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Unit1

Time-ConsciousAmericans

Americansbelievenoonestandsstill.Ifyouarenotmovingahead,youarefallingbehind.Thisattituderesultsinanationofpeoplecommittedtoresearching,experimentingandexploring.TimeisoneofthetwoelementsthatAmericanssavecarefully,theotherbeinglabor.

"Weareslavestonothingbuttheclock,"ithasbeensaid.Timeistreatedasifitweresomethingalmostreal.Webudgetit,saveit,wasteit,stealit,killit,cutit,accountforit;wealsochargeforit.Itisapreciousresource.Manypeoplehavearatheracutesenseoftheshortnessofeachlifetime.Oncethesandshaverunoutofaperson'shourglass,theycannotbereplaced.Wewanteveryminutetocount.

Aforeigner'sfirstimpressionoftheUSislikelytobethateveryoneisinarush—oftenunderpressure.Citypeoplealwaysappeartobehurryingtogetwheretheyaregoing,restlesslyseekingattentioninastore,orelbowingothersastheytrytocompletetheirshopping.Racingthroughdaytimemealsispartofthepaceoflifeinthiscountry.Workingtimeisconsideredprecious.Othersinpubliceating-placesarewaitingforyoutofinishsothey,too,canbeservedandgetbacktoworkwithinthetimeallowed.Youalsofinddriverswillbeabruptandpeoplewillpushpastyou.Youwillmisssmiles,briefconversations,andsmallexchangeswithstrangers.Don'ttakeitpersonally.Thisisbecausepeoplevaluetimehighly,andtheyresentsomeoneelse"wasting"itbeyondacertainappropriatepoint.

ManynewarrivalsintheStateswillmisstheopeningexchangesofabusinesscall,forexample.Theywillmisstheritualinteractionthatgoeswithawelcomingcupofteaorcoffeethatmaybeaconventionintheirowncountry.Theymaymissleisurelybusinesschatsinarestaurantorcoffeehouse.Normally,Americansdonotassesstheirvisitorsinsuchrelaxedsurroundingsoverextendedsmalltalk;muchlessdotheytakethemoutfordinner,oraroundonthegolfcoursewhiletheydevelopasenseoftrust.Sincewegenerallyassessandprobeprofessionallyratherthansocially,westarttalkingbusinessveryquickly.Timeis,therefore,alwaystickinginourinnerear.

Consequently,weworkhardatthetaskofsavingtime.Weproduceasteadyflowoflabor-savingdevices;wecommunicaterapidlythroughfaxes,phonecallsoremailsratherthanthroughpersonalcontacts,whichthoughpleasant,takelonger—especiallygivenourtraffic-filledstreets.We,therefore,savemostpersonalvisitingforafter-workhoursorforsocialweekendgatherings.

Toustheimpersonalityofelectroniccommunicationhaslittleornorelationtothesignificanceofthematterathand.Insomecountriesnomajorbusinessisconductedwithouteyecontact,requiringface-to-faceconversation.InAmerica,too,afinalagreementwillnormallybesignedinperson.However,peoplearemeetingincreasinglyontelevisionscreens,conducting"teleconferences"tosettleproblemsnotonlyinthiscountrybutalso—bysatellite—internationally.

TheUSisdefinitelyatelephonecountry.Almosteveryoneusesthetelephonetoconductbusiness,tochatwithfriends,tomakeorbreaksocialappointments,tosay"Thankyou",toshopandtoobtainallkindsofinformation.Telephonessavethefeetandendlessamountsoftime.Thisisduepartlytothefactthatthetelephoneserviceissuperbhere,whereasthepostalserviceislessefficient.

Somenewarrivalswillcomefromcultureswhereitisconsideredimpolitetoworktooquickly.Unlessacertainamountoftimeisallowedtoelapse,itseemsintheireyesasifthetaskbeingconsideredwereinsignificant,notworthyofproperrespect.Assignmentsare,consequently,givenaddedweightbythepassageoftime.IntheUS,however,itistakenasasignofskillfulnessorbeingcompetenttosolveaproblem,orfulfillajobsuccessfully,withspeed.Usually,themoreimportantataskis,themorecapital,energy,andattentionwillbepouredintoitinorderto"getitmoving".

Unit2

LearningtheOlympicStandardforLove

NikolaiPetrovichAnikinwasnothalfasintimidatingasIhadimaginedhewouldbe.No,thissurelywasnottheex-Sovietcoachmyfatherhadshippedmeouttomeet.

ButNikolaihewas,Petrovichandall.Heinvitedmeinsideandsatdownonthecouch,pattingtheblanketnexttohimtogetmetositnexttohim.Iwassonervousinhispresence.

"Youareyoung,"hebeganinhisRussian-styleEnglish."IfyouliketotryforOlympicGames,Iguessyouwillbeabletodothis.NaganoOlympicstoosoonforyou,butfor2002inSaltLakeCity,youcouldbeready."

"Yes,whynot?

"herepliedtotheshockedlookonmyface.Iwasapromisingamateurskier,butbynomeansthetopskierinthecountry."Ofcourse,therewillbemanyhardtrainingsessions,andyouwillcry,butyouwillimprove."

Tobesure,therewerecountlesstrainingsessionsfullofpainandmorethanafewtears,butinthefiveyearsthatfollowedIcouldalwayscountonbeingencouragedbyNikolai'samusingstoriesandsenseofhumor.

"Myfriends,theygointhemovies,theygointhedance,theygooutwithgirls,"hewouldstart."ButI,"hewouldcontinue,loweringhisvoice,"Iampractice,practice,practiceinthestadium.Andbythenextyear,Ihadcut1-1/2minutesoffmytimeinthe15-kilometerrace!

"Myfriendsaskedme,'Nikolai,howdidyoudoit?

'AndIreplied,'Yougointhemovies,yougointhedance,yougooutwithgirls,butIampractice,practice,practice.'

Herethestoryusuallyended,butononeoccasion,whichwelaterlearnedwashis25thweddinganniversary,hestoodproudlyinawornwoolensweaterandsmiledandwhispered,"AndItellyou,Iam26yearsoldbeforeIeverkissagirl!

ShewasthewomanIlatermarry."

Romanticandotherwise,Nikolaiknewlove.Hisconsistentgoodhumor,quietgratitude,perceptivity,andsinceritysetanOlympicstandardforlovethatIcontinuetoreachfor,eventhoughmyskiingdaysareover.

Still,heneverbabiedme.OneFebruarydayIhadamassiveheadacheandfeltquitefatigued.Icameuponhiminaclearing,andafterapproximately15minutesofstridingintothecoldbreezeoverthewhitepowdertocatchhim,Ifussed,"Oh,Nikolai,IfeellikeIamgoingtodie."

"Whenyouareahundredyearsold,everybodydies,"hesaid,indifferenttomypain."Butnow,"hecontinuedfirmly."Nowmustbeski,ski,ski."

And,onskis,Ididwhathesaid.Onothermatters,though,Iwasrebellious.Once,hepacked10ofusintoaFinnishbachelor'stinyhomeforalow-budgetskicamp.WeawokethefirstmorningtofindNikolaimakingbreakfastandthenmadequickworkwithourspoonswhilesittingonmakeshiftchairsaroundatinycardtable.Whenwewerefinished,Nikolaistackedthestickybowlsinfrontofmysolefemaleteammateandme,asserting,"Now,girlsdodishes!

"

Ithrewmynapkinonthefloorandsworeathim,"Askthedamnboys!

Thisisunfair."Heneveraskedthisofmeagain,nordidhetakemuchnoticeofmyoutburst.Hesavedhispassionforskiing.

Whencoaching,hewouldsingouthisinstructionskeepingrhythmwithourstride:

"Yes,yes,one-two-three,one-two-three."Adearladyfriendofmygrandfather,afterviewingacopyofavideoofmetrainingwithNikolai,asked,"Doeshealsoteachdance?

"

Intraining,IworkedwithoutresttocorrectmistakesthatNikolaipointedoutandIaskedaftereachpassifitwasbetter.

"Yes,it'sOK.Butthefasterkneedown,thebetter."

"Butisitfastenough?

"I'dpersist.

Finallyhewouldfrownandsay,"Billiontimesyoumakemotion—thenbeperfect,"remindingmeinanI've-told-you-a-billion-timestone,"Youmustbepatient."

Nikolai'spatienceandmyhardworkearnedmeafourth-placenationalrankingheadingintothepre-Olympicseason,butthenImissedthecutforthe2002Olympics.

Lastsummer,IreturnedtovisitNikolai.Hemademetea...anddidthedishes!

Wetalkedwhilesittingonhiscouch.MissingtheOlympicTeamthepreviousyearhadmademepauseandreflectonwhatIhadgained—nottheleastofwhichwasaquiet,indissolublebondwithashortmaninatropicalshirt.

Nikolaitaughtmetohavethecourage,heart,anddisciplinetopersist,evenifittakesabilliontries.Hetaughtmetobethankfulinadvanceforacenturyoflifeonearth,andtoremindmyselfeverydaythatdespitethechallengesathand,"Nowmustbelove,love,love."

Unit3

MarrigeAcrossNations

GailandIimaginedaquietwedding.Duringourtwoyearstogetherwehadexperiencedtheusualupsanddownsofacouplelearningtoknow,understand,andrespecteachother.Butthroughitallwehadhonestlyconfrontedtheweaknessesandstrengthsofeachother'scharacters.

Ourracialandculturaldifferencesenhancedourrelationshipandtaughtusagreatdealabouttolerance,compromise,andbeingopenwitheachother.GailsometimeswonderedwhyIandotherblacksweresoinvolvedwiththeracialissue,andIwassurprisedthatsheseemedtoforgetthesubtlerformsofracialhatredinAmericansociety.

GailandIhadnoillusionsaboutwhatthefutureheldforusasamarriedmixedcoupleinAmerica.Thecontinualsourceofourstrengthwasourmutualtrustandrespect.

Wewantedtoavoidthemistakemadebymanycouplesofmarryingforthewrongreasons,andonlyfindingoutten,twenty,orthirtyyearslaterthattheywereincompatible,thattheyhardlytookthetimetoknoweachother,thattheyoverlookedseriouspersonalityconflictsintheexpectationthatmarriagewasanautomaticwaytomakeeverythingworkoutright.ThatpointwasemphasizedbythefactthatGail'sparents,afterthirty-fiveyearsofmarriage,weregoingthroughabitterandpainfuldivorce,whichhaddestroyedGailandforati