4册1 Entertaining humor.docx
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4册1Entertaininghumor
EntertainingHumor----What’sFunny?
Preparation
Step1TentopColdjoke
1Howdoyoucatchasquirrel?
Climbintoatreeandactlikeanut.
2WhyaretheresomanyJohnsonsinthephonebook?
Theyallhavephones.
3Whatisthefamouslastwordsinsurgery?
Ouch!
!
4What’sthedifferencebetweenamosquitoandafly?
Amosquitocanfly,butaflycan’tmosquito.
5What’slong,yellow,andhasbeenoutinthesuntoolong?
Abananapeel.
6Whatdidthesnailsayonthebackofatravellingturtle?
“weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…”
7ThereisanewbookoutcalledhowToBeHappywithoutMoney.
Itcoststendollars.
8Onenight,amentalpatientstoppedayoungmanwithagun,askedhim,“Whatisoneplusone?
”Theyoungmanwassofrightened,andthoughtforalongtime,thenanswered,“two…”Butthementalpatientshothim.DoyouknowWhy?
Becausethepatientsaid,“Youknowtoomuch…”
9AmanaskedGodtogivehim9lives.Godpromisedhim.Oneday,themanfeltboringandliedonarailway,anywayhe’dgot9lives.Butintheend,hedied.Why?
Thetrainhad10carriages…
10Q:
adeer,hasnoeyes,what'sitsname？
A:
Idon’tknow,whatisit？
Q:
noeyedeer……（noidea）
agian,adeerhasnoeyes,nolegs,what'sitsname？
A:
Idon’tknow,what'sitthen？
Q:
stillnoidea……”
Q:
adeer,hasnoeyes,what'sitsname？
（一只鹿，没有眼睛，应该叫什么？
）
A:
Idon’tknow,whatisit？
（我不知道，该叫什么？
）
Q:
noeyedeer……（noidea）（没眼睛鹿……没主意（英语口语的谐音））
agian,adeerhasnoeyes,nolegs,what'sitsname？
（那么，一只鹿，没眼睛，也没有腿，该叫什么？
）
A:
Idon’tknow,what'sitthen？
（我还是不知道，应该叫什么？
）
Q:
stillnoidea……”（还是没眼睛鹿（用了谐音））
Step213humorousexpressionsoflovingsomeone
1Shakespeare:
Ifyoulovesomeone,setherfree…Ifsheevercomesback,she’syours.
2Optimist:
Ifyoulovesomeone,setherfree…Don’tworry,shewillcomeback.
3Machinator[阴谋家]:
Ifyoulovesomeone,setherfree…Ifsheevercomesback,askherwhy.
4Impatient:
Ifyoulovesomeone,setherfree…Ifshedoesn’tcomebackwithinsometime,forgether.
5Playful:
Ifyoulovesomeone,setherfree…Ifshecomesback,andyouloveherstill,setherfreeagain,repeatit.
7Lawyers:
Ifyoulovesomeone,setherfree…ClauseofParagraph131-1inthesecondamendmentoftheMatrimonialFreedomActclearlystatesthat…
8BillGates:
Ifyoulovesomeone,setherfree…Ifshecomesback,Ithinkwecanchargeherforre-installationfeesbuttellherthatshe’salsogoingtogetanupgrade.
Re-installation[重装]upgrade[升级]
9Biologist:
Ifyoulovesomeone,setherfree,she’llevolve.
10Salesman:
Ifyoulovesomeone,setherfree…Ifsheevercomesback,deal!
Ifshedoesn’t,Nothing!
“Next.”
11Schwarzenegger’sfans:
Ifyoulovesomeone,setherfree…She’llbeback.
12Insuranceagent:
Ifyoulovesomeone,showhertheplan…Ifsheevercomesback,signherup.Ifshedoesn’t,keepfollowingupwithherandnevergiveup.
13Nowadays’style:
Ifyoulovesomeone,setherfree…Ifshecomesback,sheisyours,Ifshedoesn’t,huntherdownandkillher…!
Orperhapsreporttoimmigrationthatsheisanillegal.Ifyoulovesomeone,whyinthefirstplacesetherfree?
?
?
?
Carelessidiot!
!
!
Step3Thetypicalthreepartsofajoke:
1setup
2body
3punchline
@Ateacherwastryingtomakeuseofherpsychologycourses.Shestartedherclassbysaying,“Everyonewhothinksyouarestupid,standup!
”
LittleJohnnythenstoodup.
Theteachersaid,“Doyouthinkyou’restupid,Johnny?
”
“No,Madam,butIhatetoseeyoustandingthereallbyyourself!
”
@Whileatthepub,anEnglishman,anIrishman,andaScoteachfoundaflyswimmingaroundinhisbeer.TheEnglishmanaskedthewaiterforanapkinandateaspoon.Elegantlyscoopingtheflyout,heplaceditinthenapkinanddelicatelyfoldedit.
TheIrishmanpushedhissleeveup,immersedhishandinthebeer,caughtthefly,threwitonthefloor,andsteppedonit.
Thescotsilentlytookhisjacketoff,drapeditneatlyoverthechair,foldedhisshirtsleevesup,andbentoverhispint.Carefullyhefishedtheflyoutbypickingitupbyitswings.Helifteditjustabovethemug,shookthefly,andinathreateningvoicebellowed,“Nowspititout!
”
I“振振”有词
1universal（adj.）（Line1,Para1）
1）relatingtoeveryoneintheworldoreveryoneinaparticulargrouporsociety普遍的,全体的
名词形式：
universe宇宙
非典和禽流感曾经引起过普遍的恐慌。
SARSandbirdfluhaveoncecauseduniversalpanic.
2humor（n.）（Line4,Para.2）
（capacitytocauseorfeel）amusement幽默；诙谐
Asenseofhumor
词汇扩充
humorous（adj.）（Line21,Para.5）
幽默的
humorless（adj.）（Line19,Para.3）
缺乏幽默感的
humorist（n.）（Line65,Para.10）
幽默（作）家,有敏锐幽默感的人
请用humorous,humorless或humorist填空。
IthinkactorGuoDonglinisrather_________.
Weallviewhisfatherasa________.
Being_________is
升级会员 