why-we-love-who-we-love-翻译文档格式.doc

1、他们看起来根本不像一对-但他们的婚姻很幸福。你也不知道为什么？我认识这么一对夫妇：丈夫高大魁梧，曾经是名运动员。现在是一名成功的推销员，还在少年棒球联合会当教练，同时还是“扶轮国际”分社的活跃会员，每个星期六还与朋友一起打高尔夫。而他的妻子，小巧玲珑，不喜说话，整天待在家里。她甚至不喜欢外出吃饭。2、What mysterious force drives us into the arms of one person, while pushing us away from another who might appear equally desirable to any unbiased ob

2、server?是什么神秘力量使我们投入某人的怀抱，而把我们推离另外一些人？而这些人用旁人公正的目光来看，同样适合我们？Of the many factors influencing our idea of the perfect mate, one of the most telling, according to John Money, professor emeritus of medical psychology and pediatrics at Johns Hopkins University, is what he calls our love map - a group of m

3、essages encoded in our brains that describes our likes and dislikes. It shows our preferences in hair and eye color, in voice, smell, body build. It also records the kind of personality that appeals to us, whether its the warm and friendly type or the strong, silent type.影响我们选择伴侣的因素很多，其中最有说服力的是约翰霍普金

4、斯大学医学心理学和儿科的名誉教授约翰莫尼提出的理论，他称为“爱情图谱”-我们脑海里有一组数据编码，描述了我们喜欢或不喜欢的特征。这组数据显示了我们偏好的发型，眼睛的颜色，声音，气味和体型，它还记录了吸引我们的个性，喜欢热情友好型还是强壮安静型。In short, we fall for and pursue those people who most clearly fit our love map. And this love map is largely determined in childhood. By age eight, the pattern for our ideal mat

5、e has alreadgun to float around in our brains.总之，我们迷恋、寻找那种最符合我们爱情图谱的人。爱情图谱基本上在童年就定型了。到8岁时，理想伴侣的类型早已在我们脑海里浮现了。3、When I lecture, I often ask couples in the audience what drew them to their dates or mates. Answers range from Shes strong and independent and I go for redheads to I love his sense of humor

6、That crooked smile, thats what did it.当我演讲时我经常会在观众中挑选夫妇来提问，我问他们是什么力量驱使他们约会结婚。答案不等，有的说“她健壮而独立”或“我喜欢红头发的人”，有的说“我喜欢他的幽默感”或“他那坏坏的笑容，使我迷上了他。”I believe what they say. But I also know that if I were to ask those same men and women to describe their mothers, there would be many similarities between their id

7、eal mates and their moms. Yes, our mothers - the first real love of our lives - write a significant portion of our love map.我相信他们所说的话。我还知道如果让这些人描述他们的母亲时，他们所描述的母亲和理想伴侣之间必定有许多相似之处。是的，我们的母亲-使我们在生命中第一次真正的感受到爱的人-在心爱图像上占了很大的比重。4、When were little, our mother is the center of our attention, and we are the c

8、enter of hers. So our mothers characteristics leave an indelible impression, and we are forever after attracted to people with her facial features, body type, personality, even sense of humor. If our mother was warm and giving, as adults we tend to be attracted to people who are warm and giving. If

9、our mother was strong and even-tempered, we are going to be attracted to a fair-minded strength in our mates.在我们小的时候，我们眼中只有母亲，母亲也把所有精力放在我们身上。所以母亲的形象留给我们无法磨灭的印象，我们永远会被这样的人吸引，他们有着母亲的面貌特征，体型，个性，甚至幽默感。如果我们的母亲温暖而毫无保留，那么成年后我们会被类似的人吸引。如果我们的母亲强壮而温和，我们就会被伴侣身上这种不偏不倚的力量所吸引。The mother has an additional influenc

10、e on her sons: she not only gives them clues to what they will find attractive in a mate, but also affects how they feel about women in general. So if she is warm and nice, her sons are going to think thats the way women are. They will likely grow up warm and responsive lovers and also be cooperativ

11、e around the house. 母亲会对儿子有另外一些影响：她不仅给孩子“线索”，使他们在伴侣身上寻找那些优点，而且会影响他们对女性的看法。所以，如果她是一位温和而漂亮的女性，那么她的儿子就会认为女性都是这样的。他们自己也会成为一个温和敏感的爱人，而且在家庭生活中也乐于协作。Conversely, a mother who has a depressive personality, and is sometimes friendly but then suddenly turns cold and rejecting, may raise a man who becomes a dan

12、ce-away lover. Because hes been so scared about love from his mother, he is afraid of commitment and may pull away from a girlfriend for this reason.相反，如果母亲个性忧郁，时而友好，时而冷漠，排斥他人，那么她培养的儿子可能成为“落跑新郎”。因为母亲给他的爱是如此恐怖，他害怕承诺，很可能因此离开他的女友。5、While the mother determines in large part what qualities attract us in

13、a mate, its the father - the first male in our lives - who influences how we relate to the opposite sex. Fathers have an enormous effect on their childrens personalities and chances of marital happiness.在很大程度上，母亲决定了伴侣身上的哪些特质吸引我们，而父亲-我们生命中的第一位男性-会影响我们与异性的关系。父亲对孩子的个性，以及将来婚姻生活幸福与否有着巨大的影响。Just as mother

14、s influence their sons general feelings toward women, fathers influence their daughters general feelings about men. If a father lavishes praise on his daughter and demonstrates that she is a worthwhile person, shell feel very good about herself in relation to men. But if the father is cold, critical or absent, the daughter will tend to feel shes not very lovable or attractive.就像母亲影响着儿子对女性的一般看法，父亲影响着女儿对男性的看法。如果父亲经常盛情赞美女儿，证明她是个有用的人，女儿在与男性交往时会非常自信。但如果父亲冷漠，挑剔，缺乏关爱，女儿会觉得自己既不可爱也没有魅力。In addition, most of us grow up with people