友谊文档格式.docx
《友谊文档格式.docx》由会员分享,可在线阅读,更多相关《友谊文档格式.docx(31页珍藏版)》请在冰豆网上搜索。
![友谊文档格式.docx](https://file1.bdocx.com/fileroot1/2023-2/1/e3d2a63e-a6ab-4e94-82ec-ea6b369c7451/e3d2a63e-a6ab-4e94-82ec-ea6b369c74511.gif)
suptoyoubutifyoudowanttogiveityourbestshot,detoxingafriendshipgonebadcanresultineithergainingahealthier,strongerfriendship,oryoucanbefreedfromhavingtospendanymoretimewithsomeonewhohasbeendraggingyoudown.
Timeforreflection
Takeamomenttoreflectoveryourfriendship.Ifthefriendshipfeelstoxicwhereonceitfeltfantastic,trytopinpointwhatdoesn'
tfeelrightaboutitanymore.Someindicatorsofemotional"
toxicity"
inafriendshipinclude:
Feelingdownorevendepressedwhenyourfriendisabout.
[1]Nolongergettingexcitedtoseeyourfriend,seeingthemhasbecomesomethingyoufeelobligedtoendure.Youfeelthatyourfriendalwaystalksaboutthemselves,evenwhenit'
sclearyouneedashouldertocryon.
[2]Yourfriend'
ssetofvaluesandtheirambitionsseemtohavechangedagreatdealfromyours,totheextentwhereyoudon'
tseeeyetoeyeonmostthingsanymore.
[3]Haveyoudiscoveredthatyourfriendgaveyoubadadviceonpurpose?
[4]Itcanbejustasbadifyourfriendisalwaysagreeingwithyouwithoutcaringabouttheconsequencesbecauseheorshecannotbebotheredtosetyoustraight.
[5]Itseemsthatyourfriendonly"
needs"
youwhenheorshehasbadnewstoshare.
[6]Itfeelsasifyourfriendisusingyouasameanstomakeherselforhimselffeelbetterbybelittlingyou.
[7]Yourfriendhastakentocriticizingyouallthetimeorbeingjudgmentalaboutyourchoicesanddecisionswithoutcause.Rumorsstartedbyyourfriend(confirmedbyothers)havereachedyourears.Yourfriendhastakentodroppingyouinamessatthelastmoment,hinderingyourprogress,orhasbecomereallyunreliableandwon'
tfollowthroughonpromisesmadetoyou,timeandagain.
[8]Youfeelmanipulated,demeaned,poisoned,ordownplayedbyyourfriend.
[9]Considerwhatotherbehaviorsorattitudeshaveleadyoutofeelingsouraboutyourfriendshiptogether.
Takingallofyourfeelingsintoaccount,decidehowyoufeelaboutattemptingtosalvagethefriendship.Itisimportanttoreachadecisionastowhetherornotyou'
recomfortabletryingtodetoxthefriendship,orwhetherabetterbetwouldbeletitgo.Evenifyoudogivedetoxingachance,theendresultmightbethatyoustillneedtoletgo,sobepreparedforthispossibilityinallevents.Whenconsideringtheworthoftryingtodetoxyourfriendship,thefollowingthingsareworthkeepinginmind:
Thedurationofyourfriendshiptogetherandallthegoodtimesyou'
veshared.Whetheryouhavetocontinueseeingyourfriendinaworkorsocialcontext.Theopennessofyourfriendtodiscussingfeelings,behaviorandtoacceptingthatheorsheisn'
trightallthetime.Somepeopleremainadamantthattheyareright,nomatterwhatyousay,thattheycanprovetobeimpossiblewhenitcomestoopeningyourheartorreasoningwiththem.Otherissuesgoingoninyourfriend'
slifethatmayhaveaffectedhisorheroutlookonlife.
TakingachanceonafriendshipdetoxIf,afterreflection,you'
vedecidedit'
snotworthgoingaheadwithyourfriendship,skipthissectionandgotothenextone"
Cuttingtieswithyourfriend"
.Otherwise,followthissectiontotryanddetoxyourfriendship.Raisetheproblemsinyourfriendshipwithyourfriend.Onceyouhavedecidedthatitisworthinvestingyourtimeandeffortindetoxingyourfriendship,it'
stimetobringattentiontoyourfriend'
sbehaviortoseewhetherit'
spossibletoresolvethechallenges.
Thisisn'
tgoingtobeeasybutavoidingitwillnothelpyoueither;
nothingwillchangeifyoudon'
ttackleit.Besensitiveandgentleinthewaythatyouapproachthisconversation–youwillbetreadingafinelinebetweenontheonehand,yourfriendfeelingthatheorsheisbeingcriticized,blamed,orthatyou'
rejustbeingunfairandontheotherhand,yourfriendbeingrelievedthatthegrievanceisoutintheopen,readyforproperdiscussion.Somewaystoapproachthiscouldincludesaying:
"
Ifeelthatwehaven'
tbeenverycloselatelyandthatourfriendshipissufferingasaresult.Iwashopingyoumighthavethetimetotalkaboutwayswecouldtakestockandboostourfriendshipagain."
I'
vemissedtheclosenessweusedtoexperienceasfriends.Idon'
tknowifyou'
refeelingthistoo,butI'
dreallyliketotalkaboutthewayswemightbeabletorestorethatclosenessweusedtohave."
IfeltupsetwhenIoverheardyoutellingMrXthatIwasn'
tmuchofafriendtoyouanditmademewonderwherewe'
reheaded.Haveyougotamomenttotalkaboutthis?
"
Listen.Bereadytolistenattentivelyandkindlytowhatyourfriendsays.Theremaybesomethingsyoudon'
tlikehearingbutyoumustremainopen-mindedandreadytoacknowledgeyourownmistakesaswell.It'
squitepossiblethatyou'
reunawareofhowyoumightbecontributingtotheirbehavior.Agreetodisagree.Ifthereissomethingthatneitherofyoucanseeeye-to-eyeon,justagreetodisagreeaboutitbutnottoletthatgetinthewayofwhatoughttobeafinefriendship.Or,tryalittlehumor.Onetacticthatcanworkreallywellwithfriendswhohaveasenseofinferiorityistodisarmtheirtoxicrebukeswithhumorthatsortofagreeswiththeirstatement.Forexample:
Friend:
OhwhereonEarthdidyougetthatdressfrom?
Itmakesyoulookfrumpy!
You:
Ohyeah,Ifeltlikefrumpingittonight,can'
thavemyhusbandthinkingI'
mflirtingwhilehe'
saway!
[10]Validatethefriendship.Avoidblamingandaccusing;
instead,keepvalidatingthefriendshipineverythingthatyousay,explaininghowmuchyouvalueyourfriendandyourfriendshiptogether,sothatit'
sclearthatthisisn'
taboutthrowingawaywhatreallymatters.Keepthediscussionshortandtothepoint.Don'
tlaborit.Andalwaysendtheconversationpositively,whetherit'
spromisingtodosomethingforyourfriend,orarrangingtodosomethingtogether,orsimplytellingthemwhatawonderfulpersonyouthinktheyare.Ifyourfriendthrowsa"
tantrum"
orarguesfiercelywithyou,politelyletthemknowyou'
retakingyourleaveandyou'
llcontinuethisdiscussionlater.Thereisnoneedforanargumentoveryourfeelings.
Thinkofsomegreatwaysthatyoumightbeabletosuggestaswaysforwardforyourfriendship.Ifyourfriendhasrespondedfavorablytoyourconcernsandisatleastwillingtogivethingsanothergo,itcanbehelpfultohavesomeideasofthingsthatmighthelptogetyourfriendshipbackontrack.Someideastoconsiderinclude:
Abanongossipingaboutoneanother.Thisgoeswithoutsayingbutifithasbeenaproblem,it'
sbesttohavealaughaboutitandgetitoutintotheopenasatabooactivity.Awillingnessandcommitmenttospendingmoretimetogether,justthetwoofyou,sharingacommoninterestthatyoubothenjoy.Havingasecretsignaltoletoneanotherwhentheadviceandsupportiscrossingthelineintobeingbossy,criticizing,orpushy.Atthefirstsignofthissignal,eitheroneofyouwillknowit'
stimetocallahalttowhateverbehavioriscausingtheproblem.Reachinganagreementthatit'
sOKtodealwithupsetsastheyoccurratherthanleavingmisunderstandingstofester.
Sharingamutualappreciationspace.Itcouldbeaphotoboard,anonlineprivatelysharedsite,aweeklychat.Whateveryoudecide,makeroomforcelebratingoneanotherandeachother'
sachievements.Friendsaresupporters,notdetractors,andbothofyoushouldfeelsafeincommunicatingyourwinsandlossesinlife.
Reviewyourfriendship.Afterhavingyourheart-to-heart,considerhowyourfriendshipstandsnow.Doesitfeellikethetwoofyouhavereachedagoodunderstanding,asifyou'
vebeenthroughthewarsbutnowyouarestrongerforit?
Doyoufeelthatyourfriendisreadytobethereforyou,toenableyoutobethebestyoucanbe,andyou'
rewillingtoreciprocateonehundredpercent?
[11]CuttingtieswithyourfriendThissectionissuitablewhenyou'
vereachedadecisionthatitisn'
tworthtryingtodetoxyourfriendship,orwhereyou'
vetriedtodosobutyourfriendisrefusingtofacethefactsandhas,indeed,madethingsworsebysuggestingyouareblamingthemorreproachingthemandtheyflatoutrightrefusetoseetheirownwrongdoing.
Rereadthroughtheindicatorsofatoxicpersonalityasoutlinedinthefirstsectionabove.Didyoufindyourselfagreeingtomanyofthesignals?
Didthelistenlightenyoursenseoflossaboutyourfriendship?
Ifso,andifyoufeelthatitisn'
tworthtryinganymore,it'
stimetocuttheties.Detachyourself.It'
stimetoacceptthatyou'
veoutgrownthisfriendship,inthesamewaythatyououtgrowotheraspectsofyourlife.Ifyouhearthatvoicesomepeopleenjoytrottingoutthat"
you'
vejustgottokeeptrying"
thenignoreit.Bynow,it'
sclearyou'
vealreadytriedmorethanenoughandyourfriendcrossesthelineofforbearancewhenheorshecontinuestomanipulate,demean,orgossipaboutyou.Itisjustasimportanttoknowwhentoletsomeonegoasitistoknowwhentokeeptrying,andatthispoint,detachingyourselfishealthyandastageofmaturationinyourlife.
Deletetheirdetailsfromyourlife.RemoveyourfriendfromFacebook,yourcellphone,youraddressbook,etc.DrRayPahl,afriendshipexpert,explainsthattoomanyfriendsinyourlifecanbestressfula