1、Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?(They all stare, bemused.) Just, cause, I dont want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh! Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. Its just two people going out to
2、dinner and- not having sex. Sounds like a date to me.Time Lapse Alright, so Im back in high school, Im standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream. Then I look down, and I realize theres a phone. there. Instead of.? Thats right. Never had t
3、hat dream. No. All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I dont know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. And they werent looking at you before?! Finally, I figure Id better answer it, and it turns out its my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!Time Lapse, Ross
4、has entered.Ross: (mortified) Hi. This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. Are you okay, sweetie? I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck. Cookie? (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. Oh
5、h. (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee. Thanks. Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.) No, no dont! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? Fine! Be murky! Ill be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope shell be very happy. No you dont. No I dont, to he
6、ll with her, she left me! And you never knew she was a lesbian. No! Okay? Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didnt know, how should I know? Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud? I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
7、 Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., Ill never have grandchildren, Ill never have grandchildren. was what? A wrong number? Sorry. Alright Ross, look. Youre feeling a lot of pain right now. Youre angry. Youre hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?(Ro
8、ss gestures his consent.) Strip joint!re single! Have some hormones! I dont want to be single, okay? I just. I just- I just wanna be married again!(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.) And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.) Rachel?Rachel:
9、Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you werent there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!Waitress: Can I get you some coffee? (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (
10、to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross? Hi, sure! Hi. (They go to hug but Rosss umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.) So you wanna tell us no
11、w, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? Oh God. well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought h
12、er coffee)Sweet n Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and thats when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Yknow, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but. Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I start
13、ed wondering Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?. (to Monica) So anyway I just didnt know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but youre the only person I knew who lived here in the city. Who wasnt invited to the wedding. Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldnt be an issue. Scene: Monicas Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on. Now Im guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and shes really not happy about it. (imitating the characters) Tu
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