30分满分作文大赏.docx
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30分满分作文大赏
很多新托福考试的考友总是在感叹,这个世界上能拿到的好作文实在是太少了,其实很多时候不是这些作文少,而是很多考友没有努力去发掘这些作文。
这不是太傻论坛就有考友分享了自己的满分作文。
无老师第一时间转过来,推荐给各位考友!
拿这些满分作文都该做些什么呢?
1看整篇结构,要看一看这些作文的结构是怎么展开的。
要仔细的读一下,这些作文每一段的写作目的,到底是支持还是反对,以及哪几段支持,哪几段反对。
2看段落结构,要仔细分析在一段之中,每一句话所起到的作用。
到底是主题句,还是例证。
3看句型多样性,要仔细想想这些作文每一句话说话的分寸。
4比对自己的写法。
看每一句话的时候,脑中都要思考,这句话中文是什么意思,如果是我自己来写,我会怎么写!
并且在下一篇自己的作文中替换为这些用法。
5用词多样性和准确性。
6如果有需要的话,再背一下是最好的了,没有输入就没有输出吗!
比如:
Inthiscase,computerasarepresentativeofmoderntechnologyplaysanegativeroleinlearninginformation.
这句话,我们自己很有可能写的就是,Inthiscase,computerthatisaequipmentofmoderntechnologyhaveabadeffectinlearninginformation.
这里的差距就很十分明显了!
因此,当给你美的东西,还要有一双发现美的眼睛!
2011-8-2IndependentWriting
Doesmoderntechnologyhelpstudentslearnmoreinformationandlearnitmorequickly?
Marvelousasitlooksatfirstsight,moderntechnologydoesnothelpstudentslearninformationatagreaterspeedandwithhigherefficiencyinmostcases;oritcouldworktowardstheoppositedirectionwhichledstudentstolosetheirinitiativetolearnandexplore.
Firstofall,onepropertyofmoderntechnologyislatentlyharmfultoanylearningmind–itdistracts.Onethingwefeelaboutwhenwearesearchingforinformationonlineisthattheinternet,asanoutstandingexampleofmoderntechnologyandevenregardedastheinnovatorofeducation,providesuswithnotonlyrelevantresultstomakeuseof,butalsoexternallinkstoclick.MorethanonceIturnedonmycomputertocheckschoollibraryforresources,butendedupwatchingYoutubevideos.Inthiscase,computerasarepresentativeofmoderntechnologyplaysanegativeroleinlearninginformation.Wedoacquiremoreinformationwiththeconvenienttool,yetmostofthemareirrelevantandintheendprocrastinatingwouldlowerourlearning.
Also,studentswouldeasilybecomedisorientedinthehugeseaofinformation.Althoughmoderntechnologycouldequipuswitheasyaccesstoinformation,thehugeamountofresourceswouldactuallyleaveusdiscombobulated.Therefore,itisonlywepossessinformationmorequicklyratherthanwelearnitmorequickly.AnillustratingexampleismyexperiencewithaHKdigitallibrarywhichstoresalmostallthebooksIdesire.AtfirstIenjoyeddownloadingthemfromthedatabase,however,onemonthlaterIendedupwithhundredsofbooksstoredinmyhardwareyetnoneofthemfinishedoreverclicked.
Furthermore,moderntechnologygivesstudentsanillusionthatinformationandrealknowledgeiseasytolearn–justbyclickingmouseorwatchingvideos.Butinfactthisformsonlythefirststeptowardsusefulinformationandeffectivelearning,aslearningofanykindrequiresfullconcentrationandinteractivethinking,whicharealmostabsentinthepocessofpopulare-learningexperience.
Tosummarize,moderntechnologydoesnothelpstudentslearnmoreinformationandlearnitmorequickly,thoughitdoesmakeaccesstoinformationandresourcesmuchmoreeasily.Thepopulare-learningstilllackstheconcentration,depth,andinteractionthatarethehallmarkoftraditionalwaysofeducatingandlearning.
2011-8-10
TPOIndependentwriting:
我们生活的时代比父辈们年轻时生活的时代更好还是更坏?
Itseemsthatpeoplealwayshaveadesiretocompare:
amIprettierthanothers?
Arewelivinginabetterage?
Or,asthequestiongoes,isourlifeeasierandmoreenjoyablethanitwasseveraldecadesago?
Iwouldsayno,asIhavewitnessedthestruggleandparadoxofourgeneration.
Firstofall,wearenowlivinginanageofrevolutionwithnoprevioushumanexperiencethatcouldbereferredto.Livinginsuchafast-changingworldwouldnotbeeasyandcomfortableatall;witheverythingkeepschanging,everyonehastomovefastinordertocatchupwiththemajority.However,peopleweremuchmorestableandcare-freewhenourgrandparentswerechildren;theydidnothavetolearnasecondlanguageinordertogetabetterjob,orreadalotinordertogetinformed.Yetinourage,thesearesupposedtobetheresponsibilityofyoungpeople.
Anotherdiscomfortofourageisthatweareexperiencinginterpersonalalienation.Withthedevelopmentofcommunicationtechnology,peopleinfactbecomealienatedwithfriendsandrelativessincetheycouldbesoeasilyaccessedviaphoneoremail.Toooftenwefeelthatfewofourfriendsaretruefriends,withoutthetraditionalfeelingofmutualaffectionwhichcouldonlybecreatedbylongtimeapart.Butseveraldecadesago,peopletreasuredtheirfriendsandmaintainedrelativelycloseinterpersonalrelations,whichismuchmoreenjoyablethantheestrangementsweareexperiencing.
Thelastfactorthathasmadeouragesouncomfortableistheabusiveuseoftechnology.Althoughitbringsmuchconvenience,itessentiallychangeshuman–wearenolongerthemasteroftools,butinsteadtheslavesofdevices.Werushtometrostationinordertocatchanearlytrain,sitinfrontofradioactivecomputersalldaylonginordertogetourworkdone,andstayinair-conditionedroomsallsummerwithoutexperiencingthenaturalchangesoutsidethickcementwalls.Severaldecadesago,peoplecouldstillliveclosertonatureandmakerationaluseofmoderntechnology,whichtomeistheessenceofhumanlivingexperience.
However,thecomparisonbetweendifferenttimesisitselfridiculous.Thecriteriacouldnotbeeasilydetermined,andopinionsarehighlypersonal.Anyway,wehavealongerlifespan,moreadvancedmedicalfacilities,andeasiertrafficthanourgrandparentwhentheywerechildren,andweshouldtreasurethepresentexperience.Imaginationofthepastmightonlybenostalgia–ifIaskmygrandparentsthesamequestion,theymightaswellsaythatourlifeismuchbetterthanthepastgenerations.Whoknows?
Aslongastheworldisstillpeaceful,lifeatanytimewouldnotbecometoodifficulttohandle.
2011/8/14
Independentwriting:
Mostadvertisementsmakeproductsmuchbetterthantheyreallyare.
Istronglyagreetothestatementthatmostadvertisementsmakestheproductspresentedmuchbetterthantheyreallyare,andpointsbelowsupportsmyidea.
Anessentialreasonconcernsthenatureofadvertising–advertisers,inmostcases,wouldonlymakeproductsseembetterthantheyreallyare,nottheotherwayaround.Sincetheultimateaimofadvertisingistopersuadepeopleintobuyingsomething,andpeoplewouldnatuallybeattractedbysomethingthatisdesirableratherthanrepellent,advertisementsarecertainlymadetodisplayamoreattractiveimageofproducts.Therefore,customerswouldfirstbegraviatedtowardsthevirtualproductthatissomewhatdishonestlypicturedbyadvertisers,thendesiretoownit,andeventuallypurchaseit.Inthisway,thedesireofconsumersissatisfied,thepurposeofproductionachieved,andtheadvertisingprocesscompleted.
Butthenormthata“good”productisadvertisedasa“better”oneisoftenchallengedorevenreversed–thatis,unscrupulousbusinessmenmakeuseofadvertisingtosellinferiorproducts,whichraisesamoralquestion.Forexample,mymotherwasonceattractedbyacommercialofaencyclopediawhichwasclaimedtobetheoneandonlycompleteversionofseveralancientChinesedocuments.Sherushedtotheshopandboughtthis“limitedversion”ataeye-poppingprice,andregardeditasoneofthemostpreciousthingsinourhouse.However,afewmonthslatershefoundthesameversionwassoldinbulkatanothershopatanunbelievablylowprice,whichannoyedherforquitealongtime.Wecanlearnfromtheexperiencethatweshouldnotalwaystrusttheadvertisementsthatareapparentlyexaggeratingproducts,andkeepalertintheswarmoftelevisioncommercials.
However,thenotionthat“advertisementalwaysmakeusdisappointed”sometimesresultsfromconsumers’unrealisticexpectationofproducts.Advertisingeasilymakespeopletoimagine“perfect”productswhicharenotrealisticatall,butconsumerswouldratherkeepthisunreasonablehope.Thentheywouldbeinevitablydisappointedbytheactualproductswhichcannotbesoperfect,andattributethecausetoadvertising.Butitisactuallytheunrealisticexpectationthateclipsesanyproduct,becauseaperfectimageisabsolutelysubjectiveandcouldnotevenberealized.Forexample,IoncesignedupforagrouptourtoLantaoIslandinHongKong,beingattractedbythebeautifullandscapepicturespostedintheadvertisements.ButlateroninthejourneyIwasdisappointedbecauseactualscenerywasneverasattractiveaswhatIhadexpectedtosee.Therefore,anunrealisticexpectationistobeavoidedinmakinganybuyingdecision.
Inconclusion,advertisementsdomakeproductsseemmuchbetterthantheyreallyare,asaresultofcommercialpropagandaandourunrealistichopeimposedonproducts.Abettersolutionwouldbethatbothconsumersandsellerskeepamorerealisticpointofview,andavoidunreasonablesellingorbuyingbehavior.
2011/8/15
Independentwriting:
Doestechnologymakechildrenlesscreativethaninthepast?
Areourkidsbecominglazierandlesscreative,lessimaginablethanbeforeasaconsequenceofhighlyadvancedtechnology?
Myanswerisno,andjusttheopposite,technologyhasapparentlyassistedourkidstobecomemorecreative.
Firstandforemost,technologyhasprovidedchildrenwitheasyaccesstoscientificandliberalartresourceswhichistheirbestsourceofinspiration.Forexample,childrencouldnoweasilygainaccesstoacademicdatabasesthroughiPadscreen,readclassicalworksonKindle,orwatchhistoricdocumentsonInternet.Thesegreatworksareessentiallyhelpfultoarousingtheircuriosityandpreparesthemwithkeyknowledgenecessaryforanycreation.However,thesewonderfulequipmentsandfaciliti