the big bang theory S2E8.docx

the big bang theory S2E8.docx

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thebigbangtheoryS2E8

看啊正在放"土星三号"呢

Oh,look,Saturn3ison.

我不想看"土星三号""深空九号"更好看

Idon'twanttowatchSaturn3.DeepSpaceNineisbetter.

"深空九号"哪有"土星三号"好看

HowisDeepSpaceNinebetterthanSaturn3?

简单的减法告诉你好看六个数儿

Simplesubtractionwilltellyouit'ssixbetter.

折衷一下看"巴比伦五号"好了

Compromise.WatchBabylon5.

这是哪门子折衷啊?

Inwhatsenseisthatacompromise?

恩五处在三和九之间...

Well,fiveispartwaybetweenthree...

算了

Nevermind.

要不这样我们来用石头剪子布决定

I'lltellyouwhat.Howaboutwegorock-paper-scissors?

不行我不干

Ooh,Idon'tthinkso.

数据统计显示在石头-剪子-布中

Anecdotalevidencesuggeststhatinthegameofrock-paper-scissors,

由于出法太少相熟的玩家有75%到80%的可能性会打平

playersfamiliarwitheachotherwilltie75to80%ofthetimeduetothelimitednumberof

outcomes.

Spock:

星际旅行中的尖耳朵副舰长

我建议采用石头-剪刀-布-蜥蜴-史波克

Isuggestrock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock.

什么

What?

很简单

It'sverysimple.

剪子剪布

Scissorscutspaper.

布包石头

Papercoversrock.

石头压蜥蜴

Rockcrusheslizard.

蜥蜴毒死史波克

LizardpoisonsSpock.

Sheldon出的手势为Spock的常用手势

史波克轰碎剪子

Spocksmashesscissors.

剪子腰斩蜥蜴

Scissorsdecapitateslizard.

蜥蜴吃布

Lizardeatspaper.

布否定史波克

PaperdisprovesSpock.

史波克蒸发石头

Spockvaporizesrock.

再加上一如既往的规则石头砸剪子

Andasitalwayshas,rockcrushesscissors.

行啊我应该会玩了

Okay,IthinkIgotit.

石头-剪刀-布-蜥蜴-史波克

Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock!

嗨伙计们

Hello,boys.

啊嗬朋友

Ahoy,matey.

看见这个眼罩了对吧

Noticedtheeyepatch,didyou?

这是我泡妞宝典中的一种技巧

It'sallpartofatechniqueI'vebeenstudyingforpickingupwomen.

给别人视觉上的冲击力让你显的与众不同

Youemployavisualdisplaydesignedtomakeyourselfdistinctiveandmemorable.

就像雄孔雀有漂亮的羽毛或者发情的狒狒有隆起的臀部一样

Oh,yes,likethemalepeacockwithbrilliantplumageortheruttingbaboonwithengorgedhindquarters.

或者可以这么说像一个得红眼病的犹太男

Orinthiscase,thebarmitzvahboywithpinkeye.

尽管嘲笑我吧不过这招确实有用

Mockmeifyouwill,butitworks.

你穿成这样去泡吧寻找你的目标然后抛出几句"反话"

Youshowupataclubinsomethingdistinctive,scopeoutyourtargetandtossoutsomenegs.

啥叫"反话"?

Whatarenegs?

就是反向的恭维让漂亮女性忘了她们的小缺陷

Anegisanegativecomplimentthatthrowsaprettywomanoffhergame,

好比这样"通常情况牙有些大的女士不会让我动心但你就不一样了"

like"Normally,I'mnotturnedonbybigteeth,butonyou,theywork."

我有一大堆招数呢谁想做我的泡妞搭档

Igotawholelistof'em.Whowantstobemywingman?

你用不着找个泡妞搭档

You'renotgonnaneedawingman.

你应该找个护理搭档

You'regonnaneedaparamedic.

Howard你的摩托挡住我的车了

Howard,yourscooter'sblockingmycar.

喔你又得红眼病了?

Aw,didyougetpinkeyeagain?

第一步她注意到了我的眼罩

Stepone:

shenoticestheeyepatch.

这么说吧Penny不是所有女人都和你一样头发油油的还这么性感

MayIsay,Penny,notalotofwomencouldlookashotasyoudowithsuchgreasyhair?

赶紧把你那破摩托车开走不然我马上扔进垃圾堆

Yeah,justmoveyourstupidscooterbeforeIpickitupandthrowitinthedumpster.

对不起我现在不看克隆人战争的电视剧我得先看电影版

I'msorry,butI'mnotgoingtowatchTheCloneWarsTVseriesuntilI'veseenTheCloneWarsmovie.

乔治卢卡斯肯定会让我失望就顺着他的顺序来吧

IprefertoletGeorgeLucasdisappointmeintheorderheintended.

我现在就要看

Well,Iwanttowatchitnow.

那又到了石头-剪子-布-蜥蜴-史波克的经典一刻了

ThenIbelievewe'vearrivedatanotherquintessentialrock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spockmoment.

你爱看什么看什么吧

Watchwhateveryouwant.

我看到你的魄力了

Isawwhatyoudidthere.

我的魄力?

What'dIdo?

嗨Howard什么事

Hello.Hey,Howard.What'swrong?

好好我们这就过去

Okay.Okay,we'llberightthere.

发生什么事了

Whathappened?

Howard在火星探测器实验室他说遇到麻烦了

Howard'sattheMarsRoverlab.Hesayshe'sintrouble.

-五级战备状态-五级战备状态?

-Defcon5.-Defcon5?

这么说用不着急着赶过去

Well,there'snoneedtorush.

什么?

What?

五级战备状态意味着"没有危险"

Defcon5means"nodanger."

一级战备状态才是危机来临

Defcon1isacris.

五级怎么会还不如一级?

Howcan5notbeworsethan1?

就是啊星际迷航第五部比第一部难看

Yeah,StarTrekVworsethanI.

首先来说我们比较的是影片的品质而不是激烈程度

Okay,firstofall,that'sacomparisonofquality,notintensity.

再说星战迷航第一部差第五部不止一个数量级

Secondly,StarTrekIisorders-of-magnitudeworsethanStarTrekV.

你开什么玩笑

Areyoujoking?

星际迷航5简直就是"没有最烂只有更烂"的最好诠释

StarTrekVisthestandardagainstwhichallbadnessismeasured.

不对不对

No,no.

星际迷航5只是剧本失败导演很烂

StarTrekVhasspecificfailuresinwritinganddirection,

但星际迷航1所有部分都很烂艺术执导服装配乐音效剪辑

whileStarTrekIfailsacrosstheboard:

artdirection,costuming,music,soundediting.

表再纠结战备状态了赶快走吧

CanwejustforgetIsaidDefconandgo?

星际迷航5

StarTrekV.

至少你得承认"星际迷航4:

重回地球"是最好看的这毫无争议

Allright,willyouatleaststipulatethatStarTrekIV:

TheVoyageHomeisinarguablythebest?

Khan也是印度及某些中亚国家的统治者

送你五个字凯恩的愤怒（星际迷航2）

Ihavethreewordsforyou:

WrathofKhan.

-感谢上帝你们可来了-什么事这么急

-Oh,thankGod,you'rehere.-What'stheemergency?

我把火星探测器卡在一条裂沟里了

IgottheMarsRoverstuckinaditch.

在哪里?

Where?

Bekersfield郊外一条脏兮兮的高速公路上

OnadustyhighwayjustoutsideBakersfield.

还能在哪儿啊?

!

火星呗!

Wheredoyouthink?

OnMars!

Howard没事吧?

Howard,iseverythingokay?

当然宝贝我就来

Yeah,baby,I'llberightin.

你还把姑娘带进了火星探测器控制室?

YoubroughtagirltotheMarsRovercontrolroom?

是啊我在酒吧搭上她的她是个医生

Yeah,Ipickedherupinthebar.She'sadoctor.

送一次免费的钡餐灌肠我妈肯定再不介意她不是犹太人了

Onefreebariumenema,andmymotherwon'tcareshe'snotJewish.

等一下这么说眼罩和反向恭维奏效了

Waitaminute.Sotheeyepatchandtheinsultsworked?

没有那里还有三个带眼罩的

No,therewerethreeotherguyswitheyepatches.

简直一败涂地

Itwasafiasco.

奏效的是这招:

"你想不想参观一处秘密政府设施?

"

Whatdidworkwas,"How'dyouliketovisitasecretgovernmentfacility?

"

那你到底要我们做些什么?

Sowhatexactlydoyouwantustodo?

我要你和Raj帮我把火星探测器从沟里拖出来

IneedyouandRajtohelpmegettheRoveroutoftheditch

你呢在别人发现之前把Stephanie从这带走

andIneedyoutogetStephanieoutbeforesomebodynoticesshe'shere.

她进来都没开证明

Shedoesn'texactlyhaveclearance.

真的吗?

这儿不许泡廉价酒馆的女人进来

Really?

Theydon'tletstrangewomenfromhonky-tonks

拿遥远星球上价值2亿的政府装备当玩具玩?

comeinandplaywith$200milliongovernmentprojectsondistantplanets?

好吧我错了

Yes,Iwasbad.

也许她会给我一巴掌

Maybeshe'llspankme.

开始行动了好吧?

Canwepleasemoveon?

嗨Howard时间不早了我能开始操纵这玩意儿了吗?

Hey,Howard,youknow,it'sgettinglate,sodoIgettodrivethisthingorwhat?

不好意思出了点状况

Yeah.No.I'msorry,butsomething'scomeup.

火星探测器...

KindofaMarsRover...

只有Howard才能解决的火星探测器...

MarsRovercanHowardcomeover...

的状况

situation.

所以我的朋友Leonard会送你回家

SomyfriendLeonardisgonnatakeyouhome.

-哦好吧咱们走Leonard朋友-好吧

-Oh,okay.Let'sgo,friendLeonard.-Okay.

-我会给你打电话的-好的

-I'llcallya.-Yeah.

这么说你和Howard一样是个科学家?

SoareyouascientistlikeHoward?

没有哪个科学家和Howard一样

Noone'sascientistlikeHoward.

我老妈肯定会爱死她的

Mymotherissogonnaloveher.

真甜蜜阿也许她们会一起拼车来联邦监狱探视你

Hownice.Maybetheycancarpoolwhentheyvisityouinfederalprison.

对不起我打断你了

I'msorry.Itotallyinterruptedyou.

你刚才说...说些什么?

What,what,whatwereyousaying?

我就是说Howard是个棒小伙

JustsaidHoward'saterrificguy.

他很有幽默感的

He'sgotagreatsenseofhumor.

也爱他老妈...爱极了

Heloveshismother...alot.

大家都觉得"太过了"

Peoplesay"toomuch."

我就喜欢你这种仗义朋友型的

Ireallylikethatyou'resuchaloyalfriend.

对我很仗义的

Yeah,Iamloyal.

当然要整体来看

Youknow,ifyoulookatthebigpicture.

我就好奇问一句你对他有过感觉吗?

Outofcuriosity,didheeverhaveashotwithyou?

不是吧?

那家伙戴着独眼罩的诶

Areyouinsane?

Theguywaswearinganeyepatch.

那为什么你...

Thenwhydidyou...

他说我可以在火星上开车玩

HesaidthatIcoulddriveacaronMars.

了解了

Gotit.

我们会再见面吗?

So,canIseeyouagain?

现在你肯定看不见我咯

You'renotgonnaseemenow.

爽哟

Cool.

有反应了吗?

Anything?

其实我是在查我的电邮

Actually,Iwasjustcheckingmye-mail.

但探测器还是没反应

But,uh,no,theRoverisnotresponding.

此刻最恰当的比喻应该包括一条臭水沟

Ibelievetheappropriatemetaphorhereinvolvesariverofexcrement

还有一艘没有推动器的土著船

andaNativeAmericanwatervesselwithoutanymeansofpropulsion.

等等总归有别的办法吧

Hangon.There'sgottobeotheroptions.

也可以试试给独立宇航员联盟打电话

YoucouldtrycallingTriple-A.

不过根据航空航天局最新时间表他们35年后才能到那儿

ButbasedonNASA'slatesttimetable,theywon'tgettherefor35years.

而且就算到了你也得排号

PlusIunderstandyouhavetobestandingnexttothevehiclewithyourcardwhentheyarrive.

牛叉叉的（snap有"折断一意"）

Oh,snap.

什么断了?

Snapwhat?

好吧那我们得改B计划了

Okay,IguesswehavetoturntoPlanB.

B计划是啥?

What'sPlanB?

洗白硬盘销毁监视录像带

Erasealltheharddrives,scrapthesurveillancetapes,

擦干净我们的指纹开溜

wipeourfingerprintsoffeverysurfaceandrun.

这咋不是A计划呢?

Whywasn'tthatPlanA?

航空航天局发言人称由于数据丢失

ANASAspokesmanstatesthatduetothelossofdata,

很难确定火星探测器的故障原因

theywillmostlikelybeunabletodeterminethecauseoftheMarsRover'smalfunction.

这已不是火星探险计划第一次如此失望而终了

ThisisnotthefirsttimeanexploratorymissiontoMarshasendedindisappointment.

还好我们有B计划

ThankGodforPlanB.

Howard你不是说过你在做火星探测器的工作吗?

Howard,didn'tyousayyouworkedontheMarsRover?

没你记错了

No,you'remistaken.

没我们第一次见面你就说如果和你约会我就可以在火星上开车玩

Yeah,whenwefirstmet,yousaidthatifIwentoutwithyou,IcoulddriveacaronMars.

搞不懂你在说什么

Idon'tknowwhatyou'retalkingabout.

抱歉离开下

Willyouallexcuseme?

Leonard微妙的暗示了他想和我单独谈谈

Leonardissubtlysignalingthathe'dliketotalktomeinprivate.

不我很清楚地记得

No.Yeah,Irememberspecifically.

你一张嘴就问我是否来自火星因为我的翘臀地球罕见

YoustartedbyaskingifIwasfromMarsbecausemyasswasoutofthisworld.

很有我风格但不是我啦

Well,thatdoessoundlikeme,butno.

-出什么状况了吗?

-是的

-Istheresomeproblem?

-Yeah.

我得溜出去一会儿

Listen,Ihavetokindasneakoutforawhile.

好的拜拜

Allright,good-bye.

不等下!

No,wait!

要是有人问我去哪儿了你就说不知道

IfanyoneasksyouwhereIwent,youdon'tknow.

你要去哪儿?

Whereareyougoing?

不能告诉你

Ican'ttellyouthat.

谁会问我呢?

Whowouldaskme?

也不能告诉你这个

Ican'ttellyouthat,either.

你带我进来就是要告诉我你不能告诉我

Soyoubroughtmeinheretoinformmethatyoucan'ttellme

你要去哪儿也不能告诉我谁会问起?

whereyou'regoingandyoucan'ttellmewhomightask?

对呀是我欠考虑

Yeah,Ireallydidn'tthinkthisthrough.

-Leonard先别走-啥?

-Leonard,amoment.-What?

要是有人...当然不知到底是谁了...

Ifsomeone--andofcourse,wedon'tknowwhothiswouldbe--

问起你去哪儿我该说什么呢?

doesaskwhereyou'vegone,whatsho