4册1 Entertaining humor.docx

1、4册1 Entertaining humorEntertaining Humor- Whats Funny?PreparationStep 1 Ten top Cold joke1 How do you catch a squirrel? Climb into a tree and act like a nut.2 Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book?They all have phones.3 What is the famous last words in surgery?Ouch!4 Whats the difference

2、between a mosquito and a fly?A mosquito can fly, but a fly cant mosquito.5 Whats long, yellow, and has been out in the sun too long?A banana peel.6 What did the snail say on the back of a travelling turtle?“weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”7 There is a new book out called how To Be Happy without Money.I

3、t costs ten dollars.8 One night, a mental patient stopped a young man with a gun, asked him, “ What is one plus one?” The young man was so frightened, and thought for a long time, then answered, “two” But the mental patient shot him. Do you know Why?Because the patient said, “ You know too much”9 A

4、man asked God to give him 9 lives. God promised him. One day, the man felt boring and lied on a railway, anyway hed got 9 lives. But in the end, he died. Why? The train had 10 carriages10 Q: a deer, has no eyes, whats its name？ A: I dont know ,what is it？ Q: no eye deer(no idea) agian, a deer has no

5、 eyes, no legs, whats its name？ A: I dont know, whats it then？ Q: still no idea”Q: a deer, has no eyes, whats its name？（一只鹿，没有眼睛，应该叫什么？） A: I dont know ,what is it？（我不知道，该叫什么？） Q: no eye deer(no idea)（没眼睛鹿没主意（英语口语的谐音） agian, a deer has no eyes, no legs, whats its name？（那么，一只鹿，没眼睛，也没有腿，该叫什么？） A: I do

6、nt know, whats it then？（我还是不知道，应该叫什么？） Q: still no idea”（还是没眼睛鹿（用了谐音）Step 2 13 humorous expressions of loving someone1 Shakespeare:If you love someone, set her free If she ever comes back, shes yours.2 Optimist:If you love someone, set her free Dont worry, she will come back.3 Machinator阴谋家: If you

7、love someone, set her free If she ever comes back, ask her why.4 Impatient:If you love someone, set her free If she doesnt come back within some time, forget her.5 Playful:If you love someone, set her free If she comes back, and you love her still, set her free again, repeat it.7 Lawyers:If you love

8、 someone, set her freeClause of Paragraph 131-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that8 Bill Gates:If you love someone, set her freeIf she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but tell her that shes also going to get an upgrade.Re-install

9、ation重装 upgrade升级9 Biologist: If you love someone, set her free, shell evolve. 10 Salesman: If you love someone, set her freeIf she ever comes back, deal! If she doesnt, Nothing! “Next.”11 Schwarzeneggers fans:If you love someone, set her freeShell be back.12 Insurance agent:If you love someone, sho

10、w her the planIf she ever comes back, sign her up. If she doesnt, keep following up with her and never give up.13 Nowadays style:If you love someone, set her free If she comes back, she is yours, If she doesnt, hunt her down and kill her! Or perhaps report to immigration that she is an illegal. If y

11、ou love someone, why in the first place set her free? Careless idiot!Step 3 The typical three parts of a joke:1 setup2 body3 punch line A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “ Everyone who thinks you are stupid, stand up!”Little Johnny then stoo

12、d up.The teacher said, “ Do you think youre stupid, Johnny?”“ No, Madam, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!” While at the pub, an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scot each found a fly swimming around in his beer. The Englishman asked the waiter for a napkin and a teaspoon. Elegantl

13、y scooping the fly out, he placed it in the napkin and delicately folded it.The Irishman pushed his sleeve up, immersed his hand in the beer, caught the fly, threw it on the floor, and stepped on it. The scot silently took his jacket off, draped it neatly over the chair, folded his shirtsleeves up,

14、and bent over his pint. Carefully he fished the fly out by picking it up by its wings. He lifted it just above the mug, shook the fly, and in a threatening voice bellowed, “ Now spit it out!”I “振振”有词1 universal (adj.) (Line1, Para1) 1) relating to everyone in the world or everyone in a particular gr

15、oup or society 普遍的, 全体的 名词形式：universe 宇宙非典和禽流感曾经引起过普遍的恐慌。SARS and bird flu have once caused universal panic.2 humor (n.) (Line 4, Para. 2)(capacity to cause or feel) amusement 幽默；诙谐A sense of humor词汇扩充humorous (adj.) (Line 21, Para. 5) 幽默的humorless (adj.) (Line 19, Para. 3) 缺乏幽默感的humorist (n.) (Line 65, Para. 10) 幽默(作)家, 有敏锐幽默感的人请用 humorous, humorless 或 humorist填空。I think actor Guo Donglin is rather _.We all view his father as a _. Being _ is