Becoming Jane script.docx

Becoming Jane script.docx

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BecomingJanescript

BecomingJanescript

"vigorouslyassaulted...

"...proprietywere..."

"Theboundariesofproprietywerevigorouslyassaulted.

"Theboundariesofproprietywerevigorouslyassaulted,aswasonlyright,

"butnotquitebreached,aswasalsoright.

"Nevertheless,

"shewasnotpleased."

-Whatisit?

-Jane.

Jane!

Oh,dearme.

Thatgirlneedsahusband.

Andwho'sgoodenough?

Nobody.

Iblameyouforthat.

Beingtoomuchthemodelofperfection.

I'vesharedyourbedfor32years

andperfectionissomethingIhavenotencountered.

Yet.

No.Stopit.MrAusten,

it'sSunday!

Stop,no,it's...

Theutmostofawoman'scharacterisexpressedinthedutiesofdaughter,

sisterand,eventually,wifeandmother.

Itissecuredbysoftattraction,

virtuousloveandquietintheearlymorning.

Ifawomanhappenstohaveaparticularsuperiority,

forexample,aprofoundmind,itisbestkeptaprofoundsecret.

Humourislikedmore,butwit?

No.

Itisthemosttreacheroustalentofthemall.

Now,George,oldfellow,youknowyouhavetostay.

-Jenny!

-George,George.

Hurryalong,Jane!

We'llbelate!

WhenHerLadyshipcalls,wemustobey.

Comealong,Jane.

LadyGresham,mayIintroducemyniece

ComtesseDeFeuillide

andMrFowle,Cassandra'sfiance.

Comtesse?

ThenyoupresumetobeFrench?

Bymarriage.

MonsieurleComteisnotheretopayhisrespects?

Apriorengagement,ma'am,

MonsieurleComtewasobligedtopayhisrespectsto

MadameleGuillotine.

Iseeyournephewiswithusagain.

MrWisley.

Wisleyisindispensabletomyhappiness.

Well,dositdown.

MrFowleandCassandraareonlyrecentlyengaged.

Whenshallyoumarry?

-Notforsometime,YourLadyship.-Whynot?

I'malsoengagedtogototheWestIndies

withLordCraven'sexpeditionagainsttheFrench,aschaplain.

WhathasCravenofferedyou?

I'vehopesofaparishonmyreturn.

Howmuchisitworth?

Enoughtomarryon,inamodestway.

MrWisley,didyouknowtheBasingstokeassembliesresume?

Verysoon,Ibelieve.

Janedoesenjoyaball.

Wisleycan'tabidethem.

But,sir,

aballisanindispensableblessingtothejuvenilepartoftheneighbourhood.

Everythingagreeableinthewayoftalkingandsittingdowntogether

allmanagedwiththeutmostdecorum.

Anamiablemancouldnotobject.

ThenIfindI'mconverted.

Displayedlikeabroodmare.

-MrWisleyisahighlyeligibleyounggentleman.-Oh,Mother!

-Youknowoursituation,Jane.-Oh!

AndheisLadyGresham'sfavouritenephewandheir.

Oneday,heshallinheritthis.

Excellentprospects!

Hissmallfortunewillnotbuyme.

Whatwillbuyyou,cousin?

It'snotfinishedyet.

Morewaryintheworld,MrLefroy.

Youcanpaymeforthatlater.

Comeon,MrLefroy.

Comeon,man,hithim!

Lefroy!

-WOMAN:

Glassofwinewithyou,sir?

-Madam.

-Displayingtoadvantage,Isee,Lefroy.Likethesword,Austen.

Howlongbeforeyouhavetogetbacktothesticks?

Aday.

Sosoon?

Doghouse,debts,butonemustcutsomesortof

afigureeveninthemilitia.

Especiallywhencondemnedtoaparsonage,myfriend.

Yes.

Still,whoisthissour-facedlittlevirgin?

Yourpardon,ma'am.

MrTomLefroy,mayIpresentMrJohnWarren?

JoiningmeinHampshire,myfatherispreparingusbothforholyorders.

Iunderstandyou'vevisitedHampshire,MrLefroy.

Lastyear.

Longvisit,wasit?

Verylong,MrWarren.Almostthreehours.

MrAusten,you'redevilishlyhandsome.Akiss,akiss.

So,Tom,whereshouldwego?

VauxhallGardens?

Beenthere.

Lefroy,there'saTahitianLoveFestonatWhite's.

Seenit.

-Crockford's?

-Crockford's?

Donethat.

Ordiditdome?

Wh-wh-wh-whatisaTahitianLoveFest?

Warren!

Ihumblybegyourpardon,sir.

Theftofonepigisacrime,heinoustobesure,

buttwopigs...

Twopigsisaviolentassaultontheverysanctityofprivatepropertyitself.

Youandyourkindareacankeronthebodysocial.

Andcankersarecutout.

Transportationforlife.Next.

-WhyareyouhereinLondon,sir?

-Tolearnthelaw.

-Whichhasnootherendbutwhat?

-Thepreservationoftherightsofproperty.

-Against?

-Themob.

Therefore,orderiskept

becausewehave...

-Astandingarmy?

-Goodmanners,sir,andprudence.

-Doyouknowthatword?

Prudence?

-Yes.

Considermyself.

Iwasbornrich,certainly,

butIremainrichbyvirtueofexceptionalconduct.

Ihaveshownrestraint.

Yourmother,mysister,

becamepoorbecauseshedidnot...

Shemarriedmyfatherbecauseshelovedhim.

Yes,andthat'swhyyouhavesomanybrothers

andsistersbacktherein...

Limerick.

Ifyouhope,Isayhope...

Ifyouaspiretoinheritmyproperty,

youmustproveyourselfmoreworthy.

Butwhatdowefind?

Wefinddissipation

wildenoughtogluttheimaginingsofaHottentotbraggadocio.

Wildcompanions,gambling,

runningaroundStJames's

likeaneck-or-nothingyoungbloodofthefancy.

-Whatkindoflawyerwillthatmake?

-Typical.

Humour?

Well,you'regoingtoneedthatbecauseI'mteachingyoualesson.

I'msendingyoutostaywithyourotherrelations,theLefroys.

-Uncle,theyliveinthecountry.-Deepinthecountry.

Jane?

Canyou?

Thankyou.

IthinkyoutwoquitetheprettiestsistersinEngland.

MrFowlewillbeenchanted.

SanDomingoishalfaworldaway.

He'llforgetme.

Impossible.Lookatthememoryyou'regivinghimtonight.

Cassie.

Hisheartwillstopattheverysightofyou

orhedoesn'tdeservetolive.

And,yes,I'mawareofthecontradictionembodiedinthatsentence.

Isit?

Jane!

Henry!

Youlookwonderful.

Well,hello,John.It'sverygoodtoseeyou.

-Nicetoseeyou.-Oh,John!

George!

Leaveyourbrotheralone.

Jane!

Jane?

Haveyouheard?

Myfather'snephewisstayingwithus.

FromLondon.

-Heisa...-Abrilliantyounglawyer.

-Lucy,please.-Withareputation.

Forlateness?

Hatoff,George.Hatoff,Father'sready.

-Thankyou,John.-Please.

Thefamilyisalwaysmoving

ingreatwaysandsmall.

Firstly,thesmall.HenryisbackfromOxfordwithhisdegree,

-thankgoodness.-Welldone.

AndourfriendJohn,

mynewstudent.Thenthegreat.

Cassandra,whoisforsakingusforherbrotherEdwardandhisfamilyatthecoast

whilstRobertvoyagestotheWestIndieswithLordCraven'sexpedition.

Andthen,together,theycanembark

onthatmostgreatandmostseriousjourneyoflife.

MissAusten,Iunderstandyouwillbe

favouringuswithareading?

-Do,Jane.-Do.

-Oh,please,MissJane.-Oh,yes,Jane,do.

Please,Jane.

"AdvicefromayoungladyontheengagementofherbelovedsisterCassandra

"toaFowle."

"Hisaddresseswereofferedinamannerviolentenoughtobeflattering.

"Theboundariesofproprietywerevigorouslyassaulted,aswasonlyright,

"butnotquitebreached,aswasalsoright.

"Nevertheless,shewas..."

AndmayIintroducemyyoungnephewMrThomasLefroy?

Andhe'smorethanwelcome.Joinus,sir,joinus.

Greenvelvetcoat.Vastlyfashionable.

You'llfindthisvastlyamusing.

"Hisaddresseswere...

"Theboundariesofproprietywerevigorouslyassaulted,

"aswasonlyright,butnotquitebreached,aswasalsoright.

"Nevertheless,shewasnotpleased.

"Hertastewasrefined,hersentimentsnoble,

herpersonlovely,herfigureelegant."

GoodGod,there'swritingonbothsidesofthosepages.

Shh.Damnit,man.

"'ItwasonlyyesterdayIrepelledLordGrahamandhissixmillion,

"'whichwouldhavelastedmealmostatwelvemonth,

"'witheconomies...'

"'greaterthanallthejewelsinIndia,anadoringheart."'

God!

"'Andpray,madam,whatamItoexpectinreturn?

'

"'Expect?

Well,youmayexpecttohavemepleasedfromtimetotime."'

IsthiswhoIam?

"Andasweet,gentle,pleading,innocent,

"delicate,sympathetic,loyal,

untutored,adoringfemaleheart."

Theend.

-Bravo,Jane.-Welldone,Jane.

Bravo.

Welldone.

Well,excessivelycharming,Ithought.

Well,accomplishedenough,perhaps,

butametropolitanmindmaybelesssusceptibletoextended,juvenileself-regard.

REVERENDAUSTEN:

Well,thankyou.We'rebothveryproud.

#Inairydreams

#...absentlovetosee

#Dearyou,oh,tothink

#Onthee#

MRLEFROY:

Carefulthere,oldfellow.

TOM:

Finepiece,MrLefroy.

Handledagunbefore,haveyou,Tom?

Tom!

Jesus!

-Tom.-Uncle?

Whynottryawalk?

There'ssomeveryfinecountryroundabout.Veryfine.

Awalk.

Miss!

Miss!

Miss!

Miss!

Miss,I...

Miss?

Miss?

-Miss...-Austen.

MrLefroy.

Yes,Iknow,butIamalone.

-Exceptforme.-Exactly.

Oh,come!

Whatrulesofconductapplyinthisruralsituation?

Wehavebeenintroduced,havewenot?

Whatvalueisthereinanintroductionwhenyoucannotevenremembermyname?

Indeed,canbarelystayawakeinmypresence.

Madam.

Thesescruplesmustseemveryprovincialtoagentlemanwithsuchelevatedairs,

butIdonotdevisetheserules.Iammerelyobligedtoobeythem.

Ihavebeentoldthereismuchtoseeuponawalk

butallI'vedetectedsofarisageneraltendencytogreenaboveandbrownbelow.

Yes,well,othershavedetectedmore.Itiscelebrated.

-There'sevenabookaboutSelborneWood.-Oh.

Anovel,perhaps?

Novels?

Beingpoor,insipidthings,readbymerewomen,

even,Godforbid,writtenbymerewomen?

Isee,we'retalkingofyourreading.

Asifthewritingofwomendidnotdisplaythegreatestpowersofmind,

knowledgeofhumannature,theliveliesteffusionsofwitandhumour

andthebest-chosenlanguageimaginable?

-WasIdeficientinrapture?

-Inconsciousness.

Itwas...

Itwasaccomplishe