英汉翻译评析答案.docx

1、英汉翻译评析答案Commentaries on the Version of “一个女人是如此衰老的”一个女人是如此衰老的SV： How a Woman Ages/A Womans Aging/A Woman Fades Thus/What causes a Woman to Grow Old/The Way in Which a woman is Aging/How a Woman Gets OldRV: The Way Woman Withers点评：Rhetorical Device: distillation and aesthetic hightlights of language,

2、 either Chinese or English/The successful employment of alliteration(头韵)1二十岁的时候，我穿着一条背心式牛仔裙在校园里走来走去，一说话就脸红。三十岁的我穿着名牌套装，坐在办公桌前，满脸冷酷地对下属说：“这么愚蠢的问题你也敢问？也不先打个草稿。”SV: At the age of twenty, I walked about on the campus, wearing a vestlike jean skirt. My face would turn red whenever I speak. After I have t

3、urned thirty, I am seated in front of a bureau, in a suit of famous brand, reproaching a subordinate coldly “ How dare you ask such a stupid question? Why didnt you make a draft first?”RV: At the age of twenty, wearing a jeans jumper, I moved about on the campus, my face blushing the moment I had th

4、e inclination to make an utterance. At the age of thirty, I, wearing a famous-brand suit and a cold look, reproach my subordinate bluntly, “How can you go so far as to raise such a silly, mindless question?”点评：Zeugma (轭式修饰法)：a figure of speech in which a single word, usually a verb or adjective, is

5、syntactically related to two or more words, though having a different sense in relation to each. More examples:The senator picked up his hat and his courage/She possessed two false teeth and a sympathetic heart/ He lost the game and his temper.2二十岁的时候，从图书馆借的是莎士比亚全集、一个青年艺术家的自画像和尤里西斯。三十岁以后，床头摆的是跟庄密笈、E

6、LLE和领导人的个人魅力.SV: At the age of twenty, The Collected Works of Shakespeare, The Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man, and Ulysses were borrowed from the library. After thirty, Strategy of Speculation on Stocks, ELLE and Managers Personal Charm were put on the bedside.RV: At the age of twenty, I borro

7、wed books from the library like Shakespeares Complete Works, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Ulysses. After thirty, on my bedside, lie such books and magazines as The Recipe on Stocks, Elle and Managers Charm.点评：Syntactically（依照句法地）, aesthetic value goes to Eng-Weightness in English, which

8、is not the case with Chinese. For example:Gone are the days when I was young. VS. The days when I was young are gone.Word came that bribery行贿 has sent him to prison. VS. Word that bribery has sent him to prison came.3二十岁的暑假，在家乡的大街上偶遇自己的暗恋对象，听说他考上了研究生，被他的进步所冲击，心如刀绞，想到这辈子终于不能超卓得让他看我一眼，不由怅然泪下。三十岁以后，处处探

9、问那里能够花钱买个MBA.SV: At 20, during a summer holiday I encountered my beloved one on the street of my hometown. I heard he was admitted to be a graduate. I was struck by his advance. I couldnt help shedding tears in my extreme grief. I thought that for this life I could never achieve much to let him see

10、me in a new light. After 30, I inquire everywhere where to purchase an MBA certificate.RV: At the age of twenty, I ran into the young man whom I loved in private in the street of my hometown. Upon hearing that he had been enrolled as a graduate, I was virtually dealt a heavy blow believing reluctant

11、ly so painful a fact that I could never do well enough to win his favor, bitter tears streaming down my cheeks. After thirty, I busy myself here and there, inquiring where I could by an MBA diploma.点评：Aesthetically（审美地） speaking, English appreciates sentence possessing a short main clause, with many

12、 words, phrases and clauses attached to it, something like a cluster of grapes, while Chinese favors sentence structure resembling bamboo, on segment after another.4二十岁的时候，随时随地向人透露我的年龄，答得比问的还快。三十岁以后，最恨他人问年龄，你若是非问不可，你猜啊。SV: At the age of twenty, I was always ready to disclose my age on all occasions

13、and could not wait to speak out the answer until the inquirer finished his words. After I have turned thirty, I hate any inquiry about my age. If you insist, have a guess.RV: At the age of twenty, I was so ready to reveal my age, telling people about my age frequently before they inquired. After thi

14、rty, age became almost a taboo to me. If somebody is so nosy, I respond, “Guess.”点评：English is a language of metaphor, leaving no stone unturned in exploiting the metaphorical meaning, or rather the connotative (转义的) meaning, of very single word, while Chinese language is heavily denotation（本义）-depe

15、ndent.5二十岁的时候，一心想和体育系、美术系的男生约会。三十岁后，我简直以为自己昔时是傻瓜。SV: When in my twenties, I was only willing to date boys from sports or art department. After thirty, I even thought I had been an idiot before.RV: At the age of twenty, I did long to date with the boys from either physical education, or the art depar

16、tment. After thirty, it seems so unbelievable that I once idiotically possessed that thought.点评：Lexically（辞汇地） speaking, part of the aesthetic value goes to flexible word formation in English which dwarfs Chinese6二十岁的时候，有书店必需逛，有书必买。三十岁以后，对书店视而不见，直接去了隔壁的美容院。SV: At the age of twenty, I frequented the

17、bookstores and bought whatever I found. After thirty, I ignored them and went ahead into the nearby beauty parlor（店营业室）.RV: At the age of twenty, the bookstore was a must for me, and I was a big book buyer. While after thirty, paying no attention to the bookstore, I breeze into the beauty parlor nex

18、t door.点评：It is universally acknowledged that obscurity and abstract, occasionally creates more aesthetic value, which can accomplish more accuracy and gracefulness.7二十岁的时候，老妈打，不等说完三句就恨不能挂了。三十岁以后，一听到妈的声音就禁不住哭作声来：“妈呀，您老的所有担忧此刻都应验了”SV: At the age of twenty, when mother phones me, I am anxious to hang

19、up immediately. After the age of thirty, on hearing mothers voice on the phone, I cannot help crying out, “Mom, all that you worry about have come true.”RV: At the age of twenty, while talking with my mother over the phone, I wanted to hang up before my mother had finished a few words. After thirty,

20、 the voice of Mom invariably triggers my crying, “Mom, your worries about my marriage have all come true.”点评：Chinese expressions involve more obscurity, a sign of lavishly artistically-conceived （持有艺术的）language, while English pins（紧扣） more aesthetic value on clarity and legibility（易识别, 易明白得）, a mani

21、festation of a language largely governed by logic.傅雷：东方人和西方人的思想方式有大体不合，我人重综合、重归纳重暗示、重含蓄；西方人那么重分析，细微曲折、挖掘惟恐不尽，描述惟恐不周。王力：西洋语法是硬的，没有弹性；中国语法是软的，富有弹性。中国语法以达意为主。杨振宁：中国的文化是模糊、朦胧及整体的方向走，而西方的文化是向准确而具体的方向走。汉语，写诗却是一个优势。8二十岁的时候，我真想往前冲，谁也别挡我。三十岁以后，我真想赖着不走啊，又快过年了。SV: At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without

22、 any apprehension. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to the moment: another New Year is looming.RV: At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any concern for the passing days and years. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to every moment: Unfortunately, another New Year looms on the horizon.点

23、评：The Chinese text seems to be vague and implicit; the literal version done by my student goes like this: At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any apprehension. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to the moment: another New Year is looming. Could you understand this literal version?But I w

24、ould make a few changes: “At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any concern for the passing days and years. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to every moment: Unfortunately, another New Year looms on the horizon.”9二十岁的时候，我想出名要趁早，一个人到了三十岁还没没无闻那还活个什么劲呀？三十岁以后，名是不指望了，只希望在四十岁的时候能象我老板一样有钱。SV: A

25、t the age of twenty, I said, to gain fame, the earlier the better. How dull it should be one is still infamous in her thirties! In my thirties, reputation is no longer my desire. I only have a wish to be as rich as my boss in my forties.RV: At the age of twenty, its better to be famous before its to

26、o late, I believed. What would be the spice of life for a person deserted (舍弃) by fame when approaching thirty? After thirty, fame seems still beyond reach, yet being as rich as my boss at forty becomes my new dream.点评：One of the important criteria in aesthetic judgement for English is hypotaxis(形合)

27、, while Chinese is a language of parataxis (意合); the logic syntactical relationship is self-evident. Make a comparison:燕子去了，有再来的时候；杨柳枯了，有再青的时候；桃花谢了，有再开的时候。可是，伶俐的，你告知我，咱们的日子什么缘故一去不复返呢？ Swallows may have gone, but there is a time of return; willow trees may have died back, but there is a time of regre

28、ening; peach blossoms may have fallen, but they will bloom again. Now, you the wise, tell me, why should our days leave us, never to return?10二十岁的时候，拥堵在人头攒动的公共大巴上，吃着甜筒，挺高兴。三十岁以后，看见破旧龌龊的的士都心烦，拜托！油价一跌，就去买车吧，一路开往小康。10SV: At the age of twenty, I felt happy squeezed in a crammed bus eating an ice-cream.

29、After I have turned thirty, I hate to look at the dirty, worn-out taxis. Thank goddess! Once the oil price declines, Ill buy a car to myself and drive all the way to a comfortable life.RV: At the age of twenty, I felt so contented sandwiched in a jammed bus, eating ice cream. After thirty, even the

30、sight of a shabby and sordid (龌龊的) taxi may sicken me. Ok! When the oil price goes down, I will buy a car, drive along the road of Well-To-Do(小康的).点评：Impersonal Subject Sentence is the pride of English language, inviting much aesthetic value, while Chinese, syntactically neglecting the employment of

31、 subject, employ few impersonal subjects.11二十岁的时候，打赌说我这辈子不可能土到死守在一个地址，生活在别处嘛。三十岁以后，我为了在这座城市买个中意又廉价的屋子跑断了双腿。SV: At the age of twenty, I bet there was fat chance that I should rustically live my lifetime in one place, as the saying goes, a beautiful life occurs elsewhere. In my thirties, I spare no st

32、rength running for a decent and inexpensive house in the local city.RV: At the age of twenty, I bet that I would never reside in one city the rest of my life. Id choose to live in different places. After thirty, I ran my feet off searching for an apartment, satisfying and cheap.点评：A way to achieve end-weight: after-position adjectivesFor example: He comes into the light of every-day like a great leviathan(圣经中象征邪恶的)海中怪兽, 巨物) of the deep, breaking the smooth surface of accepted things, gay, serious, and sportive.12二十岁的时候，看小说专挑和爱情有关的情节看。