师本 ACEW Lecture 2Writing effective sentencesWord格式.docx

师本 ACEW Lecture 2Writing effective sentencesWord格式.docx

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100minutes

TeachingProcedures:

1.Studentsdiscusshowtowriteeffectivesentences.

2.Teacher’slectureaboutwritingeffectivesentences.

3.Studentsdotheexercisestopracticewritingeffectivesentences.

●Sentencesarethefundamentalunitsinwriting.Theeffectivenessofapieceofwritingdependslargelyontheeffectivenessofindividualsentences.Thestrengthsandweaknessofthesentencewillshapethequalityofthewritinggenerally.Nomatterhowinterestingyourideasareorhowwellyouorganizeyouressay,yourwritingappearsonthepageonesentenceatatime.

Effectivesentencesareconcise,varied,andemphatic.Theysayasmuchaspossibleandaseconomicallyaspossiblewithoutsacrificingclarity.Theyuseavarietyofstructuresandareatdifferentlengths.Theyemphasizetheimportantideassothatthereadercanspotthewriter’sintentions.

1.Conciseness

Thebestsentencecontainsnoflabbyorunnecessarywords.Compare:

Wordy:

OneofmyclosepersonalfriendswholivesinthecityofIndianapolisatthepresenttimehasunderconsiderationmovinghisresidencetoBuffaloforthereasonthathehasbeenofferedapositioninthatmetropolis.（38words）

Concise:

OneofmyfriendsinIndianapolisisconsideringmovingto

Buffalobecausehehasbeenofferedajobthere.（19words）

●Thisdoesnotmeanthatallsentencesmustbebriefor“barebones”.Whenyouwanttoemphasizecertainwordsorideas,thenconcrete,specificdetailstomakethemeaningclearandpreciseandrepetitionmaybenecessary.Butemptyphrase,padding,andunnecessaryrepetitionaddnothingtothemeaningofasentenceandarebarriersbetweenyouandreaders.Besuretowatchforthefollowingconstructionsinyourwriting:

1）Wordiness.Unnecessarywordsclutterupasentencebecausetheyaddnothingtoitsmeaning.Theymakesentencesflabbyand,likeredundancies,theyarenomorethanpadding.

Withregardtothefactthatourenvironmentispolluted,membersofCongressshoulddraftandconsequentlyenactlawsthatprohibitpollutioninournation.

Becauseourenvironmentispolluted,Congressshouldpasslawsprohibitingpollution.

WordyConcise

inanefficientmannerefficiently

forthepurposeofgettingrichtogetrich

hasthecapabilityofworkingcanwork

sayinahard-to-hearvoicemumble

inthefinalanalysisfinally

intheeventthatif

atthatpointintimethen

duetothefactthatbecause

amongallproblemsthatexiststodayamongallcurrentproblems

somewhereintheneighborhoodoftwentyabouttwenty

inthenottoodistantfuturesoon

dancewithagracefulstyledancegracefully

2）.Redundancies.Aredundantphraseisonethatcontainscertainunnecessaryrepetition;

itsaysthesamethingtwicewithnonewshadesofmeaning.

Redundant:

Theslowlymovingtraincrawledintothestation.

Thetraincrawledintothestation.

Thebracketedpartsinthelistbelowareredundant:

advance（forward）round（inshape）

continue（togoon）（physical）aerobicexercise

twodifferentreasons（true）facts

（deliberate）liecircle（around）

whisper（softly）repeat（again）

visible（totheeye）disappearfromview

（basic）fundamentals（flat）pancake

●（Youwilloccasionallywanttorepeatanideaindifferentwordstoemphasizeaparticularpoint.Exceptinthoseinstances,cutoutanyrepetitivewordsorphrasethatdonotemphasizeorclarifyyourpoint.）

●Exercise

Revisethefollowingsentencestoeliminateredundancyandwordiness

1）Intheworldoftoday,eighteen-year-oldyoungpeoplefindlittlejoyindraftregistration.

2）Itisusuallythecasethatthesetalesgiveencouragementtothepeople’sfantasies.

3）Iseenoreasonatthispointintimewhyweshouldnotrely,ashasoftenbeenthecaseinthepast,onthegoodofficesofthemayor.

4）Ithinkthatitisnotamistake---norisitincorrect---tosaythatthecharacteristicsofrepetition,redundancy,andsayingthesamethingagainandagainthattypifymostandmuchoratleastagreatdealofwritinginthemodernworldoftodayshouldbeeliminatedordoneawaywithbyeverymeansavailabletothepersonorpersonswhoteachesthesewriters.

5）Intheeventthatthegradingsystemischanged,expectcomplaintsonthepartofstudents.

6）Asfarassexismisconcerned,itseemstomethatawomancanbeasguiltyofsexismasaman.

7）Theforcesthatwereagainstguncontrolrananadvertisementthatcoveredtwopages.

8）Ithinkthatheknowsthatthatgirlisnotthesuitablegirlforhimtomarry.

9）Shesuspectedshewouldbeinanunemployment-typesituationwhentheoverflowofcustomersduetotheChristmasshoppingcircumstanceswasnolongerineffect.

10）Iwasactuallysmallerthanmyyoungerbrother.HewassixfeetandIwasfivefour.

Key:

1）Today,eighteen-year-oldyoungpeoplefindlittlejoyindraftregistration.

2）Thesetalesusuallyencouragefantasies.

3）Weshouldrelynow,aswehaveinthepast,onthehelpofthemayor.

4）Instructorsshoulduseallmeanstodecreaseredundancyintheirstudents’writing.

5）Ifthegradingsystemischanged,expectcomplaintsfromthestudents.

6）Awomancanbeasguiltyofsexismasaman.

7）Theanti-guncontrolforcesranatwo-pageadvertisement.

8）Ithinkheshouldnotmarrythatgirl.

9）ShesuspectedshewouldbelaidoffaftertheChristmasrush.

10）MyyoungerbrotherwassixfeetandIwasfivefour.

2.Variety

●Sentencesarethebuildingblocksofparagraphs.Ifallsentencesinacompositionareofthesamelengthandstructure,thecompositionwillbeasdrabanduninterestingasastraighthighway.Ifthesentencesarevaried,however,thecompositionwillholdthereader’sattentionasaroadcurvesandrisesandfallswiththechanginglandscape.Agoodessayincludesavarietyofsentencetypes.Itmixesshorterwithlongersentencesandemploysavarietyofsentencepatterns.

Toachievesentencevarietyandincludeamixtureofsentencestructure,weneedtokeepthefollowingpointsinmind.

1）Strikeabalancebetweenlongandshortsentences

Sentencescomeshort,medium,andlong---andthesimpleprincipleforeffectivewritingistotryvariety.Goodwritingusesamixtureofshortandlongsentencestoimitatethenaturalrhythmsofspeech.Apieceofwritingfilledwithsentencesofthesamelengthismonotonous.Asuccessionofsimplesentenceswillboreyourreaders;

asuccessionofcompoundorcomplexsentencesmayconfuseortirethem.Yourwritingshouldofferyourreaderssentencesofdifferentlengths.

i）Combiningsentenceswithphrases.Inthefollowingexamples,shortsentencesarecombinedintolongeronesthatincludeatleastonephrase.

a.TheBlueAngelsperformspectacularstunts.TheyarepartoftheUnitedStatesNavy.Theyperformstuntsatairshows.Airshowsareheldaroundtheworld.

b.TheBlueAngelsoftheUnitedStatesNavyperformspectacularstuntsatairshowsaroundtheworld.

ii）Combiningsentencesbycoordinating.Anotherwaytocombineyoursentencesistolinkitemsofequalimportancewithcoordinatingconjunctions.

a.Coincidencesoftenintriguepeople.Coincidencesoftenfrightenpeople.

b.Coincidencesoftenintrigueorfrightenpeople.

iii）Combiningsentencesbysubordinating.Stillanotherwaytocombinesentencesistojoinideasofunequalimportancebyturningthelessimportantideaintoadependentclausewithrelativepronounsorsubordinatingconjunctions.

a.Withhislossofhearing,hismusicreachednewheightsofbeautyandfeeling.Hislossofhearingwasnearlycompletein1816.

b.Withhislossofhearing,whichwasnearlycompletein1816,hismusicreachednewheightsofbeautyandfeeling.

Exercise:

1）Johnisveryefficient.Heisalibrarian.Heisanexcellentorganizerofevents.Thoseeventsareextracurriculareventsforthecollege.

2）Today,manyyoungwomendonotrushintomarriageandmotherhood.Theyspendseveralyearsestablishingcareers.

3）Iwaslookingovermybooksthen.InoticedthatMickywasmissing.Thatbookwasoneofmyroommate’sfavoritebooks.

1）John,averyefficientlibrarian,isanexcellentorganizerofextracurriculareventsforthecollege.

2）Today,manyyoungwomendonotrushintomarriageandmotherhood,butspendseveralyearsestablishingcareers.

3）IwaslookingovermybookswhenInoticedthatMicky,oneofmyroommate’sfavoritebooks,wasmissing.

2）Varysentencestructure

Sentencesareclassifiedaccordingtothenumberandkindofclauseswithinthem.Thefourbasickindsofsentencesaresimple,compound,complex,andcompound-complex.Striveforamixtureofsentencetypestocreateinterestandvarietyforyourreaders.

3）Varysentencebeginnings

●Inexperiencedwriterstendtobegineverysentencewiththesubject.Thisisnatural,becausethesubject-verbpatternisthemostcommonarrangementinEnglishsentences.Aseriesofsuchsentences,however,canbeboringandmonotonous.Bybeginningsomeofyoursentenceswithsomethingotherthanthesubjectyoucanmakethemmoreappealing.Thefollowingwayshelptoachievesentencevariety.

i）Beginsomesentenceswithappositiveexpressions

---ThemostspectacularmountaininChina,HuangShanMountainattractsthousandsofvisitorseachyear.

ii）Beginsomesentenceswithparticiples

---Strickenwithgrief,GregcriedforanhourbecausehecouldnottakeFrench.

iii）