老友记第一季第一集的对白Word文档下载推荐.docx

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老友记第一季第一集的对白Word文档下载推荐.docx

Sincealways.It'

slikedatinglanguage.Y'

know,like'

It'

snotyou'

Itisyou'

Chandler:

Or'

You'

resuchaniceguy'

I'

mgonnabedatingleather-wearingalcoholicsandcomplainingaboutthemtoyou'

Or,or,y'

know,um,'

Ithinkweshouldseeotherpeople'

Ha,ha,Ialreadyam'

Andeverybodyknowsthis?

Yeah.Cushionstheblow.

Yeah,it'

slikewhenyou'

reakid,andyourparentsputyourdogtosleep,andtheytellyouitwentofftoliveonsomefarm.

That'

sfunny,that,no,because,uh,ourparentsactuallydid,uh,sendourdogofftoliveonafarm.

Uh,Ross.

Wh-hello?

TheMillners'

farminConnecticut?

TheMillners,theyhadthisunbelievablefarm,theyhadhorses,and,andrabbitsthathecouldchaseanditwas-itw-.....OhmyGod,ChiChi!

OpeningCredits

ChandlerandJoey'

s,ChandlerishelpingJoeyrehearseforapart.]

"

Sohowdoesitfeelknowingyou'

reabouttodie?

"

Warden,infiveminutesmypainwillbeover.Butyou'

llhavetolivewiththeknowledgethatyousentanhonestmantodie."

Hey,thatwasreallygood!

Thanks!

Let'

skeepgoing.

Okay."

So.Whaddyawantfromme,Damone,huh?

Ijustwannagobacktomycell.'

Causeinmycell,Icansmoke."

Smokeaway."

(Joeytakesoutapackofcigarettesandalighter.Hefumblesanddropsthelighter.Thenhelightsacigarett,takesadrag,andcoughs.)

IthinkthisisprobablywhyDamonesmokesinhiscellalone.

Relaxyourhand!

(Joeyletshiswristgolimp.)

Notsomuch!

Whoah!

Hey!

Alright,nowtrytakingapuff.

(Joeytriesandvisiblywinces.)

Alright..okay.No.Giveittome.

Nonono,Iamnotgivingyouacigarette.

It'

sfine,it'

sfine.Look,doyouwannagetthispart,ornot?

Here.

(Joeyreluctantlygiveshimthecigarette.)

Don'

tthinkofitasacigarette.Thinkofitasthethingthat'

sbeenmissingfromyourhand.Whenyou'

reholdingit,youfeelright.Youfeelcomplete.

Y'

missit?

Nah,notsomuch.Alright,nowwesmoke.(Takesapuff.)Oh..my..God.(Hecontinuestosmoke.)

[Scene,CentralPerk,everyoneexceptPhoebeandRachelisthere.]

No,no,no.Theysayit'

sthesameasthedistancefromthetipofaguy'

sthumbtothetipofhisindexfinger.

(Theguysstretchouttheirfingers.)

sridiculous!

CanIuse..eitherthumb?

(carryingatrayofdrinks)Alright,don'

ttellme,don'

ttellme!

(Startshandingthemout.)DecafcappucinoforJoey..Coffeeblack..Late..Andanicedtea.I'

mgettingprettygoodatthis!

Yeah.Yeah,excellent.

(leavingtoserveothers)Goodforme!

(ThegangswapsallthedrinksforwhattheyorderedasPhoebeenters.Shesitsdownwithoutsayinghi.)

okay,Phoebe?

Yeah-no-I'

mjust-it'

s,Ihaven'

tworked-It'

smybank.

Whatdidtheydotoyou?

snothing,it'

sjust-Okay.I'

mgoingthroughmymail,andIopenuptheirmonthly,youknow,STATEMENT-

Easy.

-andthere'

sfivehundredextradollarsinmyaccount.

Oh,Satan'

sminionsatworkagain...

Yes,'

causenowIhavetogodownthere,anddealwiththem.

Whatareyoutalkingabout?

Keepit!

snotmine,Ididn'

tearnit,ifIkeptit,itwouldbelikestealing.

Yeah,butifyouspentit,itwouldbelikeshopping!

Okay.Okay,let'

ssayIboughtareallygreatpairofshoes.DoyouknowwhatI'

dhear,witheverystepItook?

'

Not-mine.Not-mine.Not-mine.'

AndevenifIwashappy,okay,and,andskipping-'

Not-not-mine,not-not-mine,not-not-mine,not-not-mine'

...

We'

rewithyou.Wegotit.

(Chandlerleansoverthebackofthecouchoutofsight.)

Okay.I'

d-just-I'

dneverbeabletoenjoyit.Itwouldbelikethisgiantkarmicdebt.

Chandler,whatareyoudoing?

(pulinghimup)Hey.Whaddyadoing?

(Chandlertriestoshrugnonchalantlybuteventuallyhehastoexhaleamouthfulofsmoke.)

Oh!

Oh,God!

Whatisthis?

!

I'

msmoking.I'

msmoking,I'

msmoking.

Oh,Ican'

tbelieveyou!

You'

vebeensogood,forthreeyears!

Andthis-ismyreward!

Holdonasecond,alright?

Justthinkaboutwhatyouwentthroughthelasttimeyouquit.

Okay,sothistimeIwon'

tquit!

Ohhh!

Putitout!

Allright!

mputtingitout,I'

mputtingitout.(HedropsitinPhoebe'

scoffee.)

Oh,no!

I-Ican'

tdrinkthisnow!

Alright.I'

mgonnagochange,I'

vegotadate.

ThisAlanagain?

How'

sitgoin'

?

S'

goingprettygood,y'

know?

snice,and,we'

rehavingfun.

Sowhendowegettomeettheguy?

ssee,today'

sMonday...Never.

Oh,comeon!

Comeon!

No.NotafterwhathappenedwithSteve.

WeloveSchhteve!

Schhtevewasschhexy!

..Sorry.

Look,Idon'

tevenknowhowIfeelabouthimyet.Justgivemeachancetofigurethatout.

Well,thencanwemeethim?

Nope.Schhorry.

Iridium,MonicaandPaulaareatwork.]

Imean,whyshouldIletthemmeethim?

Imean,Ibringaguyhome,andwithinfiveminutesthey'

realloverhim.Imean,they'

relike-coyotes,pickingofftheweakmembersoftheherd.

Paula:

Listen.Assomeonewho'

sseenmorethanherfairshareofbadbeef,I'

lltellyou:

thatisnotsuchaterriblething.Imean,they'

reyourfriends,they'

rejustlookingoutafteryou.

Iknow.Ijustwishthatonce,I'

dbringaguyhomethattheyactuallyliked.

Well,youdorealisetheoddsofthathappeningarealittleslimmeriftheynevergettomeettheguy..

MonicaandRachel'

s,Chandlerissmokingoutonthebalcony,Phoebeisabsent.]

Letitgo,Ross.

Yeah,well,youdidn'

tknowChiChi.

Doyouallpromise?

Yeah!

Wepromise!

llbegood!

(shoutstoChandler)Chandler?

Doyoupromisetobegood?

(Chandlermakesa'

Crossmyheart'

sign.Itstartstorainandhetapsonthewindow.)

Youcancomein,butyourfilter-tippedlittlebuddyhastostayoutside!

(Chandlersulkiltypicksupagarbagecanlidandusesitasanumbrella.)

(Phoebeenters,walkstothecouch,sitsdown,andbeginstoreadaletterwithoutsayinghi.)

Hey,Pheebs.

DearMs.Buffay.Thankyouforcallingattentiontoourerror.Wehavecreditedyouraccountwithfivehundreddollars.We'

resorryfortheinconvenience,andhopeyou'

llacceptthis-(Searchesinherpurse)-footballphoneasourfreegift.'

Doyoubelievethis?

NowIhaveathousanddollars,andafootballphone!

Whatbankisthis?

(Theintercombuzzes.)

Hey.It'

shim.(Ontheintercom)Whoisit?

Alan:

(ontheintercom)It'

sAlan.

(shoutingtoChandler)Chandler!

He'

shere!

(Chandlercomesin,drippingwet.)

(toall)Okay,pleasebegood,please.Justrememberhowmuchyoualllikeme.

(SheopensthedoorandAlanenters.)

Hi.Alan,thisiseverybody.Everybody,thisisAlan.

Hi.

Hi,Alan.

veheardschhomuchaboutallyouguyschh!

(Everyonelaughs.)

[Timelapse,Alanisleaving.]

(toAlan)Thanks.I'

llcallyoutomorrow.(Alanexits,toall)Okay.Okay,let'

slettheAlan-bashingbegin.Who'

sgonnatakethefirstshot,hmm?

(Silence.)

C'

mon!

...I'

llgo.Let'

sstartwiththewayhekeptpickingat-no,I'

msorry,Ican'

tdothis,can'

tdothis.Welovedhim.

Lovedhim!

sgreat!

Waitaminute!

retalkingaboutsomeonethatI'

mgoingoutwith?

Anddidyounotice...?

(Shespreadsherthumbandindexfinger.)

TheGuys:

(reluctantly)Yeah.

Knowwhatwasgreat?

Thewayhissmilewaskindacrooked.

Yes,yes!

Likethemanintheshoe!

...Whatshoe?

Fromthenurseryrhyme.'

Therewasacrookedman,Whohadacrookedsmile,Wholivedinashoe,Fora...while...'

(Dubiouspause.)

...SoIthinkAlanwillbecometheyardstickagainstwhichallfutureboyfriendswillbemeasured.

Whatfutureboyfriends?

Nono,Ith-Ithinkthiscouldbe,y'

know,it.

Really!

Oh,yeah.I'

dmarryhimjustforhisDavidHasselhofimpressionalone.YouknowI'

mgonnabedoingthatatparties,right?

(Doestheimpression)

YouknowwhatIlikemostabouthim,though?

Thewayhemakesmefeelaboutmyself.

Yeah...

CommercialBreak

CentralPerk,MonicaisaloneasRoss,Rachel,Chandler,andJoeyenterdejectedlyinsoftballgear.]

Hi..howwasthegame?

Well..

WEWON!

Thankyou!

Yes!

Fantastic!

Ihaveonequestion:

Howisthatpossible?

Alan.

Hewasunbelievable.Hewaslikethat-that-thatBugsBunnycartoonwhereBugsisplayingallthepositions,right,butinsteadofBugsit

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