警察与赞美诗.docx

1、警察与赞美诗On his bench in Madison Square Soapy moved uneasily. When wild geese honk high of nights, and when women without sealskin coats grow kind to their husbands, and when Soapy moves uneasily on his bench in the park, you may know that winter is near at hand.A dead leaf fell in Soapys lap. That was

2、 Jack Frosts card. Jack is kind to the regular denizens of Madison Square, and gives fair warning of his annual call. At the corners of four streets he hands his pasteboard to the North Wind, footman of the mansion of All Outdoors, so that the inhabitants thereof may make ready.Soapys mind became co

3、gnisant of the fact that the time had come for him to resolve himself into a singular Committee of Ways and Means to provide against the coming rigour. And therefore he moved uneasily on his bench.The hibernatorial ambitions of Soapy were not of the highest. In them there were no considerations of M

4、editerranean cruises, of soporific Southern skies drifting in the Vesuvian Bay. Three months on the Island was what his soul craved. Three months of assured board and bed and congenial company, safe from Boreas and bluecoats, seemed to Soapy the essence of things desirable.For years the hospitable B

5、lackwells had been his winter quarters. Just as his more fortunate fellow New Yorkers had bought their tickets to Palm Beach and the Riviera each winter, so Soapy had made his humble arrangements for his annual hegira to the Island. And now the time was come. On the previous night three Sabbath news

6、papers, distributed beneath his coat, about his ankles and over his lap, had failed to repulse the cold as he slept on his bench near the spurting fountain in the ancient square. So the Island loomed big and timely in Soapys mind. He scorned the provisions made in the name of charity for the citys d

7、ependents. In Soapys opinion the Law was more benign than Philanthropy. There was an endless round of institutions, municipal and eleemosynary, on which he might set out and receive lodging and food accordant with the simple life. But to one of Soapys proud spirit the gifts of charity are encumbered

8、. If not in coin you must pay in humiliation of spirit for every benefit received at the hands of philanthropy. As Caesar had his Brutus, every bed of charity must have its toll of a bath, every loaf of bread its compensation of a private and personal inquisition. Wherefore it is better to be a gues

9、t of the law, which though conducted by rules, does not meddle unduly with a gentlemans private affairs.Soapy, having decided to go to the Island, at once set about accomplishing his desire. There were many easy ways of doing this. The pleasantest was to dine luxuriously at some expensive restaurant

10、; and then, after declaring insolvency, be handed over quietly and without uproar to a policeman. An accommodating magistrate would do the rest.Soapy left his bench and strolled out of the square and across the level sea of asphalt, where Broadway and Fifth Avenue flow together. Up Broadway he turne

11、d, and halted at a glittering cafe, where are gathered together nightly the choicest products of the grape, the silkworm and the protoplasm.Soapy had confidence in himself from the lowest button of his vest upward. He was shaven, and his coat was decent and his neat black, ready-tied four-in-hand ha

12、d been presented to him by a lady missionary on Thanksgiving Day. If he could reach a table in the restaurant unsuspected success would be his. The portion of him that would show above the table would raise no doubt in the waiters mind. A roasted mallard duck, thought Soapy, would be about the thing

13、-with a bottle of Chablis, and then Camembert, a demi-tasse and a cigar. One dollar for the cigar would be enough. The total would not be so high as to call forth any supreme manifestation of revenge from the cafe management; and yet the meat would leave him filled and happy for the journey to his w

14、inter refuge.But as Soapy set foot inside the restaurant door the head waiters eye fell upon his frayed trousers and decadent shoes. Strong and ready hands turned him about and conveyed him in silence and haste to the sidewalk and averted the ignoble fate of the menaced mallard.Soapy turned off Broa

15、dway. It seemed that his route to the coveted island was not to be an epicurean one. Some other way of entering limbo must be thought of.At a corner of Sixth Avenue electric lights and cunningly displayed wares behind plate-glass made a shop window conspicuous. Soapy took a cobblestone and dashed it

16、 through the glass. People came running around the corner, a policeman in the lead. Soapy stood still, with his hands in his pockets, and smiled at the sight of brass buttons.Wheres the man that done that? inquired the officer excitedly.Dont you figure out that I might have had something to do with

17、it? said Soapy, not without sarcasm, but friendly, as one greets good fortune.The policemans mind refused to accept Soapy even as a clue. Men who smash windows do not remain to parley with the laws minions. They take to their heels. The policeman saw a man half way down the block running to catch a

18、car. With drawn club he joined in the pursuit. Soapy, with disgust in his heart, loafed along, twice unsuccessful.On the opposite side of the street was a restaurant of no great pretensions. It catered to large appetites and modest purses. Its crockery and atmosphere were thick; its soup and napery

19、thin. Into this place Soapy took his accusive shoes and telltale trousers without challenge. At a table he sat and consumed beefsteak, flapjacks, doughnuts and pie. And then to the waiter be betrayed the fact that the minutest coin and himself were strangers.Now, get busy and call a cop, said Soapy.

20、 And dont keep a gentleman waiting.No cop for youse, said the waiter, with a voice like butter cakes and an eye like the cherry in a Manhattan cocktail. Hey, Con!Neatly upon his left ear on the callous pavement two waiters pitched Soapy. He arose, joint by joint, as a carpenters rule opens, and beat

21、 the dust from his clothes. Arrest seemed but a rosy dream. The Island seemed very far away. A policeman who stood before a drug store two doors away laughed and walked down the street.Five blocks Soapy travelled before his courage permitted him to woo capture again. This time the opportunity presen

22、ted what he fatuously termed to himself a cinch. A young woman of a modest and pleasing guise was standing before a show window gazing with sprightly interest at its display of shaving mugs and inkstands, and two yards from the window a large policeman of severe demeanour leaned against a water plug

23、.It was Soapys design to assume the role of the despicable and execrated masher. The refined and elegant appearance of his victim and the contiguity of the conscientious cop encouraged him to believe that he would soon feel the pleasant official clutch upon his arm that would insure his winter quart

24、ers on the right little, tight little isle.Soapy straightened the lady missionarys readymade tie, dragged his shrinking cuffs into the open, set his hat at a killing cant and sidled toward the young woman. He made eyes at her, was taken with sudden coughs and hems, smiled, smirked and went brazenly

25、through the impudent and contemptible litany of the masher. With half an eye Soapy saw that the policeman was watching him fixedly. The young woman moved away a few steps, and again bestowed her absorbed attention upon the shaving mugs. Soapy followed, boldly stepping to her side, raised his hat and

26、 said:Ah there, Bedelia! Dont you want to come and play in my yard?The policeman was still looking. The persecuted young woman had but to beckon a finger and Soapy would be practically en route for his insular haven. Already he imagined he could feel the cozy warmth of the station-house. The young w

27、oman faced him and, stretching out a hand, caught Soapys coat sleeve.Sure, Mike, she said joyfully, if youll blow me to a pail of suds. Id have spoke to you sooner, but the cop was watching.With the young woman playing the clinging ivy to his oak Soapy walked past the policeman overcome with gloom.

28、He seemed doomed to liberty.At the next corner he shook off his companion and ran. He halted in the district where by night are found the lightest streets, hearts, vows and librettos.Women in furs and men in greatcoats moved gaily in the wintry air. A sudden fear seized Soapy that some dreadful ench

29、antment had rendered him immune to arrest. The thought brought a little of panic upon it, and when he came upon another policeman lounging grandly in front of a transplendent theatre he caught at the immediate straw of disorderly conduct.On the sidewalk Soapy began to yell drunken gibberish at the t

30、op of his harsh voice. He danced, howled, raved and otherwise disturbed the welkin.The policeman twirled his club, turned his back to Soapy and remarked to a citizen.Tis one of them Yale lads celebratin the goose egg they give to the Hartford College. Noisy; but no harm. Weve instructions to lave th

31、em be.Disconsolate, Soapy ceased his unavailing racket. Would never a policeman lay hands on him? In his fancy the Island seemed an unattainable Arcadia. He buttoned his thin coat against the chilling wind.In a cigar store he saw a well-dressed man lighting a cigar at a swinging light. His silk umbr

32、ella he had set by the door on entering. Soapy stepped inside, secured the umbrella and sauntered off with it slowly. The man at the cigar light followed hastily.My umbrella, he said, sternly.Oh, is it? sneered Soapy, adding insult to petit larceny. Well, why dont you call a policeman? I took it. Your umbrella! Why dont you call a cop? There stands one on the corner.The umbrella owner slowed his steps. Soapy did likewise, with a presentiment that luck would again run against him. The policeman looked at the two curiously.Of course, said the umbrella man-