in

socialwork,somyentireacademiccareerwassurroundedbypeoplewho

kindofbelievedinthelife'smessy,loveit.AndI'mmoreofthe,life's

messy,cleanitup,organizeitandputitintoabento

box.（Laughter）AndsotothinkthatIhadfoundmyway,tofounda

careerthattakesme--really,oneofthebigsayingsinsocialworkis,

Leanintothediscomfortofthework.AndI'mlike,knockdiscomfort

upsidetheheadandmoveitoverandgetallA's.Thatwasmymantra.So

Iwasveryexcitedaboutthis.AndsoIthought,youknowwhat,thisis

thecareerforme,becauseIaminterestedinsomemessytopics.ButI

wanttobeabletomakethemnotmessy.Iwanttounderstandthem.I

wanttohackintothesethingsIknowareimportantandlaythecodeout

foreveryonetosee.

SowhereIstartedwaswithconnection.Because,bythetimeyou'rea

socialworkerfor10years,whatyourealizeisthatconnectioniswhy

we'rehere.It'swhatgivespurposeandmeaningtoourlives.Thisiswhat

it'sallabout.Itdoesn'tmatterwhetheryoutalktopeoplewhoworkin

socialjusticeandmentalhealthandabuseandneglect,whatweknowis

thatconnection,theabilitytofeelconnected,is--neurobiologicallythat's

howwe'rewired--it'swhywe'rehere.SoIthought,youknowwhat,I'm

goingtostartwithconnection.Well,youknowthatsituationwhereyou

getanevaluationfromyourboss,andshetellsyou37thingsyoudo

really

awesome,and

one

thing

--

an

opportunity

for

growth?

（Laughter）Andallyoucanthinkaboutisthatopportunityfor

growth,right?

Well,apparentlythisisthewaymyworkwentas

well,because,whenyouaskpeopleaboutlove,theytellyouabout

heartbreak.Whenyouaskpeopleaboutbelonging,they'lltellyoutheir

mostexcruciatingexperiencesofbeingexcluded.Andwhenyouask

peopleaboutconnection,thestoriestheytoldmewereabout

disconnection.

Soveryquickly--reallyaboutsixweeksintothisresearch--Iraninto

thisunnamedthingthatabsolutelyunraveledconnectioninawaythatI

didn'tunderstandorhadneverseen.AndsoIpulledbackoutofthe

researchandthought,Ineedtofigureoutwhatthisis.Anditturnedout

of

feartheunderstoodaseasilyreallyisshameshame.Andbeto

disconnection:

Istheresomethingaboutmethat,ifotherpeopleknowit

orseeit,thatIwon'tbeworthyofconnection?

ThethingsIcantellyou

aboutit:

it'suniversal;weallhaveit.Theonlypeoplewhodon't

experienceshamehavenocapacityforhumanempathyorconnection.No

onewantstotalkaboutit,andthelessyoutalkaboutitthemoreyou

haveit.Whatunderpinnedthisshame,thisI'mnotgoodenough,

--whichweallknowthatfeeling:

I'mnotblankenough.I'mnotthin

enough,richenough,beautifulenough,smartenough,promote