619 The One With Joeys Fridge.docx

619 The One With Joeys Fridge.docx

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619TheOneWithJoeysFridge

619TheOneWithJoey’sFridge

[Scene:

JoeyandnowRachel'sapartment,Joeyhasthefridgepulledoutawayfromthewallandisintheprocessofpullingoffthecoolinggratebehindit.]

Joey:

Wellthatthingisclearingintheway!

Allright.Ah-ha!

（Hegrabsascrewdriverandstartstoattackthecompressor,onlyhecausesasmallshortcircuitandshockshimself.）Ah-ah!

!

Damnfridge!

（Rachelentersfromhernewroom.）

Rachel:

HiJoey,howyadoin’?

Joey:

Great!

Roomie!

Rachel:

Huh,yeahIguessweareroommatesnow.

Joey:

Yeah!

Well,nowthatyoubroughtitup,ourfridgeisbroken.Wehavetogetanewone.Now,Icheckedaroundandyourhalfis$400.Thanksalot.

Rachel:

I’mnotpayingforhalfofthat!

I’monlystayinghereuntilmyapartmentgetsfixed.

Joey:

LookRach,myparentsboughtthisfridgejustafterIwasborn,okay?

Now,Ihaveneverhadaproblemwithit.Thenyoushowupanditbreaks!

Whatdoesthattellya’?

Rachel:

Thatrefrigeratorsdon’tliveaslongaspeople.

Joey:

Allright,nowyouknowthattheATMwillonlyletsyoutakeout300atatime,I’lltakeacheckfortheotherhundred.

Rachel:

You’rejokin’right?

Joey:

OfcourseI’mjokin’!

Idon’ttakechecks.

Rachel:

ThankGodyou’repretty.（Exits.）

OpeningCredits

[Scene:

CentralPerk,Joey,Chandler,Monica,andPhoebearethereasRachelenters.]

Rachel:

Hey!

All:

Hi!

Hey!

Rachel:

Doyouguysknowanycuteguys?

Chandler:

Well,ofcourseIdo!

MygoodfriendJoeyoverhere.（PatsJoey’sarm,JoeypatsChandler’sshoulder,andChandlermotionsforJoeytosaythesameabouthim.）

Joey:

Oh,I’msorry.ThankyouChandler.

Rachel:

Anyway,there’sthisbigcharityballthisweekendandRalphLaurenboughtatable,soIkindahavetogo…

Monica:

What’sthecharity?

Rachel:

Idon’tknow,somethingeithertreesordisease—Ralphmumblesalot.

Monica:

DoesRalphmumblewhenyou’renotpayingattention?

Rachel:

Yeah!

It’sweird.Butthethingisneedtofindadate.

Phoebe:

Well,whatkindofguyareyoulookingfor?

Rachel:

Well,someonethathashisowntux,orhastheabilitytorentatux.

Chandler:

Sohehastobeamalewhohasatleast$50.

Joey:

Ooh!

Soclose.

（RossandElizabethenter.）

Ross:

Heyeverybody!

All:

Hi!

Ross:

Heyuh,thisisElizabeth.

Elizabeth:

Ohhi!

All:

Hi!

Elizabeth:

I’mthestudent.

Chandler:

（laughs）Isn’tshecute?

（OnMonica’sdeathstare）No!

Phoebe:

Y’know,thisisprobablynoneofmybusiness,butweren’tyouguyssupposedtonotbeseeninpublictogether?

Elizabeth:

Oh,we’renottogether.

Ross:

Ohno-no-no,we’rejusttwopeoplewhohappentorunintoeachotherhereatthecoffeehouse.（Hewinksather.）

Phoebe:

Oh,sly.

Elizabeth:

Well,Ireallywantedtomeetyouguys,butIhavetorun.I’llseeyoulater?

All:

Okay!

Elizabeth:

ByeRoss.

Ross:

Bye.

（Theykiss.）

Elizabeth:

Oops!

Ididnotmeantorunintoyoulikethatsir.

Ross:

Ohthatisquiteallrightma’am.（Elizabethexits.）

Chandler:

So,whyissheleaving?

Isitaschoolnightandshehasalotofhomeworktodo?

Ross:

Yes,hermolecularepidemiologypaperisduetomorrow.

Chandler:

Oh,tellhergoodluckwiththat.

Ross:

Anyoneelse?

Huh?

Bring‘emon!

Rachel:

Oo!

When’sherbirthday?

!

Ross:

Idon’tknowRachel,why?

Rachel:

Well,y’knowit’sjustbeensolongsinceI’vebeentoChuckieCheese.

Monica:

Oh,IlikeElizabeth.

Ross:

Wellthanks!

Monica:

Yeah.Infact,IlikehersomuchyoutellherIwantmycookiesearlythisyear!

Y’know,aboxofThinMintsandsomeTag-a-Longs.

Joey:

Hey-heycomeonyouguys,givehimabreak.Ross,seriously,how’sitgoingwithher?

Ross:

Well,actuallyit’sbeengreat.She’s20soshe’snotlookingforanythingtooserious,whichisperfectformerightnow.

Monica:

Wellthatisgreat.Andseriously,sheseemsverynice.

Ross:

Thanks.Iknowyouguysliketogivemeahardtimeandall,butitreallymeansalottomethatyoulikeher.Justknowingthatyouguysare…

Phoebe:

（interrupting）Okay,Igotagoodone.Okay,umm,whatisshe?

Like12?

[Scene:

Monica,Chandler,andPhoebe's,ChandlerissittingatthetableandMonicaisdoingsomethinginthekitchen.]

Monica:

Chandler,doyouthinkwetalkaboutourrelationshipenough?

Chandler:

Yeah.DowehaveanyFruitRoll-Ups?

Phoebe:

（entering）Hey!

Monica:

Hey!

Phoebe:

Okay,IjustthoughtoftheperfectguyforRacheltotaketoherthing.

Chandler:

Ohthat’ssofunnybecausewefoundsomeonetoo.

Phoebe:

Ohthat’sgood,Iguessshe’llhaveachoicebetweenmyguyandyourweirdo.

Chandler:

Whywouldourguybeaweirdo?

Phoebe:

‘Causethat’sjustyourtaste.

Monica:

（laughssarcastically）Rachelisnotgoingtopickyourstupidguy.

Phoebe:

Ohyeah?

Monica:

Yeah!

Phoebe:

Myguyisalawyerwhohasvolunteerwork.And,hehasoneofthese（Shesqueezestheskinonherchintogethertoform…）

Chandler:

Afaceass?

Phoebe:

Achindimple!

Monica:

Well,uhy’know,ourguyworkswithChandlerandhe’sreallyniceandsmartandhe’sagreatdresser!

Phoebe:

Haveyouseenyourguy’sbody?

Chandler:

No,ourguyisjustafloatinghead.

Phoebe:

Wellmyguyisspectacular.Okay?

He’samassageclientandonetimeumm,whenhewasonthetable,Ilookedatit.AndImeanallofit.

Monica:

You’renotsupposedtolook!

Phoebe:

Ohyeah,liketherearepoliceforthat!

Chandler:

（horrified）Wait!

Youlook?

You-youmassagedme.

Phoebe:

Iknow.（Laughs.）

Monica:

Allrightfine,yourguymayhaveagreatbody,butourguyisreallyfunny.

Phoebe:

Oh,Chandlerfunny?

Monica:

Ourguy’sagreatdancer!

Phoebe:

Myguyiswellread.

Chandler:

Ourguyhasgreathair.

Phoebe:

Myguyhasgreatteeth!

Chandler:

Ourguysmellsincredible.

Monica:

（ToChandler）Doyouwantourguytobeyourguy?

[Scene:

JoeyandRachel'sapartment,ChandlerisenteringtofindJoeybingeingonthefoodfromthefridge.Joeyisn’tdoingallthatwell.]

Chandler:

Hey.

Joey:

Huh.

Chandler:

Well,you…don’tlookgoodJoe.

Joey:

Thefridgebroke.Ihavetoeateverything.Coldcuts,icecream,limes—Hey,whatwasinthatbrownjar?

Chandler:

That’sstillinthere?

!

Joey:

Notanymore.Soanyway,howdoyouwanttopayme?

Chandler:

Isthisaserviceyou’reprovidingme?

Joey:

No!

No!

No!

Formynewfridge—ournewfridge!

Chandler:

Ournewfridge?

Idon’tlivehereanymore.

Joey:

Sowhat?

Look,supposewewereadivorcedcouple.

Chandler:

Uh-huh.

Joey:

AndIgotcustodyofthekid,right?

Nowsupposethekiddiesand-andIgottabuyanewkid.

Chandler:

（notquitesurewhereJoey’sgoingandisalittleworried）Okay…

Joey:

（pause）Giveme$400!

[Scene:

Ross’soffice,he’sunlockinghisofficedoorasElizabethwalksup.]

Elizabeth:

ProfessorGeller?

Ross:

Hmm?

（TurnsaroundandseesthatitsElizabeth）Oh,astudentIdon’tknow.

Elizabeth:

IwaswonderingifIcouldtalktoyouforamoment?

Ross:

Yes,yesofcourse,what-whatwouldthisberegarding?

Elizabeth:

Makingoutinyouroffice.

Ross:

Shh!

（Laughsthencomposeshimself）Ofcourse,whydon’twegoinside?

（TheygoinsideandRossclosesthedoor.WhenheturnsaroundElizabethwalksuptohim,pusheshimbackagainstthedoor,andstartskissinghim.）

Ross:

Oh-ooh!

Elizabeth:

What?

Ross:

Doorknob!

Doorknob!

Elizabeth:

Oh!

Sorry!

Umm,Iactuallydoneedtotalktoyou.

Ross:

Oh,okay.What-whatabout?

Elizabeth:

Springvacation.

Ross:

Springvacation.

Elizabeth:

Yeah,wehavetimeoffandalotofpeoplearegoingontrips…

（Anotherprofessorbargesin.）

ProfessorFeesen:

ProfessorGeller!

Ross:

（quicklyjumpingawayfromElizabeth）Yes,professorFeesen-sen-stenlger…I’llbewithyouinonemoment.（ToElizabeth）So,IwilltakeoneboxoftheThinMints.（AndheushersElizabethoutoftheoffice.）

[Scene:

JoeyandRachel'sapartment,Ross,Chandler,andJoeyareentering.]

Ross:

Youdon’tunderstand!

Elizabethwasabouttoaskmetogoonatripwithher!

Isthattakingitslow?

!

No,I’mnotreadyforthis!

Okay?

What-whatdoItellher?

Chandler:

Justtellherthetruth!

Tellheryou’renotready.

Ross:

Icandothat.Oh-oh,whatifshegetsupset?

Chandler:

ThenyoudistractherwithaBarbiedoll.

Joey:

Or!

Youcanjust,y’know…（HewalksupclosetowhisperinRoss’searandwhenhegetstherehepushesRossintothefridge.）

Ross:

Whatthehellareyoudoing?

Joey:

What?

WhatthehellamIdoing?

Youjustbrokemyfridge!

Ross:

What?

!

What?

Howdoyou,howdoyouevenknowitsbroken?

!

Joey:

Oh-ho-ho,youthinkIdon’tknowwhatbreaksmyfridge?

Excuseme!

（Heopensthedoorandfeelsinside.）Wellwhatdoyouknow!

Broken!

That’llbe$400!

Chandler:

Joey,Isawyoupushhim!

Joey:

（pause）Youpushedhim!

Ross:

Joey,Ididnotbreakthis!

Okay?

（Heopensthefreezerandsmellsinsideandrecoilsindisgust.）Thathasbeenbrokenforawhile.

Joey:

Allright.Chandler,doyourememberhowItoldyouaboutourfridge?

Chandler:

Uh-huh.

Joey:

Istillhaven’tgottenacheckforyourhalfyet.

Ross:

Donotgivehimanymoney!

Joey:

I’mnottalkingtoyou!

Youbrokemyfridge!

[Scene:

Ross’soffice,he’sopeningthedoortoElizabeth.]

Elizabeth:

YouwantedtoseemeProfessorGeller?

Ross:

Yes.Yes!

Please,comein.

（Shedoesso,heclosesthedoor,andshepusheshimagainstthedoorknobagain.）

Ross:

Oo-oo!

Elizabeth:

Doorknob?

Ross:

Yeah,itkindagrowsonyou.（Theybothlaugh.）Actually,Iwantedtofinishtalkingtoyouaboutuh,springvacation.

Elizabeth:

Ohgood.

Ross:

Look,I…（Hehastroublesittinginhischair.）Look,I’mhavingagreattimewithyouandIjustdon’twantustomovetofastorputtomuchpressureonus.So,I’msorryIjustdon’tthinkweshouldgoawaytogetheryet.It’s-it’stoosoon.

Elizabeth:

Ross,IthinkyoumisunderstoodwhatIwassaying.IjustwantedtotellyouthatI’mgoingtoFloridaforacoup