311 The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Which Sister.docx

1、311 The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Which Sister311 The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Which SisterScene: Monica and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it.

2、Show to everybody. Got it?Monica: Um-mm.Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.(Monica is sarcastically amazed.) Ross: Real magic does exist.Rach

3、el: Wow.Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?Joey: I cant tell you that, no.(We hear some knocking coming from the ceiling.) Ross: Ah, somebodys at the door on the ceiling.Rachel: Noo, thats our unbelievably loud upstairs neighbor.Monica: He took up the carpet, and now you can hear ev

4、erything.Phoebe: Why dont you go up there and ask him to step lightly, please?Monica: I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.Phoebe: Ooh, that is silly. (gets up) Ill go up there, Ill tell him to keep it down.Monica: All ri

5、ght, be my guest.Rachel: Good luck.(Phoebe exits) Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card an

6、d quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion) All: Oh, I got it.(We hear Phoebe knock at the door upstairs, and the guy answer it.) Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I w

7、as with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired. (I tired but the rest is unintelligible) .Guy: (muffled) Whoa, you are very beautiful.Phoebe: (muffled) Oh, thank you.Opening CreditsScene: Monica and Rachels, continued from earlier.Chandler: (entering

8、) Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little nouse at the end?Monica: Honey, whats the matter?Chandler: I just saw Janice. All: Oh.Chandler: Yeah, she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband, she looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kids pretzel at

9、 them.Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that s

10、tory yknow.Ross: Hey Chandler, theres a party tomorrow, youll feel better then.Chandler: Oh, yknow what, Im gonna be okay, you dont have to throw a party for me.Monica: Its Joeys birthday.Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.(We hear Phoebes muffled voice through

11、the ceiling.) Monica: Sush! I cannot believe she is still up there.(We hear the guy telling a joke, and Phoebe laughing.) Chandler: Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Yknow, its supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.Scene: Fortunata Fashions, Rachels new job.Mr. Kaplan: (entering) Hows th

12、at coffee comin, dear?Rachel: (jumping up from reading her magazine) Yeah, right away Mr. Kaplan.Mr. Kaplan: Im not supposed to drink coffee, it makes me gassy.Rachel: I know!Mr. Kaplan: Ill bet your thinking, Whats an intelligent girl who wants to be in fashion, doing making coffee? Eh?Rachel: Op.M

13、r. Kaplan: Eh.Rachel: Oh, you got me.Mr. Kaplan: Well, dont think I havent noticed your potential. Well, Ive got a project for you thats a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound?Rachel: Oh, that sounds great.Mr. Kaplan: Come on over here, sweetheart. (they walk over to a storage closet) Ra

14、chel: Oh thank you so much Mr. Kaplan, thank you so much.Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.Scene: The Moondance Diner, Rachel is talking to Monica about her job.Rachel: Oh God, I ha

15、te my job, I hate it, I hate my job, I hate it.Monica: I know honey, Im sorry.Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.Monica: (gives her a

16、look) Gee, I dont know Rach. Order up! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!Rachel: Oh honey, come on, Im sorry, I didnt. I dont mind paying my dues, yknow, its just how much am I gonna learn about fashion by walking Mira, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom.(A guy at

17、 the end of the table starts laughing.) Rachel: (to him) Hi! Is my misery amusing to you?Guy: Im sorry, I wa, I wa, I was just ah. (starts to laugh again) Rachel: Its not funny, this is actually my job.Guy: Oh believe me, I-I-Ive been there. I had to sort mannequin heads at that Mannequins Plus.Rach

18、el: Oh well then, so Im just going to go back to talking to my friend here. And you can go back to enjoying your little hamburger.Guy: Ah, just one other thing.Rachel: Yes?!Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdales and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?Rachel: (looks at Monica)

19、(to him) Do you want my pickle?Scene: Chandler and Joeys, its Joeys party.Gunther: (to Monica and Phoebe) Hey guys.Monica: Hey Gunther. Hi. (to Phoebe) I mean youre going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?Phoebe: Well, hes very charming.Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start

20、going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.Phoebe: Well, youre just gonna have to try.Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around.(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding

21、 an empty tray of Jello shots.) Joey: Chandler!Chandler: Hello-dillillio!Ross: Oh, somebodys feeling better.Monica: (to Chandler) Stick out your tongue.Chandler: (to Monica) Take off your shirt!(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.) Monica: Oh my!Joey: Oh my God! How many

22、 of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.Chandler: Yeah, Jell-o just like Mom used to make.Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.Ross: Hi!Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a

23、 buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!Ross: Wow!Rachel: I know!Ross: What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason?Rachel: Uh-huh!Ross: And hes, hes

24、 a total stranger?Rachel: Yeah! His name is um, Mark something.Ross: Huh. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex.Rachel: What!?Ross: Well, Im just saying, I mean why else would he just, yknow, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.Rachel: To be nice.Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to s

25、trange women for no reason?Joey: No, only for sex.Ross: Thank you. (to Rachel) So did you ah, did you tell Mark Something about me?Rachel: I didnt have to, because I was wearing my I heart Ross sandwich board and ringing my bell.Ross: Uh-huh.Joeys Sisters: (entering) Joey! Happy Birthday! (all 7 of

26、them look almost identical) Joey: Hey! Hey-hey-hey!Chandler: (to Monica) Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!Phoebe: (to one of his sisters, Cookie) Hey!Cookie: Hey. What are we drinkin over here.Phoe

27、be: Well, I have ah, vodka and cranberry juice.Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.Phoebe: Wow. Okay, I dont know how to talk to you.(Cut to Chandler) Sister 1: (to Chandler) What cha doing?Chandler: Oh, Im taking my ex-girlfriend of my speed dia

28、ler.Joeys Sisters: Oh!Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.(Cut to Ross and Monica) Ross: Hi.Monica: Hi.Ross: Yeah. So um

29、, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today.Monica: Isnt that great?Ross: Oh yeah! So ah, kinda pretty, pretty good. He sounds like a nice, good guy.Monica: Oh, he is. And he is so dreamy. I mean, yknow what, when he left I actually used the phrase, Hummina-hummina-hummina. (walks

30、away) Ross: Thats excellent.Scene: Monica and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?Rachel: Well, I assume Ill have to take showers with him, but yknow, tha

31、ts true of any job.(Chandler enters hungover and groaning) Monica: How ya feelin?Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.Phoebe: Whered you get too? We lost you after you opened up all the presents.Ross: Yeah.Chandler: Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone.All: Woooo hoooo!Chandler: Ow, no woo-hooing, no woo-hooing. Phoebe: Why, what happened?Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part. Monica: What is the worse part?Chandler: I cant remember which sister.