幽默英语演讲稿多篇Word格式.docx

幽默英语演讲稿多篇Word格式.docx

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所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣"

这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...

thelittleboygrewupandbecameaman,

stillwonderingwhywomencry.

等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,

他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.

finallyheputinacalltogodandwhengodgotbacktohim,heasked"

god,whydowomencrysoeasily?

最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问"

上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?

godanswered......

上帝回答:

whenimadewoman,

idecidedshehadtobespecial.

imadehershoulders

strongenoughtocarry

theweightoftheworld,yet,

madeherarmsgentleenoughtogivefort...

当我创造女人的时候,

我决定把她造的很特别,

我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是,

却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...

igavehertheinnerstrength

toendurechildbirth

andtherejection

thatmanytimeswille

evenfromherownchildren.

我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛,

也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害,

甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...

igaveherahardness

thatallowsher

tokeepgoingandtakecare

ofherfamilyandfriends,

evenwheneveryoneelsegivesup,throughsicknessandfatiguewithout

plaining....

我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进,

并且照顾自己的家人和朋友,

甚至当每个人都放弃的时候,

她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...

igaveherthesensitivitytoloveherchildrenunderanyandallcircumstances.evenwhenherchildhashurtherbadly....

shehastheveryspecialpowertomakeachild'

sboo-boofeelbetterandtoquellateenager'

sanxietiesandfears....

我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候．．．

她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧．．．

igaveherstrengthtocareforherhusband,despitefaults

andifashionedherfromhisribtoprotecthisheart....

我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错．我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏．．．

igaveherwisdomtoknowthatagoodhusbandneverhurtshiswife,butsometimestestsherstrengthsandherresolvetostandbesidehimunfalteringly....

我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心．

forallofthishardwork,

ialsogaveherateartoshed.

itisherstouse

wheneverneededand

itisheronlyweakness....

whenyouseehercry,

tellherhowmuchyouloveher,andallshedoesforeveryone,andeventhough

shemaystillcry,youwillhavemadeherheartfeelgood.

因为这些种种的困难，

我也同样赐她流下眼泪，

这是当她在需要时可以使用的，

这是她唯一的软弱之处．．．

当你看到她哭泣的时候，

告诉她你有多么地爱她，

告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，

即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，

但你会使她的心里得到安慰．

sheisspecial!

pleasesendthistowomenyouknow,andthosewithmothers,

sisters,andspecialwomenintheirlives.

她是独特的！

请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人，有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人．

but,alsosendthistomensotheywillunderstandaboutwhatawonderfulthingawomanis.

eachdayisamountainthatmustbeclimbed;

withcourageeachstepgetseasier.

但是，也把这个信息传递给男人，因此他们会明白女人是多么奇妙的被造物．

每一天，生活中都会有必须爬的山，但是勇气会使每一步都更轻松．

loveyourmotheralways

永远爱你的母亲，

andkeephersmiling

并且使她微笑常在

第二篇：

新初中幽默英语演讲稿

loveyourmother

爱你的母亲

一个小男孩问他的妈妈.

shetoldhim.

因为我是女人,她告诉他.

hesaid.

我不明白.他回答

hismomjusthuggedhimandsaid,

.......

laterthelittleboyaskedhisfather,

.

wasallhisdadcouldsay......

这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...

thelittleboygrewupandbecameaman,

stillwonderingwhywomencry.

等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,

他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.

godanswered......

whenimadewoman,

idecidedshehadtobespecial.

imadehershoulders

strongenoughtocarry

theweightoftheworld,yet,

madeherarmsgentleenoughtogivefort...

当我创造女人的时候,

我决定把她造的很特别,

第三篇：

七年级五班英语幽默故事大赛演讲稿

doyoulikestories?

iwanttotellyouatruestory.

ithappenedtoafriendofmineayearago.

whilemyfriend,george,wasreadinginbed,twothievesclimbedintohiskitchen.

aftertheyhadenteredthehouse,

theywentintothediningroom.

itwasverydark,

sotheyturnedonatorch.

suddenly,theyheardavoicebehindthem.‘what’sup?

what’sup?

’someonecalled.thethievesdroppedthetorch

andranawayasquicklyastheycould.

georgeheardthenoise

andcamedownstairsquickly.

heturnedonthelight,

buthecouldn’tseeanyone.

thethieveshadalreadygone.

butgeorge’sparrot,henry,wasstillthere.‘what’sup,george?

’hecalled.

‘nothing,henry.’georgesaidandsmiled.‘gobacktosleep.’

第四篇：

幽默英语

英语幽默对话buyyouadrink?

（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？

）女:

actuallyi'

dratherhavethemoney.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱.）

经典对话二：

男：

canihaveyourname?

（直译：

我能有你的名字吗？

）

女：

why?

don'

tyoualreadyhaveone?

（为什么？

你不是已经有一个了吗？

）经典对话三：

i'

maphotographer.i'

vebeenlookingforafacelikeyours.（我是摄影师。

我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。

maplasticsurgeon.i'

vebeenlookingforafacelikeyours.（我是整形外科医生。

我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。

经典对话四：

isthisseatempty?

这个座位是空的吧？

yes,andthisonewillbeifyousitdown.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。

）经典对话五：

haven'

tiseenyousomeplacebefore?

（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？

yes.that'

swhyidon'

tgothereanymore.（是的。

这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。

经典对话六：

willyougooutwithmethissaturday?

（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？

）女：

sorry.i'

mhavingaheadachethisweekend.（抱歉。

这个周末我头疼。

）经典对话七：

ithinkicouldmakeyouveryhappy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。

areyouleaving?

（是吗？

你是说你要离开？

第五篇：

英语幽默

theinsaneasylum

lateonenightattheinsaneasylum,oneinmateshouted,“iamnapoleon.”anotheronesaid,“howdoyouknow?

”.

thefirstinmatesaid,“godtoldme!

”

justthen,avoicefromanotherroomshouted,“ididnot!

improvement

onestudentsaidtoanother,“howareyourenglishlessonsingalong?

“fine,iusedtobeonewhocouldn’tunderstandtheenglishmen,andnowit’stheenglishmenwhocan’tunderstandme.”

allexceptthemusic

akeenyoungteacherwantedtointroduceherclasstothegloriesofclassicalmusic,soshearrangedanoutingtoanafternoonconcert.tomaketheoccasionevenmorememorable,shetreatedeveryonetolomonade,cake,chocsandices.justasthepartywasgettingbackintotheircoach,shesaidtolittlesally,“haveyouenjoyedyourselftoday?

“oh,yes,miss”saidsally,“itwaslovely.allexceptthemusic,thatis.”

halforfivetenths

teacher:

wouldyouratherhaveonehalfofanorangeorfivetenths?

gerad:

iwouldmuchratherhavethehalf.

thinkcarefullyandtellmewhy.

becauseyoulosetoomuchjuicewhenyoucuttheorangeintofivetenths.

thereasonforbeinglate

whyareyoulateforschooleverymorning?

jonny:

becauseeverytimeigettothecorner,aguidepostsays,“school-----goslowly”.

whendopeopletalkleast?

sta:

whendopeopletalkleast?

stb:

infebruary.

why?

becausefebruaryistheshortestmonthinayear.

pluralformofchild

t:

what’sthepluralformof“man”?

s:

it’s“men”,.

goodandthepluralof“child”?

twins.

mysister’sfingers

whyareyoulatethistime?

pleasesir,ibruisedtwofingersknockinganailathome.

idon’tseeanybandages.

oh,theyweren’tmyfingers!

itoldmylittlesistertoholdthenail.

whatistheclimateofnewzealand

what’stheclimateofnewzealand?

verycold,sir.

wrong.

but,sir!

whentheysendusmeatitalwaysarrivesfrozen!

lightening

whythelighteningneverstrikethesameplacetwice?

becausethestrokeplaceisn’tthereanymore.

howmanyrabbits?

now,jonathan,ifigaveyouthreerabbitsandthenthenextdayigavefiverabbits,howmanyrabbitswouldyouhave?

nine,sir!

nine?

i’vegotonealready.

togotoheaven

sundayschoolteacher:

handsupallthosewhowanttogotoheaven?

handsup……whataboutyou,terry?

youhavent’sgotyourhandup----don’tyouwanttogotoheaven?

terry:

ican’t.mymumtoldmetogostraighthome.

iwasn’tasleep

whenagroupofwomengotonthebus,alltheseatswearoccupied.theconductornoticedamanwhoseemedtobeasleep,andfearinghemightmisshisstop,henudgedhimandsaid,“wakeup,sir!

“iwasnotasleep,”saidtheman.

“notasleep?

butyouhadyoureyesclosed.”

“iknow.ijusthatetolookatladiesstandingupbesidemeinacrowdedcar”

ourtails

alectureronevolutionhadbeengoingonfornearlytwohoursandthenhestartedagain,andhesaid,“letmeasktheevolutionistaquestion----ifwehadtailslikeababoon,wherearethey?

“i’llventureananswer,”saidanoldlady.“wehavewornthemoffsittingheresolong.”

theumbrella

agentlemanstayinginahotellefthisumbrellainthehall.heputonthehandleacardonwhichwasritten:

“thisumbrellabelongstoagentlemanwhocanliftup100poundsandishallbebackintenminutes.”

whenhecameback,hefound,insteadofhisumbrella,anothercardonwhichwasritten:

“thiscardbelongstoamanwhocanruntenmilesanhour,ishallnoteback.”

thegreatevent

whatgreateventhappenedin1809?

abrahamlincolnwasborn?

right!

andwhatgreateventhappenedin1812?

lincolnhadhisthirdbirthday.

alwaysshare!

anoldcouplewentintoarestaurantandorderedsomethingtoeat:

onecocacolaandoneportionoffrenchfries.theoldmansatdownandthewoman,hiswife,satoppositehim,andhebegantodividethecodacolaintotwoglasses,halfforhimandhalfforhiswife.hedevidedallthefrechfrieshalf-and-half..hegavehalftohiswifeandkepthalf