高中英语写作小作文批改邀请信.docx

1、高中英语写作小作文批改邀请信高中英语写作小作文批改范文：邀请信第一篇Dear Bob,There will be held a wonderful music concern for piano and violin in the Musical Hall of the Centre Conservatory Of Music on Junuary 15st . We would be honored to have you there with us.The occasion will start at 7:00 PM on time. This will be followed by a

2、ticket that we have to given you by Express Email Survice before the concern. At around 6:50PM, January 15st, you may arrived to the CCOM because staff is checking our tickets ahead of time.I really hope you can make it RSVP before 6:50PM,January 15st,2013.Sincerely yours,Li Ming修改意见：Dear Bob，There

3、will be held (删除)a wonderful music (音乐会是concert)concern for(改为concerning) piano and violin in the Musical Hall of the Centre Conservatory Of Music on Junuary(拼写错误，改为January) 15st . We would be honored to have you there with us.The occasion will start at 7:00 PM on time. This will be followed by a ti

4、cket that we have to given you by Express Email Survice before the concern. (理解有误，本意是让你写在这个occasion后面是另外一个活动)At around 6:50PM, January 15st, you may arrived to the CCOM because staff is checking our tickets ahead of time.I really hope you can make it RSVP before 6:50PM,January 15st,2013.Sincerely yo

5、urs,Li Ming2分微点评：你对模版的理解不透彻，还不清楚每部分要写的内容，建议你看看论坛上别的同学的作文，了解一下每部分具体要写什么内容。第二篇Dear Mark,There will be a volunteer activitiy in the Childrens Welfare Institute Of Nanjing on this weekend . We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at 08:00.This will be followed by one more

6、arrangement .At around10:00, there will be another activity after the performance. All of us are going to Zhongshan park to have a Picnic, while helping Lily, the youngest girl in our group, to celebrity her birthday. I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the deadline for September 15th.修改意见：De

7、ar Mark,There will be a volunteer activitiy(拼写错误，改为activity) in the Childrens Welfare Institute Of Nanjing on this weekend . We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at 08:00.This will be followed by one more arrangement(此处应该写一个具体的活动) .At around10:00, there will be anot

8、her activity after the performance(删除 ). All of us are going to Zhongshan park to have a Picnic, while helping Lily, the youngest girl in our group, to celebrity (改为celebrate)her birthday.(给某人过生日，不要用help)I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the deadline for (删除，RSVP before的意思就是在之前通知我)September

9、 15th.加Sincerely yours，你的名字3分微点评：要注意书信的写作格式，你对模版的理解不透彻而且英语基础比较薄弱，建议你多看看满分作文。第三篇Dear Xiaohui,There will a dinner party at my house on April 12, 2013. We would be honored to have you there with us.The occasion will start at six oclock in the evening; with the taking photos. This will be followed by a

10、dinner party. At around ten oclock, we will have face party.I really hope you can make it, RSVP be fore April 12, we look forward to the pleasure of your company.Yours sincerely,Li Ming修改意见：Dear Xiaohui,There will (加be)a dinner party at my house on April 12, 2013. We would be honored to have you the

11、re with us.The occasion will start at six oclock in the evening; with the taking photos.(删除) This will be followed by a dinner party. At around ten oclock, we will have face party.(假面舞会是a masquerade ball )I really hope you can make it, RSVP be fore April 12, we look forward to the pleasure of your c

12、ompany.Yours sincerely,Li Ming3分微点评：考研的小作文要写到100词，写的太少是要被扣分的，这个模版只是给你提供了一个思路，很多内容还是需要自己填充的，另外，你开头说有一个dinner party，那么第二段的occasion指的就是这个party，因此This will be followed 后面要加一个新的活动，不能还是dinner party了。第四篇Dear Bob,We will to hold a school-wide party for Chinese cultural exchange on Saturday next week in Scho

13、ol Club. I am sure you would like it, as we all know it for you wonder to hear any regarding culture of China.There occasion will starting on seven oclock inevening, with a dinner party for convenient we understand other person. At around nine, free exchange will begin.If you do not any primay appoi

14、ntment at Saturday next week, we look forward to the pleasure of your company.Yours Truly LI Ming修改意见：Dear Bob,We will to hold a school-wide party for Chinese cultural exchange on Saturday next week in School Club. I am sure you would like it, as we all know it for you wonder to hear any regarding c

15、ulture of China.(不能理解你的意思)There(改为The) occasion will starting (will 后面加动词原形) on (改为at)seven oclock in (加the)evening, with a dinner party for convenient we understand other person(不能理解你的意思). At around nine, free exchange will begin.If you do not (加have)any primay(改为prior) appointment at(改为on) Saturda

16、y next week, we look forward to the pleasure of your company.Yours Truly(t写，加逗号)LI Ming2分微点评：你的英语基础比较薄弱，建议你多背一些满分作文，积累一些好词好句。第五篇Dear Bob,There will be a New Year party holded by the Students Union of Chinese Language and Literature Department at school stadium on January 1st. We would be honored to

17、have you there with us.The occasion will start at 6:00 oclock in the evening. This will be followed by a hot dancing farewell with all students there. At around one hour later, the game concerning not only dare or truth but also table games will start.I really hope you can make it and celebrate the

18、festival with us.RSVP before December 27th.Yours faithfully Li Ming修改意见：Dear Bob,There will be a New Year party holded(改为held )by the Students Union of Chinese Language and Literature Department at school stadium on January 1st. We would be honored to have you there with us.The occasion will start a

19、t 6:00 oclock in the evening. This will be followed by a hot dancing(改为dance) farewell with(用词不当，farewell with 是和挥别的意思，而在hot dance后面还有活动) all students there. At around one hour later(at around后面加具体的时间点), the game concerning not only dare or truth but also(改为dare or truth and ) table games will start

20、.I really hope you can make it and celebrate the festival with us(make it 就有后面和我们一起庆祝节日的意思了.) RSVP before December 27th.Yours faithfully(加逗号)Li Ming4分微点评：你对模版不熟悉，建议你多看看满分作文，熟悉一下这类作文的写作思路。对于不熟悉其词义或用法的词，尽量不用。5-7分第一篇Dear Kate,There will be a Christmas party at English corner on Dec.25th. We would be ho

21、nored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at 6 p.m. This will be followed by a game. At around 7 p.m. a meeting will be held. I really hope you can make it. RSVP before Dec.24th.Campus English CornerOctober 22, 2012修改意见：Dear Kate,There will be a Christmas party at English corner on De

22、c.25th. We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at 6 p.m. This will be followed by a game. At around 7 p.m. a meeting will be held. I really hope you can make it. RSVP before Dec.24th.(加Sincerely yours，) Campus English CornerOctober 22, 2012(删除)5分微点评：考研小作文的字数要求是100词左右，

23、你的作文虽然没有大问题，但是包含的内容太少，句型变换等也太少了。另外，要注意书信的格式。第二篇Dear Miss Yuan,There will be a celebrity party for the new year in the activity room on the next Saturday. We would be honored to have you there with us.The occasion will start at 6 oclock in the evening. This will be followed by a serious of wonderful

24、performances played by our classmates. At around 8 oclock, we project some interaction activities to animate the atmosphere so as to promote the relationships of classmates. Whats more, we prepared some gifts to be presented to the winners.I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the next Wednesda

25、y.Yours sincerely,Li Ming修改意见：Dear Miss Yuan,There will be a celebrity(改为celebration) party for the new year in the activity room on the next Saturday. We would be honored to have you there with us.The occasion will start at 6 oclock in the evening. This will be followed by a serious(拼写错误，改为series)

26、of wonderful performances played by our classmates. At around 8 oclock, we project some interaction activities to animate the atmosphere so as to promote the relationships of classmates. Whats more, we prepared some gifts to be presented to the winners.I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the(

27、删除) next Wednesday.Yours sincerely,Li Ming7分微点评：写作文的时候再细心一些，注意单词的拼写。背单词时要把词义背牢。第三篇Dear Professor,There will an Academic Exchange of East Asia International Law at No.1 lecture theatre on April 19, 2012. We should be honored to have you there with us.The occasion will start at 14:30. This will be fol

28、lowed by a communication about application of law of East Asia economic trade with other professors and experts come from Japan, Korea and other countries. At around 19:30, a dancing party will be holding in university auditorium.I really hope you can make it. RSVP before April 12,2012.Law School PK

29、UApril 5,2013修改意见：Dear Professor,There will an Academic Exchange of East Asia International Law at No.1 lecture theatre on April 19, 2012. We should be honored to have you there with us.The occasion will start at 14:30. This will be followed by a communication about application of law of East Asia e

30、conomic trade with other professors and experts come(改为coming) from Japan , Korea and other countries. At around 19:30, a dancing party will be holding(改为held) in university auditorium.I really hope you can make it. RSVP before April 12,2012.加Yours sincerely,Law School PKUApril 5,2013(删除)7分微点评：注意书信的

31、格式以及被动语态的问题。一句话里不能有两个谓语动词。第四篇Dear Bob,There will be a summer celebrate party for teenagers at the playground of Beijing Forgin University on this weekend. We would be honored to have you there with us.The occasion will start at 9:00 to 11:00in the morning of the Weekend. This will be followed by a m

32、usic gathering which you can communicate with others, also you can eat various kinds of delicious food. At around the next time to 5:00 pm, it is the free time for us to take a series of activities, such as playing cards, singing songs and so on.I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the final date that I have informed to you.Sincerely yours,Li Ming修改意见：Dear Bob,There will be a summer celebrate party for teenager