123 The One With the BirthWord文档格式.docx

123 The One With the BirthWord文档格式.docx

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What,it'

sokwhenChandlerdoesit?

Youhavetopickyourmoments.

（Phoebearrives,guitarinhand.）

Phoebe:

DidImissit,didImissit?

snotevenhereyet.

What'

swiththeguitar?

Ijustthoughtwemightbehereforawhile.Youknow,thingsmightgetmusical.

（CarolandSusanarrive.）

（toCarol）Wherethehellhaveyoubeen?

Susan:

Westoppedatthegiftshop.

Carol:

Iwaslookingatstuffedanimals,andSusanwantedaChunky.

SusanwantedaChunky.We'

rehavingababy,ok,ababy,youdon'

tstopforChunkys.

Iusedtohavethatbumpersticker.

（EveryoneisamusedbyChandler'

scomment.）

（toRachel）YouseewhatImean.

OpeningCredits

Carol'

sHospitalRoom,Carolisonthebed,RossandSusanareatherside.]

StoppedforaChunky.

Letitgo,Ross.

Igotanextraone.Youwantthis?

（holdsthecandyinfrontofRoss'

face）

（weakly）No.

（Carol'

sdoctor,Dr.Franzblauarrives.）

Dr.Franzblau:

Hey,how'

smyfavoriteparentingteamdoing?

Dr.Franzblau,hi.

So,Iunderstandyou'

rethinkingofhavingababy?

Well,Iseeyou'

reninemonthspregnant.That'

sagoodstart.Howyoudoingwithyourcontractions?

Oh,Ilovethem.Eachone'

slikealittlepartyinmyuterus.

They'

reeveryfourminutesandlast55seconds.

59seconds.（holdsuphiswatch）Quartz,ha.

Swissquartz,ha,ha.

AmIallowedtodrinkanything?

Icechips,justicechips.They'

reatthenurses'

station.

llgetit.

No,I'

mgettingit.I'

llberightback.

Igotit—I'

mgettingit!

（TheybothleavejustasRachelenterstheroom,holdingacup.）

Hi,Ithoughtyoumightlikesomeicechips.

Thanks.

Andifyouneedanythingelse,I—（noticesthehandsomeDr.Franzblau）—donotbelievewe'

vemet.Hi.I'

m,uh,RachelGreen.I'

mCarol'

s...ex-husband'

s...sister'

sroommate.

Itisnicetomeetyou.I'

mDr.Franzblau.I'

myourroommate'

s...brother'

s...ex-wife'

sobstetrician.

Oh,that'

sfunny!

TheWaitingRoom,ChandlerisfallingasleeponMonica'

sshoulder.]

Iwantababy.

Mmmm.Nottonight,honey.Igotanearlydaytomorrow.

Getup.Comeon.Let'

sgetsomecoffee.

Oh,ok,'

causeweneverdothat.

（ChandlerandMonicaleave.CuttoJoey,watchingtheKnicks/Celticsgameontelevision.）

（tothescreen）Shoot!

Shoot!

Shoot,orjustfalldown.That'

sgoodtoo.

（Ayoungpregnantwomanenters.）

Lydia:

Knickfan?

Oh,yeah.

Oh,boy,dotheysuck.

Hey,listen,lady....（seesthatshe'

spregnant）...whoa.

Look,lookatyourman,Ewing.Niceshot.Youknowwhat,hecouldn'

thitwaterifhewasstandingonaboat.

Ohyeah?

Andwhodoyoulike?

TheCeltics.

TheCeltics?

Ha.Theycouldn'

thitaboatif...wait.Theysuck,alright?

Oh,shutup.Youknow,it'

sarebuildingyear.You...waah!

Wha?

Wha..aa?

Letmegetthefather.Hey,weneedafatheroverhere!

Weneedafather!

Thereisnofather.

Oh,oh,oh,sorry.

Ok,that'

sok.I'

mfine.I'

m...oh!

Oh,uh,ok.Rightthisway.Alltheotherpregnantwomenseemtobegoin'

inhere.

Ok.

（JoeyaccompaniesLydiatoahospitalroom.）

TheWaitingRoom,Phoebeisplayingasong.Chandler,Monica,andRossarethereaswell.]

（singing）

They'

retinyandchubbyandsosweettotouch,

andsoonthey'

llgrowupandresentyousomuch.

Nowthey'

reyellingatyouandyoudon'

tknowwhy,

youcryandyoucryandyoucry.

Andyoucryandyoucryandyoucry...

（RossgivesPhoebeadollar.）

Thanks,Ross.

Yeah.I'

mpayingyoutostop.

（Awomanpassesby,carryingnewborntwins.）

Oh,look,twins.Hi,guys.Oh,cute,cute.

Nofair.Idon'

tevenhaveone.Howcometheygettwo?

You'

llgetone.

When?

Allright.I'

lltellyouwhat.Whenwe'

re40,ifneitheroneofusaremarried,whatdoyousayyouandIgettogetherandhaveone?

Whywon'

tIbemarriedwhenI'

m40?

Oh,no,no.Ijustmeanthypothetically.

Ok,hypothetically,whywon'

No,no,no.

Whatisit?

Istheresomethingfundamentallyunmarriableaboutme?

（trapped）Uh,uh.

Well?

DearGod!

Thisparachuteisaknapsack!

（throwshimselfoverthebackofthechairhewassittingin）

（Rachelenters,inaformaldress.）

Hey.

Hey.Ooh,lookatyou,dressy-dress.

Didyougohomeandchange?

Yeah,well,it'

sanimportantday.Iwannalooknice.Um,hasuhDr.Franzblaubeenby?

No,Ihaven'

tseenhim.

Well,whereishe?

Heissupposedtobehere.（Pause）Whatifthebabyneedshim?

Rachel,whatisthedealwithyouanddoctors,anyway?

Was,like,yourfatheradoctor?

Yeah,why?

Noreason.（turnsaround,makesan'

OhmyGod'

gesturewithhiseyes）

JoeyandLydiainthehospitalroom.Lydiaisonthephonewithhermother.]

Mom,we'

vebeenthroughthis.No,I'

mnotcallinghim.Idon'

tcareifitishiskid,theguy'

sajerk.No,I'

mnotalone.Joey'

shere.（pause）Whatdoyoumean,Joeywho?

（coversthephone,toJoey）Joeywho?

Tribbiani.

JoeyTribbiani.Yes,ok.Holdon.（toJoey）Shewantstotalktoyou.Takethephone.

（takesphone）Hi,yeah,it'

sme.（Listens）Oh,nonono,we'

rejustfriends.（Listens）Yeah,I'

msingle.（Listens）25.（Listens）Anactor.（Listens）Hello?

snotmuchofaphoneperson.

Yeah,so,uh,so,uh,what'

sthedealwiththisfatherguy,Imean,ifsomeonewashavin'

mybabysomewhere,I'

dwannaknowaboutit,youknow?

Hey,Knickfan,amIinterestedinyourviewsonfatherhood?

Uh,no.

Ok,look,maybeIshouldjustgo.

Maybeyoushould.

Goodluck,anduh,takecare,huh?

（Heleaves,butthenreturnsamomentlater.）

YouknowwhattheCelticsproblemis?

Theylettheplayersruntheteam.

Oh,thatissonottrue.

Oh,itis.

Itisn'

t.

Itis.

Isn'

t!

sHospitalRoom,RossandSusanarecoachingCarol.]

Breathe.

regonnakillme!

15moreseconds,14,13,12...

Countfaster.

It'

sgonnabeok,justremember,we'

redoingthisforJordie.JustkeepfocusingonJordie.

WhothehellisJordie?

Yourson.

No-no-no.Idon'

thaveasonnamedJordie.Weallagreed,myson'

snameisJamie.

Well,JamiewasthenameofSusan'

sfirstgirlfriend,sowewentbacktoJordie.

What?

Whoa,whoawhoawhoa,whatdoyoumean,backtoJordie?

WeneverlandedonJordie.WejustpassedbyitduringthewholeJessy,Cody,Dylanfiasco.

Ow,ow,ow,ow,legcramp,legcramp,legcramp.

Igotit.

Igotit!

Hey,yougettosleepwithher,Igetthecramps.

No,youdon'

Allright,that'

sit.Iwantbothofyouout.

Why?

Hestartedit!

No,youstartedit.

Youdid!

tcare.Iamtryingtogetapersonoutofmybodyhere,andyou'

renotmakingitanyeasier.

But...

Nowgo!

（toSusan）Thanksalot.

（toRoss）Seewhatyoudid.

（toCarol）Yeah,listen...

Out!

（RossandSusanbothangrilyleavethehopsitalroom.）

Lydia'

sHospitalRoom,JoeyishelpingLydiagothroughlabor,anurseisnowpresentinherroomaswell.]

Nurse:

Breathe,breathe,breathe...

Oh,no.

（JoeylooksdownatLydia.）

Ew!

Whatisthat?

Somethingexploded!

sjustherwaterbreaking.Calmdown,willyou?

（panicked）Waterbreaking,whatdoyoumean?

sthat,waterbreaking?

（toJoey）Breathe,breathe,breathe.

TheHall,RossandSusanarearguing.]

Please.Thisissoyourfault.

How,howisthismyfault?

Look,Carolneverthrewmeoutofaroombeforeyoucamealong.

Yeah?

Well,there'

salotofthingsCarolneverdidbeforeIcamealong.

Youtryin'

tobeclever?

Afunnylady?

Youknowwhatyourproblemis?

rethreatenedbyme.

Oh,I'

mthreatenedbyyou?

Yes.

（Phoebehasheardthemarguingandcomesdownthehall,takingthemintoabroomcloset.）

Hey,hey,ok,allright,that'

sit!

Getinhere.Comeon.Mygod,youguys,Idon'

tbelieveyou.Therearechildrencomingintotheworldinthisverybuildingandyournegativefightingnoisesarenotthefirstthingtheyshouldbehearing.Sojuststopalltheyelling,juststop