凯莉成长日记.docx

凯莉成长日记.docx

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凯莉成长日记

1.1

It’salwaysthesamedream.I’minthecity.AndI

belong.Manhattanismine.

Hey,watchit!

ButthenIalwayswakeupthesameoldCarrie

Bradshaw.InCastlebury,Connecticut.Theysaythekeytobeingawriteris

figuringoutwhoyouare,findingyourvoice.Well,thatseemedtobetheonly

thingIhadfoundthatday.

Whereisit?

Please,please.Dorrit!

Where’sthepurse?

Whatpurse?

Givemeabreak,Dorrit.Youknowexactlywhichpurse

I’mtalkingabout.Mom’spurse.

Youcan’tgothroughmystuff.Don’t.

Youhavepot?

Yourfriendssmokepot.

You’re14.

So?

Soifdadfindsout,he’sgoingtokillyou.

Soyoubetternottellhim.

Well,it’dserveyourightifIdid.

You’resuchatattletale.I’msorryIhavea

life,andyoudon’t.

Oh,isthatwhyyou’realwaysspyingonme,listening

tomyphoneconversations?

Donot!

Don’t,too!

Theyear,1984.Romancenovelswerealltherage.We

hadanactorforpresident,andmostpeoplecouldsaytheywerebetteroffnow

thantheywerefouryearsago.Exceptus.Fouryearsago,wehadourmom,And

threemonthsago,welosthertocancer.Thingsweredefinitelynotbetter.

Givemebackmypurse,Dorrit!

God,whatthehellisgoingoninhere?

!

Shebitme!

She’sgoingthroughmystuff!

Wedonothavetimeforthis.Youbothhavetobein

schoolinhalfanhour,allright?

Carrie,goonandgetdressed.

Iknowyoutookit.

Go.Youcan’tbelateonyourfirst

day.And,Dorrit,Thatis…waytoomucheyemakeup.Carrie,you’retheolderone.You

can’ttakethebait.

Ihaveteethmarksonmyarm.

IknowthatDorritcanbedifficult.But…yourmom

wouldwantyoutwotogetalong.

Yeah.Yeah,Iknow.

Allright?

Sowhateveryoutwowerefighting

about,it’snotworthit.

Shestolemom’spurse.

Youdon’tknowthat.

Ican’tgotoschoolwithoutthepurse,dad.

You’regoingtoschool.

Idon’thaveanythingtowear.

comeon.You’vegotawholefloorfullofclothing.

No.Momusedtotakemeshoppingforanoutfit.It

was…wasathingwedid,youknow?

Back-to-schoolchothes?

Okay.Didyouwantmetotakeyou?

No.No,thatwas,um…supposedtobemom.

ISee.

Ijust…Ineedthepurse.I-Ineedapieceofher.

Ihaveanidea.

MymotherleftusonMemorialDay,andthat’swhat

thisclosetfeltlike—amemorial,astilllifeofourlifewithouther,asif

leavingituntouchedmightsomehowbringherback.Wehadbeenforbiddento

enter…untilnow.

Uh,notthatdress.Sheworeitonherlast

birthday.Youcouldspillsomethingonitorripit,youknow?

Really?

Yeah.Just…trynottolet’emgetbrokeninyour

backpack.

I’llbesupercareful,Ipromise.

ThefirstdayofschoolwassomethingIusually

foundexciting.Butsomuchhadchangedforme.

AsIwatchedeveryonepassingaroundthenewsof

thedaylikemonoafterahomecomingdance.IrealizedthatIwasthevirusno

onewantedtogetnear—Thefreakwhohadlosthermom…ExceptforDonnaLaDonna

andherminions,theJens.Donnawasjusttwistedenoughtothinkaconnectionto

tragedywouldmakeherthatmuchmorecompelling,andshewouldn’tbewrong.

Carrie,youpoorgirl.Areyoudoingokay?

Yeah.I’mfine.

Okay,well,ifyouneedanything—Imean,ashoulderto

cryon,fashiontips,maybeevenawandofmascara,I’mhereforyou.

I’llkeepthatinmind.Thanks.

You’resuchagoodperson.

Thanks.

Andthenthereweremypeople—Mybestfriendswho

lovedmenomatterwhat.

Bradshaw.

Mouse.

Iheartyou,youknow?

Iknow.Ineedit.

Boobtoboob,baby.

Hi,Maggie.

Walt,nicesweater.Isthattheonefrom…

TheoneRobLowewaswearingin“Interview”?

Nice

Howyouholdingup?

I’dbealotbetterifIdidn’tfeellikeeveryone

wasstaringatme.

Please.Nooneisevenlookingatyou.

Believeitornot,IthinkMagsactuallymeantthat

asacompliment.

Thereiswaybiggernewstoday.

Ihavetoagree.Newkid.

Newguy.Ajuniorlikeus.

Doesnewkidhaveaname?

Evenhisnameiscool.

SebastianKydd.

Therehewas—thenewkid,SebastianKydd.

He’sbeenkickedoutofthreeboardoagschool—Deerfield,Exeter,andIforgetwhere

else.Hisparentsfinallyhadtogiveupandbringhimhome,They’retotally

rich.HedrivesaPorsche.

Mags,youdorealizeI’mstandingrighthere,andI’m

yourboyfriend?

Hey,Bradshaw.

Hey.

Heardaboutyourmom.Realbummer.

Thanks.

I’llseeyouaround.Ican’tgetkickedoutof

anotherschoolthisearlyintheyear.

Soyouhavesomeexplainingtodo.

Whydidyouhidethisfromus?

Weneedtoknow

everything.

I’mnothidinganything,Iswear.Lastsummer,hehung

outattheswimclub.

Whydon’tIswim?

Becauseyourhairwouldgetwetandyourmakeup

wouldrun.

Where’sWalt?

ItoldhimIwantedittobejustusgirls.

Wereyoutwofightingagain?

Comeon.Youguysarenevergonnabreakup.You’re

forever.

That’sright,andtheMouseandIwouldbeacouple

forever,too.

Whydoyouhavethatlookonyourface?

Mouse,didyoumeetsomeone?

Areyoubreakingupwith

me?

AtthepageprograminD.C.I’vebeendyingtotell

youguys.

Sostarttalking.

Seth.SethGlassman.He’sfromWashington,startedPrinceton.He’sa

freshman.

Ishoulddateanolderguy.

He’samazing.Sosmart.Imean,we’dstayupinthe

dormroomsandwe’djusttalkabouteverything.AndI’dwakeupinhisarmsand

justthink…

Thatyougotlaid.

Justbecauseallyouthinkaboutislosingyour

virginitydoesn’tmeantheMousedoes.Wait.YoulostyourvirginitytoSeth?

Itwaslikeputtingahotdogonakeyhole.Ithurts

sobad.AndIjustkeptthinking,like,whenisthisgoingtoend?

Andluckilyit

did,becauseitwasoverintwoseconds.

Itwasn’tlikethatformeatall.

Wait.YouandWalthadsex?

Iwasn’tsupposedtosayanything.

Waltwon’tbemad.

No,hewill.Just…swearyouwon’tsayanything.

Iwon’t.Iswear.So…I’mthelastvirgin?

It’snobigdeal,Carrie.Imean,sexisn’t

everything.

So…youdon’tfeellikeitchangedyou?

It’sweird.Like,Ifeelmoreconfident,likeIknow

stuff,butscaredcausethere’ssomethingtolose.

Areyouinlovewithhim?

Weshouldgoonadoubledate.Ishecomingupto

visit?

Yeah,Imean…

WhileIhadspentmysummergrievingandlettinggo

ofmychildhhod,myfriendswerefallinginloveandenteringadulthood.

Weshouldgoonatripledate.YoushouldaskSebastian

out.

Askhimtothenewbeginningsdance.Maybehe’llhot

dogyourkeyhole.

Delightful.That’sjusthowI’llaskhim.

Ifyoudo,thenhe’lldefinitelysay”yes.’

Virgin—asexuallyinexperiencedwoman,ablankslate

unchangedbyanypastintimateconnectionorexperience.Theunintiated.Yep,that

prettymuchdescribedme.

Youstolemyhidingplace.

Youhangoutherealot?

Yeah.Yeah,it’saprettygoodescape.

Youhadalottogetawayfrom.

IfonlyIcouldescapemybrain.Doyouever—doyou

everjustsitthere,and—andthewordsandthoughtsare,like,happeningsofast

inyourmindthatyoujust—youcan’tevenunderstandthem?

Notreally.

IwishIhadn’tjustsaidthat,then.

Ithinkit’scoolyouhavesomuchgoingoninyour

head.You’vebeenthroughstuff.Notmanypeopleherecansaythat.

Canyou?

Who,me?

Poorlittlerichkidwhosemomleftwiththe

tennisinstructor?

I’mstillachiche.Yourmomleft?

I’msorry.Ididn’tknow—

Oh,don’tworry.OurmaidLuisastillgetsdinneron

thetable.Nothing’sreallychanged.

Nobody’sbetteroffwithoutamom.

I’msorry,Carrie.

Itwashardtobelieveitwasonlylastyearwehad

spentthesummerhangingout.

Ican’tbelieveyoudon’tknowAtari”Adventure”

Noway.”Spaceinvaders.”That’smygame.Imean,come

on.Yougettokillaliens.

Oh,you’recrazy.No,”Adventure”issocool.Youhave

togetthismagicchalicetoagoldcastle,andthenthere’sthesedragonsthat

aretryingtokillyou.

Soyou’retheprincesswhoslaystheirowndragons?

Well,somedodyhasto.Mightaswellbeme,right?

I’dslayadragonforyou.

Suddenlyeverythingwasdifferent.Iknewhewas

gonnakissme,soIdidwhatanyscared15-year-oldgirlwoulddo.

Aah!

Oh,nowyou’reinforit.

No!

stop.Stop.

ItwasamomentIwantedtolastforever.Myfirst

kiss.

My,uh,parentsareputtinginapoolatourhouse.It’s

almostdone.

Oh.Cool.

Oncehehadhisownpool,IknewIwouldneversee

himagain.AndIwasright…untiltoday.

Doyoustillswim?

Yeah.Yeah,Ireallyloveit.

Ineverswim.

Really?

That’skindofawastesinceyouhaveapool

inyourbackyard.Hey,wouldyou,um

Ishould…You

Me?

Yeah.

Me.Okay.Um…Wouldyou,uh…Would—wouldyou…

Checkitout.

Wouldyouwannagoto…Wouldyouwant…

Whywasmyfatherhere?

ThelasttimeIhadseenhim

inthesehalls,Ilostthemostimportantpersoninmylife.

Youneedtocomehome.Yourmom’sunconscious.Itwon’t

betoomuchlonger.

Carrie?

Areyouokay?

Carrie?

Carrie?

Areyouokay?

Carrie?

Carrie?

Givehersomeair.

Kiddo?

Kiddo,canyouhearme?

Carrie?

!

Thanksforkeepinganeyeonher.

Ofcourse,Mr.Bradshaw.Ibetterheadbackin.

Oh.I’llcallyoulater.

Okay.Bye.

I’mtakingyouhome.

Dad,I’mfine.

Youfainted.

IjustgotscaredwhenIsawyou.Youknow,thelast

timeyouwerehere…

Yeah.Yeah,I’msorry.Ishould’ve—Ishould’vetold

youIwascomingintomeetwithyourguidancecounselor.

Yeah,youshouldhave,andIdon’tneedsomeshrink

talkingabouthowscrewedupIam.

That’snotwhatweweretalkingabout.

Thenwhat?

You’vebeenthroughalot,andwethoughtmaybeit

mightbeagoodideaifyouhadachangeofpace,achangeofscenery.

You’reshippingmeofftoaloonybin.

Somewouldcallitthat…orcallmecrazyfor

agreeingtothi