第五季.docx

第五季.docx

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第五季

501TheOneAfterRossSaysRachel

[Scene:

Ross’sWedding,continuedfromlastseason,theMinisterisabouttomarryRossandEmily.]

Minister:

Friends.Family.WearegatheredtocelebrateheretodaythejoyousunionofRossandEmily.（Timelapse）NowRoss,repeatafterme.IRoss...

Ross:

IRoss...

Minister:

Takethee,Emily...

Ross:

Takethee,Rachel...（Allhisfriendshavelooksofshockontheirfaces.Herealizeswhathesaid.Quicklyhesays.）Emily.（Aslightchuckle.）Emily.

Minister:

（Lookingandfeelingawkward.helookstowardsEmily.）Uhh...ShallIgoon?

Rachel:

（Tothewomansittinginfrontofher）He-hesaidRachel,right?

DoyouthinkIshouldgoupthere?

Emily:

Yes,yes,dogoon.

Minister:

Ithinkwe’dbetterstartagain.Ross,repeatafterme.I,Ross…

Ross:

I,Ross…

Minister:

Takethee,EM-I-LY…

Ross:

Takethee,（GlaresattheMinister）Emily.（Chuckles）Likethere’dbeanybodyelse.（Emilyisglaringathim.）

Minister:

Asmylawfullyweddedwife,insicknessandinhealth,tilldeathpartsus.

Ross:

Asmylawfullyweddedwife,insicknessandinhealth,untildeathpartsus.Really,Ido.Emily.（Pointsather.）

Minister:

MayIhavetherings?

（Heisgiventherings）Emily,placethisringonRoss’sfingerasasymbolofyourbondeverlasting.（Shejamstheringontohisfinger）Ross,placethisringinEmily’shandasasymbolofthelovethatencirclesyouforever.

Ross:

Happytoo.

Minister:

RossandEmilyhavemadetheirdeclarationsanditgivesmegreatpleasuretodeclarethemhusbandandwife.

Ross:

Yay!

Minister:

Youmaykissthebride.

（Hegoestokissher,butsheisn’tveryreceptiveofthekiss.Shekeepsavoidinghim,untilRossfinallygetstokissheronhercheek.）

Mrs.Geller:

（ToMr.Geller）Thisisworsethanwhenhemarriedthelesbian.

（Thebandstartstoplay,andtherecessionalstarts.RosstriestotakeEmily’shand,butshesnatchesitawayfromhim.）

Emily:

Justkeepsmiling.

Ross:

Okay.

Joey:

Well,thatwentwell.Yeah.

Chandler:

Itcould’vebeenworse,hecould’veshother.

（RossandEmilymakeittothelobby.）

Ross:

（laughs）Thatuh,thatwasprettyfunny.Wasn’tit?

（Emilygiveshimaforearmshotacrossthestomach.）

OpeningCredits

[Scene:

TheWeddingreception,RossandEmilyareinthebathroomandEmilyisyellingathim.Rachel,Chandler,Joey,andMonicaarestandingoutsidethedoorway.]

Emily:

（Yellingfrominsidethebathroom）You’vespoiledeverything!

It’slikeanightmare!

Myfriendsandfamilyareoutthere!

HowcanIfacethem?

!

Howcanyoudothistome?

!

Joey:

（Tothegang）Hey,nomatterwhathappenswithRossandEmily,westillgetcakeright?

Ross:

（exitingthebathroom）That-that-that’sallright,nohoney,youtakeyourtimesweetie.I’llberightouthere.（Sheslamsthedoorinhisface,tothegang）She’sjustfixinghermakeup.

Emily:

Ihateyou!

!

Ross:

And,Iloveyou!

!

（Hewalksintothelivingroom）

Mr.Geller:

Boy,badtimetosaythewrongname,huhRoss?

Ross:

That’strue,thanksdad.（ToAll）Peopleshouldbedancing!

Huh?

Hey,thisisaparty!

Comeon!

Joey,dance!

!

（Hestartstodancebutstopswhennooneelsejoinshim.）

（Mrs.Waltham’sphoneringsandsheanswersit.）

Mrs.Waltham:

Yes,Walthaminteriors.

Phoebe:

（Onthephone,inNewYork）Uh,hello,thisisRossGeller’spersonalphysician,Dr.Philange.

Mrs.Waltham:

Who?

Phoebe:

Yeah,I’vediscoveredthatRossforgottotakehisbrainmedicine,uh,nowwithoutit,uh,inthebrainofRoss,uhwomen’snamesareinterchangeable,through-throughnofaultofhisown.

Mrs.Waltham:

OhmyGod,Phoebe.

Phoebe:

No,notPhoebe,Dr.Philange.Ohno!

Youhaveittoo!

（Mrs.Walthamhangsuponher.）

Phoebe:

Hello?

（CuttoChandlerandMonicaatthebuffettable.）

Chandler:

Hey.

Monica:

Hey.

Chandler:

Ohwow,Ihopeyoudon’ttakethisthewrongwaybut,Iknowwehadplanstomeetuptonightand,ugh,I’mjustkindaworriedaboutwhatitmightdotoourfriendship.

Monica:

Iknow.Howcouldwehaveletthishappen?

Chandler:

Seventimes!

Monica:

Ugh!

Well,y’know,wewereaway…

Chandler:

Inaforeign,romanticcountry…

Monica:

IblameLondon.

Chandler:

BadLondon!

（Takesaspoonandsmackstheturkey.）

Monica:

Solookumm,whilewe’rest-stillinLondon,Imean,wecankeepdoingitright?

Chandler:

Well,Idon’tseethatwehaveachoice.But,whenwe’rebackhome,wedon’tdoit.

Monica:

Onlyhere.

Chandler:

Y’know,Isawawinecellardownstairs…

Monica:

I’llmeetyouthereintwominutes.

Chandler:

Okay!

（Hethrowsdownhisplateandrunstothewinecellar,MonicaisabouttofollowhimbutisinterceptedbyRachel.）

Rachel:

Mon,honey,Igottaaskyousomething.

Monica:

（impatiently）Now?

Rachel:

Rosssaidmynameupthere,Imean,comeon,Ijustcan’tpretendthatdidn’thappencanI?

Monica:

Oh,I-Idon’tknow.

Rachel:

Monica,whatshouldIdo?

Monica:

Justuh,dotherightthing.（Usessomebreathspray）

Rachel:

What?

Monica:

Toetheline.Threadtheneedle.Thinkoutsidethebox!

（Triestoleave,butisstoppedbyRachel.）

Rachel:

Whoa,wait,listen,IthinkI’mjustgonnatalktoRossaboutwhathethinkitmeant.

Monica:

Wait.Rachel,no,he’smarried.Married!

Ifyoudon’trealizethat,Ican’thelpyou.

Rachel:

Okay,you’reright.You’reright.Youcan’thelpme.

（CuttoMr.andMrs.Geller.）

Mrs.Geller:

Jack,isitallourfault?

Werewebadparents?

Mr.Waltham:

（walkingby）Yes.

Mr.Geller:

Ohyeah,wellwhoservessteakwhenthere’snoplacetosit,Imeanhowareyousupposedtoeatthis?

Joey:

Hey,what’sup?

（Hehassolvedtheproblemofeatingthesteak,he’seatingitwithhishands.）

（CuttoMonicaandChandler,Monicaisrunninguptohim.）

Monica:

Wherewereyou?

Weweresupposedtomeetinthewinecellar?

Chandler:

Forgetit,that’soff.

Monica:

Why?

!

Mr.Waltham:

（drunkenly）Thenexttourofthewinecellarwillplanintwoin-inminutes…

（Joeywalksuptothem.）

Monica:

Joey,whatareyoudoing?

YoupromisedPhoebeyouwouldn’teatmeatuntilshehasthebabies!

Joey:

Well,Ifiguredwe’reinanothercountry,soitdoesn’tcount.

Monica:

That’strue.

Chandler:

Theman’sgotapoint.

（CuttoRachelandRoss.）

Rachel:

Oh,hi!

Ross:

Hi!

Rachel:

Hi.Sorry,thingsaren’tworkingoutsowell.

Ross:

Ohno!

Itcouldbebetter,butit’sgonnabeokay,right?

Rachel:

Ohyeah!

Ofcourse,Imean,she’sgonnagetoverthis,y’know?

Imean,soyousaidmyname!

Y’knowyoujustsaidit‘causeyousawmethere,ifyou’dhaveseenacircusfreak,youwould’vesaid,"Itaketheecircusfreak."Y’know,itdidn’tmeananything,it’sjustamistake.Itdidn’tmeananything.Right?

Ross:

No!

No!

Ofcourseitdidn’tmeananything!

Imean,uhwell,IcanunderstandwhyEmilywouldthinkitmeantsomething,y’know,because-becauseitwasyou…

Rachel:

Right…

Ross:

Butitabsolutelydidn’t.（Yellingtowardsthebathroom）Itdidn’t!

!

Itdidn’t!

!

Joey:

（approaching）Ross,hey,theband’sreadyoutsideforyourfirstdancewithEmily,so…

Ross:

（sarcastic）Oh!

Oh-oh,theband’sready!

Well,I-I-wegottadowhatthebandsays—Idon’tcareaboutthestupidband!

!

Joey:

Youspitonmeman!

（Wipeshisface.）

Ross:

Look,I’msorry.

Joey:

Emilyiskindatakingalongtime,huh?

Rachel:

（laughs）Y’knowwhenIlockedmyselfinthebathroomatmywedding,itwasbecauseIwastryingtopopthewindowoutoftheframe.

Ross:

Oh,right!

Rachel:

Getthehelloutofthere,y’know?

（Theyallstartlaughing,andquicklystopwhentheyrealizewhatshejustsaidandrunovertothebathroom.）

Ross:

（Bangsonthebathroomdoor）Emily?

Emily?

I’mcomingin.（Heopensthedoortorevealthatthewindowisgone,alongwithEmily.）

Rachel:

Well,lookatthat,samething.

[Scene:

LondonMarriott,MonicaandChandlerarewalkingtoherroom.]

Chandler:

Listen,inthemiddleofeverythingifIscreamtheword,"Yippee!

"justignoreme.

（ShelaughsandopensthedoortorevealRachelsittingonthebed.）

Monica:

OhmyGod,Rachel!

Hi!

Chandler:

Oh,helloRachel.

Rachel:

Rosssaidmyname.Okay?

Myname.Rosssaidmynameuptherethatobviouslymeansthathestilllovesme!

（Theybothjuststareather.）Okay,don’tbelieveme,IknowI’mright—doyouguyswanttogodownstairsandgetadrink?

Chandler:

Yes,wedo.But,wehavetochangefirst.

Monica:

Yes,Iwanttochange.Andwhy-whydon’tyougodownandgetusatable?

Chandler:

Yeah,we’llbedowninlikefiveminutes.

Monica:

（elbowshim）Fifteenminutes.

Rachel:

Okay.

（ThephoneringsandRachelanswersit.）

Rachel:

Hello?

Oh,Pheebs!

（Tothem）It’sPhoebe!

Chandler:

Oh,yay…

Monica:

Great…

Rachel:

Hi!

Phoebe:

Hi,sowhathappened?

Rachel:

Well,Rosssaidmyname.

Phoebe:

Yeah,Iknow,butIdon’tthinkthatmeansanything.

Rachel:

Okay,Pheebs,y’knowwhat,let’slookatthisobjectivelyallright?

Ninthgrade,right?

Theobsessionstarts.Allright?

Thesummerafterninthgradeheseesmeinatwo-pieceforthefirsttime,hisobsessionbeginstogrow.Sothen…

Chandler:

（ToMonica）Hey,listen,whydon’twegochangeinmyroom?

Monica:

Butmyclothesare—ohh!

（Theybothleave.）

（CuttoChandler’sroom,heopensthedoorslowlytoseeifJoeyisthereandafterseeingthatheisn’t,ushersMonicaintotheroom,closesthedoor,andthesecuritybar.）

Chandler:

Wow,youlook…

Monica:

Notimeforthat!

（Theybothstarttofranticallyripeachother’sclothesoff,butareinterruptedwhenJoeytriestoopenthedoor.）

Joey:

Hey,dude,letmein.Igotagirlouthere!

Chandler:

Well,I’vegotagirlinhere.

Joey:

Noyoudon’t,IjustsawyougointherewithMonica!

Chandler:

Well,we’re-we’rehangingoutinhere!

Joey:

Look,whichoneofusisgonnabehavingsexinthere,meoryou?

Chandler:

Well,IsupposeI’dhavetosayyou!

!

But,whatifwe’rewatchingamovieinhere?

Monica:

Whic