SOUTH PARK1010Word文件下载.docx

SOUTH PARK1010Word文件下载.docx

《SOUTH PARK1010Word文件下载.docx》由会员分享，可在线阅读，更多相关《SOUTH PARK1010Word文件下载.docx（35页珍藏版）》请在冰豆网上搜索。

MATTSTONEviaCOMEDYCENTRALandCOMEDYPARTNERSinassociationwithIMPORTANTTELEVISION.Thistranscriptispostedherewithouttheirpermission,approval,authorizationorendorsement.Anyreproduction,duplication,distributionordisplayofthismaterialinanyformorbyanymeansisexpresslyprohibited.Itisabsolutelyforbiddentouseitforcommercialgain.Forentertainmentandeducationalpurposesonly.Noinfringementintended.

SUMMARY:

CartmanisappointedtothepostofSchoolHallwayMonitoratSouthParkElementary.Inhisnewrole,Cartmantakesitpersonallywhenaninfractioniscommittedinhisjurisdiction.WhenKylediscoversthatateacherishavingsexwithastudent,heandCartmanhavetoteamuptoputastoptotheinappropriatebehavior.

TRANSCRIPT:

[SouthParkElementary,day,schoolhall.Thebellringsandthestudentsgototheirlockers.StanandKyleputsomebooksawayasCartmansharesanencounterwithKennyandtheothertwo.]

Cartman:

Andsothen,Iputmyfingerupmybutthole,right?

AndIwalkeduptoKellyNelson,andIsaid,"

Doyousmelllemongrrass?

andshesmelledmyfingerandpuked!

Hehehehe.Oh,guys,youshouldhavebeenthere.

AHallMonitor:

[aginger,hetapsonCartman'

srightshoulder]Eric,Ihavetotakeyoutotheprincipal'

soffice.

What?

Ididn'

tdoit,KellyNelson'

saliar!

HallMonitor:

I'

vebeeninstructedtobringyoutotheprincipal'

Oh,suckmyballsyougingerJewrathallmonitor!

Punkassstoolie,whothefuckdoyouthinkyouare?

!

mjustdoin'

myjob.

[tauntingandjabbingathim]I'

mjuhduhduhduhhh!

Doyouknowwhyyou'

reahallwaymonitor?

Becauseyoudon'

thaveanyfriends!

Youshouldkillyourself!

PrincipalVictoria:

EricCartman,reporttotheprincipal'

sofficeimmediately.

AwGoddamnit!

[Theprincipal'

soffice,momentslater.Aknockisheardatthedoor.]

Comeonin,Eric.[Cartmanandthehallmonitorenter]

[apologizes,butinablas?

fashion]I'

msorry,PrincipalVictoria.Ididn'

tmeantodoit,howcouldIhavebeensofoolish?

Eric,thereasonwecalledyouinhereisbecauseitisyourturntobetheschoolhallwaymonitor.[theformerhallmonitorremoveshisbeltandsashandpreparestogivethemtoCartman]

Thehallmonit-me?

Mr.Mackey:

Youneedtowatchforbadbehavior,andmakesureanyoneinthehallsduringclasshassahallpass.M'

kay?

[Cartmanreceivesthesashandtheformerhallmonitorleaves]

Ifanyonedoesn'

t,youhavetheauthoritytobringthemtome.

[incredulous]Auth-authoritih?

NowEric,beingtheschoolhallywaymonitorisabigresponsibility.M'

Itisimportantthatyoutakethejobseriously,andthatyoudon'

tabusethepower.

Ahem.Me?

[Amontage.Firstsceneistheschoolhall.CartmanpopsupdressedasDogtheBountyHunter.Hewalksaroundandstrikesafewposes.HepocketsacanofBearSprayintoitsholster,makessurehehashandcuffs,thenresetshisfakefacialhair.Next,hepretendshe'

sdrivingarealcar.Backatschool,hewalksintoviewandstrikesonemoredramaticpose,thenthePOVchangesandhe'

swalkingtowardsthecamera.OnemorescenehashimturningthesteeringwheelofanSUV.]

There'

sfearanddarknessallaroundyou

Thecriminalsareontherun

Nouseinnothavingyourhallpass

lltakeyoutotheprincipal'

causeI'

mtheDawg

IamtheDawg,thebigbadDawg

TheHallwayMonitor!

[laughsuntilahandappearsandknocksonthedriver'

swindow.]

CarSalesman:

[opensthedoor]Hey,kid,getouttathere.

That'

scool.I'

mdonemakingmyvideoanyways.[leaves.Thevideoshootresumesatschool.Cartmanisonthejobwhenheturnsaroundandseessomeoneelseinthehall.Hestrikesadramaticposeandyells]Hallpass!

Showmeyourhallpass!

Boy:

[shovestheboyintothelockersandwhipsouttheBearSpray]Youknowwhatthisis?

Thisisthemacethattheyuseonbears,faggot!

Nowletmeseeyourhallpass!

It'

srighthere.[reachesintohispocketandpullsitouttoshowhim]

[releasestheboy]Allright,cool,brah.GowithChrist.[turnsrightandwalksaway.Theboyisn'

tquitefinished]

Youcan'

tjustpushmeupagainstthe-

[kickstheboyaway]Argh!

[fliesoutofview]Aah!

[marcheson]IamtheDawg,thebigbad-[stops]OhmyGod!

[seesawadofpaperonthefloor,runsuptopickitupandchecksitout]Whatthefuckisthis?

[Kindergarten.Thekindergartners'

newteacherisshownteachingthemaboutshapes.She'

sdrawnacircleandisnowdrawingasquare]

Teacher:

Andsothisshapewithfoursidesiswhat,class?

[burstsintotheclassroom]Boyarrrgh!

[everyoneturnstoseewhoitis.CartmanwalksuptoIke]IkeBroflovski!

Youlitteringmyhallway,brah?

Whatareyoudoing?

Ifoundthisinthehallway.[unfoldsthewadofpaper-it'

sadrawingIkemadeofhisteacherwithheartsallaroundher]ApparentlyyourstudentIkehasacrushonyou.[Ikelooksaroundnervously]Yougotacrushonyourteacher,brah?

Keepitoutofmyhallway!

GowithChrist.Hereyougo.[handsthedrawingtotheteacherandheadsforthedoor]

Idon'

tthinkthat'

sreallynecessary.

Hey!

Idon'

ttellyouhowtorunyourclass,don'

ttellmehowtorunmyhallway!

[leavesandclosesthedoor]

Fillmore:

Ikehasacrushonteacher!

Class:

[theclasslaughs]

senough,class!

[theperiodendsandtheteacherbeginserasingthechalkboard]Okay,wellseeyoutomorrow,everybody.Ike,couldyoustayjustafewminutes,please?

[Fillmoretakeshiscrayongandleaves.TheteachermovestowardsIke]Ike,I'

mveryflattered,byallofyourlovenotes,butIneedtobeclear.See,there'

vebeenalotoffemaleteachersonthenewslatelywhohavebeenhavingrelationshipswithyoungmalestudentsand,peoplemightgetthewrongidea,eventhough...Idoadmireyou.Youaresosmartandgifted.Soomatureforyourage.

Ike:

tlikeMason.

Youlisten,andyoureallycareaboutwhatIhavetosay.YoumakemefeelthingsI'

venever...[reachesouttoIkeandtoucheshisrighthand]feltbefore.[sheandIkeholdhands,butsheletsgoandleavesherseat]Ike,thisiscrazy.I'

myourteacher.Howcanwebehavignthesefeelingsforeachother?

[turnsaroundandfaceshim]You'

resomysterious,andIcan'

t...andIcan'

t...[beginstoswoon.Amontagefollows]

[SheandIkerubnosesasaheartframesthem.Theirshadowsrushupandhugeachother,thentwirlaroundtogetherasheartspulsateoutward.Theyholdhadnsagain.Shetakeshimouttodinnerandchattersaway.Shetakeshimouttoice-skateataskatingrink.Shetakeshimouttoadinnerpicnicbeforeasettingsun-theysharewineandcheese.Shetakeshimoutforarideonaduckboat-shedoesthedriving.Shehasanartistdrawapictureofthem.Theyhopontoamerry-go-roundandgetonhorses-sheblowsakissathimthere.ShetakeshimhomeandwatchesTVwithhim]

REOSpeedwagon:

AndIcan'

tfightthisfeelin'

anymore

veforgottenwhatIstartedfightin'

for

AndifIhavetocrawluponthefloor

Comecrashin'

throughyourdoor

Baby,Icantfightthisfeelin'

anymore

[thelastsceneisthetwoofthemunderthecovers-lookslikeshewashavingfun]

Thatwasunbelievable.I'

veneverfeltlikesuchawomanbefore.They'

llsayourloveiswrong,butwecan'

tletanybodyknow;

they'

llneverunderstand.[rollstoherrightandstartsmassagingIketenderly]Weweremeanttobe,Iknowit.Howelsecouldsexbethatincredible?

[laysbackdown]

[oops]Ikemadeanuno.

[Theboy'

sroomatSouthParkElementary.Buttersrushesinandtowardstheurinal.Onceinplace,hesetshishallpassaside,dropshispants,raiseshisshirt,andletsfly]

Butters:

Heythere,Mr.Wiener,whattayaknow?

Doyaneedtotinkletinkle?

[falsetto]YesIdothinkso.

[burstsintotherestroom.Buttersisstartled]Hands?

Letmeseethosehands!

[backsoff]Haaaah!

[advances]Where'

syourpass?

Showmeyourhallpass,brah!

[looksaroundfranticallyforit]It'

s,it'

s...Ijusthadit!

[keepslooking,butCartmangrabshim...]

Iknewit!

[...slamshisheadagainstatoiletstall,thentosseshimtothefloor,cuffshim,andescortshimoutoftherestroom.Buttersdoesn'

tgetachancetopullhispantsup.ThehallpassremainsonthesinkwhereButtersleftit.]

[Thewaitingroomoutsidetheprincipaloffice,momentslater.CartmanandButterswaitonthebenchoutside,andButtersstillhashispantsaroundhisankles]

Look,brah,Ihadtobringyouin,butIdon'

thaveanyhardfeelin'

sagainstyouallright?

Huh?

Here,youneedasmoke,brah?

Uhh,okay.[CartmanputsacigaretteintoButters'

mouth,thenlightsitforhim]

You'

vegottagiveyourselfovert