THE HOUSE ON MANGO STREET 04.docx

THE HOUSE ON MANGO STREET 04.docx

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THEHOUSEONMANGOSTREET04

22PapaWhoWakesUpTiredintheDark

Yourabuelitoisdead,Papasaysearlyonemorninginmyroom.Estámuerto,andthenasifhejustheardthenewshimself,crumpleslikeacoatandcries,mybravePapacries.IhaveneverseenmyPapacryanddon'tknowwhattodo.

Iknowhewillhavetogoaway,thathewilltakeaplanetoMexico,alltheunclesandauntswillbethere,andtheywillhaveablack-and-whitephototakeninfrontofthetombwithflowersshapedlikespearsinawhitevasebecausethisishowtheysendthedeadawayinthatcountry.

BecauseIamtheoldest,myfatherhastoldmefirst,andnowitismyturntotelltheothers.Iwillhavetoexplainwhywecan'tplay.Iwillhavetotellthemtobequiettoday.

MyPapa,histhickhandsandthickshoes,whowakesuptiredinthedark,whocombshishairwithwater,drinkshiscoffee,andisgonebeforewewake,todayissittingonmybed.

AndIthinkifmyownPapadiedwhatwouldIdo.IholdmyPapainmyarms.Iholdandholdandholdhim.

23BornBad

MostlikelyIwillgotohellandmostlikelyIdeservetobethere.MymothersaysIwasbornonanevildayandpraysforme.LucyandRachelpraytoo.Forourselvesandforeachother...becauseofwhatwedidtoAuntLupe.

HernamewasGuadalupeandshewasprettylikemymother.Dark.Goodtolookat.InherJoanCrawforddressandswimmer'slegs.AuntLupeofthephotographs.

ButIknewhersickfromthediseasethatwouldnotgo,herlegsbunchedundertheyellowsheets,thebonesgonelimpasworms.Theyellowpillow,theyellowsmell,thebottlesandspoons.Herheadthrownbacklikeathirstylady.Myaunt,theswimmer.

Hardtoimagineherlegsoncestrong,theboneshardandpartingwater,cleansharpstrokes,notbentandwrinkledlikeababy,notdrowningunderthestickyyellowlight.Second-floorrearapartment.

Thenakedlightbulb.Thehighceilings.Thelightbulbalwaysburning.

Idon'tknowwhodecideswhodeservestogobad.Therewasnoevilinherbirth.Nowickedcurse.

OnedayIbelieveshewasswimming,andthenextdayshewassick.Itmighthavebeenthedaythatgrayphotographwastaken.ItmighthavebeenthedayshewasholdingcousinTotchyandbabyFrank.Itmighthavebeenthemomentshepointedtothecameraforthekidstolookandtheywouldn't.

Maybetheskydidn'tlookthedayshefelldown.MaybeGodwasbusy.Itcouldbetrueshedidn'tdiverightonedayandhurtherspine.Ormaybethestorythatshefellveryhardfromahighstepstool,likeTotchysaid,istrue.

ButIthinkdiseaseshavenoeyes.Theypickwithadizzyfingeranyone,justanyone.LikemyauntwhohappenedtobewalkingdownthestreetonedayinherJoanCrawforddress,inherfunnyfelthatwiththeblackfeather,cousinTotchyinonehand,babyFrankintheother.

Sometimesyougetusedtothesickandsometimesthesickness,ifitistheretoolong,getstoseemnormal.Thisishowitwaswithher,andmaybethisiswhywechoseher.

Itwasagame,that'sall.Itwasthegameweplayedeveryafternooneversincethatdayoneofusinventedit—Ican'trememberwho—Ithinkitwasme.

Youhadtopicksomebody.Youhadtothinkofsomeoneeverybodyknew.Someoneyoucouldimitateandeveryoneelsewouldhavetoguesswhoitwas.Itstartedoutwithfamouspeople:

WonderWoman,theBeatles,MarilynMonroe....Butthensomebodythoughtit'dbebetterifwechangedthegamealittle,ifwepretendedwewereMr.Benny,orhiswifeBlanca,orRuthie,oranybodyweknew.

Idon'tknowwhywepickedher.Maybewewereboredthatday.Maybewegottired.Welikedmyaunt.Shelistenedtoourstories.Shealwaysaskedustocomeback.Lucy,me,Rachel.Ihatedtogotherealone.Thesixblockstothedarkapartment,second-floorrearbuildingwheresunlightnevercame,andwhatdiditmatter?

Myauntwasblindbythen.Sheneversawthedirtydishesinthesink.Shecouldn'tseetheceilingsdustywithflies,theuglymaroonwalls,thebottlesandstickyspoons.Ican'tforgetthesmell.Likestickycapsulesfilledwithjelly.Myaunt,alittleoyster,alittlepieceofmeatonanopenshellforustolookat.Hello,hello.Asifshehadfallenintoawell.

Itookmylibrarybookstoherhouse.Ireadherstories.IlikedthebookTheWaterbabies.Shelikedittoo.IneverknewhowsickshewasuntilthatdayItriedtoshowheroneofthepicturesinthebook,abeautifulcolorpictureofthewaterbabiesswimminginthesea.Iheldthebookuptoherface.

Ican'tseeit,shesaid,I'mblind.AndthenIwasashamed.

Shelistenedtoeverybook,everypoemIreadher.OnedayIreadheroneofmyown.Icameveryclose.Iwhispereditintothepillow:

Iwanttobelikethewavesonthesea,likethecloudsinthewind,butI'mme.OnedayI'lljumpoutofmyskin.I'llshaketheskylikeahundredviolins.

That'snice.That'sverygood,shesaidinhertiredvoice.Youjustremembertokeepwriting,Esperanza.Youmustkeepwriting.Itwillkeepyoufree,andIsaidyes,butatthattimeIdidn'tknowwhatshemeant.

Thedayweplayedthegame,wedidn'tknowshewasgoingtodie.Wepretendedwithourheadsthrownback,ourarmslimpanduseless,danglinglikethedead.Welaughedthewayshedid.Wetalkedthewayshetalked,thewayblindpeopletalkwithoutmovingtheirhead.Weimitatedthewayyouhadtoliftherheadalittlesoshecoulddrinkwater,shesuckeditupslowoutofagreentincup.Thewaterwaswarmandtastedlikemetal.Lucylaughed.Racheltoo.Wetookturnsbeingher.WescreamedintheweakvoiceofaparrotforTotchytocomeandwashthosedishes.Itwaseasy.

Wedidn'tknow.Shehadbeendyingsuchalongtime,weforgot.Maybeshewasashamed.Maybeshewasembarrassedittooksomanyyears.Thekidswhowantedtobekidsinsteadofwashingdishesandironingtheirpapa'sshirts,andthehusbandwhowantedawifeagain.

Andthenshedied,myauntwholistenedtomypoems.

Andthenwebegantodreamthedreams.

24Elenita,Cards,Palm,Water

Elenita,witchwoman,wipesthetablewitharagbecauseErniewhoisfeedingthebabyspilledKool-Aid.Shesays:

TakethatcrazybabyoutofhereanddrinkyourKool-Aidinthelivingroom.Can'tyouseeI'mbusy?

ErnietakesthebabyintothelivingroomwhereBugsBunnyisonTV.

Goodluckyyoudidn'tcomeyesterday,shesays.Theplanetswereallmixedupyesterday.

HerTViscolorandbigandallherprettyfurnituremadeoutofredfurliketheteddybearstheygiveawayincarnivals.Shehasthemcoveredwithplastic.Ithinkthisisonaccountofthebaby.

Yes,it'sagoodthing,Isay.

Butwestayinthekitchenbecausethisiswheresheworks.Thetopoftherefrigeratorbusywithholycandles,somelit,somenot,redandgreenandblue,aplastersaintandadustyPalmSundaycross,andapictureofthevoodoohandtapedtothewall.

Getthewater,shesays.

Igotothesinkandpicktheonlycleanglassthere,abeermugthatsaysthebeerthatmadeMilwaukeefamous,andfillitupwithhotwaterfromthetap,thenputtheglassofwateronthecenterofthetable,thewayshetaughtme.

Lookinit,doyouseeanything?

ButallIseearebubbles.

Youseeanybody'sface?

Nope,justbubbles,Isay.

That'sokay,andshemakesthesignofthecrossoverthewaterthreetimesandthenbeginstocutthecards.

They'renotlikeordinaryplayingcards,thesecards.They'restrange,withblondmenonhorsesandcrazybaseballbatswiththorns.Goldengoblets,sad-lookingwomendressedinold-fashioneddresses,androsesthatcry.

ThereisagoodBugsBunnycartoononTV.Iknow,IsawitbeforeandrecognizethemusicandwishIcouldgositontheplasticcouchwithErnieandthebaby,butnowmyfortunebegins.Mywholelifeonthatkitchentable:

past,present,future.Thenshetakesmyhandandlooksintomypalm.Closesit.Closeshereyestoo.

Doyoufeelit,feelthecold?

Yes,Ilie,butonlyalittle.

Good,shesays,losespíritusarehere.Andbegins.

Thiscard,theonewiththedarkmanonadarkhorse,thismeansjealousy,andthisone,sorrow.

Hereapillarofbeesandthisamattressofluxury.Youwillgotoaweddingsoonanddidyouloseananchorofarms,yes,ananchorofarms?

It'sclearthat'swhatthatmeans.

Whataboutahouse,Isay,becausethat'swhatIcamefor.

Ah,yes,ahomeintheheart.Iseeahomeintheheart.

Isthatit?

That'swhatIsee,shesays,thengetsupbecausethekidsarefighting.Elenitagetsuptohitandthenhugthem.Shereallydoeslovethem,onlysometimestheyarerude.

ShecomesbackandcantellI'mdisappointed.She'sawitchwomanandknowsmanythings.Ifyougotaheadache,rubacoldeggacrossyourface.Needtoforgetanoldromance?

Takeachicken'sfoot,tieitwithredstring,spinitoveryourheadthreetimes,thenburnit.Badspiritskeepingyouawake?

Sleepnexttoaholycandleforsevendays,thenontheeighthday,spit.Andlotsofotherstuff.OnlynowshecantellI'msad.

Baby,I'lllookagainifyouwantmeto.Andshelooksagainintothecards,palm,water,andsaysuh-huh.

Ahomeintheheart,Iwasright.

OnlyIdon'tgetit.

Anewhouse,ahousemadeofheart.I'lllightacandleforyou.

AllthisforfivedollarsIgiveher.

Thankyouandgoodbyeandbecarefuloftheevileye.ComebackagainonaThursdaywhenthestarsarestronger.AndmaytheVirginblessyou.Andshutsthedoor.

25GeraldoNoLastName

Shemethimatadance.Prettytoo,andyoung.Saidheworkedinarestaurant,butshecan'trememberwhichone.Geraldo.That'sall.Greenpantsand