Modern Family 台词112Not In My House.docx

1、Modern Family 台词112Not In My HousePhil : Beautiful morning, isnt it? Its a shame you have to work, huh? Anyway, I would like a large sausage and pepperoniHaley : Hey, move.Alex : Its my stuff! Okay?Haley : Just keep your hands off my stuff!Phil: Hey!Alex : I didnt put my hands on your stuff!Phil : H

2、ey! Just a second, Derek. What is the problem?Haley : Alex read my journal.Alex : I did not! Why would I even want to read your stupid journal?Haley : Because it contains the details of a life, And yo dont have one!Alex: Ohh!Phil : Alex, dont read Haleys journal.Alex: Uhh!Phil : Sorry. My daughters.

3、 You got kids? Oh. What grade are you in?Claire : Phil!Phil : Oh, thats my wife, Claire.Claire : Luke was using my computer. For this.Phil : Im gonna have to, uh, call you back.Claire : He told me he needed it to do homework, And then I find this. A-a picture of a topless woman, With the biggest boo

4、bs I have ever seen, Driving a tractor.Phil : Okay, um, uh, first of all, Thats a combine, not a tractor.Claire : Phil! Phil, it is smut, and our 10-year-old is looking at smut! Its disgusting!Phil : Completely unacceptable.Phil : Heres the thing. that was my picture. Well, not really mine. Theres t

5、his guy at work who sends out these links. Does. doesnt matter who. Gil Thorpe. He sent out another one Of the same woman dressed as a battleship. You know, the. you get. yeah. And then one of the transformers. And then it. it. Anyway, I had every intention of telling Claire. I just wanted her to ca

6、lm down first.Phil : Where are you going?Claire : Im going to pick up Luke from his sleepover. We need to talk to him about this now.Phil : Claire, this is a very delicate situation. If we dont handle it right, Luke might end up having an unhealthy attitude about sex. Or agribusiness. Well talk abou

7、t it when he gets home.Claire : Okay. Fine. But I am telling him that every time he looks at porn, God kills a puppy.Phil : Maybe I should be the one to talk to him.Gloria : I am a very lucky woman. I have a wonderful family, a beautiful home. Theres nothing that I would change. I hate the dog butle

8、r. I keep forgetting its there, And every time it happens, it scares me all over again. Sometimes, at night, I think its the devil. El diablo.Jay : Barkley? Hes hilarious. I was in Vegas last month, and I was winning. .And I thought, I could do the usual. Be a chump, give the money back to the casin

9、o. Or I could do something smart and buy something for myself at the casino store. Hes already a family favorite.Jay : Rub his chin a little under there. He likes that. There you go. Beautiful. There you go.Jay : Hes a dog and a butler. I mean, who couldnt love him?Gloria : Stupid dog.OPENING CREDIT

10、SCameron : Okay, ready to go.Mitchell : Oh, make sure you pee first.Cameron : What am I, 7 years old?Mitchell : No, you do not want to go during the show. The marionettes stop what theyre doing, March to the edge of the stage, and point at you.Cameron : Okay, that sounds terrifying.Mitchell : Its re

11、ally funny.Mitchell : Oh, one of my favorite childhood memories Was attending the moscow marionette theater.Cameron : I grew up one mile away from Missouris largest water slide, and third-largest in the country.Mitchell : Oh, really? Cam, you never mentioned that before.Cameron : You feel.Mitchell :

12、 .Feel like a torpedo.Mitchell : Hey, Cam, does the gardener usually work on Saturdays?Cameron : I dont know. He comes when we need him. Hes like batman, but straight. Is he crying?Mitchell : Oh, yeah. We should probably. Probably go out the back, huh?Cameron : Hes clearly in pain. How can you just

13、turn your back on a friend like that?Mitchell : A friend? Really? Yeah. W-whats his name?Cameron : Cesar sal.Azar.Mitchell : You made that up. You were gonna say caesar salad.Cameron : Was not.Mitchell : Cam. Come on. Really? ugh. All right, dont worry, Lily. Im sure well get to the show on time. Im

14、 sure dad is just gonna go out and give an encouraging word to the gardener, Hopefully mention the snail problem, And then we are gonna be. No. No, no. Cam, no. Hello.Cameron : I dont think he speaks English.Mitchell : Okay, this might be a good time to mention to you that the marionettes are not ki

15、nd to latecomers. They bend over and show their bloomers.Cameron : Okay, I speak a little Spanish. seor, te gustara hacer el agua y tenemos nuestra cama?Cesar : Gracias.Mitchell : What was that?Cameron : I just asked him if he wanted to have a glass of water and sit down for a minute, Like any kind

16、person would.Claire : I didnt find any more porn.Phil : That was hardly porn. It was a topless woman on a tractor. You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial.Claire : I should go talk to him.Phil : Honey, honey, honey, I got this! I got this! No, no, no, no, no. I-I got this. I got

17、this. I was his age once. Breasts are like these scary mystical things that hes drawn to, like Frodo to Mordor.Claire : Okay, Im definitely going to talk to him.Phil : No, no, no, no! Boys dont want their moms talking to them about sex any more than girls want their dads talking to them about period

18、s, bras, and girdles and all that stuff.Claire : You do know that women stopped wearing girdles like 30 years ago, right?Phil : Honey, I know. I know. That. that is. that is exactly the kind of sexual revolution That our son is going through right now, So. Just. lets just. just trust it. Fix that st

19、ep. Just know I will handle this, okay?Gloria : Del Diablo!Jay : Hey, Gloria, do you have any idea why Barkley was in the guest room?Gloria : I was just doing a little redecorating. Sometimes its good to move things around just to see how they look.Jay : Yeah, but the guest room. thats crazy. Hes no

20、t a guest. He works for us. Hey, give me a hand here, will you? I think his jacket shifted while I was moving him. We cant have you untucked, our little butler. That doesnt make any sense, does it, boy?Gloria : ay!Jay : ay? What was that? Is he all right?Gloria : Ay, no. My bracelet got caught a lit

21、tle bit here.Jay : Well, dont panic.Gloria : Im not panicking.Jay : All right, try to relax. We can fix him. Let me take a better look. Come here, boy.Phil : Luke?Luke: Hey, dad. Hey, buddy.Phil : Um.Look, You and I need to have a little talk.Luke : About what?Phil : Well, its about computer stuff.

22、Um. How do you make sure youve deleted something after you read it?Gloria : Sorry, Jay. It was an accident.Jay : You know, Im beginning to think you dont like Barkley that much. I mean, first you hide him in the guest room, And now this.Gloria : Its ridiculous! I didnt mean to hurt it!Jay : First of

23、 all, lets cut the its. He is a he. And you can pretend to be innocent all you want, but action speaks louder than words.Gloria : Yeah. They can be very revealing.Jay : What are you trying to say?Gloria : Nothing, but you have to admit that the dog butler is a little ridiculous.Jay : You know what e

24、lse I think is ridiculous? That mountain of pillows you have on our bed. I feel like Im working on a loading dock just trying to get under the covers.Gloria : Theyre pretty.Jay : Theyre a damn nuisance.Gloria : Okay, forgive me for trying to make our home beautiful.Jay : Well, you know, if I can put

25、 up with those, you can put up with a piece of art.Gloria : This is not art. Its an unholy mix between man and beast. But fine. If you love it so much, put it wherever you want.Jay : Thank you. Where you going, to get some more pillows?Gloria : No, dont worry. Itll be a long time before I bother you

26、 again with my pillows.Alex : Why is dad in Lukes room with the door closed?Claire : They are having a little talk.Alex : Is Luke being punished?Claire : Is that your favorite thing, When your brother or sister gets into trouble?Alex : My favorite is when theyre both in trouble. So, whatd he do? Did

27、 he cheat on a test? Hes a cheater.Claire : He did not cheat on a test.Alex: Did he lie?Claire : Alex.Alex : He lies all the time.Claire : Alex.Alex : Sorry. Im. Im just worried about Luke. A lot of parents are hitting again.Claire : I appreciate your concern, But your father has it under control.Ph

28、il : 24. 25. Flincher! Free slap. Bring it up.Luke : Ow!Phil : 29.Luke : Can be on the bottom now?Phil : Yeah.Claire : Mm. Howd it go?Phil : Well, he was really embarrassed, but everythings. everythings fine now.Claire : Whatd you say?Phil : Well, you know, I kind of promised him Wed keep everything

29、 between us. Mm-hmm. Matter of fact, Hed be mortified if you brought it up with him. Ever.Claire : Oh, god. Really?Phil : Yeah.Claire : That actually makes me feel kind of bad.Phil : Well. Youre probably just feeling a little tense from all this. I know I am. You know what might help the situation?C

30、laire : Really? Right now?Phil : I meant going out for a few pizzas. Wheres your mind? I guess I live in a house full of sex maniacs.Cameron : Amigo? We cant help you if you wont come out.Cesar : Gracias por invitarme a su casa. Me averguenzo de mis lgrimas.Mitchell : Whatd he say?Cameron : Somethin

31、g. House. Something.Mitchell : Oh, come on! The show starts in a half-hour, and we still have to pick up Manny. Can. can we just. Come on, move this thing along.Cameron : Okay, this man is in crisis. He could have a family-health issue or a personal-health issue or a financial matter.Mitchell : Okay, wait, stop. Youre getting all this from something house something? Lets just call Gloria and have her deal with it, okay?Cameron : it is a human being, Mitchell!Mitchell : Named caesar salad.Cameron : Okay, wha