Friends剧本22.docx

1、Friends剧本22The One With the Breast MilkWritten by: Adam Chase & Ira UngerleiderTranscribed by: Mindy Mattingly PhillipsWith Minor Adjustments by: Eric AasenScene: Monica and Rachels, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.Monica: (entering from her bedroom carrying a present) Ok, these were

2、 unbelievably expensive, and I know hes gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldnt resist. (There a little pair of Nike shoes.)Phoebe: Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. (Ben starts to cry) Oh my God, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him?Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?Car

3、ol: I guess so. (Carol starts to breast feed Ben.)Chandler: You know, its. (sees the feeding taking place next to him) something funny about sneakers. Ill be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)Joey: (joins him) I gotta get one, too.Ross: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?Chan

4、dler: Were just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle?Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.Joey: Yeah, we know, but theres a baby suckin on it.Ross: This is my son having lunch, ok? Its gonna happen a lot, so youd better get used to it. Now if you have

5、 any problem with it, if youre uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carols fine with it, now come on.(They go back into the living room)Ross: Carol?Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?Carol: Sure.Joey: Uh, does it hurt?Carol: It did at first, but

6、 not anymore.Joey: Chandler?Chandler: So, uh, how often can you do it?Carol: As much as he needs.Joey: Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?Opening CreditsScene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.Julie: Rachel, do you have any muffins left?Rachel: Yeah,

7、 I forget which ones.Julie: Oh, youre busy, thats ok, Ill get it. Anybody else want one? All: No thanks.Julie: (To Rachel) Oh, youre losin your apron here, let me get it. There you go. (Ties it back up for her)Rachel: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.Julie: Oh, liste

8、n you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdales whos quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?Phoebe: I cant, I have to take my grandmother to the vet.Monica: Ok, um, Ill go with you. Julie: Great.Ross: (enters) Hi, honey.Chandler

9、: Hey, sweetums.Ross: Hello to the rest.All: Hi!Joey: Monica whatre you doin? You cant go shopping with her? What about Rachel?Monica: Its gonna be a problem, isnt it?Chandler: Come on, youre going to Bloomingdales with Julie? Thats like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.Monica: But Im.Phoe

10、be: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.Ross: (to Monica) So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?Monica: Yeah, uh, its actually not that big a deal.Ross: Its a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.Monica: Youre welcome

11、.Phoebe: Woof, woof. Scene: A Department Store, Joey is selling mens cologne.Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.Annabelle: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?Joey: W

12、ho?Annabelle: Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man.(The Hombre man enters.)Hombre Man: (to a customer) Hombre? (The guy says yes, and gets his sample.)Joey: Whats he doin in my section?Annabelle: I guess he doesnt know.Joey: Well, hes gonna. Ill see you a little later

13、, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin?Hombre Man: Mornin. Joey: Listen, I know youre new, but its kinda understood that everything from Young Mens to the escalator is my territory.Hombre Man: Your territory, huh?Joey: Yeah. Bijan for men?Guy: No thanks.Hombre Man: Hombre?Guy: Yeah. All right. (

14、They guy gets his sample and leaves.)Hombre Man: (To Joey) You were saying?Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica enters.Monica: Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.Phoebe: What?Monica: We were shopping, and we had lunch.Phoebe: Oh, all right. What did I have?Monic

15、a: You had a salad.Phoebe: Oh, no wonder I dont feel full.Rachel: (entering) Hey, guys, whats up.Phoebe: I went shopping with Monica all day, and I had a salad.Rachel: Good, Pheebs. Whatd you buy?Phoebe: Um, we went shopping for um, for, fur.Rachel: You went shopping for fur?Phoebe: Yes, and then I

16、realized Im against that, and uh, so then we bought some, (sees Monica pointing at her chest) uh, boobs.Rachel: You bought boobs?Phoebe: (Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras. Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.Joey: (to a guy) Bijan

17、for men? (to a guy) Bijan for men? (To a woman) Bijan for. (Sees its a woman and stops.) (To Annabelle who walks up.) Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee.Annabelle: Oh, actually I sorta have plans.Hombre Man: (entering) Ready,

18、 Annabelle?Annabelle: You bet. (to Joey) Maybe some other time?Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, its not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?! Scene: Monica and Rachels, Caro

19、l is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.Carol: Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he wont sleep.Ross: Carol, weve been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. Its like were father and son.Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is g

20、reat with him. (Ross looks at her.) Dont look so surprised. Im a lovely person.Rachel: Oh, this is so cute.Susan: Oh, I got that for him.Ross: My mommies love me. Thats clever.Monica: Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju(Sees Rachel is watching)Hi, Jew! (Walks into the kitchen.) (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens.) Uh huh? (

21、Listens) Ok. (Listens) Um, sure, thatd be great. See ya then. Bye. (Hangs up.)Rachel: Did you just say Hi, Jew?Monica: Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith.Scene: Monica and Rachels, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is prep

22、aring Bens milk.Phoebe: Ben, dinner!Ross: Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didnt microwave that, did you, because its breast milk, and youre not supposed to do that.Phoebe: Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. (Squirts some on her wrist and tastes it.)Chandler: What did you just do?Phoebe: I

23、 licked my arm, what?Ross: Its breast milk.Phoebe: So?Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.Joey: What is the big deal? (Tastes the breast milk.)Chandler: What did you just do?Ross: Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk?Phoebe: You wont even taste it?Ross: No!Phoebe: Not eve

24、n if you just pretend that its milk?Ross: Not even if Carols breast had a picture of a missing child on it.Scene: Monica and Rachels, time lapse. Rachel is entering the living room from her bedroom as Monica enters.Monica: Hey, where is everybody?Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Whereve you been?M

25、onica: Just out. Had some lunch, just me, little quality time with me. Thanks for your jacket.Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)Monic

26、a: Okay.Rachel: Mon, if uh you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you uh 53 dollars?Monica: You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card.Rachel: And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket?Monica: That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent.Rachel: Mo

27、nica, what is with you? Whod you have lunch with?Monica: Judy.Rachel: Who?Monica: Julie.Rachel: What?!Monica: Jody!Rachel: You were with Julie?Monica: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brothers girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I kn

28、ew it, we were.shopping.Rachel: Oh. Oh my God. Monica: Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didnt mean anything to me.Rachel: Yeah, right. Sure!Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, Im sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!Rachel: Oh, please, you wanted to

29、 get caught. (Waves the receipt)Monica: That is not true!Rachel: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?Rachel: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdales? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok

30、, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)Commercial BreakScene: Monica and Rachels, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.Monica: (on the phone) Hi, whos this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rac

31、hel working? Its Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, its not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I dont care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.(Theres a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)Carol: How did we do?Phoebe: Oh, I tasted Bens milk, and Ross freaked out.Ross: I did not freak out. Carol: Whyd you freak out?Ross: Because its breast milk. Its gross.Carol: My breast milk is gross?Susan: This should be fun.Ross: No, no, Carol. Theres nothing wrong w