英文幽默故事Word文档格式.docx
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Itispartofthegame.
platewakelate
Momiswashingplatesinthekitchen.KateandherbrotherDaveareplayinggamesinthelivingroom.Kateismakingalotofnoise.Momsays,“Kate,whydoyouyellandscreamsomuch?
You’regoingtowakeupyourgrandma.PleaseplayquietlylikeDave.See,hedoesn’tmakeasound.”
“Ofcourse,hedoesn’t.Mom,it’spartofthegameweareplaying.Heisdaddycominghomelate,andI‘myou.”
Lesson3ThebestPresent.
bestgetwet
BenandTedaregoodfriends.Theyalwaysplaytogether.
Oneday,TedseesawaterguninBen’shand,andheasks,“Whogaveyouthegun?
”
“Mygrandpa,”Bensays,“andthisisthebestpresentIhaveeverhad.”
“why?
”Tedasks.
“whenIplaywithit,Igeteverythingwet.Somymomgivesmefivedollarsfornotplayingwithit.”Benanswers.
Lesson4
Ihavehisearinmypocket.
hisbigkid
Timisanaughtyboy.Heoftenfightswithhisclassmatesatschool.Oneday,Timcomeshomewithabloodynose.Hismotherasks,“Tim,whathappened?
“Abigkidbitme.”Timanswers.
Hismotherisveryangrytohearthis.
“Wouldyourecognizehimifyousawhimagain?
”askshismother.
“I‘dknowhimanywhere.”SaysTim.“Ihavehisearinmypocket.”
Lesson5
Mydogdoesn’tbite.
whitebitenice
Mikewalksintoapetshopandseesalittlewhitedog.Heaskstheshopkeeper,“Doesyourdogbite?
Theshopkeepersays,“No,mydogdoesn’tbite.”
“Whatanicedog,”Mikesaystohimself.Thenhebendsdownandtriestotouchthedog.Thedogbiteshim.
“Ouch!
”hecries,“Yousaidyourdogdidnotbite!
Theshopkeeperreplies,“Thatisnotmydog.”
Lesson6Iwasnotlost.
dogstophot
Bobisanoldman.Heoftenwalkshisdoginthestreetafterdinnerandcomesbackhomeatseveno’clock.
Oneevening,acarstopsathishouse.ApolicemanhelpsBobgetoutofthecar.ThepolicemansaystoBob‘swife,“Thisoldmangotlostinthestreet.Heaskedmetotakehimhomeinthecar.”
Afterthepolicemanleaves,Bob’swifeasks,“Bob,yougotothatstreeteveryday.Howcouldyougetlost?
“Iwasnotlost.Itwastoohot.Ijustdidn’twanttogohomeonfoot,”Bobanswers.
Lesson7Ibrokethemall.
cokenosebroke
LittleRoseiswatchingTV.Hermotherasks,“Rose,what’sonTV?
”
“Aguyisdrinkingaglassofcokethroughhisnose.”
“Stopwatchingthatstupidthing.Pleasegototheshopandbuysomeeggsforme.”
“Okay,mom.”
“Becarefulnottochooseanybadones.”
Halfanhourlater,Rosecomesbackhomewithayellowplasticbag.Hermothertakesthebag,andlooksinside.
“Whatisit?
”sheasks.
“Eggs,ofcourse!
”Rosesay,“Ibrokethemall.Everyoneisgood.”
“Areyoujoking?
”hermotherasks.
Lesson8Amanwithagun.
busrungun
It’sasunnyday.Awomangetsoffthebusandgoesintoabutchershoptobuysomemeat.Astrangemanfollowsherintotheshop.Atthattime,somepolicemenarepassingby.Theyfindagunintheman’spocket.Themanisarobber.
“Madam,thankyouverymuch.Yourscreamsavedme,”thebutchersays,“buthowdidyouknowhewasarobber?
“Ididn’tknow,”repliesthewoman,“Iscreamedbecausethemeatwastooexpensive.”
Lesson9Justuseapencil.
cuteexcuseuse
Tomisalittleboy.Heiscute,butalsoverynaughty.
Oneevening,heeatsaballpointpen.Hismomquicklycallsthedoctor,“Excuseme,doctor,mysonateaballpointpen.Pleasecomedoctor,mysonateaballpointpen.Pleasecometomyhouseatonce.”
“I’msorry,butitistoolate.I’malreadyinbed.”Thedoctorrefusestohelp.
“ThenwhatshallIdo?
”themothersaysanxiously.
“Don’tworry,mom.Youcanjustuseapencil,”Tomsaysinpain.
Lesson10Asmartanswer
farcarsmart
Mark’sfatherhasafarm.It’sfarawayfromthecity.OnedayMarkgoestothefarmwithhisfatherbycar.
Onthefarm,Markseesmanyhens.Helooksatthehensandthequestioncomestohismind.Heaskshisfather,“Whyarethehens’legssoshort,dad?
Mark’sfathersmilesandsays,“Ifthehens’legsarelong,theywilldroptheireggsintopieces.”
“Dad,youaresosmart.Youknoweverything,”Marksays.
Lesson11I’mthedriver
oversisterdriver
Schoolisover.MysisterandIarehurryinghomefordinner.Wefightourwayontothebus.Thebusisreallycrowded.Justthen,wese
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