六人行116The One With Two PartsPart 1.docx

六人行116The One With Two PartsPart 1.docx

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六人行116TheOneWithTwoPartsPart1

六人行1-16TheOneWithTwoParts:

Part1

[Scene:

Rift?

sRestaurant,asseeninMadAboutYou,JoeyandChandlerarethere.]

Chandler:

Thisisunbelievable.It?

sbeenlikeahalfanhour.Ifthiswasacartoon,you?

dbelookinglikeahamrightaboutnow.

（UrsulaBuffay,Phoebe?

sidenticaltwinsister,iswaitingontablesinherinimitablemanner.）

Joey:

There?

sthewaitress.Excuseme,Miss.Hello,Miss?

（Ursulaspinsaroundlookingpuzzled,quiteunabletotellwherethesoundiscomingfrom.）

Chandler:

It?

sPhoebe!

Hi!

（UrsulanoticesJoeywavinghishand,andcomesover.）

Ursula:

Hi.Okay,willthatbeall?

Chandler:

Wait,wait!

Wh-whatareyoudoinghere?

Ursula:

Yeah,um,Iwasoverthere,thenyousaid,"Excuseme,helloMiss,"sonowI?

mhere.

Joey:

No,no...howcomeyouareworkinghere?

Ursula:

Right,yeah,?

causeitsclosetowhereIlive,andtheapronsarereallycute.

Chandler:

Canwestartover?

Ursula:

Yeah.Okaygreat.I?

mgonnabeoverhere.（Shewandersaway.）

ChandlerandJoey:

No,no,no!

OpeningCredits

[Scene:

AwintryFebruarydayinNewYorkCity,snowplowsareclearingthestreets.InsideCentralPerk,allthreegirlsarepayingcourttoRoss.]

Ross:

Idon?

tknowwhetherhe?

stestingme,orjustactingout,butmymonkeyisoutofcontrol.But,hekeepserasingthemessagesonmymachine,"supposedly"byaccident.

Rachel:

No,yeah,I?

vedonethat.

Ross:

Andthen,likethreedaysinarowhegottothenewspaperbeforeIdid,andpeedalloverthecrossword.

Rachel:

I?

veneverdonethat.

（Outsideinthestreet,JoeyandChandlerarrive,topeerthroughthewindowatPhoebe,bybendingdowntolookunderneaththeshop?

ssign?

alargesteamingcupofcoffee.）

Chandler:

Allright,nowlookatherandtellmeshedoesn?

tlookexactlylikehersister.

Joey:

I?

msayin?

Iseeadifference.

Chandler:

They?

retwins!

Joey:

Idon?

tcare.Phoebe?

sPhoebe.Ursula?

s...hot!

（JoeyandChandlercomeindoors.）

Chandler:

Youknowthatthing,whenyouandItalktoeachotheraboutthings?

Joey:

Yeah.

Chandler:

Let?

snotdothatanymore.

（Theyhanguptheircoatsandscarves,thenapproachtheirfriendsonthemainsofa.）

All:

Heyguys!

Hey!

Joey:

HeyPheebs,guesswhowesawtoday.

Phoebe:

Ooh,ooh,fun!

Okay...um,LiamNeeson.

Joey:

Nope.

Phoebe:

MorlySafer.

Joey:

Nope.

Phoebe:

Thewomanwhocutsmyhair!

Monica:

Okay,look,thiscouldbeareallylonggame.

Chandler:

YoursisterUrsula.

Phoebe:

（Herfacedropping）Oh,really.

Chandler:

Yeah,yeah,sheworksoveratthatplace,uh...

Phoebe:

Rift?

s.Yeah,Iknow.

Chandler:

Oh,youdo?

Becauseshesaidyouguyshaven?

ttalkedinlikeyears.

Phoebe:

Hmmm?

Yeah.So,um,isshefat?

Joey:

NotfromwhereIwasstandin?

.

Phoebe:

（TurningtoChandler）wherewereyoustanding?

Rachel:

Um,Pheebs,so,youguysjustdon?

tgetalong?

Phoebe:

It?

smostlyjustdumbsisterstuff,youknow,Imean,like,everyonealwaysthoughtofherastheprettyone,youknow...Oh,oh,shewasthefirstonetostartwalking,eventhoughIdidit...laterthatsameday.But,tomyparents,bythenitwaslike"yeah,right,wellwhatelseisnew?

"

Ross:

Oh,Pheebs,I?

msorry,I?

vegottogo.I?

vegotLamazeclass.

Chandler:

Oh,andI?

vegotEarthScience,butI'llcatchyouinGym.

Rachel:

So,isthisjustgonnabeyouandCarol?

Ross:

No,Susan?

sgonnabetheretoo.We?

vegotdads,we?

vegotlesbians,thewholeparentingteam.

Rachel:

Well,isn?

t,isn?

tthatgonnabeweird?

Ross:

No,no.（Distractedlyputtingonajackettogoout）Imean,itmightabeenatfirst,butbynowI,IthinkI?

mprettycomfortablewiththewholesituation.

Monica:

Ross,that?

smyjacket.

Ross:

Iknow.

（RachelgrinsasRossremovesthegirliejacket,grabshisown,andrushesout.）

[Scene:

TheLamazeclass,severalcouplesandonetriositonthefloor,introducingthemselvestotheteacher,who?

sgotasfarasawomansittingnexttoRoss,Carol,andSusan.]

Woman:

Hi,we?

retheRostins.Err,I?

mJ.C.,andhe?

sMichael,andwe?

rehavingaboy,andagirl.

Teacher:

Goodforyou.Alrighty,next?

Ross:

Hi,um,I?

merr,（hastoclearhisthroat）I?

mRossGeller,anderrah...（patsCarol?

sbulge）..that?

s,that?

smyboyinthere,anduh,（points）thisisCarolWillick,andthis...isSusanBunch.SusanisumCarol?

s,just,com...（embarrassmentfinallyoverwhelmsthepoorfellow,whobecomesincoherentuntil）..who?

snext?

Teacher:

I?

msorry,Ididn?

tget...Susanis?

Ross:

SusanisCarol?

s,Carol?

s,Carol?

s,friend...

Carol:

Lifepartner.

Ross:

Likebuddies.

Susan:

Likelovers.

Ross:

Youknowhowclosewomencanget.

（Theteachersmiles,buthereyebrowsgoup.SusanandCarolpateachotheraffectionately.）

Carol:

SusanandIlivetogether.

Ross:

AlthoughIwasmarriedtoher.

Susan:

Carol,notme.

Ross:

Err,right.

Carol:

It?

salittlecomplicated.

Ross:

Alittle.

Susan:

Butwe?

refine.

Ross:

Absolutely.（Turnsbacktothewomannexttohim.）So,twins...hah!

That?

sliketwobirths.（Hestrugglesagain.）Ouch.

[Scene:

Chandler'sOffice,Chandlerisworking.]

（Helen?

sbuzzerisheardontheintercom,soChandlerpresseshisbutton,too.）

Chandler:

And（heimitatesthebuzzer）toyoutoo,Helen.

Helen:

（Overtheintercom）NinaBookbinderisheretoseeyou.

Chandler:

Oh,okay.Sendherin.

（Hehurriedlycheckshishairinhiscomputerscreen,beforetakingasportingtrophyfromadrawertoplaceostentatiouslyonhisdesk.Anattractiveyoungwomanopensthedoor.）

Nina:

Hi.

Chandler:

Hi,Nina.Comeonin.

Nina:

Youwantedtoseeme?

Chandler:

Uh,Yes.Yes.I?

vejustbeengoingoveryourdatahere,andlittlething,you?

vebeenpost-datingyourFridaynumbers.

Nina:

Whichisbad,because?

Chandler:

Well,itthrowsmyWENUSoutofwhack.

Nina:

Your...excuseme?

Chandler:

WENUS.（Coughs）WeeklyEstimatedNet...

Nina:

Oh,NetUsageStatistics,right.Gotcha,gotcha.Won?

thappenagain.Iwouldn?

twanttodoanythingtohurtyour..."wenus."

（NinabeamsflirtatiouslyatChandler,whocatchesherdrift,butforoncehe?

slostforsomethingtosay–soshenodsherheadtotellhimthathe?

sthinkingcorrectly...）

[Scene:

MonicaandRachel's,Ross,Chandler,andthegirlsaredividingsomeChinesetakeout,whilethesitcomFamilyMattersisplayingontheTV.]

Chandler:

It?

snotjustthatshe?

scute,okay.It?

sjustthat...she?

sreallyreallycute.

Ross:

Itdoesn?

tmatter.Youdon?

tdipyourpeninthecompanyink.

（Marcelscampersabout,interferingwiththeneatness.）

Monica:

Ross,yourlittlecreature?

sgottheremoteagain.

Ross:

Marcel,Marcel,giveRossietheremote.Marcel.Marcel,yougiveRossietheremoterightnow...Marce...yougiveRossietheremote...

（MarcelpointstheremoteatMonica?

stelevision,pressingaparticularcombinationofkeys.ThelogoSAPappearsonthescreen,andsuddenlythedialogueisdubbedintoSpanish.）

Monica:

Great.

Ross:

Relax,I?

llfixit.

Rachel:

（Lookingatthetelevision）Cool..."Urkel"inSpanishis"Urkel."

Ross:

（lookingattheremote）Howdidhedothis?

Chandler:

（Lookingoutatthebalcony）Sotellmesomething,isleavingtheChristmaslightsuppartofyourplantokeepusmerryallyearlong?

（Rachelslowlyspinsaround,finallynoticingthatthelightshaveoutstayedtheirwelcome.）

Monica:

Ahno,yousee,someonewassupposedtotakethemdownaroundNewYear?

s...butobviouslysomeoneforgot.

Rachel:

Well,someonewassupposedtowrite"Rach,takedownthelights"andputitonthere...frigerate...（finallynoticingMonica?

snotestucktotherefrigerator）Howlonghasthatbeenthere?

（Joeyenters,lookingextremelypleasedwithhimself.）

Chandler:

Hey,whereyoubeen?

Joey:

IwentbacktoRiff?

s.IthinkUrsulalikesme.AllIorderedwascoffee,shebroughtmeatunamelttandfourplatesofcurlyfries.

Chandler:

Score.

Joey:

Sheissohot!

Chandler:

Yeah,listen.Okay,beforeyoudoanythingJoey-like,youmightwannarunitbyerr...（heindicatesPhoebe,whoishelpingRossunderstandtheremotecontrol.）

Joey:

Pheebs?

Phoebe:

（Jumpingup）Yeah?

Joey:

YouthinkitwouldbeokayifIaskedoutyoursister?

Phoebe:

Why?

Whywouldyouwanna...dothat?

Why?

Joey:

Sothatifwewentoutonadate,she?

dbethere.

Phoebe:

Well,Imean,I?

mnotmysister?

s,youknow,whatever,andum...Imean,it?

strue,wewereoneegg,once,buterr,youknow,we?

vegrownapart,so,um...Idon?

tknow,whynot?

Okay.

Joey:

Cool,thanks.

（HehappilygesturesatChandlerthattherewasnothingtoworryabout,thenexits.RachelandMonicaareconcernedforpoorPhoebe,whoslidesbackdownnexttoRoss.）

Ross:

Youokay?

Phoebe:

YeahI?

mfine.

Ross:

YouwannawatchLaverneyShirley?

（Thesitcombeginswithitsfamiliarrefrain,yetwithaLatinlilt.RachelandMonicadoalittledancewiththeirchopsticks,andPhoebehastogrinasRossjoinsintherhythm.）

[Scene:

Lamazeclass.Susanisthere.Eachcouplehasadoll,fortheyhavejustfinishedlearninghowtochangeadiaper.AsRossrushesin,steppingontheRostins?

pretendbaby,squashingitsheadflat.Itbleats,inprotest.Heperformsemergencysurgery,thenhandsthedollbacktoJ.C.]

Ross:

Sorry.

Ross:

Hi.SorryI?

mlate.Where?

s,where?

sCarol?

Susan:

Stuckatschool.Someparent-teacherthing.Youcango.I?

llgettheinformation.

Ross:

No...No...No.IthinkIshouldstay,Ithinkweshouldbothknowwhat?

sgoingon.

Susan:

Oh,good.This?

llbefun.

Teacher:

Alrighty.We?

regonnastartwithsomebasicthirdstagebreathingexercises,soMummies,whydon?

tyougetonyourback?

And...coaches,youshouldbesupportingMummy?

shead.

（RossandSusaneachgesturefortheothertoliedown.）

RossandSusan:

What?

What?

What?

Susan:

Iamsupposedtobethemommy?

Ross:

Okay,I?

mgonnaplaymyspermcardonemoretime.

Susan: