704 The One With Rachel.docx

1、704 The One With Rachel704 The One With Rachels AssistantScene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebes, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high

2、 explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)C.H.E.E.S.E: You can say that again Mac.Mac: Well, I couldnt have done it without you buddy. Youre a genius.C.H.E.E.S.E: Oh yeah? Well then how come I cant get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?(They both break

3、into a huge laugh and do that stop-motion thing they had at the end of ChiPs.)Joey: (laughing and turning off the TV) So, what did you guys think?(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)Mon

4、ica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, its your mom. (Hands him the phone.)Chandler: Its your mommy. Its your mommy.Ross: OhhhhRachel: Thats nice.Joey: (on phone) Mom, so what did you think? (He walks away allowing the gang a chance to figure out what theyre gonna say.)Rachel: Well t

5、hat was ummOkay.Ross: It wasnt the best.Chandler: That was one of the worse things ever. And not just on TV.Monica: Wh-what are we gonna tell him?Ross: Well, the lighting was okay.Rachel: Ohh no you dont! You got lighting last time, lighting is mine!Monica: And I have costumes.Ross: Oh great! That m

6、eans Im stuck with, So, we were watching you in there (Points to the TV) and you were sittin right here! Whoa!(Phoebe gets up.)Rachel: What are you gonna do Pheebs?Phoebe: I dont know. I dont know. I cant lie to him again. Oh no Ino! Im just gonna press my breasts up against him.Chandler: And say no

7、thing?Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats right.Joey: (hangs up the phone) Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? (Phoebe smiles, walks up to him, and presses her breasts against him.) It wasnt that good.Opening CreditsScene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are reading on the c

8、ouch.Monica: Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says much about you?Phoebe: What? You mean behind my back?Rachel: (entering, excitedly) Oh! Hi you guys, oh my God! Youll never gonna believe what happened to me today! I am sitting in my office andJoey: (entering from bathrooms excitedly)

9、You guys! You guys! Youre not gonna believe what my agent just told me!Rachel: Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here!Joey: Ooh, sorry. Sorry. You finish, go.Rachel: Okay, so anyway Im sittin in my office and guess who walks in.Joey: Im gonna be on two TV shows!Monica and Phoebe: Oh, thats great!

10、Rachel: Joey!Joey: Oh, you werent finished?Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!Joey: Uh Rach, if youre gonna start another story, at least let me finish mine.Rache

11、l: Its the same story.Joey: (groans in disgust) Wow, its really long.Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.Monica: Still get a discount on wedding dresses?Rachel: Yeah!Monica: I

12、m so happy for you!Joey: Well, these really are the days of our lives.Monica: What?!Joey: Well, since you ask. They want me back on Days of Our Lives!Phoebe: (gasps) Oh God!Rachel: I gotI get a big pay raise!Phoebe: Oh hey!Joey: Ill be playing Drake Ramorays twin brother, Stryker!Monica: Oooh!Rachel

13、: I get to hire my own assistant!Monica and Phoebe: Ahhh!Joey: (jumps up) WellI got a head rush from standing up too fast right there.Scene: Rachels New Office, shes interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.Rachel: (reading the resume) And you were at this job for four years?Hilda: Thats right.

14、Rachel: Okay, well this is all very impressive Hilda, um I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did I do? Was this okay?Hilda: What?Rachel: Ive never interviewed anyone before. Ive actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this i

15、snt the same thing. Hilda: No dear. Its not.Rachel: No. Yeah, and I know that. All right, well thank you so much for coming in, it was nice to meet you.Hilda: Thank you! Good meeting you.Rachel: All right. (Hilda exits) Im a total pro!(Theres a knock on the door and a handsome man enters.)Man: Hello

16、?Rachel: (seeing him) Wow! H-umm! Hi! Yes, uh Im sorry the models are actually down the hall.Man: Actually, Im here about the assistant job.Rachel: Really?! (Taking his resume) Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so whatswhat iswhats your name?Man: Tag Jones.Rachel: Uh-huh,

17、go on.Tag: Thats it. Thats my whole name.Rachel: Thats your whole name, okay of course it is! Okay, well lets-lets just have a look-see here. (Looking at his resume)Tag: I know I havent worked in an office before, and I really dont have a lot of experience, but uhRachel: Oh come on, what are you tal

18、king about? Youve got three years painting houses. Two whole summers at T.G.I. Fridays, come on!Tag: Its lame, I know. But Im a goal-oriented person, very eager to learnRachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources,

19、 everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sitting on the couch when some unknown guy comes in and sits in their easy chair.Chandler: No-no-no-no. (Waves him away as Monica and Phoebe enter whispering to each other.) Hey! (Monica shushes him.)Phoebe: (To

20、 Monica) Anyway, I should go. Okay, bye.Monica: (To Chandler) Hey sweetie.Chandler: Hi sweetie. So, what was with all the whispering?Monica: I cant tell you. Its a secret.Chandler: Secret? Married people arent supposed to have secrets between one another. We have too much love and respect for one an

21、other.Monica: Awww. (Kisses him.) But still no.Chandler: No Im serious, we should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you.Monica: Really? Okay, so why dont you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland?Chandler: Oh no-no, I cant do that.Monica: If you tell me, Il

22、l tell you what Phoebe said.Chandler: Okay.Monica: Okay.Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross sta

23、rts to feel a little iffy.Monica: Oh my God. He threw up?Chandler: No, he visited a little town south of throw up. (Monica laughs hysterically.) So what was Phoebes secret?Monica: Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebes old massage place is getting fired.Chandler: Thats it?! I gave up my Disneyland story fo

24、r that?Monica: Thats right! You lose sucker! (Pause) Please still marry me.Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebes, Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.Rachel: Chandler, you have an assistant right?Chandler: (angrily) Did she call? You-you told her I was sick right? Always tell her I am sick!Rachel:

25、 No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guyChandler: What about him?Rachel: I love him. Hes so pretty I wanna cry! I dont know what to do. Tell me what to do.Phoeb

26、e: Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You dont hire an assistant because theyre cute, you hire them because theyre qualified.Rachel: Uh-huh. No, I hear what youre saying and-and-and that makes a lot of sense but can I just say one more thing? (Takes out his picture.) Look how prett

27、y!Phoebe: Lets see. (Looking at the picture) Oh my God! Oh But no! No! You cant-you cant hire him, because thatits not professional. Umm, this is for me (The picture) yes? Thanks. (Puts it in her pocket.)Rachel: Okay youre right. Ill hire Hilda tomorrow. Dumb old perfect for the job Hilda!Chandler:

28、Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!Scene: The Days of Our Lives producers office, Joey is entering to find Terry there.Terry: Hey-hey-hey Joey!Joey: Hey Terry!Terry: Good to see you again!Joey: Its been a while,

29、 huh? Wow, its funny these halls look smaller than they used to.Terry: Its a different building.Joey: So! Stryker Ramoray huh? When do you want me to start?Terry: Why dont we start right now!Joey: Okay.Terry: Here are the audition scenes. (Holds out the script.)Joey: (looking between the pages and h

30、im) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.Terry: Why would you think that?Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Ramoray, Strykers twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?Terry: Everybody has to audition.Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV seri

31、es, (Pause) with a robot.Terry: Im sorry Joey thatsthats the way it is.Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Ramoray!Scene: Rachels office, shes there as Tag knocks on the door and enters carrying a plant.Rachel: Hi! Tag. What are you doing here?Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there are