最新推荐guy里guy气网络用语范文模板 13页Word下载.docx

1、39 When I became a psychologist, I began to notice favoritism of a different kind,and that is how much more we value the body than we do the mind.I spent nine years at university earning my doctorate inpsychology,and I cant tell you how many people look at my business card and say,Oh, a psychologist

2、. So not a real doctor,as if it should say that on my card.（Laughter）This favoritism we show the body over the mind, I see it everywhere.01:20 I recently was at a friends house,and their five-year-old was getting ready for bed.He was standing on a stool by the sink brushing his teeth,when he slipped

3、, and scratched his leg on the stool when he fell.He cried for a minute, but then he got back up,got back on the stool, and reached out for a box of Band-Aids to put one on his cut.Now, this kid could barely tie his shoelaces,but he knew you have to cover a cut, so it doesnt become infected,and you

4、have to care for your teeth by brushing twice a day.We all know how to maintain our physical healthand how to practice dental hygiene, right?Weve known it since we were five years old.But what do we know about maintaining our psychological health?Well, nothing.What do we teach our children about emo

5、tional hygiene?Nothing.How is it that we spend more time taking care of our teeththan we do our minds.Why is it that our physical health is so much more important to usthan our psychological health? 02:32 We sustain psychological injuries even more often than we do physical ones,injuries like failur

6、e or rejection or loneliness.And they can also get worse if we ignore them,and they can impact our lives in dramatic ways.And yet, even though there are scientifically proven techniqueswe could use to treat these kinds of psychological injuries,we dont.It doesnt even occur to us that we should.Oh, y

7、oure feeling depressed? Just shake it off; its all in your head.Can you imagine saying that to somebody with a broken leg:Oh, just walk it off;s all in your leg.（Laughter）It is time we closed the gap between our physical and our psychological health.Its time we made them more equal,more like twins.

8、03:26 Speaking of which, my brother is also a psychologist.So hes not a real doctor, either.（Laughter）We didnt study together, though.In fact, the hardest thing Ive ever done in my lifeis move across the Atlantic to New York Cityto get my doctorate in psychology.We were apart then for the first time

9、 in our lives,and the separation was brutal for both of us.But while he remained among family and friends,I was alone in a new country.We missed each other terribly,but international phone calls were really expensive thenand we could only afford to speak for five minutes a week.When our birthday rol

10、led around,it was the first we wouldnt be spending together.We decide to splurge, and that week we would talk for 10 minutes.I spent the morning pacing around my room, waiting for him to call -and waiting and waiting, but the phone didnt ring.Given the time difference, I assumed,Ok, hes out with fri

11、ends, he will call later.There were no cell phones then.But he didnt.And I began to realize that after being away for over 10 months,he no longer missed me the way I missed him.I knew he would call in the morning,but that night was one of the saddest and longest nights of my life.I woke up the next

12、morning.I glanced down at the phone, and I realized I had kicked it off the hookwhen pacing the day before.I stumbled out off bed,I put the phone back on the receiver, and it rang a second later,and it was my brother, and, boy, was he pissed.（Laughter）It was the saddest and longest night of his life

13、 as well.Now I tried to explain what happened, but he said,I dont understand. If you saw I wasnt calling you,why didnt you just pick up the phone and call me?He was right. Why didnt I call him?I didnt have an answer then, but I do today,and its a simple one: loneliness. 05:42 Loneliness creates a de

14、ep psychological wound,one that distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking.It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do.It make us really afraid to reach out,because why set yourself up for rejection and heartachewhen your heart is already aching more than y

15、ou can stand?I was in the grips of real loneliness back then,but I was surrounded by people all day, so it never occurred to me.But loneliness is defined purely subjectively.It depends solely on whether you feelemotionally or socially disconnected from those around you.And I did.There is a lot of re

16、search on loneliness, and all of it is horrifying.Loneliness wont just make you miserable, it will kill you.Im not kidding.Chronic loneliness increases your likelihood of an early deathby 14 percent.Loneliness causes high blood pressure, high cholesterol.It even suppress the functioning of your immu

17、ne system,making you vulnerable to all kinds of illnesses anddiseases.In fact, scientists have concluded that taken together,chronic loneliness poses as significant a riskfor your longterm health and longevity as cigarette smoking.Now cigarette packs come with warnings saying, This could kill you.Bu

18、t loneliness doesnt.And thats why its so important that we prioritize our psychological health,that we practice emotional hygiene.Because you cant treat a psychological woundif you dont even know youre injured.Loneliness isnt the only psychological woundthat distorts our perceptions and misleads us.

19、07:39 Failure does that as well.I once visited a day care center,where I saw three toddlers play with identical plastic toys.You had to slide the red button, and a cute doggie would pop out.One little girl tried pulling the purple button, then pushing it,and then she just sat back and looked at the

20、box, with her lower lip trembling.The little boy next to her watched this happen,then turned to his box and and burst into tears without even touching it.Meanwhile, another little girl tried everything she could think ofuntil she slid the red button,the cute doggie popped out, and she squealed with

21、delight.So three toddlers with identical plastic toys,but with very different reactions to failure.The first two toddlers were perfectly capable of sliding a red button.The only thing that prevented them from succeedingwas that their mind tricked them into believing they could not.Now, adults get tr

22、icked this way as well, all the time.In fact, we all have a default set of feelings and beliefs that gets triggeredwhenever we encounter frustrations and setbacks. 08:54 Are you aware of how your mind reacts to failure?You need to be.Because if your mind tries to convince you youre incapable of some

23、thingand you believe it,then like those two toddlers, youll begin to feel helplessand youll stop trying too soon, or you wont even try at all.And then youll be even more convinced you cant succeed.You see, thats why so many people function below their actual potential.Because somewhere along the way

24、, sometimes a single failureconvinced them that they couldnt succeed, and they believed it. 09:26 Once we become convinced of something, its very difficult to change our mind.I learned that lesson the hard way when I was a teenager with my brother.We were driving with friends down a dark road at nig

25、ht,when a police car stopped us.There had been a robbery in the area and they were looking for suspects.The officer approached the car, and he shined his flashlight on the driver,then on my brother in the front seat, and then on me.And his eyes opened wide and he said,Where have I seen your face bef

26、ore?（Laughter）And I said, In the front seat.（Laughter）But that made no sense to him whatsoever.So now he thought I was on drugs.（Laughter）So he drags me out of the car, he searches me,he marches me over to the police car,and only when he verified I didnt have a police record,could I show him I had a

27、 twin in the front seat.But even as we were driving away, you could see by the look on his facehe was convinced that I was getting away with something. 10:33 Our mind is hard to change once we become convinced.So it might be very natural to feel demoralized and defeated after you fail.But youcannot

28、allow yourself to become convinced you cant succeed.You have to fight feelings of helplessness.You have to gain control over thesituation.And you have to break this kind of negative cycle before it begins.Our minds and our feelings,theyre not the trustworthy friends we thought they were.They are mor

29、e like a really moody friend,who can be totally supportive one minute, and really unpleasant the next.I once worked with this womanwho after 20 years marriage and an extremely ugly divorce,was finally ready for her first date.She had met this guy online, and he seemed nice and he seemed successful,a

30、nd most importantly, he seemed really into her.So she was very excited, she bought a new dress,and they met at an upscale New York City bar for a drink.Ten minutes into the date, the man stands up and says,Im not interested, and walks out.Rejection is extremely painful.The woman was so hurt she coul

31、dnt move. All she could do was call a friend.Heres what the friend said: Well, what do you expect?You have big hips, you have nothing interesting to say,why would a handsome, successful man like thatever go out with a loser like you?Shocking, right, that a friend could be so cruel?But it would be much less shockingif I told you it wasnt the friend who said that.Its what the woman said to herself.And thats something we all do, especially after a rejection.We