TED精选想成为更好的自己请停止与他人比较.docx

1、TED精选想成为更好的自己请停止与他人比较TED精选想成为更好的自己？请停止与他人比较！我们周围经常会有很多优秀的人，拥有超强的能力，超精彩的人生。除了羡慕，可能还会让我们质疑自己的能力，久而久之，形成很多负面情绪。本期TED演讲者Dean Furness发现了一种强大的新思维方式，专注于重新定义“个人平均水平”并逐渐变得更好。演讲者：Dean Furness演讲题目: To overcome challenges, stop comparing yourself to others中英文对照翻译It seems we have been measured almost all of our

2、lives,when we are infants, with our height and our weight,and as we grew it became our speed and our strength.我们的一生似乎都在被不同的指标来测量，在婴儿时，就量身高和体重，而长大后，就量速度和耐力。And even in school there are test scores and today with our salaries and job performance.It seems as if those personal averages are almost always

3、 used to measure where we are in comparisonto our peers.甚至在学校，也有测试分数，如今，则是我们的工资和工作表现。似乎这些个人的平均数值总是被拿来与身边人的水平做比较。And I think we should look at that a little differently.That personal average is just that, its something very personal and its for you, and I think if you focus on that and work to build

4、that, you can really start to accomplish some really amazing things.This idea started for me on a December evening in 2011.但我认为我们应该用略微不同的方式来看待它。个人平均值是非常私人的，是你专属的，我认为如果你能专注于个人水平，并在此基础上努力提升自己，你真的会开始取得很多令人惊讶的成就。2011年12月的一个晚上，我有了这一想法。I had just stepped outside to do our evening chores to feed our horses

5、. I hopped into our tractor, and a few minutes later, a five foot tall, 700-pound bale of hay fell from the loader, crushing me in the seat of the tractor and in the process shattering my T5 and T6 vertebrae.我刚准备出门做一些晚间的家务，喂我家的马。我跳上我家的拖拉机，几分钟后，一捆1.5米高，320公斤重的干草从拖拉机的装载架上倒下来，砸到了坐在拖拉机上的我，这一下子碾碎了我第五和第六节

6、胸椎。I didnt lose consciousness, but I felt this buzz throughout my body, and I knew what had happened right away. My hands were reaching for my legs, but my legs didnt recognize anything touching them. And in fact, I couldnt feel anything from the center of my chest down.我没有失去意识，但我感到一股酥麻传遍全身，我立马就知道发生

7、了什么。我把手伸向我的腿，但我的腿没有任何知觉。实际上，我胸部以下的地方都没有了任何知觉。So there I was, about 100 feet from the house, with my arms wrapped around the steering the wheel, trying to hold myself up, waiting for help. And unlike what you see in TV and the movies, as much as I tried to get the dogs to go to the house and get help

8、 -they just stared at me. Well, 45 minutes later, my wife came home,当时，我离家还有30米，双手抱着方向盘，尝试着将自己支撑起来，等待救援。与你在电视和电影中看到的不同，我尝试着让狗跑回家帮我求助可是它们只是在那里盯着我看。45分钟后，我的妻子回家了，and I heard her step out of the house and, like, normal, if I needed help, Hey, do you need help? And I said, Yes. And there was a brief pau

9、se and then I heard her yell, Do you need 9/11 help? And again I yelled, Yes. Well, not long after I was enjoying my very first helicopter ride all the way to the hospital.我听到她走出房子，就和往常一样看我是否需要帮助，“嘿，需要我帮忙吗？”然后我说：“要。”短暂停顿后，我听到她大喊：“你需要我打911急救吗？”我再次喊道：“要。”好，很快，我就享受了第一次坐直升飞机的经历，一路直达医院。Now, the injury wa

10、snt very dramatic or graphic. I simply broke a bone or two. And in the process, I was told Id probably never walk again. It became very normal for me to use a rope to sit up in bed, because my abdominal muscles no longer work.我的伤势并没有想象中那么严重。我只是断了一两根骨头。救治过程中，医生却告诉我我可能这辈子再也无法走路了。借助一根绳子从床上坐起来对我来说成为了日常，

11、因为我的腹部肌肉不再起作用。Or to use a board to slide out of bed into a wheelchair, or to even wait for people to reach things for me. Everything that I had learned and had known about my height and my strength and my balance and my mobility was blown away. My entire personal average had been reset.我也习惯了用一块板子从床上

12、滑到轮椅，或者甚至是等着别人帮我拿东西。我曾学到的以及知晓的关于自己身高、力量、平衡力、以及行动能力的一切都不复存在。我的全部个人平均数值都归零了。Now you could be sure in those days I was being measured more than ever, by the doctors and nurses for sure but maybe more so in my own mind, and I found myself comparing what I thought I was going to be able to do going forwa

13、rd with what I once was able to do. And I became pretty frustrated.毫无疑问，在那些日子里，我被测量的次数多得前所未有，肯定会有经常被医生和护士测量，但可能更多的是在我的脑海里。我发现自己在比较从此之后自己能做到的事情和我曾经能做到的事情。因此我变得非常挫败。It took some very consistent prodding from my wife, who kept saying, Get your eyes up, before I could get moving forward. And I soon real

14、ized that I almost had to forget about the person I was before and the things I was able to do before. I almost had to pretend it was never me.我的妻子一直在对我说“抬起头来”，在她坚持不懈的鼓励下，我才开始了继续前行。很快，我意识到我几乎不得不忘记曾经的自己，忘记曾经我能做到的事。我几乎不得不假装曾经的那个人不是我。And Im afraid if I had not made that realization, my frustration woul

15、d have turned into something much harder to recover from.Now, luckily, a few weeks later, I was transferred to a specialty spinal cord rehab hospital about 10 hours from home, and wouldnt you know, the first day of rehab and the first session we had something called fit class,如果我当初没有意识到这一点，恐怕我的挫败感会发

16、展为其它更加难以康复的东西。有幸的是，在几周后，我被转移到距离我家10小时车程的一家脊髓康复专科医院，你想不到在康复的第一天、第一个训练环节，我们有一节所谓的“健身课”，and a group of us broke into teams to see which team could do the most reps in the weight machine.Now, weve all been there, havent been to the gym in a year or two. Neither had I. And so what do you do? You try to d

17、o what you did a couple of years ago, and you do a couple of sets. And then what do you do?我们一群人分成几组，看哪个小组能在举重器械上做最多次试举。我们都曾经历过已经一两年没有去过健身房的情况。我也是。那么该怎么办？你尝试按照几年前的方式去做，你做了几组，之后呢？A couple more. And youre feeling even better, so you do more. And the next two weeks you complain to your family about how

18、 sore you are.Well, my team went all out and we won, we won big, and for the next three days I couldnot straighten my arms, which isnt that big a deal except when youre in a wheelchair and thats really what you have to use to get around.又做了几组。你感觉甚至更好了，于是你又多做了几组。在接下来的两周，你会和家人抱怨你的肌肉有多酸痛。我的小组全力以赴，大获全胜。

19、但是在接下来的三天，我都没法伸直手臂，这听起来不是什么大事，除非你坐轮椅，不得不用手臂操控轮椅到处走。And that proved to be a very important lesson for me. It was one thing that I couldnt compare myself to myself, but even around people in the same situation in that hospital, I found that I couldnt try to keep pace or set pace with them as well,这成为了

20、我收获的一个很宝贵的教训不能进行自我比较是一码事，但甚至是和同在那个医院、与我处境相同的人相比，我发现我也无法跟上他们的步伐，或是与他们并驾齐驱，and I was left with really only one choice and that was to focus on who I was at that point in time with where I needed to go and to get back to who I needed to be.For the next six weeks, for seven to eight hours a day, thats w

21、hat I did.于是我别无选择，只能专注当下的自己，专注于我需要达到的目标，并且变回我需要成为的人。在接下来的6周，每天7-8个小时，这就是我做的事。I built little by little, and, as you might expect, when youre recovering from a spinal cord injury, youre going to have a bad day. You might have a few in a row. What I found out is that good and bad really didnt have a lo

22、t of meaning unless I had the context of knowing what my average was.我一点一点努力，你可能也预料到，当你从脊髓损伤中恢复时，你将会度过很糟糕的一天。你可能连着几天都很糟糕。而我发现，好坏并没什么重大的意义，除非我了解自己的平均值在哪里。It was really up to me to decide if something was bad or good based on where I was at that point in time, and it was in my control to determine if

23、it really was a bad day. In fact, it was my decision on whether or not I could stop a streak of bad days.这完全取决于我自己：基于那时候我的能力，什么是好，什么是坏。决定一天过得是否很糟糕完全在我的掌控范围内。实际上，我是否能停止一连串糟糕的日子也是我自己的决定。And what I found during that time away from home is I never had a bad day, even with everythinggoing on. There were

24、parts of my day that were certainly not as pleasant as they could be, but it was never an entirely bad day.在离家的那段时间里，我发现即使发生各种事情，但没有一天是糟糕的。那些日子里，有的时候肯定不尽如人意，但那从来不会是完全糟糕的一天。So Im guessing that all of you have been through a meeting that probably didnt go very well, or a commute that wasnt as great as

25、 you would like it, or even burned dinner at night. Did those things really ruin your entire day?我猜你们所有人都经历过可能进行得不太顺利的会议，或不是很棒的通勤体验，甚至是烧焦了晚饭。这些小不幸真的会毁了你的一整天吗？What I found in those scenarios is the quicker you move on to whats next, the quicker you can start attacking things. And by moving on to next

26、 as fast as possible, you shrink the time you spend in those bad scenarios and it gives more time for the good. And, as a result, the good outweighs the bad, your average increases and thats just how the math works.在这些场景下，我发现，你越快将注意力转移到下件事上，你就能更快地开始全力以赴。通过尽快把注意力转移到下一件事上，你缩减了在负面情景上所花的时间，并把更多的时间专注于正面情

27、景。因此，利大于弊，你的平均值也就提升了，这也就是数学的原理。It didnt matter to me if Id spent the morning really struggling with my medication, or at lunch my legs being very spastic, or even if I had fallen out of my wheelchair. Ask my wife. It happens quite often. Shes here. They were just small parts of my day and small part

28、s of my average.如果整个早上我都为吃药而苦苦挣扎，或在午饭时腿抽筋了，甚至从轮椅上摔下来，这些对我都不重要。可以问我的妻子，这些经常发生。她就在这儿。但这些只是我一天中很小的一部分，我平均值中的一小部分。And so, in the months and years that followed, I continued to try to attack things in that way, and before I knew it I was being presented with some pretty incredible challenges, like comple

29、ting a marathon in a wheelchair.于是，在后来的几个月以及几年中，我继续用这种方式全力以赴，而且在我意识到之前，我已完成了不少令人难以置信的挑战，例如在轮椅上跑完一场马拉松。In early 2016, I met my physical therapist, and after a few really grueling sessions, she must have sensed something, because she pulled me aside and said, You know, you should do a half marathon. I

30、n your wheelchair. And, oh yeah, its in 10 weeks. And I thought in my mind, Youre crazy. I didnt have a workout plan.在2016年年初，我见了我的理疗师，在几次非常艰苦的康复训练后，她一定是感觉到了什么，因为她把我拉到一边说：“你应该参加半马。坐着轮椅参加。哦，就在10周后。”我当时脑子里想：你太疯狂了。我没有健身计划，I didnt have any way of knowing how fast I needed to go or how far I was supposed

31、 to go. But I simply got to work, and I started tracking every workout, every day, and I simply wanted to be as good as or as fast as I was the prior day. And in the end I really created that average for myself and I tried to build on that as much as I could.我也完全不知道我需要跑多快，或是我需要跑多远。但我只是开始锻炼，并开始每天记录追踪

32、每次健身，我只是简单地想要让自己和昨天的表现一样好、跑得一样快。最后，我真的为自己创造了平均值，我也尝试尽自己所能从那个数值开始更上一层楼。Well, I finished that race right in time with what my average should have been, and somewhere along the way I kind of closed the door on who I once was. That person who I was before and all those things I thought I was able to do really didnt matter. In fact, walking again really didnt matter.最后，我按时完成了比赛，速度也达到了我的平均水准，而且在途中，我似乎忘记了自己曾经的模样。那个事故