OldPossumsBookofPracticalCats.docx

1、OldPossumsBookofPracticalCatsOld Possums Book of Practical CatsBy Thomas Stearns Eliot (1886-1965)Nobel Prize Winner for Literature - 1948The Naming of CatsThe Naming of Cats is a difficult matter, It isnt just one of your holiday games;You may think at first Im as mad as a hatterWhen I tell you, a

2、cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.First of all, theres the name that the family use daily, Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey- All of them sensible everyday names.There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter, Some for the gentlemen

3、, some for the dames:Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter- But all of them sensible everyday names.But I tell you, a cat needs a name thats particular, A name thats peculiar, and more dignified,Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular, Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?Of na

4、mes of this kind, I can give you a quorum, Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum- Names that never belong to more than one cat.But above and beyond theres still one name left over, And that is the name that you never will guess;The name that no human researc

5、h can discover- But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.When you notice a cat in profound meditation, The reason, I tell you, is always the same:His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name: His ineffable effable EffanineffableDeep

6、and inscrutable singular Name.The Old Gumbie CatI have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;Her coat is of the tabby kind, with tiger stripes and leopard spots.All day she sits upon the stair or on the steps or on the mat;She sits and sits and sits and sits-and thats what makes a Gumbie Ca

7、t!But when the days hustle and bustle is done,Then the Gumbie Cats work is but hardly begun.And when all the familys in bed and asleep,She tucks up her skirts to the basement to creep.She is deeply concerned with the ways of the mice-Their behaviours not good and their manners not nice;So when she h

8、as got them lined up on the matting,She teachs them music, crocheting and tatting.I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;Her equal would be hard to find, she likes the warm and sunny spots.All day she sits beside the hearth or on the bed or on my hat:She sits and sits and sits and sit

9、s-and thats what makes a Gumbie Cat!But when the days hustle and bustle is done,Then the Gumbie Cats work is but hardly begun.As she finds that the mice will not ever keep quiet,She is sure it is due to irregular diet;And believing that nothing is done without trying,She sets right to work with her

10、baking and frying.She makes them a mouse-cake of bread and dried peas,And a beautiful fry of lean bacon and cheese.I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots.She sits upon the window-sill, or anything thats smooth and flat:S

11、he sits and sits and sits and sits-and thats what makes a Gumbie Cat!But when the days hustle and bustle is done,Then the Gumbie Cats work is but hardly begun.She thinks that the cockroaches just need employmentTo prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment.So shes formed, from that lot of disorde

12、rly louts,A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts,With a purpose in life and a good deed to do-And shes even created a Beetles Tattoo.So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers-On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears.Growltigers Last StandGROWLTIGER was a Bravo Cat, who li

13、ved upon a barge;In fact he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at large.From Gravesend up to Oxford he pursued his evil aims,Rejoicing in his title of The Terror of the Thames.His manners and appearance did not calculate to please;His coat was torn and seedy, he was baggy at the knees;One ear was

14、 somewhat missing, no need to tell you why,And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye.The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fame,At Hammersmith and Putney people shuddered at his name.They would fortify the hen-house, lock up the silly goose,When the rumour ran along th

15、e shore: GROWLTIGERS ON THE LOOSE!Woe to the weak canary, that fluttered from its cage;Woe to the pampered Pekinese, that faced Growltigers rage.Woe to the bristly Bandicoot, that lurks on foreign ships,And woe to any Cat with whom Growltiger came to grips!But most to Cats of foreign race his hatred

16、 had been vowed;To Cats of foreign name and race no quarter was allowed.The Persian and the Siamese regarded him with fear-Because it was a Siamese had mauled his missing ear.Now on a peaceful summer night, all nature seemed at play,The tender moon was shining bright, the barge at Molesey lay.All in

17、 the balmy moonlight it lay rocking on the tide-And Growltiger was disposed to show his sentimental side.His bucko mate, GRUMBUSKIN, long since had disappeared,For to the Bell at Hampton he had gone to wet his beard;And his bosun, TUMBLEBRUTUS, he too had stoln away-In the yard behind the Lion he wa

18、s prowling for his prey.In the forepeak of the vessel Growltiger sate alone,Concentrating his attention on the Lady GRIDDLEBONE.And his raffish crew were sleeping in their barrels and their bunks-As the Siamese came creeping in their sampans and their junks.Growltiger had no eye or ear for aught but

19、 Griddlebone,And the Lady seemed enraptured by his manly baritone,Disposed to relaxation, and awaiting no surprise-But the moonlight shone reflected from a thousand bright blue eyes.And closer still and closer the sampans circled round,And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound.The lover

20、s sang their last duet, in danger of their lives-For the foe was armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knives.Then GILBERT gave the signal to his fierce Mongolian horde;With a frightful burst of fireworks the Chinks they swarmed aboard.Abandoning their sampans, and their pullaways and junks,Th

21、ey battened down the hatches on the crew within their bunks.Then Griddlebone she gave a screech, for she was badly skeered;I am sorry to admit it, but she quickly disappeared.She probably escaped with ease, Im sure she was not drowned-But a serried ring of flashing steel Growltiger did surround.The

22、ruthless foe pressed forward, in stubborn rank on rank;Growltiger to his vast surprise was forced to walk the plank.He who a hundred victims had driven to that drop,At the end of all his crimes was forced to go ker-flip, ker-flop.Oh there was joy in Wapping when the news flew through the land;At Mai

23、denhead and Henley there was dancing on the strand.Rats were roasted whole at Brentford, and at Victoria Dock,And a day of celebration was commanded in Bangkok.The Rum Tum TuggerThe Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat:If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse.If you put him in a house he wou

24、ld much prefer a flat,If you put him in a flat then hed rather have a house.If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat,If you set him on a rat then hed rather chase a mouse.Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat- And there isnt any call for me to shout it: For he will do As he do do And the

25、res no doing anything about it!The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore:When you let him in, then he wants to be out;Hes always on the wrong side of every door,And as soon as hes at home, then hed like to get about.He likes to lie in the bureau drawer,But he makes such a fuss if he cant get out.Yes the

26、 Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat- And there isnt any use for you to doubt it: For he will do As he do do And theres no doing anything about it!The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast:His disobliging ways are a matter of habit.If you offer him fish then he always wants a feast;When there isnt any fish

27、then he wont eat rabbit.If you offer him cream then he sniffs and sneers,For he only likes what he finds for himself;So youll catch him in it right up to the ears,If you put it away on the larder shelf.The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing,The Rum Tum Tugger doesnt care for a cuddle;But hell leap

28、 on your lap in the middle of your sewing,For theres nothing he enjoys like a horrible muddle.Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat- And there isnt any need for me to spout it: For he will do As he do do And theres no doing anything about it!The Song of the JelliclesJellicle Cats come out tonight,

29、Jellicle Cats come one come all:The Jellicle Moon is shining bright-Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.Jellicle Cats are black and white,Jellicle Cats are rather small;Jellicle Cats are merry and bright,And pleasant to hear when they caterwaul.Jellicle Cats have cheerful faces,Jellicle Cats have br

30、ight black eyes;They like to practise their airs and gracesAnd wait for the Jellicle Moon to rise.Jellicle Cats develop slowly,Jellicle Cats are not too big;Jellicle Cats are roly-poly,They know how to dance a gavotte and a jig.Until the Jellicle Moon appearsThey make their toilette and take their r

31、epose:Jellicles wash behind their ears,Jellicles dry between their toes.Jellicle Cats are white and black,Jellicle Cats are of moderate size;Jellicles jump like a jumping-jack,Jellicle Cats have moonlit eyes.Theyre quiet enough in the morning hours,Theyre quiet enough in the afternoon,Reserving their terpsichorean powers To dance by the light of the Jellicle Moon.Jellicle Cats are black and white,Jellicle Cats (as I said) are small;If it happens to be a stormy nightThey will practise a caper or