英文幽默故事Word文档格式.docx

1、It is part of the game.plate wake late Mom is washing plates in the kitchen. Kate and her brother Dave are playing games in the living room. Kate is making a lot of noise. Mom says, “Kate, why do you yell and scream so much? Youre going to wake up your grandma. Please play quietly like Dave. See, he

2、 doesnt make a sound.” “Of course, he doesnt. Mom, its part of the game we are playing. He is daddy coming home late, and I m you.”Lesson3 The best Present.best get wet Ben and Ted are good friends. They always play together. One day, Ted sees a water gun in Bens hand, and he asks, “Who gave you the

3、 gun?” “My grandpa,” Ben says, “and this is the best present I have ever had.” “why?” Ted asks. “when I play with it, I get everything wet. So my mom gives me five dollars for not playing with it.” Ben answers. Lesson 4 I have his ear in my pocket.his big kidTim is a naughty boy. He often fights wit

4、h his classmates at school. One day, Tim comes home with a bloody nose. His mother asks, “Tim, what happened?“ A big kid bit me.” Tim answers.His mother is very angry to hear this.“ Would you recognize him if you saw him again?” asks his mother.“ I d know him anywhere.” Says Tim. “ I have his ear in

5、 my pocket.”Lesson 5My dog doesnt bite.white bite nice Mike walks into a pet shop and sees a little white dog. He asks the shopkeeper, “ Does your dog bite?The shopkeeper says, “ No, my dog doesnt bite.”“ What a nice dog,” Mike says to himself. Then he bends down and tries to touch the dog. The dog

6、bites him.“ Ouch! ” he cries, “ You said your dog did not bite!The shopkeeper replies, “ That is not my dog.”Lesson 6 I was not lost.dog stop hot Bob is an old man. He often walks his dog in the street after dinner and comes back home at seven oclock.One evening, a car stops at his house. A policema

7、n helps Bob get out of the car. The policeman says to Bob s wife, “ This old man got lost in the street. He asked me to take him home in the car.”After the policeman leaves, Bobs wife asks, “ Bob, you go to that street every day. How could you get lost?“ I was not lost. It was too hot. I just didnt

8、want to go home on foot,” Bob answers. Lesson 7 I broke them all.coke nose brokeLittle Rose is watching TV. Her mother asks, “Rose, whats on TV?” “ A guy is drinking a glass of coke through his nose.”“ Stop watching that stupid thing. Please go to the shop and buy some eggs for me.”“ Okay, mom.”“ Be

9、 careful not to choose any bad ones.” Half an hour later, Rose comes back home with a yellow plastic bag. Her mother takes the bag, and looks inside.“ What is it? ” she asks.“ Eggs, of course!” Rose say, “ I broke them all. Every one is good.”“Are you joking?” her mother asks.Lesson 8 A man with a g

10、un.bus run gun Its a sunny day. A woman gets off the bus and goes into a butcher shop to buy some meat. A strange man follows her into the shop. At that time, some policemen are passing by. They find a gun in the mans pocket. The man is a robber.“Madam, thank you very much. Your scream saved me,” th

11、e butcher says , “but how did you know he was a robber?“ I didnt know,” replies the woman, “ I screamed because the meat was too expensive.”Lesson 9 Just use a pencil.cute excuse use Tom is a little boy. He is cute, but also very naughty. One evening, he eats a ballpoint pen. His mom quickly calls t

12、he doctor, “Excuse me, doctor, my son ate a ballpoint pen. Please come doctor, my son ate a ballpoint pen. Please come to my house at once.”“ Im sorry, but it is too late. Im already in bed.” The doctor refuses to help.“ Then what shall I do?” the mother says anxiously. “ Dont worry, mom. You can ju

13、st use a pencil,” Tom says in pain.Lesson 10 A smart answerfar car smart Marks father has a farm. Its far away from the city. One day Mark goes to the farm with his father by car.On the farm, Mark sees many hens. He looks at the hens and the question comes to his mind. He asks his father, “ Why are

14、the hens legs so short, dad?Marks father smiles and says, “ If the hens legs are long, they will drop their eggs into pieces.”“Dad, you are so smart. You know everything, ” Mark says.Lesson 11 Im the driverover sister driver School is over. My sister and I are hurrying home for dinner. We fight our way onto the bus. The bus is really crowded. Just then, we se