5 Gimpel the Fool.docx
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5GimpeltheFool
GimpeltheFool
I
IamGimpelthefool.Idon’tthinkmyselfafool.Onthecontrary.Butthat’swhatfolkscallme.TheygavemethenamewhileIwasstillinschool.Ihadsevennamesinall:
imbecile,donkey,flax-head,dope,glump,ninny,andfool.Thelastnamestuck.Whatdidmyfoolishnessconsistof?
Iwaseasytotakein.Theysaid,“Gimpel,youknowtherabbi’swifehasbeenbroughttochildbed?
”SoIskippedschool.Well,itturnedouttobealie.HowwasIsupposedtoknow?
Shehadn’thadabigbelly.ButIneverlookedatherbelly.Wasthatreallysofoolish?
Theganglaughedandhee-hawed,stompedanddancedandchantedagood-nightprayer.Andinsteadoftheraisinstheygivewhenawoman’slyingin,theystuffedmyhandfullofgoatturds.Iwasnoweakling.IfIslappedsomeonehe’dseeallthewaytoCracow.ButI’mreallynotasluggerbynature.Ithinktomyself:
Letitpass.Sotheytakeadvantageofme.
Iwascominghomefromschoolandheardadogbarking.I’mnotafraidofdogs,butofcourseIneverwanttostartupwiththem.Oneofthemmaybemad,andifhebitesthere’snotaTartarintheworldwhocanhelpyou.SoImadetracks.ThenIlookedaroundandsawthewholemarketplacewildwithlaughter.ItwasnodogatallbutWolf-LeibtheThief.HowwasIsupposedtoknowitwashe?
Itsoundedlikeahowlingbitch.
Whentheprankstersandleg-pullersfoundthatIwaseasytofool,everyoneofthemtriedhisluckwithme.“GimpeltheCzariscomingtoFrampol;Gimpel,themoonfelldowninTurbeen;Gimpel,littleHodelFurpiecefoundatreasurebehindthebathhouse.”AndIlikeagolembelievedeveryone.Inthefirstplace,everythingispossible,asitiswrittenintheWisdomoftheFathers,I’veforgottenjusthow.Second,Ihadtobelievewhenthewholetowncamedownonme!
IfIeverdaredtosay,“Ah,you’rekidding!
”therewastrouble.Peoplegotangry.‘Whatdoyoumean!
Youwanttocalleveryonealiar?
”WhatwasItodo?
Ibelievedthem,andIhopeatleastthatdidthemsomegood.
Iwasanorphan.Mygrandfatherwhobroughtmeupwasalreadybenttowardthegrave.Sotheyturnedmeovertoabaker,andwhatatimetheygavemethere!
Everywomanorgirlwhocametobakeabatchofnoodleshadtofoolmeatleastonce.“Gimpel,there’safairinheaven;Gimpel,therabbigavebirthtoacalfintheseventhmonth;Gimpel,acowflewovertheroofandlaidbrasseggs.”Astudentfromtheyeshivacameoncetobuyaroll,andhesaid,“You,Gimpel,whileyoustandherescrapingwithyourbaker’sshoveltheMessiahhascome.Thedeadhavearisen.”“Whatdoyoumean?
”Isaid.“Iheardnooneblowingtheram’shorn!
”Hesaid,“Areyoudeaf?
”Andallbegantocry,“Weheardit,weheard!
”ThenincameRietzetheCandle-dipperandcalledoutinherhoarsevoice,“Gimpel,yourfatherandmotherhavestoodupfromthegrave.They’relookingforyou.”
Totellthetruth,Iknewverywellthatnothingofthesorthadhappened,butallthesame,asfolksweretalking,Ithrewonmywoolvestandwentout.Maybesomethinghadhappened.WhatdidIstandtolosebylooking?
Well,whatacatmusicwentup!
AndthenItookavowtobelievenothingmore.Butthatwasnogoeither.TheyconfusedmesothatIdidn’tknowthebigendfromthesmall.
Iwenttotherabbitogetsomeadvice.Hesaid,“Itiswritten,bettertobeafoolallyourdaysthanforonehourtobeevil.Youarenotafool.Theyarethefools.ForhewhocauseshisneighbortofeelshamelosesParadisehimself.”Neverthelesstherabbi’sdaughtertookmein.AsIlefttherabbinicalcourtshesaid,“Haveyoukissedthewallyet?
”Isaid,“No;whatfor?
”Sheanswered,“It’sthelaw;you’vegottodoitaftereveryvisit.”Well,theredidn’tseemtobeanyharminit.Andsheburstoutlaughing.Itwasafinetrick.Sheputoneoveronme,allright.
Iwantedtogoofftoanothertown,buttheneveryonegotbusymatchmaking,andtheywereaftermesotheynearlytoremycoattailsoff.TheytalkedatmeandtalkeduntilIgotwaterontheear.Shewasnochastemaiden,buttheytoldmeshewasvirginpure.Shehadalimp,andtheysaiditwasdeliberate,fromcoyness.Shehadabastard,andtheytoldmethechildwasherlittlebrother.Icried,“You’rewastingyourtime.I’llnevermarrythatwhore.”Buttheysaidindignantly,“Whatawaytotalk!
Aren’tyouashamedofyourself?
Wecantakeyoutotherabbiandhaveyoufinedforgivingherabadname.”IsawthenthatIwouldn’tescapethemsoeasilyandIthought:
They’resetonmakingmetheirbutt.Butwhenyou’remarriedthehusband’sthemaster,andifthat’sallrightwithherit’sagreeabletometoo.Besides,youcan’tpassthroughlifeunscathed,norexpectto.
Iwenttoherclayhouse,whichwasbuiltonthesand,andthewholegangholleringandchorusing,cameafterme.Theyactedlikebear-baiters.Whenwecametothewelltheystoppedallthesame.TheywereafraidtostartanythingwithElka.Hermouthwouldopenasifitwereonahinge,andshehadafiercetongue.Ienteredthehouse.Lineswerestrungfromwalltowallandclothesweredrying.Barefootshestoodbythetub,doingthewash.Shewasdressedinawornhand-me-downgownofplush.Shehadherhairputupinbraidsandpinnedacrossherhead.Ittookmybreathaway,almost,thereekofitall.
EvidentlysheknewwhoIwas.Shetookalookatmeandsaid,“Lookwho’shere!
He’scome,thedrip.Grabaseat.”
Itoldherall;Ideniednothing.“Tellmethetruth,”Isaid,“areyoureallyavirgin;andisthatmischievousYechielactuallyyourlittlebrother?
Don’tbedeceitfulwithme,forI’manorphan.”
“I’manorphanmyself,”sheanswered,“andwhoevertriestotwistyouup,maytheendofhisnosetakeatwist.Butdon’tletthemthinktheycantakeadvantageofme.Iwantadowryoffiftyguilders,andletthemtakeupacollectionbesides.Otherwisetheycankissmyyou-know-what.”Shewasveryplainspoken.Isaid,“It’sthebrideandnotthegroomwhogivesadowry.”Thenshesaid,“Don’tbargainwithme.Eitheraflat‘yes’oraflat‘no’—Gobackwhereyoucamefrom.”
Ithought:
Nobreadwilleverbebakedfromthisdough.Butoursisnotapoortown.Theyconsentedtoeverythingandproceededwiththewedding.Itsohappenedthattherewasadysenteryepidemicatthetime.Theceremonywasheldatthecemeterygates,nearthelittlecorpse-washinghut.Thefellowsgotdrunk.WhilethemarriagecontractwasbeingdrawnupIheardthemostpioushighrabbiask,“Isthebrideawidoworadivorcedwoman?
”Andthesexton’swifeansweredforher,“Bothawidowanddivorced.”Itwasablackmomentforme.ButwhatwasItodo,runawayfromunderthemarriagecanopy?
”
Therewassinginganddancing.Anoldgrannydancedoppositeme,huggingabraidedwhitechalah.Themasterofrevelsmadea‘God‘amercy’inmemoryofthebride’sparents.Theschoolboysthrewburrs,asonTisheb’Avfastday.Therewerealotofgiftsafterthesermon:
anoodleboard,akneadingtrough,abucket,brooms,ladies,householdarticlesgalore.ThenItookalookandsawtwostrappingyoungmencarryingacrib.“Whatdoweneedthisfor?
”Iasked.Sotheysaid,“Don’trackyourbrainsaboutit.It’sallright,it’llcomeinhandy.”IrealizedIwasgoingtoberooked.Takeitanotherwaythough,whatdidIstandtolose?
Ireflected:
I’llseewhatcomesofit.Awholetowncan’tgoaltogethercrazy.
II
AtnightIcamewheremywifelay,butshewouldn’tletmein.“Say,lookhere,isthiswhattheymarriedusfor?
”Isaid.Andshesaid,“Mymonthlyhascome.”“Butyesterdaytheytookyoutotheritualbath,andthat’safterward,isn’titsupposedtobe?
”“Todayisn’tyesterday,”saidshe,“andyesterday’snottoday.Youcanbeatitifyoudon’tlikeit.”Inshort,Iwaited.
Notfourmonthslatershewasinchildbed.Thetownsfolkhidtheirlaughterwiththeirknuckles.ButwhatcouldIdo?
Shesufferedintolerablepainsandclawedatthewalls.“Gimpel,”shecried,“I’mgoing.Forgiveme!
”Thehousefilledwithwomen.Theywereboilingpansofwater.Thescreamsrosetothewelkin.
ThethingtodowastogotheHouseofPrayertorepeatPsalms,andthatwaswhatIdid.
Thetownsfolklikedthat,allright.IstoodinacornersayingPsalmsandprayers,andtheyshooktheirheadsatme.“Pray,pray!
”theytoldme.“Prayernevermadeanywomanpregnant.”Oneofthecongregationputastrawtomymouthandsaid,“Hayforthecows.”Therewassomethingtothattoo,byGod!
Shegavebirthtoaboy.FridayatthesynagoguethesextonstoodupbeforetheArk,poundedonthereadingtable,andannounced,“ThewealthyRebGimpelinvitesthecongregationtoafeastinhonorofthebirthofason.”ThewholeHouseofPrayerrangwithlaughter.Myfacewasflaming.ButtherewasnothingIcoulddo.Afterall,Iwastheoneresponsibleforthecircumcisionhonorsandrituals.
Halfthetowncamerunning.Youcouldn’twedgeanothersoulin.Womenbroughtpepperedchickpeas,andtherewasakegofbeerfromthetavern.Iateanddrankasmuchasanyone,andtheyallcongratulatedme.Thentherewasacircumcision,andInamedtheboyaftermyfather,mayherestinpeace.WhenallweregoneandIwasleftwithmywifealone,shethrustherheadthroughthebed-curtainandcalledmetoher.
“Gimpel,”saidshe,“whyareyousilent?
Hasyourshipgoneandsunk?
”
“WhatshallIsay?
’Ianswered.“Afinethingyou’vedonetome!
Ifmymotherhadknownofitshe’dhavediedasecondtime.”
Shesaid,“Areyoucrazy,orwhat?
’
“Howcanyoumakesuchafool,”Isaid,“ofonewhoshouldbethefordandmaster?
”
“What’sthematterwithyou?
”shesaid.“Whathaveyoutakenitintoyourheadtoimagine?
”
IsawthatImustspeakbluntlyandopenly.“Doyouthinkthisistheway