英汉翻译评析答案.docx
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英汉翻译评析答案
CommentariesontheVersionof“一个女人是如此衰老的”
一个女人是如此衰老的
SV：
HowaWomanAges/AWoman’sAging/AWomanFadesThus/WhatcausesaWomantoGrowOld/TheWayinWhichawomanisAging/HowaWomanGetsOld
RV:
TheWayWomanWithers
点评：
RhetoricalDevice:
distillationandaesthetichightlightsoflanguage,eitherChineseorEnglish/Thesuccessfulemploymentofalliteration（头韵）
1．二十岁的时候，我穿着一条背心式牛仔裙在校园里走来走去，一说话就脸红。
三十岁的我穿着名牌套装，坐在办公桌前，满脸冷酷地对下属说：
“这么愚蠢的问题你也敢问？
也不先打个草稿。
”
SV:
Attheageoftwenty,Iwalkedaboutonthecampus,wearingavestlikejeanskirt.MyfacewouldturnredwheneverIspeak.AfterIhaveturnedthirty,Iamseatedinfrontofabureau,inasuitoffamousbrand,reproachingasubordinatecoldly“Howdareyouasksuchastupidquestion?
Whydidn’tyoumakeadraftfirst?
”
RV:
Attheageoftwenty,wearingajeansjumper,Imovedaboutonthecampus,myfaceblushingthemomentIhadtheinclinationtomakeanutterance.Attheageofthirty,I,wearingafamous-brandsuitandacoldlook,reproachmysubordinatebluntly,“Howcanyougosofarastoraisesuchasilly,mindlessquestion?
”
点评：
Zeugma（轭式修饰法）：
afigureofspeechinwhichasingleword,usuallyaverboradjective,issyntacticallyrelatedtotwoormorewords,thoughhavingadifferentsenseinrelationtoeach.Moreexamples:
Thesenatorpickeduphishatandhiscourage/Shepossessedtwofalseteethandasympatheticheart/Helostthegameandhistemper.
2．二十岁的时候，从图书馆借的是《莎士比亚全集》、《一个青年艺术家的自画像》和《尤里西斯》。
三十岁以后，床头摆的是《跟庄密笈》、《ELLE》和《领导人的个人魅力》.
SV:
Attheageoftwenty,TheCollectedWorksofShakespeare,ThePortraitofanArtistasaYoungMan,andUlysseswereborrowedfromthelibrary.Afterthirty,StrategyofSpeculationonStocks,ELLEandManager’sPersonalCharmwereputonthebedside.
RV:
Attheageoftwenty,IborrowedbooksfromthelibrarylikeShakespeare’sCompleteWorks,APortraitoftheArtistasaYoungMan,Ulysses.Afterthirty,onmybedside,liesuchbooksandmagazinesasTheRecipeonStocks,ElleandManager’sCharm.
点评：
Syntactically（依照句法地）,aestheticvaluegoestoEng-WeightnessinEnglish,whichisnotthecasewithChinese.Forexample:
GonearethedayswhenIwasyoung.VS.ThedayswhenIwasyoungaregone.
Wordcamethatbribery行贿hassenthimtoprison.VS.Wordthatbriberyhassenthimtoprisoncame.
3．二十岁的暑假，在家乡的大街上偶遇自己的暗恋对象，听说他考上了研究生，被他的进步所冲击，心如刀绞，想到这辈子终于不能超卓得让他看我一眼，不由怅然泪下。
三十岁以后，处处探问那里能够花钱买个MBA.
SV:
At20,duringasummerholidayIencounteredmybelovedoneonthestreetofmyhometown.Iheardhewasadmittedtobeagraduate.Iwasstruckbyhisadvance.Icouldn’thelpsheddingtearsinmyextremegrief.IthoughtthatforthislifeIcouldneverachievemuchtolethimseemeinanewlight.After30,IinquireeverywherewheretopurchaseanMBAcertificate.
RV:
Attheageoftwenty,IranintotheyoungmanwhomIlovedinprivateinthestreetofmyhometown.Uponhearingthathehadbeenenrolledasagraduate,IwasvirtuallydealtaheavyblowbelievingreluctantlysopainfulafactthatIcouldneverdowellenoughtowinhisfavor,bittertearsstreamingdownmycheeks.Afterthirty,Ibusymyselfhereandthere,inquiringwhereIcouldbyanMBAdiploma.
点评：
Aesthetically（审美地）speaking,Englishappreciatessentencepossessingashortmainclause,withmanywords,phrasesandclausesattachedtoit,somethinglikeaclusterofgrapes,whileChinesefavorssentencestructureresemblingbamboo,onsegmentafteranother.
4．二十岁的时候，随时随地向人透露我的年龄，答得比问的还快。
三十岁以后，最恨他人问年龄，你若是非问不可，你猜啊。
SV:
Attheageoftwenty,Iwasalwaysreadytodisclosemyageonalloccasionsandcouldnotwaittospeakouttheansweruntiltheinquirerfinishedhiswords.AfterIhaveturnedthirty,Ihateanyinquiryaboutmyage.Ifyouinsist,haveaguess.
RV:
Attheageoftwenty,Iwassoreadytorevealmyage,tellingpeopleaboutmyagefrequentlybeforetheyinquired.Afterthirty,agebecamealmostatabootome.Ifsomebodyissonosy,Irespond,“Guess.”
点评：
Englishisalanguageofmetaphor,leavingnostoneunturnedinexploitingthemetaphoricalmeaning,orrathertheconnotative（转义的）meaning,ofverysingleword,whileChineselanguageisheavilydenotation（本义）-dependent.
5．二十岁的时候，一心想和体育系、美术系的男生约会。
三十岁后，我简直以为自己昔时是傻瓜。
SV:
Wheninmytwenties,Iwasonlywillingtodateboysfromsportsorartdepartment.Afterthirty,IeventhoughtIhadbeenanidiotbefore.
RV:
Attheageoftwenty,Ididlongtodatewiththeboysfromeitherphysicaleducation,ortheartdepartment.Afterthirty,itseemssounbelievablethatIonceidioticallypossessedthatthought.
点评：
Lexically（辞汇地）speaking,partoftheaestheticvaluegoestoflexiblewordformationinEnglishwhichdwarfsChinese
6．二十岁的时候，有书店必需逛，有书必买。
三十岁以后，对书店视而不见，直接去了隔壁的美容院。
SV:
Attheageoftwenty,IfrequentedthebookstoresandboughtwhateverIfound.Afterthirty,Iignoredthemandwentaheadintothenearbybeautyparlor（店营业室）.
RV:
Attheageoftwenty,thebookstorewasamustforme,andIwasabigbookbuyer.Whileafterthirty,payingnoattentiontothebookstore,Ibreezeintothebeautyparlornextdoor.
点评：
Itisuniversallyacknowledgedthatobscurityandabstract,occasionallycreatesmoreaestheticvalue,whichcanaccomplishmoreaccuracyandgracefulness.
7．二十岁的时候，老妈打，不等说完三句就恨不能挂了。
三十岁以后，一听到妈的声音就禁不住哭作声来：
“妈呀，您老的所有担忧此刻都应验了……”
SV:
Attheageoftwenty,whenmotherphonesme,Iamanxioustohangupimmediately.Aftertheageofthirty,onhearingmother’svoiceonthephone,Icannothelpcryingout,“Mom,allthatyouworryabouthavecometrue.”
RV:
Attheageoftwenty,whiletalkingwithmymotheroverthephone,Iwantedtohangupbeforemymotherhadfinishedafewwords.Afterthirty,thevoiceofMominvariablytriggersmycrying,“Mom,yourworriesaboutmymarriagehaveallcometrue.”
点评：
Chineseexpressionsinvolvemoreobscurity,asignoflavishlyartistically-conceived（持有艺术的）language,whileEnglishpins（紧扣）moreaestheticvalueonclarityandlegibility（易识别,易明白得）,amanifestationofalanguagelargelygovernedbylogic.
傅雷：
东方人和西方人的思想方式有大体不合，我人重综合、重归纳重暗示、重含蓄；西方人那么重分析，细微曲折、挖掘惟恐不尽，描述惟恐不周。
王力：
西洋语法是硬的，没有弹性；中国语法是软的，富有弹性。
中国语法以达意为主。
杨振宁：
中国的文化是模糊、朦胧及整体的方向走，而西方的文化是向准确而具体的方向走。
汉语，写诗却是一个优势。
8．二十岁的时候，我真想往前冲，谁也别挡我。
三十岁以后，我真想赖着不走啊，又快过年了。
SV:
Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyapprehension.Inmythirties,Istrivetohangontothemoment:
anotherNewYearislooming.
RV:
Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyconcernforthepassingdaysandyears.Inmythirties,Istrivetohangontoeverymoment:
Unfortunately,anotherNewYearloomsonthehorizon.
点评：
TheChinesetextseemstobevagueandimplicit;theliteralversiondonebymystudentgoeslikethis:
Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyapprehension.Inmythirties,Istrivetohangontothemoment:
anotherNewYearislooming.Couldyouunderstandthisliteralversion?
ButIwouldmakeafewchanges:
“Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyconcernforthepassingdaysandyears.Inmythirties,Istrivetohangontoeverymoment:
Unfortunately,anotherNewYearloomsonthehorizon.”
9．二十岁的时候，我想出名要趁早，一个人到了三十岁还没没无闻那还活个什么劲呀？
三十岁以后，名是不指望了，只希望在四十岁的时候能象我老板一样有钱。
SV:
Attheageoftwenty,Isaid,togainfame,theearlierthebetter.Howdullitshouldbeoneisstillinfamousinherthirties!
Inmythirties,reputationisnolongermydesire.Ionlyhaveawishtobeasrichasmybossinmyforties.
RV:
Attheageoftwenty,it’sbettertobefamousbeforeit’stoolate,Ibelieved.Whatwouldbethespiceoflifeforapersondeserted（舍弃）byfamewhenapproachingthirty?
Afterthirty,fameseemsstillbeyondreach,yetbeingasrichasmybossatfortybecomesmynewdream.
点评：
OneoftheimportantcriteriainaestheticjudgementforEnglishishypotaxis（形合）,whileChineseisalanguageofparataxis（意合）;thelogicsyntacticalrelationshipisself-evident.Makeacomparison:
燕子去了，有再来的时候；杨柳枯了，有再青的时候；桃花谢了，有再开的时候。
可是，伶俐的，你告知我，咱们的日子什么缘故一去不复返呢？
Swallowsmayhavegone,butthereisatimeofreturn;willowtreesmayhavediedback,butthereisatimeofregreening;peachblossomsmayhavefallen,buttheywillbloomagain.Now,youthewise,tellme,whyshouldourdaysleaveus,nevertoreturn?
10．二十岁的时候，拥堵在人头攒动的公共大巴上，吃着甜筒，挺高兴。
三十岁以后，看见破旧龌龊的的士都心烦，拜托！
油价一跌，就去买车吧，一路开往小康。
10．SV:
Attheageoftwenty,Ifelthappysqueezedinacrammedbuseatinganice-cream.AfterIhaveturnedthirty,Ihatetolookatthedirty,worn-outtaxis.Thankgoddess!
Oncetheoilpricedeclines,I’’llbuyacartomyselfanddriveallthewaytoacomfortablelife.
RV:
Attheageoftwenty,Ifeltsocontentedsandwichedinajammedbus,eatingicecream.Afterthirty,eventhesightofashabbyandsordid（龌龊的）taximaysickenme.Ok!
Whentheoilpricegoesdown,Iwillbuyacar,drivealongtheroadofWell-To-Do（小康的）.
点评：
ImpersonalSubjectSentenceistheprideofEnglishlanguage,invitingmuchaestheticvalue,whileChinese,syntacticallyneglectingtheemploymentofsubject,employfewimpersonalsubjects.
11．二十岁的时候，打赌说我这辈子不可能土到死守在一个地址，生活在别处嘛。
三十岁以后，我为了在这座城市买个中意又廉价的屋子跑断了双腿。
SV:
Attheageoftwenty,IbettherewasfatchancethatIshouldrusticallylivemylifetimeinoneplace,asthesayinggoes,abeautifullifeoccurselsewhere.Inmythirties,Isparenostrengthrunningforadecentandinexpensivehouseinthelocalcity.
RV:
Attheageoftwenty,IbetthatIwouldneverresideinonecitytherestofmylife.I’dchoosetoliveindifferentplaces.Afterthirty,Iranmyfeetoffsearchingforanapartment,satisfyingandcheap.
点评：
Awaytoachieveend-weight:
after-positionadjectives
Forexample:
Hecomesintothelightofevery-daylikeagreatleviathan（《圣经》中象征邪恶的）海中怪兽,巨物）ofthedeep,breakingthesmoothsurfaceofacceptedthings,gay,serious,andsportive.
12．二十岁的时候，看小说专挑和爱情有关的情节看。
升级会员 