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campwasmorelikeakegpartywithoutanyalcohol.andontheveryfirstdayourcounselorgatheredusalltogetherandshetaughtusacheerthatshesaidwewouldbedoingeverydayfortherestofthesummertoinstillcampspirit.anditwentlikethis:
"
r-o-w-d-i-e,that'
sthewaywespellrowdie.rowdie,rowdie,let'
sgetrowdie."
yeah.soicouldn'
tfigureoutforthelifeofmewhyweweresupposedtobesorowdy,orwhywehadtospellthiswordincorrectly.(laughter)butirecitedacheer.irecitedacheeralongwitheverybodyelse.ididmybest.andijustwaitedforthetimethaticouldgooffandreadmybooks.
butthefirsttimethatitookmybookoutofmysuitcase,thecoolestgirlinthebunkcameuptomeandsheaskedme,"
whyareyoubeingsomellow?
"
--mellow,ofcourse,beingtheexactoppositeofr-o-w-d-i-e.andthenthesecondtimeitriedit,thecounselorcameuptomewithaconcernedexpressiononherfaceandsherepeatedthepointaboutcampspiritandsaidweshouldallworkveryhardtobeoutgoing.
andsoiputmybooksaway,backintheirsuitcase,andiputthemundermybed,andtheretheystayedfortherestofthesummer.andifeltkindofguiltyaboutthis.ifeltasifthebooksneededmesomehow,andtheywerecallingouttomeandiwasforsakingthem.butididforsakethemandididn'
topenthatsuitcaseagainuntiliwasbackhomewithmyfamilyattheendofthesummer.
now,itellyouthisstoryaboutsummercamp.icouldhavetoldyou50othersjustlikeit--allthetimesthatigotthemessagethatsomehowmyquietandintrovertedstyleofbeingwasnotnecessarilytherightwaytogo,thatishouldbetryingtopassasmoreofanextrovert.andialwayssenseddeepdownthatthiswaswrongandthatintrovertswereprettyexcellentjustastheywere.butforyearsideniedthisintuition,andsoibecameawallstreetlawyer,ofallthings,insteadofthewriterthatihadalwayslongedtobe--partlybecauseineededtoprovetomyselfthaticouldbeboldandassertivetoo.andiwasalwaysgoingofftocrowdedbarswhenireallywouldhavepreferredtojusthaveanicedinnerwithfriends.andimadetheseself-negatingchoicessoreflexively,thatiwasn'
tevenawarethatiwasmakingthem.
nowthisiswhatmanyintrovertsdo,andit'
sourlossforsure,butitisalsoourcolleagues'
lossandourcommunities'
loss.andattheriskofsoundinggrandiose,itistheworld'
sloss.becausewhenitcomestocreativityandtoleadership,weneedintrovertsdoingwhattheydobest.athirdtoahalfofthepopulationareintroverts--athirdtoahalf.sothat'
soneoutofeverytwoorthreepeopleyouknow.soevenifyou'
reanextrovertyourself,i'
mtalkingaboutyourcoworkersandyourspousesandyourchildrenandthepersonsittingnexttoyourightnow--allofthemsubjecttothisbiasthatisprettydeepandrealinoursociety.weallinternalizeitfromaveryearlyagewithoutevenhavingalanguageforwhatwe'
redoing.
nowtoseethebiasclearlyyouneedtounderstandwhatintroversionis.it'
sdifferentfrombeingshy.shynessisaboutfearofsocialjudgment.introversionismoreabout,howdoyourespondtostimulation,includingsocialstimulation.soextrovertsreallycravelargeamountsofstimulation,whereasintrovertsfeelattheirmostaliveandtheirmostswitched-onandtheirmostcapablewhenthey'
reinquieter,morelow-keyenvironments.notallthetime--thesethingsaren'
tabsolute--butalotofthetime.sothekeythentomaximizingourtalentsisforusalltoputourselvesinthezoneofstimulationthatisrightforus.
butnowhere'
swherethebiascomesin.ourmostimportantinstitutions,ourschoolsandourworkplaces,theyaredesignedmostlyforextrovertsandforextroverts'
needforlotsofstimulation.andalsowehavethisbeliefsystemrightnowthaticallthenewgroupthink,whichholdsthatallcreativityandallproductivitycomesfromaveryoddlygregariousplace.
soifyoupicturethetypicalclassroomnowadays:
wheniwasgoingtoschool,wesatinrows.wesatinrowsofdeskslikethis,andwedidmostofourworkprettyautonomously.butnowadays,yourtypicalclassroomhaspodsofdesks--fourorfiveorsixorsevenkidsallfacingeachother.andkidsareworkingincountlessgroupassignments.eveninsubjectslikemathandcreativewriting,whichyouthinkwoulddependonsoloflightsofthought,kidsarenowexpectedtoactascommitteemembers.andforthekidswhoprefertogooffbythemselvesorjusttoworkalone,thosekidsareseenasoutliersoftenor,worse,asproblemcases.andthevastmajorityofteachersreportsbelievingthattheidealstudentisanextrovertasopposedtoanintrovert,eventhoughintrovertsactuallygetbettergradesandaremoreknowledgeable,accordingtoresearch.(laughter)
okay,samethingistrueinourworkplaces.now,mostofusworkinopenplanoffices,withoutwalls,wherewearesubjecttotheconstantnoiseandgazeofourcoworkers.andwhenitcomestoleadership,introvertsareroutinelypassedoverforleadershippositions,eventhoughintrovertstendtobeverycareful,muchlesslikelytotakeoutsizerisks--whichissomethingwemightallfavornowadays.andinterestingresearchbyadamgrantatthewhartonschoolhasfoundthatintrovertedleadersoftendeliverbetteroutcomesthanextrovertsdo,becausewhentheyaremanagingproactiveemployees,they'
remuchmorelikelytoletthoseemployeesrunwiththeirideas,whereasanextrovertcan,quiteunwittingly,getsoexcitedaboutthingsthatthey'
reputtingtheirownstamponthings,andotherpeople'
sideasmightnotaseasilythenbubbleuptothesurface.
nowinfact,someofourtransformativeleadersinhistoryhavebeenintroverts.i'
llgiveyousomeexamples.eleanorroosevelt,rosaparks,gandhi--allthesepeopleddescribedthemselvesasquietandsoft-spokenandevenshy.andtheyalltookthespotlight,eventhougheveryboneintheirbodieswastellingthemnotto.andthisturnsouttohaveaspecialpowerallitsown,becausepeoplecouldfeelthattheseleaderswereatthehelm,notbecausetheyenjoyeddirectingothersandnotoutofthepleasureofbeinglookedat;
theyweretherebecausetheyhadnochoice,becausetheyweredriventodowhattheythoughtwasright.
nowithinkatthispointit'
simportantformetosaythatiactuallyloveextroverts.ialwaysliketosaysomeofmybestfriendsareextroverts,includingmybelovedhusband.andweallfallatdifferentpoints,ofcourse,alongtheintrovert/extrovertspectrum.evencarljung,thepsychologistwhofirstpopularizedtheseterms,saidthatthere'
snosuchthingasapureintrovertorapureextrovert.hesaidthatsuchamanwouldbeinalunaticasylum,ifheexistedatall.andsomepeoplefallsmackinthemiddleoftheintrovert/extrovertspectrum,andwecallthesepeopleambiverts.andioftenthinkthattheyhavethebestofallworlds.butmanyofusdorecognizeourselvesasonetypeortheother.
andwhati'
msayingisthatculturallyweneedamuchbetterbalance.weneedmoreofayinandyangbetweenthesetwotypes.thisisespeciallyimportantwhenitcomestocreativityandtoproductivity,becausewhenpsychologistslookatthelivesofthemostcreativepeople,whattheyfindarepeoplewhoareverygoodatexchangingideasandadvancingideas,butwhoalsohaveaseriousstreakofintroversioninthem.
andthisisbecausesolitudeisacrucialingredientoftentocreativity.sodarwin,hetooklongwalksaloneinthewoodsandemphaticallyturneddowndinnerpartyinvitations.theodorgeisel,betterknownasdr.seuss,hedreamedupmanyofhisamazingcreationsinalonelybelltowerofficethathehadinthebackofhishouseinlajolla,california.andhewasactuallyafraidtomeettheyoungchildrenwhoreadhisbooksforfearthattheywereexpectinghimthiskindofjollysantaclaus-likefigureandwouldbedisappointedwithhismorereservedpersona.stevewozniakinventedthefirstapplecomputersittingaloneinhiscubicalinhewlett-packardwherehewasworkingatthetime.andhesaysthatheneverwouldhavebecomesuchanexpertinthefirstplacehadhenotbeentoointrovertedtoleavethehousewhenhewasgrowingup.
nowofcourse,thisdoesnotmeanthatweshouldallstopcollaborating--andcaseinpoint,isstevewozniakfamouslycomingtogetherwithstevejobstostartapplecomputer--butitdoesmeanthatsolitudemattersandthatforsomepeopleitistheairthattheybreathe.andinfact,wehaveknownforcenturiesaboutthetranscendentpowerofsolitude.it'
sonlyrecentlythatwe'
vestrangelybeguntoforgetit.ifyoulookatmostoftheworld'
smajorreligions,youwillfindseekers--moses,jesus,buddha,muhammad--seekerswhoaregoingoffbythemselvesalonetothewildernesswheretheythenhaveprofoundepiphaniesandrevelationsthattheythenbringbacktotherestofthecommunity.sonowilderness,norevelations.
thisisnosurprisethoughifyoulookattheinsight