5sentenceconciseness.docx

1、5sentenceconciseness5 sentence concisenessUnit 6 Sentence Conciseness and Clarity Conciseness ? using words economically and eliminating wordiness ? is fundamental to good writing. Look at the following sentences: In the month of May people of different professions from all circles in this city will

2、 hold meetings to elect representatives, and these representatives will go to Beijing, the capital, in October to attend a national congress of model workers from the whole country. In the month of May can be shortened to In May without any loss of meaning; of different professions and from all circ

3、les mean the same thing, so only one of them is needed; hold meetings can be omitted because it is not important; the important thing is that they will elect representatives; who can be used in place of these representatives; the can be omitted; national and from the whole country are synonymous, ca

4、pital so the phrase can be deleted: In May people of different professions in this city will elect representatives, who will attend a national congress of model workers in Beijing in October. The number of words is reduced by half, but the meaning of the new sentence is the same as that of the origi

5、nal one. We write sentences to express ideas. The use of words in a sentence, therefore, is decided by the idea it expresses. Needless words do not help express ideas; on the contrary, they obscure the meaning and confuse the reader. So one of the rules of sentence-making is to use only the necessar

6、y words, or as few words as possible so long as the meaning is fully expressed. But often we tend to put a superfluous word here and there in a sentence. This habit may come from the way we talk. It is common in speaking to repeat a word, use words of similar meaning together, and change words we ha

7、ve said and even the structure of a sentence in the middle of it. But we should not do so in writing. This is possible because when we write we have time to check what we have written and delete all the words that are not needed for the expression of ideas, or to make our sentences concise. In order

8、 to be concise in your writing, please observe the following guidelines: 1. Use a pronoun instead of repeating a noun. Sample 1 Wordy More Concise The factory bought 2 imported The factory bought 2 imported machines. machines. They broke down the next day. The two machines broke down the next day. 2

9、. Use a word instead of a phrase with the same meaning, and use a phrase instead of a clause with the same meaning. Wordy More Concise Sample 2 the man with ambition the ambitious man Sample 3 the class showing the best-performing class the best performance Sample 4 The article, which has been publi

10、shed The recently published article recently is instructive. is instructive. Sample 5 the idea that is most interesting the most interesting idea *Now I d like you to know some common circumlocutions that can be simplified into one word: the reason for, for the reason that,owing/due to the fact that

11、, in light of the fact that, considering the fact that, on the grounds that, this is why =because, since, why on the occasion of, in a situation in which, under circumstances in which =whenas regards, in reference to, with regard to, concerning the matter of, where. is concerned =about it is crucial

12、 that, it is necessary that, there is a need/necessity for, it is important that =must, should is able to, has the capacity for, has the ability to =can it is possible that, there is a chance that, it could happen that, the possibility exists for =may, might, could Wordy More Concise Sample 6 It is

13、possible that nothing will come of Nothing may come of these these experiments. experiments. Sample 7 She has the ability to influence the She can influence the election. election. Sample 8 It is necessary that we look into this We must look into this hot issue.hot issue. 3. If not for the sake of s

14、pecial emphasis, do not repeat words or phrases in a sentence or in one that follows. Sample 9 Wordy More Concise Tom has a sister. Tom has a sister. Toms sister is a nurse. She is a nurse Do not use different words or phrases with similar meanings in the same sentence. Wordy More Concise Sample 10

15、His wife considered the refrigerator an His wife considered the unneeded luxury. refrigerator a luxury. *Redundant Pairs Many pairs of words have similar implications. Finish implies complete, is redundant in most cases. Here are some so the phrase completely finishothers (words in brackets can be o

16、mitted): (past) memories, (various) differences, (each) individual, (basic) fundamentals, (true) facts, (important) essentials, (end) result, (final) outcome, (free) gift, (past) history, (unexpected) surprise. *Redundant Categories Specific words imply their general categories, so we usually dont h

17、ave to state both. We know that a period is a segment of time, and that pink is a color. In each of the following phrases, the general category term can be dropped, leaving just the specific descriptive word: large (in size), (of a) bright (color), heavy (in weight), round (in shape), (at an) early

18、(time), in (the field of) economics, honest (in character), (in a) confused (state), unusual (in nature), extreme (in degree), (of a) strange (type). Another three helpful methods: 1. Do not overuse the form or at the beginning it + be-verbthere + be-verbof sentences. Such expressions have some rhet

19、orical effect for emphasis in some cases, but unnecessary use of such structures results in wordy writing. Most often you can write a more concise sentence by getting rid of such openings. You can make the noun the subject of the sentence and remove the relative pronoun. Wordy More Concise Sample 11

20、 There are four questions that should Four questions should be be answered: answered: Sample 12 There was a big explosion, which A big explosion shattered the shattered the windows, and people ran windows, and people ran out of out of their houses. their houses. 2. Use verbs in their active rather t

21、han passive voice. Wordy More Concise Sample 13 My English was taught by Mrs. Green. Mrs. Green tau ght me English. Sample 14 Your accounts were checked by the The Director checked your Director. accounts. 3. Do not overuse nominalizations (the noun forms of verbs). Wordy More Concise Sample 15 The

22、function of the movie is the The movie entertains people. entertainment for people. Sample 16 The current focus of the medical The medical profession currently profession is disease prevention. focuses on disease prevention. Task: Revise the following sentences to make them more concise (1) The umbr

23、ella is pink in color. (2) In the early part of the month of July, the students will have their summer holiday. (3) In my opinion, I think your plan is not practical. (4) During that period of time, many girls preferred skirts that are red in color and made of cotton. (5) This kind of organisms were

24、 round in shape and peculiar in nature. (6) Imagine a mental picture of someone engaged in the intellectual activity of trying to learn what the rules are for how to play the game of chess. (7) Some of the universities are jointly run by a company in collaboration with the local government. (8) Smok

25、ing is considered a handsome act by some students. (9) The theory isnt proved by this experiment. (10) In this essay is an example of the use of the refutation in argumentation. Make the following sentences more concise and clear. 1. His father is not like her father. Her father reads more books. 2.

26、 Many uneducated citizens who have never attended school begin to take part time training courses. 3. Beijing Foreign Studies University, which was founded 60 years ago, is well known in China. 4. At this point in time, we should pay much attention to quality education. 5. The grass was like a carpe

27、t. It covered the whole field. The color of the grass was fresh green. 6. Anna spoke in a low and hard-to-hear voice. 7. This was a history museum planned with a great deal care. 8. These were issues that in essence were related to economy. 9. The novels written by Hemingway (海明威) are different from

28、 the novels composed by Faulkner(福克纳). 10. In the early part of December there was a heavy snow in this area, and it snowed for three days without letup. 11. Early in the morning there was a fog, which covered all things in the city and people who were driving were careful and they had to drive very

29、 slowly. 12. He has tasted the wines produced in different places and he says the red wine made in Beijing is the best. 13. Each time there was a knock at the door he was nervous, for he feared that someone might come to bring him more bad news. 14. China has a population of 1.2 billion. She must do

30、 much to limit the growth of population. 15. Some people like to say thats neat when they mean to say thats good. It is a slang expression. 16. Students who are in their fourth year at the university go to visit the library regularly to look for material and reference books useful for the writing of

31、 their graduation papers. 17. These children are busy playing with toys. They have little time for studies. 18. When you read the beginning of the book, you cannot understand the meaning of the title. You will understand it when you come to the end of the book. 19. Here are twenty-five students who

32、have already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. It is they and their parents who stand to gain the most by the government grant. 20. In response to the problems identified in the self-study, several activities have evolved at this college to meet the ever-expanding needs of our students, but the traditional goals of the college, which are to educate the whole person in the basic skills