英语小笑话带翻译.docx

1、英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译篇一：英语小笑话(带翻译)1boy:Isthisseatempty?girl:Yesandthisonewillbeifyousitdown.男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。2，boy:canIbuyyouadrink?girl:ActuallyIdratherhavethemoney.男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。3.mylittledogcantreadmrs.brown:oh,mydear,Ihavelostmypreciouslittledog!mrs.smith:butyoumustput

2、anadvertisementinthepapers!mrs.brown:Itsnouse,mylittledogcantread.我的狗不识字布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”4.反正我太太明天会来换的mywifewillexchangeThemAgentlemanwalksintoastoreandaskedforapairofgloves.clothorleatheraskedthesalesperson.makesnodifference repliedcustomer.whatcolorasked

3、theclerk.Anyheresponded.sizegivemewhateveryoupreferthegentlemansaidslightlyexasperated.mywifewillbebacktomorrowtoexchangethem.反正我太太明天会来换的一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。“号码呢？”“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”5.Aphysicsexaminationonceinaphysicsexam

4、ination,nickfinishedthefirstquestionverysoon,whilehisclassmateswerethinkingithard.Thequestionwas:whenitthunderswhydoweseethelightingfirst,thenhearthethunderrolls?nicksanswer:becauseoureyesarebeforeears.一次物理考试在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。6.Jimshi

5、storyexaminationuncle:howdidJimdoinhishistoryexamination?mother:oh,notatallwell,butthere,itwasnthisfault.Theyaskedhimthingsthathappenedbeforethepoorboywasborn.吉姆的历史考试舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。7.heisreallysomebody-myunclehas1000menunderhim.-heisreallysomebody.whatdo

6、eshedo?-Amaintenancemaninacemetery.他真是一个大人物-我叔叔下面有1000个人。-他真是一个大人物。干什么的？-墓地守墓人。8IhavehisearinmypocketIvancamehomewithabloodynoseandhismotherasked,whathappened?Akidbitme,repliedIvan.wouldyourecognizehimifyousawhimagain?askedhismother.Idknowhimanywhere,saidIvan.Ihavehisearinmypocket.他的耳朵在我衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到

7、家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”9Three-year-oldboytookathree-year-oldgirlshandandsaid:Iloveyou.Thelittlegirlsaid:canyougetmeforthefuture?Thelittleboysaid:ofcoursecan,werenotoneortwoyearsold!一个三岁小男孩拉着一个三岁小女孩的手说：“我爱你。”小女孩说：“你能为我的未来负责吗？”小男孩说：“当然能，我们都不是一

8、两岁的人了！10.bedtimeprayersJuliewassayingherbedtimeprayers.pleasegod,shesaid,makenaplesthecapitalofItaly.makenaplesthecapitalofItaly.hermotherinterruptedandsaid,Julie,whydoyouwantgodtomakenaplesthecapitalofItaly?AndJuliereplied,becausethat/swhatIputinmygeographyexam!睡前祷告词朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“祷告上帝，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的

9、首都吧。让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”妈妈打断她说：“朱莉叶，你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？”朱莉叶回答说：“因为我在地理考卷上是这么写的。”篇二：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译短篇英语笑话10则带翻译goldfish金鱼stan:Iwon92goldfish.Fred:whereareyougoingtokeepthem?stan:Inthebathroom。Fred:butwhatwillyoudowhenyouwanttotakeabath?stan:blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!=斯丹：我赢了92条金鱼。弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么

10、办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！TheRevenge欺骗的代价oldFarmerJohnsonwasdying.Thefamilywasstandingaroundhisbed.withalowvoicehesaidtohiswife:whenImdeadIwantyoutomarryfarmerJones.wife:no,Icantmarryanyoneafteryou.Johnson:butIwantyouto.wife:butwhy?Johnson:Jonesoncecheatedmeinahorsedeal!=老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给

11、农夫琼斯。”妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。”约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。”妻子：“为什么？”约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”IthinkthatImachicken我想我是一只鸡psychiatrist:whatsyourproblem?patient:IthinkImachicken.psychiatrist:howlonghasthisbeengoingon?patient:eversinceIwasanegg!=精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？病人：我认为我是一只鸡。精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。howdoIgetthegu

12、mout我怎么把口香糖取出来Distributingchewinggumtothepassengers,thestewardessexplaineditwastokeeptheirearsfrompopping.whentheplanelanded,oneofthepassengersrusheduptoherandsaid,Immeetingmywiferightaway.howdoIgetthegumoutfrommyears?=当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从

13、耳朵里面取出来呢？”whereAmI我在哪儿Anenglishmanlosthiswaywhilehewasdrivinginthecountryside.hesawafarmerworkinginthefieldnearby,sohewentnearerinhiscarandaskedthefarmer,excuseme,canyoutellmewhereIam?Yes,thefarmerlookedathimstrangelyandsaid,youareinyourcar,sir.=一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告

14、诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？”“可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”whydoyouneverphoneme?你为什么不给我打电话？mrsharrislivesinasmallvillage.herhusbandisdead,butshehasoneson.heistwenty-oneandhisnameisgeoff.heworkedintheshopinthevillageandlivedwithhismother,butthenhegotworkinatownandwentantlivedthere.Itsnamewasgreensea.Itwasquitea

15、longwayfromhismothersvillage,andshewasnothappyaboutthis,butgeoffsaid,Thereisntanygoodworkformeinthecountry,mother,andIcangetalotofmoneyingreenseaandsendyousomeeveryweek.mrsharriswasveryangrylastsunday.shegotinatrainandwenttohersonshouseingreensea.Thenshesaidtohim,geoff,whydoyouneverphoneme?geofflaug

16、hed.but,mother,hesaid,youhaventgotaphone.no,sheanswered,Ihavent,butYouVegotone!=我会告诉你这篇没有中文翻译吗。ThesameActionYieldsthesameResult相同的投资相同的结果Acoupleofhunterscharteredasmallplanetoflythemtoaforest,andmadeanappointmentwiththepilottocomebackandfetchtheminabouttwoweeks.Attheendofthetwoweeks,theyhadshotaloto

17、fanimalsthattheywantedtoloadontotheplane.butthepilotsaid,Thisplanewontbeabletotakemorethanonewildbuffalo.Youllhavetoleavetheothersbehind.Thenthehuntersprotested,saying,butlastyear,anotherpilotwiththesameairplaneletustaketwobuffalosandsomeotheranimalsintheplaneaswell.sothenewpilotthoughtaboutit.hewas

18、alittlebitskeptical,butfinallyhesaid,oK,sinceyoudiditlastyear,Iguessthisyearwecandoitagain.Thenheloadedthetwobuffalosandafewotheranimalsin,andtheplanetookoff.Fiveminuteslater,itcrashedinaneighboringarea.Thethreemenclimbedoutandlookedaround,andonehuntersaidtotheother,wheredoyouthinkwearenow?Thesecondonesurveyedtheareaandsaid,Ithinkwereaboutonemiletotheleftoftheplacewecrashedlastyear.