Science says parents of successful kids have these 11 things in common.docx

1、Science says parents of successful kids have these 11 things in commonScience says parents of successful kids have these 11 things in commonAny good parent wants their kidsto stay out of trouble, do well in school, and go on to do awesome things as adults.And while there isnt a set recipe for raisin

2、g successful children, psychology research has pointed to a handful of factors that predict success.Unsurprisingly, much of it comes down to the parents.Heres whatparents of successful kids have in common:1. They make their kids do chores.AngryJulieMonday/flickrIf kids arent doing the dishes, it mea

3、ns someone else is doing that for them, Julie Lythcott-Haims, former dean of freshmen at Stanford University and author ofHow to Raise an Adult said during aTED Talks Liveevent.And so theyre absolved of not only the work, but of learning that work has to be done and that each one of us must contribu

4、te for the betterment of the whole, she said.Lythcott-Haims believeskids raised on chores go on to become employees who collaborate well with their coworkers, are more empathetic because they know firsthand what struggling looks like, and areable to take on tasks independently.She bases this on the

5、Harvard Grant Study, the longest longitudinal study ever conducted.By making them do chores taking out the garbage, doing their own laundry they realizeI have to do the work of life in order to be part of life,she tells Tech Insider.2. They teach their kids social skills.REUTERS/Elijah NouvelageRese

6、archers from Pennsylvania State University and Duke University tracked more than 700 children from across the US between kindergarten and age 25 andfound a significant correlation between their social skills as kindergartners and their success as adults two decades later.The 20-year study showed tha

7、t socially competent children who could cooperate with their peers without prompting, be helpful to others, understand their feelings, and resolve problems on their own, were far more likely to earn a college degree and have a full-time job by age 25 than those with limited social skills.Those with

8、limited social skills also had a higher chance of getting arrested, binge drinking, and applying for public housing.This study shows that helping children develop social and emotional skills is one of the most important things we can do to prepare them for a healthy future, saidKristin Schubert, pro

9、gram director at the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, which funded the research, in a release.From an early age, these skills can determine whether a child goes to college or prison, and whether they end up employed or addicted.3. They have high expectations.Using data from a national survey of 6,600

10、 children born in 2001,University of California at Los Angeles professorNeal Halfon and his colleaguesdiscovered that the expectations parents hold for their kids have a huge effect on attainment.Parents who saw college in their childs future seemed to manage their child toward that goal irrespectiv

11、e of their income and other assets,he said in a statement.The finding came out in standardized tests: 57% of the kids who did the worst were expected to attend college by their parents, while 96% of the kids who did the best were expected to go to college.This falls in line with another psych findin

12、g:The Pygmalion effect, which states thatwhat one person expects of another can come to serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy.In the case of kids, they live up to their parents expectations.4. They have healthy relationships with each other.ShutterstockChildren in high-conflict families, whether intac

13、t or divorced, tend to fare worse than children of parents that get along,according to a University of Illinois study review.Robert Hughes Jr., professor and head of the Department of Human and Community Development at the University of Illinois and the study review author, also notes that some stud

14、ies have foundchildren in nonconflictual single-parent families farebetter than children in conflictual two-parentfamilies.The conflict between parents prior to divorcealso affectschildren negatively, while post-divorce conflict has a strong influence on childrens adjustment,Hughes says.One study fo

15、und that, after divorce,when a father without custody has frequent contact with his kids and there is minimalconflict, children fare better. But when there is conflict, frequent visits from the father are related to poorer adjustment of children.Yet another study found that 20-somethings who experie

16、nced divorce of their parents as children still report pain and distress over their parents divorceten years later.Young people who reported high conflict between theirparents were farmore likely to have feelings of loss and regret.5. Theyve attained higher educational levels.Merrimack College/Flick

17、rA2014 studylead by University of Michigan psychologist Sandra Tang found that mothers who finished high school or college were more likely to raise kids that did the same.Pulling from a group of over 14,000 children who entered kindergarten from 1998 to 2007, the study found that children born to t

18、een moms (18 years old or younger) were less likely to finish high school or go to college than their counterparts.Aspiration is at least partially responsible. Ina 2009 longitudinal studyof 856 people in semirural New York, Bowling Green State University psychologist Eric Dubow found that parents e

19、ducational level when the child was 8 years old significantly predicted educational and occupational success for the child 40 years later.6. Theyteach their kids math early on.Flickr/tracy the astonishingA2007 meta-analysisof35,000 preschoolers across the US, Canada, and England found that developin

20、g math skills early can turn into a huge advantage.The paramount importance of early math skills of beginning school with a knowledge of numbers, number order, and other rudimentary math concepts is one of the puzzles coming out of the study,coauthor and Northwestern University researcher Greg Dunca

21、nsaid in a press release.Mastery of early math skills predicts not only future math achievement, it also predicts future reading achievement.7. They develop a relationship with their kids.Dubova/ShutterstockA2014 studyof 243 people born into poverty found that children who received sensitive caregiv

22、ing in their first three years not only did better in academic tests in childhood, but had healthier relationships and greater academic attainment in their 30s.As reported on PsyBlog, parents who are sensitive caregivers respond to their childs signals promptly and appropriately and provide a secure

23、 base for children to explore the world.This suggests that investments in early parent-child relationships may result in long-term returns that accumulate across individuals lives,coauthor and University of Minnesota psychologist Lee Raby said in an interview.8. Theyre less stressed.Flickr/Oleg Sido

24、renkoAccording torecentresearchcited by Brigid Schulteat The Washington Post,the number of hours that moms spend with kids between ages 3 and 11 does little to predict the childs behavior, well-being, or achievement.Whats more, the intensive mothering or helicopter parenting approach can backfire.Mo

25、thers stress, especially when mothers are stressed because of the juggling with work and trying to find time with kids, that may actually be affecting their kids poorly, study coauthor and Bowling Green State University sociologist Kei Nomaguchi told The Post.Emotional contagion or the psychological

26、 phenomenon where people catchfeelings from one another like they would a cold helps explain why. Research shows that if your friend is happy, that brightness will infect you; if shes sad, that gloominess will transfer as well. So if a parentis exhausted or frustrated, that emotional state could tra

27、nsfer to the kids.9. Theyvalue effort over avoiding failure.China Stringer Network/ReutersWhere kids think success comes from also predicts their attainment.Over decades, Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck has discovered that children (and adults) think about success in one of two ways.Ove

28、r atthe always-fantastic Brain Pickings, Maria Popova says they go a little something like this:A fixed mindset assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens that we cant change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an

29、 assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard; striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled.A growth mindset, on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of un-intell

30、igence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities.At the core is a distinction in the way you assume your will affects your ability, and it has a powerful effect on kids. If kids are told that they aced a test because of their innate intelligence, thatcreate

31、s a fixed mindset. If they succeeded because of effort, that teaches a growth mindset.10. The moms work.Getty Images/Daniel BerehulakAccording toresearch out of Harvard Business School, there are significant benefits for children growing up with mothers who work outside the home.The study found daug

32、hters of working mothers went to school longer, were more likely to have a job in a supervisory role, and earned more money 23% more compared to their peers who were raised by stay-at-home mothers.The sons of working mothers also tended to pitch in more on household chores and childcare, the study found they spent seven-and-a-half more hours a week on childcare and 25 more minutes on