30分满分作文大赏.docx

30分满分作文大赏.docx

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30分满分作文大赏

很多新托福考试的考友总是在感叹，这个世界上能拿到的好作文实在是太少了，其实很多时候不是这些作文少，而是很多考友没有努力去发掘这些作文。

这不是太傻论坛就有考友分享了自己的满分作文。

无老师第一时间转过来，推荐给各位考友！

拿这些满分作文都该做些什么呢？

1看整篇结构，要看一看这些作文的结构是怎么展开的。

要仔细的读一下，这些作文每一段的写作目的，到底是支持还是反对，以及哪几段支持，哪几段反对。

2看段落结构，要仔细分析在一段之中，每一句话所起到的作用。

到底是主题句，还是例证。

3看句型多样性，要仔细想想这些作文每一句话说话的分寸。

4比对自己的写法。

看每一句话的时候，脑中都要思考，这句话中文是什么意思，如果是我自己来写，我会怎么写！

并且在下一篇自己的作文中替换为这些用法。

5用词多样性和准确性。

6如果有需要的话，再背一下是最好的了，没有输入就没有输出吗！

比如：

Inthiscase,computerasarepresentativeofmoderntechnologyplaysanegativeroleinlearninginformation.

这句话，我们自己很有可能写的就是，Inthiscase,computerthatisaequipmentofmoderntechnologyhaveabadeffectinlearninginformation.

这里的差距就很十分明显了！

因此，当给你美的东西，还要有一双发现美的眼睛！

2011-8-2IndependentWriting

Doesmoderntechnologyhelpstudentslearnmoreinformationandlearnitmorequickly?

Marvelousasitlooksatfirstsight,moderntechnologydoesnothelpstudentslearninformationatagreaterspeedandwithhigherefficiencyinmostcases;oritcouldworktowardstheoppositedirectionwhichledstudentstolosetheirinitiativetolearnandexplore.

Firstofall,onepropertyofmoderntechnologyislatentlyharmfultoanylearningmind–itdistracts.Onethingwefeelaboutwhenwearesearchingforinformationonlineisthattheinternet,asanoutstandingexampleofmoderntechnologyandevenregardedastheinnovatorofeducation,providesuswithnotonlyrelevantresultstomakeuseof,butalsoexternallinkstoclick.MorethanonceIturnedonmycomputertocheckschoollibraryforresources,butendedupwatchingYoutubevideos.Inthiscase,computerasarepresentativeofmoderntechnologyplaysanegativeroleinlearninginformation.Wedoacquiremoreinformationwiththeconvenienttool,yetmostofthemareirrelevantandintheendprocrastinatingwouldlowerourlearning.

Also,studentswouldeasilybecomedisorientedinthehugeseaofinformation.Althoughmoderntechnologycouldequipuswitheasyaccesstoinformation,thehugeamountofresourceswouldactuallyleaveusdiscombobulated.Therefore,itisonlywepossessinformationmorequicklyratherthanwelearnitmorequickly.AnillustratingexampleismyexperiencewithaHKdigitallibrarywhichstoresalmostallthebooksIdesire.AtfirstIenjoyeddownloadingthemfromthedatabase,however,onemonthlaterIendedupwithhundredsofbooksstoredinmyhardwareyetnoneofthemfinishedoreverclicked.

Furthermore,moderntechnologygivesstudentsanillusionthatinformationandrealknowledgeiseasytolearn–justbyclickingmouseorwatchingvideos.Butinfactthisformsonlythefirststeptowardsusefulinformationandeffectivelearning,aslearningofanykindrequiresfullconcentrationandinteractivethinking,whicharealmostabsentinthepocessofpopulare-learningexperience.

Tosummarize,moderntechnologydoesnothelpstudentslearnmoreinformationandlearnitmorequickly,thoughitdoesmakeaccesstoinformationandresourcesmuchmoreeasily.Thepopulare-learningstilllackstheconcentration,depth,andinteractionthatarethehallmarkoftraditionalwaysofeducatingandlearning.

2011-8-10

TPOIndependentwriting：

我们生活的时代比父辈们年轻时生活的时代更好还是更坏？

Itseemsthatpeoplealwayshaveadesiretocompare:

amIprettierthanothers?

Arewelivinginabetterage?

Or,asthequestiongoes,isourlifeeasierandmoreenjoyablethanitwasseveraldecadesago?

Iwouldsayno,asIhavewitnessedthestruggleandparadoxofourgeneration.

Firstofall,wearenowlivinginanageofrevolutionwithnoprevioushumanexperiencethatcouldbereferredto.Livinginsuchafast-changingworldwouldnotbeeasyandcomfortableatall;witheverythingkeepschanging,everyonehastomovefastinordertocatchupwiththemajority.However,peopleweremuchmorestableandcare-freewhenourgrandparentswerechildren;theydidnothavetolearnasecondlanguageinordertogetabetterjob,orreadalotinordertogetinformed.Yetinourage,thesearesupposedtobetheresponsibilityofyoungpeople.

Anotherdiscomfortofourageisthatweareexperiencinginterpersonalalienation.Withthedevelopmentofcommunicationtechnology,peopleinfactbecomealienatedwithfriendsandrelativessincetheycouldbesoeasilyaccessedviaphoneoremail.Toooftenwefeelthatfewofourfriendsaretruefriends,withoutthetraditionalfeelingofmutualaffectionwhichcouldonlybecreatedbylongtimeapart.Butseveraldecadesago,peopletreasuredtheirfriendsandmaintainedrelativelycloseinterpersonalrelations,whichismuchmoreenjoyablethantheestrangementsweareexperiencing.

Thelastfactorthathasmadeouragesouncomfortableistheabusiveuseoftechnology.Althoughitbringsmuchconvenience,itessentiallychangeshuman–wearenolongerthemasteroftools,butinsteadtheslavesofdevices.Werushtometrostationinordertocatchanearlytrain,sitinfrontofradioactivecomputersalldaylonginordertogetourworkdone,andstayinair-conditionedroomsallsummerwithoutexperiencingthenaturalchangesoutsidethickcementwalls.Severaldecadesago,peoplecouldstillliveclosertonatureandmakerationaluseofmoderntechnology,whichtomeistheessenceofhumanlivingexperience.

However,thecomparisonbetweendifferenttimesisitselfridiculous.Thecriteriacouldnotbeeasilydetermined,andopinionsarehighlypersonal.Anyway,wehavealongerlifespan,moreadvancedmedicalfacilities,andeasiertrafficthanourgrandparentwhentheywerechildren,andweshouldtreasurethepresentexperience.Imaginationofthepastmightonlybenostalgia–ifIaskmygrandparentsthesamequestion,theymightaswellsaythatourlifeismuchbetterthanthepastgenerations.Whoknows?

Aslongastheworldisstillpeaceful,lifeatanytimewouldnotbecometoodifficulttohandle.

2011/8/14

Independentwriting:

Mostadvertisementsmakeproductsmuchbetterthantheyreallyare.

Istronglyagreetothestatementthatmostadvertisementsmakestheproductspresentedmuchbetterthantheyreallyare,andpointsbelowsupportsmyidea.

Anessentialreasonconcernsthenatureofadvertising–advertisers,inmostcases,wouldonlymakeproductsseembetterthantheyreallyare,nottheotherwayaround.Sincetheultimateaimofadvertisingistopersuadepeopleintobuyingsomething,andpeoplewouldnatuallybeattractedbysomethingthatisdesirableratherthanrepellent,advertisementsarecertainlymadetodisplayamoreattractiveimageofproducts.Therefore,customerswouldfirstbegraviatedtowardsthevirtualproductthatissomewhatdishonestlypicturedbyadvertisers,thendesiretoownit,andeventuallypurchaseit.Inthisway,thedesireofconsumersissatisfied,thepurposeofproductionachieved,andtheadvertisingprocesscompleted.

Butthenormthata“good”productisadvertisedasa“better”oneisoftenchallengedorevenreversed–thatis,unscrupulousbusinessmenmakeuseofadvertisingtosellinferiorproducts,whichraisesamoralquestion.Forexample,mymotherwasonceattractedbyacommercialofaencyclopediawhichwasclaimedtobetheoneandonlycompleteversionofseveralancientChinesedocuments.Sherushedtotheshopandboughtthis“limitedversion”ataeye-poppingprice,andregardeditasoneofthemostpreciousthingsinourhouse.However,afewmonthslatershefoundthesameversionwassoldinbulkatanothershopatanunbelievablylowprice,whichannoyedherforquitealongtime.Wecanlearnfromtheexperiencethatweshouldnotalwaystrusttheadvertisementsthatareapparentlyexaggeratingproducts,andkeepalertintheswarmoftelevisioncommercials.

However,thenotionthat“advertisementalwaysmakeusdisappointed”sometimesresultsfromconsumers’unrealisticexpectationofproducts.Advertisingeasilymakespeopletoimagine“perfect”productswhicharenotrealisticatall,butconsumerswouldratherkeepthisunreasonablehope.Thentheywouldbeinevitablydisappointedbytheactualproductswhichcannotbesoperfect,andattributethecausetoadvertising.Butitisactuallytheunrealisticexpectationthateclipsesanyproduct,becauseaperfectimageisabsolutelysubjectiveandcouldnotevenberealized.Forexample,IoncesignedupforagrouptourtoLantaoIslandinHongKong,beingattractedbythebeautifullandscapepicturespostedintheadvertisements.ButlateroninthejourneyIwasdisappointedbecauseactualscenerywasneverasattractiveaswhatIhadexpectedtosee.Therefore,anunrealisticexpectationistobeavoidedinmakinganybuyingdecision.

Inconclusion,advertisementsdomakeproductsseemmuchbetterthantheyreallyare,asaresultofcommercialpropagandaandourunrealistichopeimposedonproducts.Abettersolutionwouldbethatbothconsumersandsellerskeepamorerealisticpointofview,andavoidunreasonablesellingorbuyingbehavior.

2011/8/15

Independentwriting:

Doestechnologymakechildrenlesscreativethaninthepast?

Areourkidsbecominglazierandlesscreative,lessimaginablethanbeforeasaconsequenceofhighlyadvancedtechnology?

Myanswerisno,andjusttheopposite,technologyhasapparentlyassistedourkidstobecomemorecreative.

Firstandforemost,technologyhasprovidedchildrenwitheasyaccesstoscientificandliberalartresourceswhichistheirbestsourceofinspiration.Forexample,childrencouldnoweasilygainaccesstoacademicdatabasesthroughiPadscreen,readclassicalworksonKindle,orwatchhistoricdocumentsonInternet.Thesegreatworksareessentiallyhelpfultoarousingtheircuriosityandpreparesthemwithkeyknowledgenecessaryforanycreation.However,thesewonderfulequipmentsandfaciliti