chapter 2 effective beginnings and endings.docx

chapter 2 effective beginnings and endings.docx

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chapter2effectivebeginningsandendings

Lastyearyourcompany’stotalsaleswere$117,400,000,whichwasslightlyhigherthanthe$9,800,000totalfortheyearbefore.Afterdeductingforallexpenses,wehad$4,593,000leftoverforprofits,comparedwith$2,830,000for1999.Becauseoftheseincreasedprofits,wewereabletoincreaseyourannualdividendpaymentspershareofthe50centspaidoverthelast10years.

Thecorporation’sinvestmentsandadvancesinthreeunconsolidatedsubsidiaries（allinthedevelopmentstage）andin50percent-ownedcompanieswas$42,200,000onDecember31,1997,andtheexcessoftheinvestmentsincertaincompaniesovernetassetsvalueatdatesofacquisitionwas$1,760,000.Thecorporation’sequityinthenetassetsasofDecember31,1999,was$41,800,000andintheresultsofoperationsfortheyearsendedDecember31,1999and1998,was$1,350,000and$887,500.Dividedincomewas$750,000and$388,000fortheyears1999and1997,respectively.

7Cs：

consideration，courtesy,clarity,conciseness,concreteness,correctness,completeness

Consideration:

Iwritetosendmycongratulations!

Congratulationstoyouonyourpromotion!

Wewon’tbeabletosendyouthebrochurethismonth.

Wewillsendyouthebrochurenextmonth.

WeareshippingyourorderofSeptember24thisafternoon.

2000setsofAirConditionersyouorderedwillbeshippedthisafternoonandshouldreachyoubySeptember29.

Courtesy:

YouhavefailedtoestablishtheL/CcoveringyourorderNo.234intime.

TheL/CcoveringyourorderNo.234hasn’treachedus.Pleasecheckitwithyourbank.

Yourletterisnotclearatall.Ican’tunderstandit.

IfIunderstandyourlettercorrectly,

Clarity:

AstothesteamerssailingfromShanghaitoSanFrancisco,wehavebimonthlydirectservices.

AstothesteamerssailingfromShanghaitoSanFrancisco,wehavetwodirectsailingseverymonth.

AstothesteamerssailingfromShanghaitoSanFrancisco,wehaveadirectsailingeverytwomonths.

TheL/Cmustreachusforarrangingshipmentnotlaterthan8October.

TheL/Cmustreachusnotlaterthan8Octoberforarrangingshipment.

TheyboughtabicycleinBeijinginasmallshopwhichcosts$25.00.

Theyboughtabicyclefor$25.00inasmallshopinBeijing.

Conciseness:

IntheeventthatyouspeaktoMr.Woodinregardtoproduction,askhimtogiveconsiderationtothedeliveryschedule.

IfyouspeaktoMr.Woodaboutproduction,askhimtoconsiderthedeliveryschedule.

Itshouldbenotedthatthisisthebestwecando.

Foryourinformationweencloseacatalogue.

Pleasebeadvisedthatwehavereceivedyourinvoice.

Reyourletterof21stinst.,inconnectionwithouraccount,weareremittingourcheckherewith,asperyourrequest,intheamountof$100.00.

Asrequestedinyourletterof21June,weareenclosingourcheckfor$100.00.

Wehavebeguntoexportourmachinestocountriesabroad.

Concreteness:

Thesebrakescanstopacarwithinashortdistance.

TheseGoodsonpowerbrakescanstopa2-toncarwithin24feet.

Pleaseshipthegoodsassoonaspossible.

PleaseshipthegoodsbeforeSeptember4,2012bydirectsailing.

AdecisionhasbeenmadetosetupanofficeinOsaka.

TheboardofdirectorsdecidedtosetupanofficeinOsaka.

Variousaspectsofthisequipmentmakeitagoodchoice.

Thismachineisagoodchoicebecauseitismorecompactandlessexpensivethananyotheroneonthemarket.

Correctness:

Thetwofirst（firsttwo）itemsarenotavailable.

Thepriceofourproductis$100permetrictonCIFSingapore.

ThepriceofourproductisUS$100permetrictonCIFSingapore.

Itisoneofthemachinesthatweredeliveredlastweek.

Writeeffectivebeginningsandendings

Theopeningsentenceorparagraphisimportantbecauseitmakesthefirstimpressiononthereceiver.Aneffectiveopeningthereforeiscrucialtothesuccessofabusinessletter.

1.Theopeningsentenceisusuallyintroductory.Tocaptureareader’sinterestitisbesttotellinthefirstsentencewhatinducedyoutowritetheletterandwhatareyourobjectives.

Weunderstandthatyouareexportersofnuts&kernelsandshouldliketoknowifyoucansupplyuswith5tonswalnutmeatbytheendofOctober.

WereadwithinterestyouradvertisementintheChinaDailyandshouldbegladtoreceiveparticularsofyourtenderforportconstruction.

2.Puttheideawhichwillmostinterestthereaderintotheopeningsentence.

I’mpleasedtotellyouthatyourorderwillbedeliveredtomorrow.

Thisistotellyouaboutourshippingproblems.

Wearepleasedtotellyouthatyourorder167wasdispatchedyesterday.

3.Theopeningsentenceoftenreferstoapreviousletter.Butreferencetothedatealonewillnotmakeagoodbeginning.Thebusinessathandshouldbementionedimmediately.

ThisisinreplytoyourletterofJune5.

Thankyouforyourinterestinourelectricheaters,expressedinyourletterofJune5.

Endings

Theclosingsentenceorparagraphisfrequentlyusedtosumupwhathasbeensaidandtosignaltheactionthewriterhopeswillfollowtheletter.

1.Theendingshouldbespecific.Refertosomethingspecificwhichhasbeenmentionedintheletter.Donotusetimewornexpressionsandparticipialendingslike:

Hopingtohearfromyouatyourearliestconvenience.

Weshouldbepleasedifyouwouldrespondtoourrequestatyourearliestconvenience.

Hopingtohearfromyouatyourearliestconvenience,weremain.

Pleasesendusyourillustratedcatalogueandpricelistsoon.

2.Stateyourrequestsforactionintheclosingsentence.

Wearesuretheseformswillenableyoutoobtainadmissiontotheschool.

PleasesendintheformsnotlaterthanFebruary5.

3.Theclosingsentenceisagoodplacetosummarize,especiallywhentheletterislongandcomplex.

Wehopethatwehavemadetheabovealternativecleartoyouandthattheymayhelpyoutomakeyourchoice.

Tosumup,youcaneitherputyourmoneyinasavingsbankandreceive6%annualinterest,orinvestincommonstocksforhigherreturnsbutalsohigherrisk.

Inviewoftheabove,youarerequestedtoincreasetheamountofyourL/CbyUS$150,makingatotalofUS$2,638,andalsotoextendthetimeofshipmentto21stDecember.Yourpromptattentiontothismatterwillbeappreciated.

Reviseandimprovethefollowingsentences.

1.Thecontractisvalidforoneyear,andallthegoodsmustbedeliveredbeforethecontractterminate.

2.Theshipwaslostinanaccident,thecargoownerwascompensated.

3.ArbitrationwillstartonSeptember8,andwehaveeightdaystogetthedocumentsready.

4.Thecontractclausedoesnotgivethebuyerfullprotection,andthismakesitmoredifficultforhimtolodgeaclaim.

5.OurcontractprovidesthatdeliverymustbemadebytheendoftheyearanditisalreadyDecember5,pleaseeffectshipmentsoon.

1.Intheeventthatthisdoesnotmeetwithyourapproval,pleasenotifyusastoyourwishes.

2.Duetotheabove-statedreasons,wedelayedpaymentofthesumof$566.

3.Effectuationofadecisionwillhavetobedelayedbymeuntilnextmonth.

1.WedecideinMelbournelastspringtocontinuethetalksatthisFair.

2.Delayingshipmentfrequentlygivesrisetoclaims.

3.WehavesomesuggestionsabouttheitemsthatarenotcoveredbytheAgreement.

4.Thepiece-goodswillbeabletocompletewiththelocalmaterialsbeingmanufacturedthere.

5.TheL/Cmustreachusforarrangingshipmentnotlaterthan8October.

1.Wepromptlyreplytoallenquiries.

2.I’mquitesurethatthisisexactlywhatisneeded.

3.Yourproposalsoundsinterestingandistobeconsidered.

Exercises

ⅠImprovethefollowingsentences.

1.WehavealreadyreceivedyourL/C,forwhichpleaseacceptourthanks.

2.Allowustostatethatwesincerelyhopeyouwillgiveyourcarefulconsiderationtoourproposals.

3.Iampleasedtotellyouapieceofgoodnews.After20yearsofserviceyouarerewardedbybeingappointedthemanagingdirector.Congratulations!

4.Pleasedon’thesitatetogetintouchwithusincaseyouhaveanyquestions.

5.Referringtoyourcommunicationofrecentdate,weherebymakeyouanofferasfollows.

6.Effectuationofadecisionwillhavetobedelayedbymeuntilnextmonth.

7.WedecideinMelbournelastspringtocontinuethetalksatthisFair.

8.Heneedssomeonetohelphimpromotesalesbadly.

9.Wemustdenyyourrequestforsoleagency.

10.Demonstrationofthenewmachinescanbearrangedforthoseinterested.

11.Ifthischangeisdesired,itwouldbenecessarythattheattachedformbesignedanddated.

12.Thisdrawingisenclosingforyourapproval.

13.Inallprobability,wearelikelytosufferalossthisquarter.

14.Itisyourturntomakeanacquisitionofcompensation.

15.Inviewofyouareouroldcustomer,wepreparetogiveyouadiscountof5%.

ⅡChoosethebestopeningorclosing.

1.a.WereceivedyourletterofMay7.Hereisacopyofourpricelistyouaskedfor.

b.HereisourpricelistyouaskedforinyourletterofMay7.

c.Weencloseherewithacopyofourpricelistforwhichyouasked.

2.a.Wearewritingtoansweryourquestions.

b.Wesenttoyouthismorningourlatestcatalogueyourequestedinyourletterofyesterday.

c.WebegtostatethatyourletterofOctober3hasbeengivencarefulconsideration.

3.a.Hopingtobeabletokeepintouchwithyoufortheyearstocome,weremain.

b.Wehopetohavefrequentcontactswithyou.

c.Hopingtobeinfrequentcontactwithyouandassuringyouofourbestattention.

4.a.Pleasebeassuredofourbestattention.

b.Thankyouagain.

c.Onceagain,mayweexpressourappreciationtoyou.

ⅢOrganizethefollowingsentencesintoasensibleorderoranatur