师本 ACEW Lecture 2Writing effective sentencesWord格式.docx
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100minutes
TeachingProcedures:
1.Studentsdiscusshowtowriteeffectivesentences.
2.Teacher’slectureaboutwritingeffectivesentences.
3.Studentsdotheexercisestopracticewritingeffectivesentences.
●Sentencesarethefundamentalunitsinwriting.Theeffectivenessofapieceofwritingdependslargelyontheeffectivenessofindividualsentences.Thestrengthsandweaknessofthesentencewillshapethequalityofthewritinggenerally.Nomatterhowinterestingyourideasareorhowwellyouorganizeyouressay,yourwritingappearsonthepageonesentenceatatime.
Effectivesentencesareconcise,varied,andemphatic.Theysayasmuchaspossibleandaseconomicallyaspossiblewithoutsacrificingclarity.Theyuseavarietyofstructuresandareatdifferentlengths.Theyemphasizetheimportantideassothatthereadercanspotthewriter’sintentions.
1.Conciseness
Thebestsentencecontainsnoflabbyorunnecessarywords.Compare:
Wordy:
OneofmyclosepersonalfriendswholivesinthecityofIndianapolisatthepresenttimehasunderconsiderationmovinghisresidencetoBuffaloforthereasonthathehasbeenofferedapositioninthatmetropolis.(38words)
Concise:
OneofmyfriendsinIndianapolisisconsideringmovingto
Buffalobecausehehasbeenofferedajobthere.(19words)
●Thisdoesnotmeanthatallsentencesmustbebriefor“barebones”.Whenyouwanttoemphasizecertainwordsorideas,thenconcrete,specificdetailstomakethemeaningclearandpreciseandrepetitionmaybenecessary.Butemptyphrase,padding,andunnecessaryrepetitionaddnothingtothemeaningofasentenceandarebarriersbetweenyouandreaders.Besuretowatchforthefollowingconstructionsinyourwriting:
1)Wordiness.Unnecessarywordsclutterupasentencebecausetheyaddnothingtoitsmeaning.Theymakesentencesflabbyand,likeredundancies,theyarenomorethanpadding.
Withregardtothefactthatourenvironmentispolluted,membersofCongressshoulddraftandconsequentlyenactlawsthatprohibitpollutioninournation.
Becauseourenvironmentispolluted,Congressshouldpasslawsprohibitingpollution.
WordyConcise
inanefficientmannerefficiently
forthepurposeofgettingrichtogetrich
hasthecapabilityofworkingcanwork
sayinahard-to-hearvoicemumble
inthefinalanalysisfinally
intheeventthatif
atthatpointintimethen
duetothefactthatbecause
amongallproblemsthatexiststodayamongallcurrentproblems
somewhereintheneighborhoodoftwentyabouttwenty
inthenottoodistantfuturesoon
dancewithagracefulstyledancegracefully
2).Redundancies.Aredundantphraseisonethatcontainscertainunnecessaryrepetition;
itsaysthesamethingtwicewithnonewshadesofmeaning.
Redundant:
Theslowlymovingtraincrawledintothestation.
Thetraincrawledintothestation.
Thebracketedpartsinthelistbelowareredundant:
advance(forward)round(inshape)
continue(togoon)(physical)aerobicexercise
twodifferentreasons(true)facts
(deliberate)liecircle(around)
whisper(softly)repeat(again)
visible(totheeye)disappearfromview
(basic)fundamentals(flat)pancake
●(Youwilloccasionallywanttorepeatanideaindifferentwordstoemphasizeaparticularpoint.Exceptinthoseinstances,cutoutanyrepetitivewordsorphrasethatdonotemphasizeorclarifyyourpoint.)
●Exercise
Revisethefollowingsentencestoeliminateredundancyandwordiness
1)Intheworldoftoday,eighteen-year-oldyoungpeoplefindlittlejoyindraftregistration.
2)Itisusuallythecasethatthesetalesgiveencouragementtothepeople’sfantasies.
3)Iseenoreasonatthispointintimewhyweshouldnotrely,ashasoftenbeenthecaseinthepast,onthegoodofficesofthemayor.
4)Ithinkthatitisnotamistake---norisitincorrect---tosaythatthecharacteristicsofrepetition,redundancy,andsayingthesamethingagainandagainthattypifymostandmuchoratleastagreatdealofwritinginthemodernworldoftodayshouldbeeliminatedordoneawaywithbyeverymeansavailabletothepersonorpersonswhoteachesthesewriters.
5)Intheeventthatthegradingsystemischanged,expectcomplaintsonthepartofstudents.
6)Asfarassexismisconcerned,itseemstomethatawomancanbeasguiltyofsexismasaman.
7)Theforcesthatwereagainstguncontrolrananadvertisementthatcoveredtwopages.
8)Ithinkthatheknowsthatthatgirlisnotthesuitablegirlforhimtomarry.
9)Shesuspectedshewouldbeinanunemployment-typesituationwhentheoverflowofcustomersduetotheChristmasshoppingcircumstanceswasnolongerineffect.
10)Iwasactuallysmallerthanmyyoungerbrother.HewassixfeetandIwasfivefour.
Key:
1)Today,eighteen-year-oldyoungpeoplefindlittlejoyindraftregistration.
2)Thesetalesusuallyencouragefantasies.
3)Weshouldrelynow,aswehaveinthepast,onthehelpofthemayor.
4)Instructorsshoulduseallmeanstodecreaseredundancyintheirstudents’writing.
5)Ifthegradingsystemischanged,expectcomplaintsfromthestudents.
6)Awomancanbeasguiltyofsexismasaman.
7)Theanti-guncontrolforcesranatwo-pageadvertisement.
8)Ithinkheshouldnotmarrythatgirl.
9)ShesuspectedshewouldbelaidoffaftertheChristmasrush.
10)MyyoungerbrotherwassixfeetandIwasfivefour.
2.Variety
●Sentencesarethebuildingblocksofparagraphs.Ifallsentencesinacompositionareofthesamelengthandstructure,thecompositionwillbeasdrabanduninterestingasastraighthighway.Ifthesentencesarevaried,however,thecompositionwillholdthereader’sattentionasaroadcurvesandrisesandfallswiththechanginglandscape.Agoodessayincludesavarietyofsentencetypes.Itmixesshorterwithlongersentencesandemploysavarietyofsentencepatterns.
Toachievesentencevarietyandincludeamixtureofsentencestructure,weneedtokeepthefollowingpointsinmind.
1)Strikeabalancebetweenlongandshortsentences
Sentencescomeshort,medium,andlong---andthesimpleprincipleforeffectivewritingistotryvariety.Goodwritingusesamixtureofshortandlongsentencestoimitatethenaturalrhythmsofspeech.Apieceofwritingfilledwithsentencesofthesamelengthismonotonous.Asuccessionofsimplesentenceswillboreyourreaders;
asuccessionofcompoundorcomplexsentencesmayconfuseortirethem.Yourwritingshouldofferyourreaderssentencesofdifferentlengths.
i)Combiningsentenceswithphrases.Inthefollowingexamples,shortsentencesarecombinedintolongeronesthatincludeatleastonephrase.
a.TheBlueAngelsperformspectacularstunts.TheyarepartoftheUnitedStatesNavy.Theyperformstuntsatairshows.Airshowsareheldaroundtheworld.
b.TheBlueAngelsoftheUnitedStatesNavyperformspectacularstuntsatairshowsaroundtheworld.
ii)Combiningsentencesbycoordinating.Anotherwaytocombineyoursentencesistolinkitemsofequalimportancewithcoordinatingconjunctions.
a.Coincidencesoftenintriguepeople.Coincidencesoftenfrightenpeople.
b.Coincidencesoftenintrigueorfrightenpeople.
iii)Combiningsentencesbysubordinating.Stillanotherwaytocombinesentencesistojoinideasofunequalimportancebyturningthelessimportantideaintoadependentclausewithrelativepronounsorsubordinatingconjunctions.
a.Withhislossofhearing,hismusicreachednewheightsofbeautyandfeeling.Hislossofhearingwasnearlycompletein1816.
b.Withhislossofhearing,whichwasnearlycompletein1816,hismusicreachednewheightsofbeautyandfeeling.
Exercise:
1)Johnisveryefficient.Heisalibrarian.Heisanexcellentorganizerofevents.Thoseeventsareextracurriculareventsforthecollege.
2)Today,manyyoungwomendonotrushintomarriageandmotherhood.Theyspendseveralyearsestablishingcareers.
3)Iwaslookingovermybooksthen.InoticedthatMickywasmissing.Thatbookwasoneofmyroommate’sfavoritebooks.
1)John,averyefficientlibrarian,isanexcellentorganizerofextracurriculareventsforthecollege.
2)Today,manyyoungwomendonotrushintomarriageandmotherhood,butspendseveralyearsestablishingcareers.
3)IwaslookingovermybookswhenInoticedthatMicky,oneofmyroommate’sfavoritebooks,wasmissing.
2)Varysentencestructure
Sentencesareclassifiedaccordingtothenumberandkindofclauseswithinthem.Thefourbasickindsofsentencesaresimple,compound,complex,andcompound-complex.Striveforamixtureofsentencetypestocreateinterestandvarietyforyourreaders.
3)Varysentencebeginnings
●Inexperiencedwriterstendtobegineverysentencewiththesubject.Thisisnatural,becausethesubject-verbpatternisthemostcommonarrangementinEnglishsentences.Aseriesofsuchsentences,however,canbeboringandmonotonous.Bybeginningsomeofyoursentenceswithsomethingotherthanthesubjectyoucanmakethemmoreappealing.Thefollowingwayshelptoachievesentencevariety.
i)Beginsomesentenceswithappositiveexpressions
---ThemostspectacularmountaininChina,HuangShanMountainattractsthousandsofvisitorseachyear.
ii)Beginsomesentenceswithparticiples
---Strickenwithgrief,GregcriedforanhourbecausehecouldnottakeFrench.
iii)