BEC作文名师点评Word文档格式.docx

1、On 20 April ,two sets of our machines got out of action.Unfortunetely,these machines were just making the goods you ordered.Because of this unforeseeable event,Therefore, we have been unbale to deliver your order timely.As our production line has been wholly renewed ,I am sure that this kind of prob

2、lem will not happen again.According to our contract,we will replace the two damaged desks mentioned in your letter of 28 June 2001.As for special discount, because of your good cooperation,we will provide you a discount of 10 percent just as you were told.Additionally,in order to compensate for the

3、inconvenience which we have brought to you ,an extra discount of 2 percent will be offered and the correct invoice will be sent to you next week as well.你给的这个折扣象是施舍。请对照范文看看差异，范文写的更礼貌更客气更具有诚意。I would like to apologise again and I can assure that all your future orders will be dealt with promptly and

4、effectively.I look forword to hearing from you soon.Band3写得还不错，但超字了。 网友作文三：Dear Mr Chandler,I am writing in response to your letter of 28 June 2001 about the order No. B 13/4620 .First of all, I would like to apologize for later the late delivery of your order as a fire broke out at the end of April

5、 in our factory. As a result, we had to work overtime to reproduce ASAP. However, I deeply regret that your order was were one of a large part of the orders that have been delayed for such a terrible accident.Therefore, as our established customer, 这里逻辑比较乱as 如果是介词的话，是作为的意思。we will offer you addition

6、al 5% discount 5% except one confirmed in our contract as before. And the reversed correct invoice and the repaired items two new desks will would be sent to you on next week at the same time.对题目理解有误，是送新的桌子，而不是修好后的桌子。I would like to assure you that we will deal with your order as quickly as we can i

7、n the future .Yours sincerelyBand 2任务完成的不是特别令人满意，对题意的理解也不完全正确。请再重听一遍范文讲解。本期作文题目：You are the manager of a small office. In order to reduce costs and improve the companys environmental practices, you have decided to collect and recycle all paper used in the office.Write a memo of 40-50 words:informing

8、 staff of the new policy.explaining how the paper will be collectedrequesting staff to co-operate with the scheme.参考作文：Sample 48 wordsTO: All staffFrom: Paul BlakePlease note that from next Monday we are introducing a environmentally friendly scheme. All used paper from the office will be recycled.

9、Used sheets should be placed in the green bin next to the photocopier for collection. All staff ate asked for their full cooperation with this scheme.网友作文一：All staffFROM:RE:recycle paper policy In order to reduce costs and improve our companys environmental practices,I decide to1 collect and recycle

10、 all paper used in the office.you shoud place your paper in the green box near the fountain before 6 pm on friday,we will recycle them once a week.Cooperate please2.修改：1你不是公司的助理或者负责清洁的吧？怎么自己去collect paper? 改为：it is decided to .2这句话应该放在上面一段的最尾。不是please, 而是we need your cooperation.网友作文二：To: Mr. Za Her

11、e is the new policy aim to1 reduction the costs2 and improvement of the environmental practices of our company. Used paper in this office, on effect of this policy, should be collected by one appointed clerk each day for recycle use by selling them to recycle bin for a profit. 3 Please cooperate wit

12、h this policy for our own good and each one will serve the duty in turn.4Thank you1结构问题，后面应该是分词做定语或状语，改为：aiming to 2反了，应该是：cost reduction 另外，aim to 是个动词词组，to 是介词么？ 后面应该是动词词组。3公司要靠卖废品来取得利润么？这句话说得可是太掉价了。去掉吧。4去掉。You are a key account manager for a telecommunications company. You are going to be out of

13、the office for a week.Write an e-mail of 40-50 words to your client.*telling them how long you will be away*explaining where you will be*suggesting who they can contact while you are away.Sample:Dear Mr. Pawlak:I will be out of the office for ten days from 18th November. I will be attending the Tele

14、communications Trade Fair in London. While I am away my colleague Marry Richards will be looking after my clients, please contact her with any questions or problems you may have.网友作文： sarah, abc companyFr: nono, manager for aa telecommunications companyDate: Nov. 7th,2008subject: about a week leave

15、for business trip Id like to tell you that 1 I will be one-week leave for a business trip in England from Nov. 10th to Nov.15th. If you have any problems, dont hesitate to contact with my assistant julie whose extension number is 555 and she will help you to do the operation.Thanks for your coorpera

16、tion2.1去掉2去掉。 其他地方很好！Formulate a smoking policy for your office which is fair to both smokers and nonsmokers. Write a 40-50 word memo informing all staff of the policy.老师提示：我们需要确定，如果我是公司职员，我要在这篇memo中获得什么信息？是不是要知道：1.新的吸烟政策从什么时候开始；2.吸烟区划定在什么地方？ All Employees CEO, Willan SmithSUBJECT: NEW SMOKING POLIC

17、Y For all the employees, especially smokers,1 plz be aware that our companys new smoking policy has been formulated as follow: A main smoking areas going to be restricted before Next MONDAY2, anyone is not allowed to smoker in non-smoking zone even in the washing room.3Plz target the smoking and non

18、-smoking area and stick to the companys new policy.4Thx.1去掉，抬头已经写过给所有的员工，所以直接从正文开始就行了，费这个事干什么？2时间不确切，最好是 from next Monday. Before 这个期限是什么时候？如果不能给出确切信息，就不要说，还不如换成具体的吸烟区域更好: be restricted to the room next to the toilet.3你经常在洗手间吸烟吗？或者你们公司有这样的同事？把这句话去掉。4添加：to ensure that it is fair to all of you. Hope00

19、68Everybody know that smoking is dangerous for your health. And the The studies didnt just point to the ill effects of smoking on those who smoke-non-smokers, too. 1 Notice is hereby given that the smoking area is located in the special corner2 of the first floor of this building. This come into for

20、ce on3 September 15th.Thanks.1Memo 的主要作用就是提醒同事们注意事项，这和吸烟有多有害不相干，去掉。改为：to assure working environment2一般的公司都应该给个room3from你是一家国际大公司的人力资源部经理。你刚刚任命弗朗西斯卡女士为公司总部的销售经理。给总部的全体员工写一个字数为40-50的备忘录：（1）宣布对弗朗西斯卡女士的任命。（2）说明她开始工作的具体时间。（3）要求总部员工准备欢迎她。提示：1 注意这次的备忘录不是直接写给个人的，而是写给集体员工的，因而格式上一般不用信头称呼的形式，也不采用在结尾处署上写信人的名字的方

21、式，而是在备忘录的开头处写明收信人To_，在结尾处写明具体的写信人From_以及题:Re_或Subject：_。2 要看清角色要求，作为经理给总部的全体员工写备忘录，文体不必太正式。老师建议：首先，我们要了解一篇memo的基本格式：MEMORANDUM Olive HR Manager To: 12 June, 2008 Subject: Appointment of Francisco Here we announce the appointment of Mrs. Francisco as our new Sales Manager of the Headquarter. She will

22、 be starting her job next Monday morning. There will be a small welcome party by 9:00 that day so everyone please be on time. 从基本格式来看，网友的作文在格式上欠缺完整。职位称呼错误。其次，写一篇作文，我们说任何形式的BEC作文，都要考虑如下因素：Who is going to read my memo?What has the reader already known about this?What does the reader need to know?How i

23、s the reader going to respond my memo?第三，memo尽量使用短句，这样表达清晰，结构紧凑。第四，字数超，memo使用词汇要简短干练，确保大家都看得懂。第五，写memo前要考虑清楚字句的组织，用精练的语言，有头有尾地把memo完成。You are a manager at an auditors called Golding & Co. Your company has just merged with a competitor to become MasonGolding. You have been asked to inform stafff of t

24、he change of name.informing staff of the new name.telling them when to start using the new name.asking staff to use only the new name after that time.样本 Sample writing （46 words） Mr. PortI would like to inform you that, following the recent merger with Mason and Son, the new name for our company wil

25、l be MasonGolding. This name becomes official on 12th, Nov.2008. Please note that from this time, the new company name only should be used.Thank you. ALL STAFF MANAGER CHANGE THE COMPANY NAMEAs you know,（our company has merged last week）1. We decide to change the name. 2 From July. 8th the company n

26、ame changes to MasonGolding. Please pay attention to use the new name for3 instead when you have a meeting with client. 41这句话明显是中文的痕迹，译成中文，中国人可以理解，外国人肯定不能。2既然并购就意味着要换公司的名字，怎么是we decide?在商务英语的写作中，主语一般都选择客体代词，避免应用主观性很强的句子。3Instead 可以直接放在句尾，不用介词。4这个范围也太有限了，难道只有和客户见面才用新名称么？整句改为：please use the new name officially from then. P.Jones all the staff 9/21/2008Subject: the company name As our company has just merged with a compatitor1 to become MasonGolding.We decieded to 2start using the new name next week