1、 Or softly strikes against her curtained door.也许译者是为了押韵,将“绣帘”译成curtained door,让人感到无从理解。 闺中女儿惜春暮, The Maid ,grieved by these signs of springs decease, 愁绪满怀无释处; Seeking some means her sorrow to express, 手把花锄出绣闺, Has rake in hand into the garden gone,rake 是耙子,不是锄头。 忍踏落花来复去? Before the fallen flowers ar
2、e trampled on.trample on 是践踏的意思,在这里,漏译了一个重要的情怀“不忍”,黛玉拿着花锄走出绣闺,看到遍地落花,不忍踩花而行,这个“不忍”之情,非常重要的一个心理描写。 柳丝榆荚自芳菲, Elm-pods and willow-floss are fragrant too; 不管桃飘与李飞; Why care,Maid,where the fallen flowers blew? 桃李明年能再发, Next year ,when peach and plum-tree bloom again, 明年闺中知有谁? Which of your sweet companio
3、ns will remain? 三月香巢已垒成, This spring the heartless swallow built his nest 梁间燕子太无情! Beneath the eaves of mud with flowers compressed. 明年花发虽可啄, Next year the flowers will blossom as before, 却不道人去梁空巢也倾。 But swallow ,nest ,and Maid will be no more. 一年三百六十日, Three hundred and three-score the years full t
4、ale: 风刀霜剑严相逼; From swords of frost and from the slaughtering gale 明媚鲜妍能几时, How can the lovely flowers long stay intact, 一朝飘泊难寻觅。 Or, once loosed,from their drifting fate draw back? 花开易见落难寻, Blooming so stead fast ,fallen so hard to find! 阶前闷杀葬花人; Beside the flowersgrave,with sorrowing mind, 独倚花锄泪暗洒,
5、 The solitary Maid sheds many a tear, 洒上空枝见血痕。 Which on the boughs as bloody drops appear.独倚花锄泪暗洒,洒上空枝见血痕。此句,翻译者译得很好,意境圆满,不过,英文译本在此,加一个注释就好了,因为,黛玉在此处用典,湘妃哭舜,泣血染竹,竹成斑,因为,黛玉号“潇湘妃子”,所以,自处是黛玉在此表达自己的万分悲痛。湘妃哭竹,这个故事需要点透。 杜鹃无语正黄昏, At twilight ,when the cuckoo sings no more, 荷锄归去掩重门; The Maiden with her rake
6、 goes in at door 青灯照壁人初睡, And lays her down between the lamplit walls, 冷雨敲窗被未温。 While a chill rain against the window falls. 为奴底事倍伤神, I know not why my hearts so strangely sad, 半为怜春半恼春: Half grieving for the spring and yet half glad: 怜春忽至恼忽去, Glad that it came ,grieved it so soon was spent. 至又无言去不闻。
7、 So soft it came ,so silently it went! 昨宵庭外悲歌发, Last night ,outside ,a mournful sound was heard: 知是花魂与鸟魂? The spirits of the flowers and of the bird.“知是”,哪里知道,表示疑问,哪里能知道是花魂,还是鸟魂?此句显然有所误解,以为既有花魂,又有鸟魂。 花魂鸟魂总难留, But neither bird nor flowers would long delay, 鸟自无言花自羞; Bird lacking speech,and flowers too
8、 shy to stay. 愿奴胁下生双翼, And then I wished that I had wings to fly 随花飞到天尽头。 Across the sky to the worlds farthest end, 天尽头, 何处有香丘? The flowers last fragrant resting-place to find.香丘,是花冢。此处,翻译成fragrant resting-place,散发着芬芳气息的休息处,显然是绝妙之译!美不胜收! 未若锦囊收艳骨, But better their remains in silk to lay 一抔净土掩风流; And
9、 bury underneath the wholesome clay, 质本洁来还洁去, Pure substances the pure earth to enrich, 强于污淖陷渠沟。 Than leave to soak and stink in some foul ditch. 尔今死去侬收葬, Can I,that these flowers obsequies attend, 未卜侬身何日丧? Divine how soon or late my life will end? 侬今葬花人笑痴, Let others laugh flower-burial to see: 他年葬
10、侬知是谁? Another year who will be burying me? 试看春残花渐落, As petals drop and spring begins to fail, 便是红颜老死时; The bloom of youth,too,sickens and turns pale. 一朝春尽红颜老 One day,when spring has gone and youth has fled. 花落人亡两不知! The Maiden and the flowers will both be dead.花落人亡的意境,译者充分把握,不过,“两不知”的含义却忽略了,是一个遗憾。 英
11、文版葬花吟(The story of the stone霍克斯)全文: Blooming so steadfast ,fallen so hard to find! After the drifting flowers across the sky: 这首英文版葬花吟,是目前最好的一种英文翻译,首先表现在形式感和韵律感,全诗,47行是含有10个音节的诗行,含有9个音节的诗行只有3个(第10,30,41行),另外只有两个为11个音节(第18,21行)。同时,我们朗读霍克斯的英文版葬花吟非常朗朗上口,易于背诵,这是因为,每一个诗行均是英语诗歌中常见的五步抑扬格。 这个英文译本,很好地表现了“诗的小
12、说,小说的诗”,整个英文译本,虽然也有遗漏,但是内涵基本很丰满,紧紧抱着小说的情节和人物塑造,品了诗歌,也品了小说。 “花落”、“人亡”是葬花吟里面,最主要的两个意境,凄美无限,霍克斯的英文译文就非常好的体现到了这一点。 把这个目前最好的英文葬花吟贴在博客里,与大家分享,共同学习。 附录中文版葬花吟花谢花飞花满天,红消香断有谁怜?游丝软系飘春榭,落絮轻沾扑绣帘;闺中女儿惜春暮,愁绪满怀无释处;手把花锄出绣闺,忍踏落花来复去?柳丝榆荚自芳菲,不管桃飘与李飞;桃李明年能再发,明年闺中知有谁?三月香巢已垒成,梁间燕子太无情!明年花发虽可啄,却不道人去梁空巢也倾。一年三百六十日,风刀霜剑严相逼;明媚鲜妍能几时,一朝飘泊难寻觅。花开易见落难寻,阶前闷杀葬花人;独倚花锄泪暗洒,洒上空枝见血痕。杜鹃无语正黄昏,荷锄归去掩重门;青灯照壁人初睡,冷雨敲窗被未温。 为奴底事倍伤神,半为怜春半恼春:怜春忽至恼忽去,至又无言去不闻。昨宵庭外悲歌发,知是花魂与鸟魂?花魂鸟魂总难留,鸟自无言花自羞;愿奴胁下生双翼,随花飞到天尽头。天尽头,何处有香丘?未若锦囊收艳骨,一抔净土掩风流;质本洁来还洁去,强于污淖陷渠沟。尔今死去侬收葬,未卜侬身何日丧?侬今葬花人笑痴,他年葬侬知是谁?试看春残花渐落,便是红颜老死时;一朝春尽红颜老,花落人亡两不知!
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